--- title: "Verenice Castillo turned isolation into a lifeline for thousands of military spouses" date: "2026-09-01" modified: "2026-09-01" authors: - name: "Jessica Manfre" job_title: "Coast Guard Spouse, Contributor" link: "https://www.wearethemighty.com/authors/jessicamanfre/" url: "https://www.wearethemighty.com/mighty25/verenice-castillo-turned-isolation-into-a-lifeline-for-thousands-of-military-spouses/" categories: - "Mighty 25" tags: - "Mighty 25: 2026" --- # Verenice Castillo turned isolation into a lifeline for thousands of military spouses ![verenice castillo]() *(Courtesy of Verenice Castillo)* When Verenice Castillo left Mexico at 16 years old for a new life in America, she thought her days of starting over were behind her. Still learning the language and culture, Castillo was thriving in El Paso, Texas. Just a few years later, she met a soldier. “Like literally, I was just learning about this country. I had no idea what the military was about. And when we met, he told me that if we got married, we're gonna move around. I thought that we were gonna move around like houses or jobs or something,” she laughed. Her husband was a self-described Army brat himself and stationed at Fort Bliss. He was completely at home in a world she barely understood. After they married, the moves began, and so did the isolation, though she was no stranger to it; this time, it seemed to be magnified. Unable to speak English fluently, Castillo remembers feeling like an outsider watching everyone else know what to do and where they belonged. Then 9/11 happened. “My husband called me that morning and told me he wanted to leave the Army to join the Air Force and be part of their security forces. In my mind, he wanted to be a cop, and I had no idea what was going to come,” she explained. ![verenice castillo usaf]() *Verenice Castillo explains the origins of the Strength for Spouses deployment briefings to Mrs. Paula Roy, spouse of Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force James Roy, at the 42nd Security Forces Squadron Aug. 6, 2012. (U.S. Air Force/Melanie Rodgers Cox)* Their family moved again and again, with multiple deployments overseas in between. It didn’t get easier, and as a matter of fact, she found that the older her two boys were, the harder the separation was. The loneliness and high op-tempo were debilitating, she recalled. “I was not the only one, and I think that is something that we all deal with: that we’re thinking we’re the only ones dealing with a challenge, we are the only ones feeling depressed or feeling sad, or feeling lonely. And that’s not the case,” Castillo said. As she began talking to other military spouses, something shifted. Instead of asking why this was happening, she started to think about what she could do to help. “We all assume that if we ask for help, our spouse is going to get in trouble because now he or she has a ‘troubled spouse,’” she said. “We cannot do it on our own. It is OK to ask for help. It is OK to feel bad. It is OK to have a bad day.” Castillo started small. As she researched resources, she shared them. Castillo also began mentoring brand-new spouses, because she knew exactly what they were going through. She quickly realized that the seasoned spouses were struggling, too. It was here that she saw a cracked foundation in the culture and the need for community support. “If you don’t know three people around you, you’re not really gonna know the community, and you’re not really gonna experience what it’s all about,” Castillo shared. Her boots-on-the-ground work supporting Air Force spouses led to her being named Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year in 2013. ![First Lady Michelle Obama, Dr. Jill Biden and Prince Harry of Wales, participate in a receiving line in the Blue Room during the Joining Forces initiative Mother's Day tea in honor of military mothers at the White House, May 9, 2013. (Official White House Photo by Lawrence Jackson)]() *First Lady Michelle Obama, Dr. Jill Biden and Prince Harry of Wales, in the Blue Room during the Joining Forces initiative Mother's Day tea in honor of military mothers at the White House, May 9, 2013. (White House Photo/Lawrence Jackson) Lawrence Jackson* As she thought about how she could grow her work beyond the Air Force, she was sure it was rooted in investing in community. It was through that conviction that the Military Spouse Advocacy Network was founded in 2014. The goal was to build peer-to-peer mentoring and support, providing that vital connection and access to resources. Twelve years later, it is a nationally recognized nonprofit organization collaborating with Harvard University and the University of Notre Dame. Today, MSAN is known for turning everyday spouses into volunteers, advocates, and leaders. The Military Spouse Leader Development programming was built around empowering spouses to lean into their hard moments and use those moments as fuel. For years, Castillo herself felt like she was unprepared for certain conversations and created the program she wished she had when she needed it the most. As she reflects on how far MSAN has come since its early days, she doesn’t see herself as a figurehead but rather a teammate standing shoulder to shoulder alongside them. ![Verenice Castillo leader]() *(Courtesy of Verenice Castillo)* When Castillo first came to the United States, her father told her she had been given an opportunity for a better life and, with it, a responsibility. “He told me, ‘You have been given an opportunity to have a better life, and you have to take advantage of that.’ And I remember telling him, ‘I’m gonna become the best citizen that I can, and I’m gonna do my best to be something good for this country,” she remembered. Castillo never imagined that long-ago promise turning into creating a global network of military spouses, working with elite universities and building the community she’d been praying for. “I don’t think that there’s a shiny goal that I’m pursuing. I think it’s a daily goal of how many more people we can help,” Castillo said. ![vernice castillo msan]() *(Courtesy of Verenice Castillo)* For the 16‑year‑old immigrant who promised her father she would become “the best citizen” she could be, this is what that promise looks like now. It’s not a single triumphant finish, but a life spent standing in the gap so no military spouse ever has to stand there alone. You can learn more about MSAN by visiting [MilitarySpouseAdvisoryNetwork.org](). **Don’t Miss the Best of We Are The Mighty** **• [No one showed up for rural military towns like hers. Michelle Lang did.]()** **• [Richard Brookshire sued the VA for its own data. It proved Black veterans right.]()** **• [Kenneth Fisher’s relentless commitment to America’s military families]()** ## Author Jessica is a clinical social worker, writer, and military advocate whose work for We Are The Mighty focuses on the lived realities of military service, especially the moments that come after the uniform comes off. Her writing centers on veterans, military spouses, and families navigating transition, identity, resilience, and healing, often blending clinical insight with deeply human storytelling. She covers leadership, service, community impact, and the cultural shifts shaping today’s military-connected population, frequently drawing from interviews with senior military leaders, influencers, and grassroots voices across the space. Beyond writing, Jessica serves as Director of MilSpouseFest and works as a Military Events Manager, leading national campaigns and large-scale events that bring military communities together. She is the author of Never Alone (Moody Publishers) and is currently developing her next book, After the Battle. When she’s not writing or advocating, Jessica can usually be found with a good cup of coffee in hand, tackling her ever-growing TBR, hiking with her dog, or spending quality time with her family. She is a proud military spouse of an active-duty U.S. Coast Guard member and draws inspiration from the resilience, humor, and heart of military life every day. ### Author social links [Facebook]() [Twitter]() [Instagram]()