Tricare wants to be sure you aren’t calling this phone sex line

Be careful how you dial the newly minted Tricare East's 800 number, or you could unintentionally end up on what appears to be a phone sex hotline.

That's a lesson one Tricare East user learned the, er, hard way Jan. 24, when she misdialed the Tricare East contractor by one digit. Instead of dialing Humana's number 1-800-444-5445, she dialed 1-800-444-5455.

"Hey there hot stuff," a sultry female voice greets callers. "I've been waiting for your call. Are you ready for some tantalizing fun?"

It gets, uh, hotter from there. But for a $7.99 access fee plus $4.99 a minute, with a surcharge of $8.99 for "certain selections," you hear even more than we did.

To be sure, the greeting is more entertaining than the one on Humana's Tricare East number.

"Welcome to Humana Tricare East," it states. "Medical emergencies should hang up and dial 911."

Bor-ing.

Also Read: Chances are the hot model that added you to her social feed is a Russian spy

Tricare East and its new 800 number rolled out Jan. 1 as the system shifted from a three contractor, three region system — Tricare North, South, and West — to the two contractor, two region system of Tricare East and West. Tricare East is managed by Humana, while Tricare West is managed by Health Net Federal Services.

We stopped our unofficial investigation into the incorrect number short of entering our corporate credit card information — we didn't think the bean counters would understand such research. But we're not worried about the number showing up on the phone bill. After all, the recording promises that the whole thing is "discreetly billed."

Neither Humana nor Tricare officials responded by deadline for requests for comment. But what is there to really say about this, anyway?