Humor

7 types of people you meet in a deployed 'tent city'

(Photo by Staff Sgt. Joshua J. Garcia)

You'll never get a more true-to-life snapshot of the other branches than the one you get when you begin your deployment. Everyone from every branch (and occasionally every allied nation) is crammed in together in a transient barracks — also known as a "tent city."

It doesn't matter what type of unit you're in, everyone gets put in the same tents and the results are hilarious. Here's who you'll meet in these temporary towns.


1. The Hyper-POG

There's no shame in claiming an MOS that doesn't operate on the front lines. Your mission is just different and you're out there doing your part, too. The playful rivalry between grunts and non-grunts is a good thing — a little banter back and forth between infantrymen and their radio operators is fun.

And then there're the troops that give the rest of the POGs a bad name. These guys use rolling suitcases instead of duffel bags. They get upset that they're made to drink Green Beans Coffee instead of enjoying Starbucks. They look they haven't done PT since they left Basic. The list goes on...

If you're at a level where someone might accuse you of Stolen Valor while you're deployed in Afghanistan, you might be a hyper-POG.

(Meme via /r/Army)

2. The tired grunts

These transient barracks are used for both incoming personnel and for outbound troops who are more than ready to get the hell out of there.

These grunts just did their time, maybe got extended, and are this close to going home. They are completely out of f*cks to give. Honestly, it's probably best not to mess with these guys. They're likely contemplating mugging the Hyper-POGs who suffered through a "two-beer limit" at Manas Air Base.

Don't expect much from the people who've turned their "however-long and a wake up" into just "a wake up."

(Photo by Cpl. Darien J. Bjorndal)

3. The gullible boots

These guys aren't just the lower enlisted who've spent about two days in the military. This category includes anyone who acts like a boot moments before their first deployment. And man, are they fun to mess with.

They'll ask the dumbest questions. This is when people first hear about the dreaded combat drop and how terrifying camel spiders truly are. To all you gullible folks out there, remember to take these stories with a grain of salt.

It's usually the tired grunts that spread all the hilarious lies. 

(U.S. Marine Corps)

4. The "kinda-but-not-actually-a-regulation" standard bearer

The military is filled with regulations. No doubt about that. If one NCO catches a lower enlisted doing something outside of regs, like walking around with their uniform jacked up, they have every right to call them out.

That being said, every unit is different and plays by different rules when it comes to the little things. One unit may not give a damn if you walk to the showers in sandals while others might. It only becomes a problem when units collide and suddenly you're getting grilled for doing something the way you always have.

Or when Cav Scouts take their stetsons to Afghanistan and wonder why everyone is on their ass for bringing it.

(Photo by Sgt. Richard Sherba)

5. The foreign ally with no professional standard

America's allies also bunk up with our troops in tent cities. The standard bearer is probably losing their sh*t over how things are done by foreign troops.

For example, I've witnessed a foreign ally misplace not one, not two, but three grenades and their assigned weapon in Afghanistan. This was addressed with a casual, "meh, it happens." Meanwhile, every American troop there just looked on in amazement as EOD got involved.

If you thought our POGs were kept to a lower standard...

(Photo by Staff Sgt. Sean K. Harp)

6. The American with no hygeinic standard

Now, let's not pretend American troops are without fault. This one goes out to every single one of the nasty motherf*ckers who thinks that showering is optional. I'd like to express this from the bottom of my heart — not just for me, but for everyone who has ever shared a tent with you: f*ck you.

If this guy doesn't care enough to stay clean for the single week while in transit, then they're probably not going to stay clean for the next 12 months they'll spend with their unit.

If you smell like a burn pit but have never even seen one... Take the hint.

(Photo by Cpl. Alfred V. Lopez)

7. The contractor who won at life

Want to know who everyone really envies on a deployment? The contractors that are out there doing nearly the same mission as most troops, only for a sh*t-ton more money and countless other benefits.

You can't even be mad at the contractors. Most of them are vets who've transitioned from active duty to contractor life. More than likely, they're also probably the happiest people out there. I mean, hell, every vet says they'd kill to go back and these guys are making bank doing it.

Their beards make us even more envious...

(Photo by Senior Airman Cierra Presentado)