9 lies soldiers tell their loved ones while in combat

Sure, in theory it would be nice to tell loved ones the truth, but there are plenty of times when it’s probably a bad idea. Or maybe the truth doesn’t live up to loved ones’ expectations. Either way, here are 9 lies that usually do the trick:

1. “No, we never go outside the wire.” (or “We go on tons of missions.”)

Lies soldier tell combat zone

Everyone knows the grunts go out constantly, but for support soldiers it’s a crapshoot. Some will go out constantly; some rarely. Oddly, both groups lie about it. Support soldiers who are with infantry their whole deployment will tell their parents they’re staying safely inside the wire. Guys who never leave the wire will tell outlandish stories about combat.

2. “It’s boring here.”

Army lies soldier phone call lie boring no combat

Photo: US Army Sgt. Michael J. MacLeod

This is the combat arms soldier’s version of, “We never go outside the wire.” They can’t convince the family that they’re never going on mission, so instead they tell them that nothing is happening.

3. “They feed us pretty well.”

Army lies soldier phone call lies good food Army food

Photo: US Army Vaughn R. Larson

If the soldier is deployed to a large base like an airfield, this may be true. But if they are further away from large logistics hubs, the food choices become repetitive and aren’t always healthy. The worst is for the guys in the field or living in tiny outposts. They’ll get most of their calories from MREs and the occasional delivery of Girl Scout cookies and maybe fruit. Care packages are valuable on deployment, so send good stuff.

4. “I eat healthy snacks.”

Army lies soldier phone call snacks tobacco energy drinks

Nope. The foods soldiers pick for themselves are worse than the ones in the MREs. Half the time, it’s just tobacco and caffeine. Again, send care packages. Maybe drop some vitamins next to the chips and dip they’re asking for.

5. “I’m learning a lot.”

Army lies soldier phone call college

Everyone has their plan for a deployment, especially cherries on their first trip. Some plan to practice guitar, learn another language, or work on a degree. For most soldiers though, those ideas go out the window when they realize they’ll be working 13 hours or more per day. Still, when they call home, they’ll bring a German phrasebook with them, just to keep up appearances.

6. “I couldn’t call because of all the work.”

Army lies soldier phone call video games

Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Scott Taylor

Though there is a lot of work, it’s not really enough to make phone calls impossible. Sometimes, troops just don’t feel like walking all the way to the morale, welfare, and recreation tent. Other times it’s because the lines for the phones were long and, for once, the lines for video games were short. The phones could have been cut off because of bandwidth issues or a communications blackout. Don’t worry, they’ll hit you up on Facebook when they’re able.

7. “Our rooms aren’t too bad.”

Army lies soldier phone call barracks nice rooms

Like the food, this depends on the base. Some people on big airfields have real rooms they share or a really nice tent. On forward operating bases, the tents get pretty crappy fast. Beyond the FOBs it’s even worse. Soldiers in the most forward positions dig holes in the sand and spread camouflage nets over them.

8. “That’s not machine-gun fire; it’s a jackhammer.”

Army lies soldier phone call mortar

Photo: US Army Pfc. Adrian Muehe

There are variations of this. “That helicopter pilots are just doing some training,” or, “The engineers are just detonating some old munitions.” Anytime a compromising noise makes it through the phone, the soldier will try to explain it away. The soldier knows they aren’t in immediate danger, but they still don’t want their wife to know the base takes a rocket attack every 72 hours. So, they lie about what the noise was and get off the phone before any base alarms go off.

9. “I’m going to pay off my cards and put some money away for retirement.”

In their defense, most soldiers are lying to themselves here. They think they’re going to be responsible, but they come home with tens of thousands of dollars saved and realize they could buy a really nice car. The barracks parking lots fill with Challengers and BMWs in the months after a unit comes home.

TOP ARTICLES
This is how missing or captured troops get promoted

According to the Department of Defense, prisoners of war and those under missing status continue to be considered for promotion along with their contemporaries.

6 reasons Charleston might be America's most gung-ho military city

From Charles Towne Landing to the Medal of Honor Museum, go grab a pint where George Washington drank and read about the military legacy of South Carolina's Atlantic jewel.

This is how long South Korea thinks it will take to conquer the North

South Korea says they are developing new plans to defend against advancing North Korean threats after a data breach left their outdated plans vulnerable.

This stunning video shows how well 100-year-old ammo works today

While original 1911 pistols surely still function today, turns out so does the ammo from that era.

This could be the Army's next rifle — and it's totally awesome

Textron debuted its newest rifle, the Intermediate Case-Telescoped Carbine, at AUSA. It's lighter and more deadly than the current M4.

16 jokes Germans could die for telling under the Nazi regime

The Nazi Party was well short of a majority when it came to power. So it's easy to believe that not everyone was a big fan of Hitler or his ideas.

These really smart people say bigger is better when it comes to building aircraft carriers

In an effort to reduce its fiscal footprint, the Navy is looking at making smaller ships. But these defense researchers say it's a terrible idea.

Now that ISIS is on the ropes, these guys have turned the guns on each other

Two US allies, which were armed and trained by US forces, have turned their weapons on each other, and there isn't much the US can do about it.

This is the definitive history of the world's most advanced fighter jet

The new F-22A Raptor fighter jet is the most advance fighter jet in the world, and it dominates on every level imaginable.

This is how the $102 million B-1A almost replaced the B-52

The plan was to buy 240 B-1As to replace the B-52 as the Air Force's primary strategic bomber, but eventually, they each found their place in the force.