International

5 terrifying things that will happen in North Korea if war broke out

North Korea has finally opened up talks with the outside world. They remained amicable throughout the Pyongyang Winter Olympics and Kim Jong-un recently visited Beijing personally — the first political visit of its kind for the young dictator. Meanwhile, President Trump is preparing for his own visit to North Korea in May. Now, more than ever, it's important to remember what's on the line.


If, god forbid, war were to break out between North Korea and the U.S., it would be on their territory. It's unlikely that they'd risk launching an intercontinental ballistic missile towards American soil, and it's even more unlikely that a launched missile could go the distance (or make it past the massive number of anti-missile sites between). And although North Korea may boast an impressive number of troops, they lack any real transport capability.

Even with those shortfalls in mind, a wartime North Korea wouldn't be an entirely benign entity.

1. They will execute all of their political prisoners.

The world knows what North Korea is doing within their political prisons and North Korea knows what they're doing is wrong. That's why every guard in North Korea is ordered to execute every single one of the hundreds of thousands of political prisoners — to hide any evidence of their wrongdoing.

Unfortunately, North Koreans are sent to a political prison for an insane amount of petty infractions, like not hanging a picture of Kim Jong-il in the living room or coming in contact with western pop culture. Prisoners are also jailed according to the "three generations" rule, which states that punishments can be levied against the children and grandchildren of an offender.

If Americans showed up, some people might face execution because their grandfather got caught watching The Wizard of Oz fifty years ago.

Take it in... This image could get your grandkids killed if you were a North Korean.

(Warner Bros.)

2. Their propaganda would go overboard.

North Korean propaganda is hilarious to Westerners because of the ridiculous claims they make. But to North Koreans, it's no joke. Over generations, people have been made to believe the ludicrous, like the fact that their "supreme leader" doesn't need to poop.

One of their oldest claims is that the "American Imperialist Wolves," as we're known, are going to come and invade. By touching down on North Korean soil, American troops would prove government propaganda correct, giving the regime the credibility to pump out even more outrageous falsities.

Hell, North Koreans think this guy exercises.

(KCNA)

3. Kim loyalists would start a guerrilla war unlike any the world has seen.

The North Korean people have been told for over sixty five years that members of the Kim dynasty are near to gods. Anyone who disagrees has already been executed. Those who remain are the military and the devout.

In a war, there would be almost no working with the locals. Every man, woman, child may be willing to die for their government's twisted cause.

Fighting a conventional war is terrifying enough. Fighting one alongside a cult-like insurgency would be unheard of.

(KCNA)

4. They’ll use their artillery aimed at Seoul.

Even a sports bookie who deals with hopeful Cleveland Browns fans would laugh at anyone who thinks North Korea stands the slightest chance against America. And for good reason: Their military is untrained, their troops are poorly equipped, and their technology is decades behind.

The real reason the U.S. hasn't flexed its muscles since the 1950s is because of the large number of artillery guns pointed south, directly at one of our closest allies, South Korea. This threat has dangled for over sixty years and you can be certain they're itching to pull the string.

The guns may be old, but enough of them could wipe out the 25 million in Seoul in seconds.

(KCNA)

5. They would go out in a blaze of glory.

There's nowhere to go and there's very little chance of winning. Their only support, China, is far more dependant on the United States than it is on them. The majority of their citizens are willing to lay down their lives for their leader — and North Korea knows it.

If they were to truly go up against America, they wouldn't hold anything back. Winning is impossible, so their goal would be to leave as big of a dent on the way out as possible.

On the bright side, Korea would be reunified just like they always wanted... Just not in the way they'd hoped.

(KCNA)