Former Secretary of Defense, retired general,
and Patron Saint of Chaos James Mattis has announced that he will be publishing an autobiography called Call Sign Chaos: Learning to Lead. It's said to cover him coming to terms with leadership learned throughout his military career starting from his days as a young Marine lieutenant to four-star general in charge of CENTCOM.
I don't know about you guys, but I'm freaking pumped. Yes, I'd love to know the nitty-gritty of commanding a quarter million troops, but I want to know about his lesser-known butter bar years leading a weapons platoon. Because let's be honest, that's where the seeds of his leadership style really grew.
He probably made mistakes and got chewed out for it. He slipped up and got mocked by the lower enlisted. He would have had to ask for advice and eventually grow into one of the smartest minds Uncle Sam has seen in a long time. Even the Warrior Monk himself may have been that nosy LT who needed to be whipped into shape by the platoon sergeant, and that's kind of motivating in its own way. Yeah, you may f*ck up once in a while, but not even Chaos Actual was a born leader. He had to learn it.
Just think. There's an old salty devil dog out there somewhere who's responsible for knife-handing the boot-tenant out of Mattis. And he's the real hero of this story.
While we wait for the one book that will actually get Jarheads to read for fun on June 16th, here's some memes.
1. You're not wrong...
(Meme via Army as F*ck)
2. Your only hope is to blink "S.O.S." in Morse code.
(Meme via Team Non-Rec)
3. The only reason anyone ever gets promoted to corporal in the Army is to do all the paperwork and dumb sh*t the sergeants don't want to do.
(Meme via Not CID)
4. "You'll love it, kid. You'll travel the world and get f*cked every day!"
(Meme via SFC Majestic)
5. Cool. But it'll still deadline the moment you look at it.
(Meme via Broken and Unreadable)
6. Fun fact: The Department of Energy renamed natural gas "freedom gas" in a memo. You know what that means, boys...
And no. That's an actual thing and not from The Onion.
(Meme via Disgruntled Decks)
7. You don't actually have to be motivated or give a single sh*t. Just be loud. That's apparently good enough. That's how I made it through my military career.
(Meme via Hooah My Ass Off)
8. It's the thought that counts... right?
(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)
9. Who knew that all the holes we dug as kids helped us learn the basics of establishing a hasty fighting position?
(Meme via Smokepit Fairytales)
10. Napping during the day? Check. Terrible at following orders? Check. Whining about literally anything? Double check.
(Meme via Lost in the Sauce)
11. "Roger, top. There's no other logical reason. Totally."
(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)
12. As tempting as it is, don't toss Gatorade bottles filled with your body fluids at other people.
(Meme via Pop Smoke)
13. It's trash, but it's OUR trash!
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)
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