The two most welcomed smells in the military are coffee and gunpowder, and if you're in the field, you may get both. There are few things that are as satisfying as your favorite cup of Joe when you're on duty in garrison, training, or forward deployed. Nobody wants to be that guy who falls asleep on post — legal consequences aside, it's just downright embarrassing.
Staying alert begins with preparation and tactical knowledge of the endless options vying for our patronage. The brands of coffee we enjoy say a lot about ourselves and what's important to us. When we stand post, looking out into the abyss, reflecting on our lives and why we fight, a warm cup in our hands is a welcomed friend.
1. Black Rifle Coffee Company
Black Rifle Coffee Company is a veteran owned and operated brand that brings a level of professionalism and attention to detail that can only be expected from veterans. While massive corporations will sacrifice quality for profit, this company's quality assurance team will not. Not only do they make a mean brew, but they are also a positive reflection of veterans, successfully assimilating and thriving in the private sector.
2. Cafe Bustelo
Café Bustelo is like a Marine infantry sergeant: aggressive, strong, and possibly foreign. It has a balanced taste, but it will definitely give you the intense energy boost that one needs at zero-wtf. It's small, lightweight, and you can toss it in with the gear. The officers and Staff NCOs aren't going to deny free coffee, either.
3. Folgers, classic roast
Folgers is the brand people love to rag on, but let's be honest here: it's pretty good. Their marketing is even better. There is a 100% chance that when you saw the name, you sang the jingle in your head. "The best part of wakin' up is Folgers in your cup."
Folgers seals its product in airtight plastic containers, ensuring that when you need it, it's still fresh. Plastic containers bring their own benefit to the field because they're water resistant, which is particularly important when it's raining sideways.
The crucial part of the equation, no matter which brand you select, is the water-to-grounds ratio. For every six fluid oz of water, add one tablespoon of coffee — two tablespoons for a strong cup, and three or more if you want to see sound.
Enough coffee will allow you to smell colors, too.
There's a stigma against drinking Starbucks in the military because, in 2004, an email circulated around the internet stating that the company did not support the war or the troops. This rumor has been proven false, but the truth somehow doesn't usually have the same reach of the rumor mill.
Bringing Starbucks to the office or field is a Bootenant move, albeit a delicious one. If you're a staff NCO, you know your role as an advisor to the brass, guide him to more rugged-fix-bayonets coffee when your little booter is ready. Until then, enjoy the Caramel Frappuccinos and other embarrassingly named treats they're willing to share.
It's okay to like sugary things, even if First Sergeant makes fun of you.
(Luke Air Force Base)
5. Good ol' standardized, rust-bucket, gut-rot coffee from Uncle Sam
We live in a society where we can have whatever we want, whenever we want it. We've come a long way, but sometimes that rust-bucket coffee from the mess hall is exactly what the doctor ordered. There were times in Afghanistan when a hot cup of mud after a patrol would hit the spot. Warriors do more with less, they're a hardened breed, and that's why they never take life — or coffee — for granted.
US Marine Corps Private First Class Faris M. Tuohy drinking a cup of coffee aboard a ship off Eniwetok after two days of fighting, Marshall Islands, Feb. 1944
(United States National Archives)
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