While researching another story, I came across a recent exercise designed to steel NATO for battling Russian subs. The war game was named for a ferret-like creature that subsists on insects and worms.
Nothing like a small mammal to drive terror into an adversary’s heart.
How do military leaders come up with these? In the case of the US, military commands are assigned blocks of the alphabet, say from AA to AD, from which they can choose two word names. Such as Agile Diver. The rules forbid “commercial trademarks,” “anything offensive to good taste,” or that are similar in spelling to a code word.
They also set aside words for certain commands. “Cheese,” for example, is only to be used by the chief of naval operation’s office. Ditto “rabbit.”
(Great Britain’s Prime Minister Winston Churchill specifically warned about “frivolous” words, saying no one would want to tell a grieving mother her son died in an operation named “Bunnyhug.”)
Here’s a totally objective guide to the worst-named military operations and exercises of all time.
Bold Alligator is a large-scale amphibious exercise that showcases naval forces like the US Marines.
(US Marine Corps photo by Pfc. Nicholas Guevara)
1. Exercise Bold Alligator
Alligators are cold-blooded and pretty low energy most of the time.
Ferrets make great pets.
(Photo by Alfredo Gutiérrez)
2. Operation Black Ferret
Ferrets are small, furry mammals that have been domesticated. The wild ones are known to dance a gig to hypnotize their prey, according to Mental Floss.
Operation Black Ferret was a search and destroy mission in Vietnam.
Mermaid performer Paisley Easton.
(Weeki Wachee Springs State Park)
3. Operation Mermaid Dawn
In addition to not finding ferrets frightening — setting aside “The Big Lebowski” scene where a ferret scares the Dude in a bathtub — I don’t especially find the prospect of mermaids at dawn threatening.
Rebels named their 2011 assault on Tripoli, according to this excellent overview of military naming by Mental Floss.
This was the name for a 2005 mission to seize weapons and propaganda before a referendum on the Iraqi constitution.
4. Operation Flea Flicker
Got an itch?
(Photo by Ricky Kharawala)
5. Operation Cajun Mousetrap III
What about the mousetrap makes it Cajun? And did this mousetrap work better the 3rd time around?
This was the name of a nighttime raid on Samarra, Iraq in 2004.
The saxophones of the US Air Force’s jazz ensemble.
(Airman 1st Class Jalene Brooks/US Air Force)
6. Exercise Steadfast Jazz
This is one jazz set that just doesn’t quit!
Fully 6,000 troops in NATO’s ready-response force participated in this ludicrously named 2013 exercise.
Hat tip to Business Insider’s Pentagon Correspondent Ryan Pickrell for the suggestion.
The mongoose’s connection with this massive NATO naval exercise remains unclear to the author.
(US Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Amanda S. Kitchner)
7. Exercise Dynamic Mongoose.
Notably, NATO also has an Exercise Dynamic Manta.
(Photo by Jan Kahánek)
8. Operation Therapist
How does it make you feel?
The was the name of a 2005 Army mission in Tikrit, Iraq.
A US war game had a name pretty similar to a Nirvana hit.
These operations and exercises almost made the cut.
Gringo-Goucho: Aircraft carrier exercises involving the US and Argentine navies. The term “gringo” occasionally has a pejorative meaning for English-speaking Americans.
Team Spirit: A joint US-South Korea training that ended in 1993, and that keeps reminding me of Nirvana’s 1991 hit, “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”
Operation Desert Snowplough: Reportedly a name for a Danish operation during the Iraq War.
Operation Frequent Wind: The evacuation of civilians from Saigon in 1975.
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