I know the sh*t has hit the proverbial fan and the world is going through a fairly sh*t time at the moment… But hold the presses because it came to light, via Business Insider, that Gen. James Mattis (Ret.) did some modelling work for a veteran-owned leather jacket company in between his time in the service to his appointment as Secretary of Defense.
Just when you thought the Patron Saint of Chaos could not get any more badass, he can apparently pull off a leather jacket far better than any of us ever could.
After reading that, I just don't know what to do anymore. Anyway, here's some memes while I contemplate whether dropping my stimulus check on that $1,300 jacket would be worth the ire of my wife...
1. Rule number 1 of liberty, dude. “Stay out of prison, the hospital, and the news.”
2. We all know John Paul Jones was the biggest badass of the Revolution, but the real question is, who would you cast as him in what would be the most insane biopic ever?
3. “Why would we give you one? Uncle Sam already gave you a PT belt back in Basic?” – My old commander, probably.
4. Even in these trying times, you gotta do what you gotta do to protect even the Chuck Norris toilet paper.
5. Saying it’s “The way we’ve always done it” does a huge disservice to all the people along the line to say that it’s a stupid idea.
6. The only benefit of the Rower isn’t whatever muscle group it apparently works out. It’s that your team leader should have their face in the ground while you half-ass your way out of PT.
7. We fought in the most highly funded military in the world, with technology unparalleled in human history, to defend the richest nation on the planet and her allies… and all they gave us was a pipe in the ground to piss in… Welcome to my TEDtalk on military spending.
8. Still better than whatever that bagged egg stuff was.
9. Common access card card card card card…
10. Still sounds better than, like, 85% of what’s on the radio nowadays.
11. Everyone knows the numbers are fibbed. If you try any of that “integrity” nonsense, you’re a blue falcon!
12. Suuuuuuuuure… About that…
13. Well. That’s one way to get out of the group chat…
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