MUSIC

3 things to keep in mind when dealing with butter bars

As a prior butter bar, I want you to know that I have no regrets about my career choice.


Sure, when I signed up for the military, I thought I was going to get to do a little less paperwork and a little more single handedly saving the entire world from terrorism for all time with my bravery, but hey, we all have our roles to play. Mine was to ensure my people were able to conduct mission ops — and deep down, I know that's important, too.

I was very calculated about which branch I would serve in (Air Force, duh — I'm not a masochist) and how I would earn my commission (on the beaches of Southern California, like a BAMF). We trained on Fridays, and I was super into it (ROTC nerd to an extreme level) so I also attended optional Saturday morning training, which meant I missed out on the collegiate Thirsty Thursday, Friday night parties, and Saturday night shenanigans (because I was tired from all that training, bro).

So it really wasn't until active duty that I realized how much lieutenants could party.

Also read: How to not be a dirtbag CGO

1. They like to have a good time

When we were at intel school at Goodfellow AFB, Texas, we set up a "pub crawl" where everyone served signature drinks from their dorm rooms — everything from a shot of Jeremiah Weed to a game of flip cup to Vodka mixed with Airborne tablets ("to help our immune systems.")

My first Gin and Tonic was consumed in the SCIF while cramming for the Navy test (does one really need to be sober to learn about boats? I mean ships...).

In Korea, the pilots partied so hard I started carrying a sharpie with me so I could make a tic-mark on my palm to track my drinks. Most nights left me waking up with a bar code across my palm.

But beyond the drinking, the butter bars in the office are more likely to liven up the office with pranks and jokes — and let's not forget who keeps the snack bar full.

Related: This musician and veteran invented Jell-O shots to beat base alcohol rules

2. It's not their fault they're n00bs

Butter bars have it great. They have enough training under their belts to feel confident about testing themselves but not enough experience for any serious responsibility. It's a carefree time. The good ones acknowledge their shortcomings and learn quickly. The crappy ones... well, you can read some of their stories in the comments on this post (and add your own — it's hilarious!).

The point is, butter bars are precious. They're bright eyed and ready for a good time. They don't know that the sh*t is about to get real. Look out for them. Show them the way.

3. They're the future brass

Four-stars have to start somewhere, right? Their experiences as CGOs will have an effect on their leadership style down the road, so help them out. Teach them the mission. Remind them of what's important. Show them the value of mutual respect.

They'll remember it later and we'll all be better for it.

And for all you 0-1s out there, work hard before you play hard. You might be at the bottom of the officer ranks now, but you've still got men and women who rely on you.

Oh, when you do just want to have a little fun, here's a playlist for your partying needs (it's okay to admit you like pop songs — you're in safe space):

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