Widgets Magazine

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of September 13th

This week marked the 18th anniversary of the September 11th attacks and the beginning of the longest war in American history. Chances are, you've probably had the same conversation with your comrades, coworkers, friends, or whomever about where you were when you heard about the attacks.

Now that it's been 18 years, that means that if you're still in the military, you could now have that same conversation with a young private/airman/seaman and be greeted with the response of, "Oh, I wasn't even born yet!"

Man — now I feel old when I tell people I was skipping some middle school class to play Pokemon on my Gameboy in the bathroom and came back to everyone watching the news. I can honestly say that I've never skipped class since that day.

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The 13 funniest military memes for the week of September 6th

Whelp. According to August's Medical Surveillance Monthly Report submitted by the Pentagon, the Navy is officially the fattest branch of the Department of Defense at a whopping 22% of all sailors being obese. Not "doesn't meet physical requirements" but obese. It's still way below the 39.8% of the national average, according to the CDC, but still.

In case you were wondering, the Air Force is second at 18%, the Army (who usually takes this record) is at just 17%, and the Marines are at 8.3%. To be fair to every other branch, the Marines have the youngest average age of troops despite also taking the record for "most knee and back problems."

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The 13 funniest military memes for the week of August 30th

In case you didn't know, the former Secretary of Defense, Chaos Actual, Gen. James Mattis (ret.) wrote an Op-Ed in the Wall Street Journal and it's just ahead of his memoir covering how he learned leadership from his time as a young buck Lt to his time leading the Pentagon.

Of course, Mattis makes a very in-depth analysis into why America's allies are vital and some insight into his resignation last December - but he also makes a case against the tribalistic political-sphere that seemed to envelope 2019. He's always remained apolitical, despite sitting in the Trump cabinet. The petty squabbling and BS just distracts from the mission.

I know reading lists were sort of his thing - and it'd be kind of awkward for him to put his own book on his own reading list for people to buy and read. So just assume it's on there since I don't think he's even updated it since he was last in the office.

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6 ways military strategy could be used in Classic Warcraft raiding

There's no doubt about it. World of Warcraft is one of the most influential video games ever to hit the market. As a massively multiplayer online role playing game, it let you create a fantasized version of yourself and seamlessly wove you into a living world, filled with quests and ongoing wars.

Warcraft isn't just some "click attack, smash your 1 key" kind of game, either. Every little detail — from gear choices to talent selections to which race you selected back at the start — matters when perfecting your unique character. Though the game has changed dramatically over its 15-year lifetime, if you wanted to get anywhere back in the early days, you needed to think through all the details, down to ensuring that everyone in the raid was wearing the right cloak; that took an insane amount of time.

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The 13 funniest military memes for the week of August 23

According to a recent study by the Better Business Bureau, it seems like troops are more likely than civilians to fall for predatory lending schemes and lemon car frauds. In other news, water is wet.

Okay. In all seriousness. I get it. These are serious scams that have been around since long before I was a young, dumb private. As long as there have been troops leaving their parent's financial safety net and given a taste of real money with little recourse for wasteful spending (i.e. all-inclusive barracks and dining halls,) troops are always going to be troops. And from the bottom of my heart, these f*ckheads who realize this and prey on them regardless are the lowest form of scum.

But can we all stop acting like this is some new discovery? Either let's educate the troops against these sh*tty spots just off post, have the BBB investigate these clowns to the fullest extent, or do something about it. We've all heard the jokes. Sitting around, agreeing that it's f*cked up isn't going to change anything.

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The 13 funniest military memes for the week of August 16th

The Air Force was recently considering a new strategy to its PT tests. In a nutshell, it's going to give any airmen who might fail a PT test a "mulligan" and list the test as a diagnostic instead of a record test. It may possibly be allowed for an airman to list a failed test as off-the-books, but that part isn't set in stone.

The Air Force was surprisingly serious (to the other troops who use phrases like "Chair Force") about failed PT tests and other branches also have a practice test system in place. But I can't help but point out the bad optics on this one.

I mean, I get it. Any notion that the Air Force might someday consider being a fraction more lenient in comparison to the other branches or older vets will cause outrage. On the other hand, I know I would have killed for something like that back in my lower enlisted days...

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The 13 funniest military memes for the week of August 9th

There's no other way to put it. This week was full of horrific events and terrible news.

Yet, in the midst of all the bad that happened this week, there were some rays of goodness. Because that's what memes are supposed to be about - making a joke and putting a smile on someone's face after a sh*tty day.

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The 13 funniest military memes for the week of August 2nd

In a recent study conducted by the Department of Defense and the Sleep Research Society, it turns out that the insomnia rate within troops skyrocketed 650 percent since the 2003 invasion of Iraq. In other news, water is wet.

No. But seriously. This should only be a shock to civilians who're so far removed from what the troops are actually doing. If you're wondering why we have sleep problems, take a look at our regular schedule: wake up at 0430, PT until 0700, work until 1700 (but more likely at 1800,) fill out paperwork or college courses that couldn't have gotten done during work hours for another few hours, maybe some personal time, and eventually sleep around midnight.

That entire cycle is then propped up with copious amounts of coffee and energy drinks. And to no one's surprise, it's obviously the caffeine's problem instead of systemically awful time management skills of most troops.

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The 13 funniest military memes for the week of July 26th

Well. It seems this "acclimatize the troops to Iraq" heat wave is sweeping the globe and I think it's a very proper time to mention the silver bullet is very much real and that sick, sadistic medic in your unit has been dying to test it out.

For those of you who aren't up to speed, it's a shiny thumb-sized thermometer that is brought out specifically for heat casualties and is, well, inserted rectally. Why they do this is beyond me. I would assume the standard under-the-tongue thermometers would work just fine, but I'm not a medic. Although, I guess that one doesn't terrify the troops into drinking plenty of water for the ruck march.

So go ahead, high speed. Try drinking all night and wake up to a Monster energy drink for this run. See what happens. I guarantee you that you won't make this same mistake twice.

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