No matter where you look, there's only one thing in the news – COVID-19. And as a comedic military writer, I feel a certain sense of duty to help others by trying to put a smile on the faces of our community in these trying times.

Even as we speak, all five thousand plus service members onboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt are to be tested for the Coronavirus as a precaution and won't allow any sailors to leave while it's docked in Guam. You read that right, folks. No one is going anywhere until the Navy gets its 5,000 seaman samples.


Stay safe out there, you dirty animals. Anyway, here's some memes.

1. All you need is some Rip-Its, Slim Jims and whatever those peach teas were that they always sold, and you can take on the world.

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

2. It’s ill-advised for a Drill Instructor to physically hit someone unless provoked. And, holy sh*t, are they ready for someone to try.

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

3. “Fort Sill. Sh*t. I’m still only in Fort Sill.”

(Meme via US Army WTF Moments)

4. It’s not that hard. Even if you wind up being a Wal-Mart greeter, you can still get called “Essential!”

(Meme via Call for Fire)

5. There’s only one thief in the military. Everyone else is just trying to get their HMVEE back… Totally. Right?

(Meme via Infantry Follow Me)

6. HEY! Leave some for the rest of us!

(Meme via The Army's Fckups)

7. Sure! Because they did so well with our ear-pro…

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

8. Are civilians really that terrified of the National Guard enforcing martial law? You know most of these cats just show up one weekend a month to sweep a motor pool and then leave, right?

(Meme via ASMDSS)

9. Everyone looks at the commo guy like he’s the laziest scumbag ever until they show you proof they really do mess with comms. Unless it was a problem with the distant end. Or COMSEC was bad. Or all of the above.

(Meme via Do You Even Comm, Bro?)

10. “Whelp. Looks like we’re just going to have to take your whole paycheck this month!”

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

11. The real question is why would anyone want to steal one? You can barely do 40 mph without it sounding like the floor is going to fall off.

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

12. No lies Detected.  Lies detected.

(Meme via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

13. Just go to the neighborhood bodega. If they don’t care about healthy codes when they sold you month-old sushi, they won’t give a sh*t about any quarantine.

(Meme via Pop Smoke)