(Meme via Pop Smoke)

It seems the Army is planning a system for evaluating the effectiveness of potential battalion commanders with a new five-day program at Fort Knox. That's good news for the staff officers worth their weight in salt, and it's fantastic that they're finally doing away with the all-around ass-kissing that goes on around OER season. It'll also bring the hammer down on commanders who fail height and weight, give them a "leadership test," and bring them in front of a board of officers and non-commissioned officers.

I know my opinion on the matter probably means nothing, but if I may make a suggestion...randomly select NCOs in their unit to give honest feedback - you know, the soldiers most affected by their actions.

You could ask them things like: Are they the type to step on the toes of the sergeant major? Would the candidate for battalion commander literally throw their troops under an actual bus if it meant a bronze star? How many times has Private Snuffy become a heat cat during the speeches they said would be quick yet they kept talking about themselves? You know, the actual things that separate the toxic CO's from the ones that stick with their troops forever.


But that'd make too much sense, and apparently, online tests can determine these things better than troops. Anyways, here are some memes.

1. My hands may be freezing but at least I'm able to carry six packs of cigarettes on me... 

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

2. Accurate pace counts matter, folks. Don't just assume your step is 3 feet like the book says. 

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

3. Don't worry! You'll make minimum wage after about six years!

(Meme via US Army WTF Moments Memes)

4. "You're 24 years old. That's normal for your age and couldn't possibly be service connected."

(Meme via Call for Fire)

5. He's fine. He's just malingering. 

(Meme via Team Non-Rec)

6. Don't body shame me. My body is beautiful. A broken down mess, but still beautiful. 

(Meme via Not CID)

7. The grass can't be greener if it's still just another desert. 

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

8. It's not like the unit will be missing accountability. You know my ass is just going back to the B's until chow time. 

(Meme via The Army's Fckups)

9. Why? Because what it is that my NCO had planned was a fate worse than death. 

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

10. If it did, all E-6's and above at the motor pool wouldn't ever show up. 

(Meme via Air Force Nation & Humor)

11. Bamboozled again! 

(Meme via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

12. "Congrats, Sir. Your five weeks of classes totally prepared you for leading troops into combat! Now go out there and try not to f*ck things up!"

(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)

13. In either case, running won't get you far...

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)