After Action Report #1: A Special Forces vet picks his NFL performers of the week

Stats? Projections? F$%k that noise. Numbers can't guarantee wins, but being a badass sure helps. As the 2018 NFL Season enters its second week and fantasy football fans continue to debate the stats, the veterans at We Are The Mighty are taking a different approach to finding the best players across the league.

This past week, our team of self-declared fair-weather fans scouted the NFL to find the players worthy of serving on one the military's most elite units: the Army Special Forces — Operational Detachment Alpha, known exclusively as the "A-Team."

A Special Forces team is full of quiet professionals, each of whom has a set of unique, special skills, ranging from demolitions to weapons to communications. Earning your place on a Special Forces team takes training, time, and a little luck, but it ultimately comes down to one simple question: Can you perform under pressure?

This results-based mentality is exactly the same approach used by NFL players across the league and, in the season's opening week, five players have distinguished themselves worthy of making the inaugural "A Team Report." Some earned this distinguished honor by breaking records while others made the list via sheer, viking-level badassery. Either way, all the players on this week's A-Team Report stepped up when it mattered.

Safety Shawn Williams ejected for unnecessary roughness.

Shawn Williams — Cincinnati Bengals

There's always one member of the team that's willing to run into the fatal funnel without fear of the consequences. Normally, this is a job reserved for the A-Team member with too many deployments under their belt or just loves war way too much.

This craving for violence is exactly the motivation that safety Shawn Williams of the Cincinnati Bengals channeled against Andrew Luck and his Indianapolis Colts. Williams tried to take Andrew Luck's head off in a tackle that would make even the most battle-hardened Green Berets squirm. Williams succeeded in stopping Luck, but not before he was ejected for unnecessary roughness. Williams is the first player to be ejected for a helmet-to-helmet hit this year and may be subject to a fine.

We can't wait to see what other destruction Williams will bring once he's allowed back on the field next week.

Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick's beard is a weapon.

Ryan Fitzpatrick — Tampa Bay Buccaneers

As the 2018 season opened, Ryan Fitzpatrick, a backup quarterback who has been in the league for over decade (13 seasons, to be exact), was fully expected to spend this season on the sidelines. When the Buccaneers first-string quarterback was suspended, Fitzpatrick stepped up.

When Fitzpatrick comes to play, he brings with him a beard that would make even the most seasoned Delta Force operator jealous. The power of the beard is undeniable. It was solely responsible for Fitzpatrick throwing three touchdowns in the Buccaneers' 48-40 win over the New Orleans Saints. Next week, Fitzpatrick, his beard, and the Buccs will take on the Super-Bowl Champs, the Philadelphia Eagles.

Let's hope Fitzpatrick doesn't do anything stupid, like shave.

Adam Vinatieri uses his old-man strength to nail a 57-yard pre-season kick.

Adam Vinatieri — Indianapolis Colts

There is something to be said about old-man strength and, at 45 years and 23 seasons deep, Colts kicker Adam Vinatieri performed like a true warrant officer in his season opener against the Bengals.

Within the Special Forces community, warrant officers are the brunt of numerous old-age jokes, but their experience is often invaluable. Simply, warrants know how to get sh*t done — and so does Vinatieri. Despite the Colt's 23-34 loss, Vinatieri hit 3 of 4 field goal attempts.

Like all warrants, Vinatieri proved that, sometimes, you just have to shut up and kick sh*t.

Tyreek Hill's 91 yard punt return, complete with peace offering.

Tyreek Hill — Kansas City Chiefs

While age brings experience, youth delivers speed and violence of action, which are the hallmarks of any A-Team member. This week, Kansas City Chiefs Wide Receiver/Return Specialist Tyreek Hill certainly brought the speed during a 91-yard kickoff return against the Chargers.

Hill lived up to his nickname, "Cheetah," during the run, but just had to make sure the Chargers defense knew they'd been beat by throwing up a peace sign as he coasted into the endzone. Hill brings a speed and ego to the Chiefs that literally can't be stopped.

What can we say? When you're good, you're good.

Rookie Roquan Smith sacks QB DeShone Kizer during his first play in the NFL

Roquan Smith — Chicago Bears

Rookie Linebacker Roquan Smith came to play in the Bears season opener against the Green Bay Packers, achieving something that should make any fan proud: In literally the first play of his NFL career, Smith sacked Green Bay Quarterback DeShone Kizer, proving that super bowl rings and cheese hats can't stop a motivated linebacker.

We're keeping our eye on Smith this season to see if his actions are a one-time fluke or if he can continue to bring the pain.