By now you've more than likely heard the news that there was a soldier who fell into the Kilauea volcano. His identity hasn't been made public, and it's probably for the best. What is known is that he ignored all of the railings and safety protocols put in place that normal tourists follow, and then he fell 70 feet into the pit.
Before everyone starts worrying about volcano safety briefs coming soon to your obviously volcano-free installation, just know that the only bit of information that we know of him is that he was an officer. Which makes absolute sense and I'm going to go out on a limb and imply that he was the type of officer who wouldn't go to weekend safety briefs anyways.
Well. The Hawaii County Fire Department chief has said that "He obviously is doing remarkably well for his fall; only time will tell what injuries he has." So knowing that he's not in any grave danger - that opens the door for any and all ridicule! Because it takes a certain type of ASVAB-waiver to commission someone who's willing to look at all of the signs saying it's a freaking volcano and all the railings around said volcano only to say "This selfie will look cool as f*ck on my Instagram!"
Anyways. Here are some memes to help you get over the added section to every single troops' safety brief this weekend about using common sense around active pits of boiling lava.
1. "Joke's on you! I don't even know what 'behoove' means!"
(Meme via Victor Alpha Clothing)
2. I honestly don't get why other troops pretend that terms like "ASAP" or military time are some unique concepts to the military...
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)
3. I can answer that. For money.
(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)
4. Nothing beats watching tracer rounds fly out at night.
(Meme via Smokepit Fairytales)
5. At least your alcohol won't ever leave you for Jodie while you're gone.
(Meme via Da Motor Pool)
6. [Worrying Intensifies]
(Meme via Amuse)
7. Everywhere I-I-I-I gooooo. There's a drill sergeant there...
(Meme via Lost in the Sauce)
8. Even the NCOs with a 2nd grade reading level turn into Rain Man when it comes to zeroing rifles.
(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)
9. Why is this ATM showing me the Uniform Code of Military Justice?... Ahhh crap. Not again...
(Meme via The Black Boot Army)
10. I mean, you can turn something that you got for free, by chance, into a legit profit from the right lower-enlisted troop.
(Meme via Untied Status Marin Crops)
11. Best response to douchey paratroopers? Ask them when the last time they personally jumped into combat.
(Meme via ASMDSS)
12. What has been seen can not be unseen.
(Meme via Pop Smoke)
13. How every promotion board begins.
(Meme via Weapons of Meme Destruction)
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