In case you missed it, a 59-year old OEF veteran is reenlisting after a nearly ten year break in service. It took about a year to get the waivers and to cut the red tape, but Army regulations still require him to go through Basic Training all over again in June. I mean, that is what it is, but his military record kinda shows even more of how pointless that is...
His story begins when he enlisted in the Marines in '78, got out and became a cop, reenlisted during Desert Storm as an infantryman, stayed in long enough to go to Afghanistan as PSYOPs, got out again to become SWAT, and now he's looking to do it all over again.
I'm just saying - I know that the drill sergeants probably give him the appropriate amount of guff that's required in Basic and understand that his knowledge of previous conflicts can be instrumental to teaching the younger troops. But imagine being that young, dumb trainee who thinks they've got jokes for the "old dude in his platoon" only to learn that he's been kicking in door before their parents were born.
If only to be a fly on that wall... Anyways, here's some memes.
1. "If they go home, that means I have to go home. No. F*ck that" - said every senior enlisted ever
(Meme via Army as F*ck)
2. Gotta pay off that Dodge Charger some how...
(Meme via Vet TV)
3. So it was somewhere between lowest bidder quality and "only used because some congressman took campaign funds from a contracting company"? Sounds about right...
(Meme via United States Veteran Network)
4. If you didn't eat a breakfast MRE next to a 2-ton's exhaust for warmth with everyone else in your platoon chain-smoking around you, did you even serve?
(meme via US Army WTF Moments Memes)
5. Hey! Technically that's exceeding the standard and looks really good as an NCOER bullet!
(Meme via Call for Fire)
6. Existence is pain to a lance corporal.
(Meme via Team Non-Rec)
7. The Army Band members are just bards who can't give anyone 1d6 to their attack rolls.
(Meme via Not CID)
8. "Sure, kid. There's plenty of rare Pokemon for you to catch when you enlist. Just sign right here..."
(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)
9. Ass-whoopings are technically frowned upon nowadays, I guess. But making them do push-ups until you get tired? Totally a loophole.
(Meme via Leatherneck 4 Life)
10. Because the military apparently tells troops things before the news. Or more accurately, apparently the military tells troops things!
(Meme via Valhalla Wear)
11. Note to self: Whenever a sergeant first class asks you to get a PRK-E6, don't respond with "Why? We already got a PRK-E7?" They won't appreciate the snap-back...
(Meme via ASMDSS)
12. "I can totally make it. I can totally ma- F*CK!!!"
(Meme via Pop Smoke)
13. Try not to use multiplication around them. It'll send them into a fury and they'll condemn you for being a witch.
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)
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