NEWS

Why the Army is trying to stop this St. Patrick's day tradition

St. Patrick's Day has an entirely different meaning in the United States than it does in elsewhere in the world. The actual Irish hold a solemn, religious holiday, while the diaspora of those of Irish descent take the time to celebrate their heritage. Non-Irish Americans celebrate the day for good luck and use it as a perfect excuse to go drinking with the guys.


The city of Savannah, Georgia, however, holds their own St. Patrick's Day celebrations. The river turns green, everyone wears green, and civilian women show their love to the boys in green. Soldiers from nearby Army installations join in on the city's parade and, traditionally, women jump into the formations and kiss on the cheeks of a handsome soldier — leaving a huge, red lipstick mark.

On March 8, 2018, official spokesmen from Fort Stewart and parade chief organizers put an end to the kisses.

Troops from all branches march and get kissed. Which just means the Soldiers will be the only ones left out. (Photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Sean La Marr)

Savannah is an Army town with Hunter Army Airfield, Fort Stewart, Fort Jackson, and Fort Gordon all within a relatively short distance's drive. This is perhaps one of the few times where volunteering for parade duty is worth it. The marching soldiers must keep their composure and remain as stoic as possible while beautiful women kiss them.

The reasons given for ending the tradition are that the "soldiers need to look professional" and that "red lipstick is not part of the uniform." So far, there's been no word on if the green beads the soldiers are given are also too unprofessional.

When was the last time you saw an entire company of highly trained warfighters blush? (Photo by Sgt. William Begley)

Another (more genuine) reason for prohibiting the kisses is safety. Many security concerns are raised in allowing countless spectators to jump the barricades and run up on the troops, even if it's done with literally the best intentions.

A silver lining is that no defined punishment has been set. If a soldier just happens to be marching and a woman just happens to kiss him, the punishment is likely going to simply involve push-ups.

That doesn't sound that bad. You're about to see the happiest any troop has ever been while getting the sh*t smoked out of them.