Widgets Magazine
MIGHTY CULTURE

These are the most freedom packed fireworks for the 4th of July

Fireworks have been an American tradition since 1777 when they first lit up the skies of Philadelphia. It is an important time of reflection of everything American with the joy of pyrotechnics. The 4th of July is a time when Ol' Glory is on everything from beer cans to bikinis, and we wouldn't have it any other way. Patriots buy around 247,550,000 pounds of Freedom every year for this special holiday.

As long as you don't live in Delaware and Massachusetts, the only two U.S. states that ban the sale and use of any and all consumer fireworks, you'll be fine. Remember to check if your county has any restrictions on specific types as well.


First course - sparklers

A night of fireworks should be served like a five-course meal. Sparklers, the appetizer of fireworks, are safe with adult supervision and are great to get everyone in the mood to see some color. If you're able to find the neon kind, pick those up because they'll show up the best on phone cameras. Sparklers are great for kids or those scared of the boom-boom variety.

The advantage to these is that they're cheap relative to the exploding kind and a few packs will entertain for a while. A sleeve will cost around $2.50 with 5 pieces and a box with 40 pieces should be around $20.

Second course - firecrackers

Firecrackers are a staple of every fourth of July BBQ, but there are so many brands and sizes that it's easy to get overwhelmed deciding which kind to buy. The following video is a power test of some brands that can be purchased at fireworks tents. As always, exercise caution when using these and don't do what this guy is doing at home.

The prices range from $1.99 for 100 pieces to $34.99 for 4,000 pieces and up.

Third course - cones

Snowcones are my personal favorite because they're great to get people excited for the main course while getting a good amount of fire for your money. Snowcones cost $11.50 give or take depending on taxes and availability. Some wholesalers are already sold out of these so if you see them definitely buy at least one.

The main course - box fireworks

Alright, time to set the little stuff aside and put some serious rounds down range. Get yourself a fireworks box, and I'm not talking about the variety pack from Walmart. I'm talking about the kind you buy from the fireworks tent from some guy named Bubba, and you're unsure if this was smuggled into the country somehow. They run around $150 and are worth every penny. Blackcat is the most trusted brand in this category if you want to invest in quality. You're going to want to outgun every neighbor as you all duke it out like the founding fathers wanted.

Seriously, John Adams wanted you to blow up as many fireworks as you can.

It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more. - John Adams, Letter to Abigail Adams

Dessert - custom builds

Usually, after four courses, people are full but there is always room for dessert. In the case of fireworks, this means your custom builds, the kind that you needed to get permission from the federal government to fire off. The kind of explosions that make ISIS say "F*ck that was loud." In all seriousness, though, don't make custom builds unless you have the proper license and training. 5 seconds of 'wow' is not worth your life.

Obligatory advisory:

Consumer fireworks in the United States are limited to 500 grams of composition and firecrackers may have up to 50 milligrams of flash powder. Reloadable shells are limited to 1.75" in diameter, and shells in pre-fused tubes are limited to 2". Any fireworks that exceed these limits are not considered consumer fireworks and need an ATF license. - The Consumer Product Safety Commission