'What happens if you refuse to shower' & other dumb questions
"What happens to a recruit in the military if they refuse to take a shower during basic training?"
U.S. Army vet Jennifer Campbell doesn't even flinch about this one: "Oh, you gotta smother them with a blanket."
I wasn't sure what this meant, but thankfully Green Beret Chase Millsap elaborated: "If you refuse to take a shower, your friends are going to force you to take a shower." And if anyone is still confused by this, Air Force vet Mark Harper makes it very clear: "They bring the soap to you. It's called a blanket party. Lotta fun."
Ohhhhhhhh. Now I get it.
I love this question because it's the first time I've ever seen U.S. Army vet Rosario Eléna get effing angry. I was scared. And delighted.
"How do you break up with a woman who was a marksman in the U.S. Army. I'm not a fan of guns all around me."
Campbell is really getting the hang of answering these dumb questions: "I would do it from at least 400 yards away. She's a marksman, not a sharpshooter, so you should probably be alright."
Hint: That's the smile of a woman who can definitely take you in a fight.
"Would a modern soldier with Spartan-level training be significantly more effective than the average modern soldier in special forces?"
Let Millsap hook you up with a little dose of history here, okay? "Spartans, at the age of seven, were ripped from their mothers and sent to the agoge, where they were taught to lie, cheat, steal, bribe, and even sing, so they could become the best warriors in all of Greece."
Other vets had answers that weren't exactly helpful but were nonetheless important, like U.S. Navy Vet August Dannehl, who started doing impersonations from the 300 film, or Eléna who just weighed in on the fact that the soldiers would be sexier if they were Spartan.
Wait, is that Leonidas or Jarred Taylor?
"How would one go about buying a naval ship like a destroyer or a frigate? And how much would it be?"
"You know, Craigslist has a lot of hidden gems," offers U.S. Marine Jen Brofer. She's not wrong.
Dear question-asker, wherever you are, if you want to buy a Navy ship, now is the time. All of your dreams are coming true! The United States government is currently auctioning off a Halter Marine Logistic Support Vessel for $1,000,000.
I guessed $20-25, so I wasn't too far off, and that's something I'll always be proud of.
"How can I prepare for joining the United States Marine Corps?"
Let's see if you can pick out the Marines and the non-Marines in these answers:
--Have your parents yell at you for no reason
--Start wearing really little shorts
--Pick up a backpack, put your entire room in it, and start walking around for days
--Running, just keep running
--Eat every meal in four minutes or less
--Get a fistful of crayons and start coming up with recipes
--Stay awake for long periods of time for absolutely no reason
--Shower with a lot of people
--Empty your headZing!! It's fun to make fun of other branches!
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