MIGHTY CULTURE

This is the only tool you need to be the next Porta-John da Vinci

There are a few hallmarks of the infantry. There's the marksmanship, the ability to read the terrain and predict enemy movements, and the knowledge of tactics and maneuvers.

And, most importantly, there's the ability to turn just about anything into a phallic image.


(Fair warning: In case you couldn't tell, penis drawings are going to be involved in this post. Do not keep scrolling if you don't want to see them. Seriously, you can't possibly be confused as to what comes next.)

Infantrymen draw penises in port-a-potties, they draw penises in the barracks, they draw penises on each other. It's all about the penis drawings.

Sure, infantry training, Marine and Army, lacks a portion dedicated to drawing male genitalia, but it's still traditional. It's an important part of infantry life.

Draw a penis from the side with really small testicles, get a penis with perfect proportions.

And that's where Penint comes in. It's an advanced web app that takes any and all drawings and improves them by turning them into perfectly proportioned penis drawings, just like an infantryman's.

And, the web app works even if you accidentally draw something that isn't a penis. Slip up and draw something weird like a flower? BAM! Penis.

Here's a little flower, short and stout. Here are the testes, here is the spout.

Best of all, you know what happens when you try to create training documents? Maybe you draw a nice, fancy rifle so you can teach the folks in your squad where the upper and lower receivers are.

Haha, you guessed it:

This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, 10 seconds later, it's for fun.

It works for any drawing. It's like a miracle Etch-a-Sketch. You just do your single-line drawing, wait a minute, and you've got a penis.

If a Cav scout is drawing tanks and Bradleys to help remember what they're working with, then they get a happy surprise when they're done: Penises.

You can't change the background color to blue or the foreground color to white, so it's not quite perfect for fighter pilots, but we're sure they could make do somehow.

Might even save some careers. Remember that squadron commander who was fired for drawing penises all over his maps? Now, he has a creative outlet that won't cost him his career. And it's even run through his computer, just like the ones that got him in trouble.

Or how about all the Marine pilots drawing penises in the sky? At least now they can perfectly plan out their routes if they still really insist on flying these problematic paths.

You're welcome.