Not feeling "in the mood" when your partner is trying to get you there. Erectile dysfunction. Sexual dysfunction.

There are a lot of ways to describe it, but there's no denying what it is. For many men, sexuality is tied to masculinity — it's a part of a man's identity — and not getting there can shake a returning veteran's confidence at every level.

Despite all of the pharmaceutical ads that make the issue seem like it's an "old man's problem," it hits younger veterans — even those in their 20s — at an alarming rate. It might not make the best dinnertime conversation, but there's no shame in it. It's a very real problem for veterans of all ages and it's something that you shouldn't avoid discussing with your significant other — or a healthcare professional, at the very least.


This article was created in partnership with hims, a men's wellness brand dedicated to helping guys be the best version of themselves.

There are two primary causes of erectile dysfunction: There's the physiological component that affects blood circulation, preventing it from reaching the right spots at the right moment. This aspect is most common among older men, men who maintain sedentary lifestyles, and those who make unhealthy lifestyle choices — like smoking two packs a day, eating fast food five times a week, and generally avoiding exercise. A gym membership or walking the dog an extra lap around the block can do wonders for that, but that's a conversation best held between you and a medical professional.

The problem that hits many returning veterans is rooted in psychological trauma — and it's an often-neglected side effect of post-traumatic stress. It seems pretty obvious when you think about it, right? Nobody wants to think about sex when their mind is still back in the war.

The loss of confidence in one major aspect could be the catalyst in sending veteran spiraling downwards.

(U.S. Air Force photo illustration by Mauricio Campino)

Follow our logic here for a little more understanding: If you're a veteran, think back to your days at boot camp or basic training. Chances are high that you didn't sport wood a single time during the entire nine weeks. While there, you probably caught wind of some BS rumor about saltpeter being put in the drinking water to prevent it from happening, but the logical side of your brain knew that it was because of the stress you were enduring.

Take that same stress and amplify it by the daily struggles that veterans who live with post-traumatic stress deal with. Of course, the severity of the situation varies. It ranges from just having the occasional "bad night" that a veteran would rather just sleep off to replaying a single tragic moment over and over, like some kind of broken record from Hell.

It's becoming a little easier to understand how common this issue really is among veterans, right?

And, well, if your mind is here... it's not in the bedroom.

(U.S. Army photo by Staff Sgt. Andrew Smith)

Whatever your case, not getting your private to stand at the position of attention really isn't something to be ashamed of. Have an open dialogue with your significant other. Ask for their patience, their understanding, and their help in getting you to relax — foreplay is a two-way street, after all.

If you're still having difficulties, don't be afraid to reach out for help. It's actually an extremely common thing brought up at the VA and there are plenty of treatment options out there.

If you're interested in clinically tested medication, you can try the solutions offered by hims for just $5 for the first month. hims will connect you with US-based, licensed doctors online so that you can find the right solution for you from the comfort and privacy of your own home.

And remember, there actually is a rating for ED that can only be brought up by talking to a medical professional.

(U.S. Navy)

This article was created in partnership with hims, a men's wellness brand dedicated to helping guys be the best version of themselves.