The 13 best insults from military movies

Military movies contain inspiring moments, important messages, and hilarious insults lobbed between troops. Filled with wit, wisdom, and profanity, here are 13 of our favorites.

1. Aliens

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYkxCzBszOQ

“Have you ever been mistaken for a man?”
“No, have you?”

2. Good Morning Vietnam

https://youtu.be/VB1JlHWvRxc

“You are in more dire need of a bl–job than any white man in history.”

3. A Few Good Men

https://youtu.be/vyMggFe9WRQ?t=30s

You see, Danny, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don’t want money, and I don’t want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that f-ggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some f-cking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.”

4. Enemy at the Gates

Enemy-at-the-Gates-Kruschev

Photo: Youtube

Nikita Kruschev while speaking to a commander who has stopped attacking: “I don’t care if you’ve lost half your men. Lose the other half, or lose yourself!”

5. The Dirty Dozen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJJHSsLhE24

“I owe you an apology, colonel. I always thought that you were a cold, unimaginative, tight-lipped officer. But you’re really quite emotional, aren’t you?”

6. A Bridge Too Far

https://youtu.be/iOOcrunnLYE?t=1m40s

“I’ve selected you to lead us, not only because of your extraordinary fighting ability, but also because, in the unlikely event the Germans ever get you, they will assume from your attire that they’ve captured a wretched peasant and immediately send you on your way.”

7. Heartbreak Ridge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O02WseVFBw8

“The Marines are looking for a few good men. Unfortunately, you ain’t it.”

8. Attack!

Aldrich_Attack_movie_trailer_screenshot2

Photo: Wikipedia

Pfc. Bernstein while discussing disliked officers: “When you salute them two, you have to apologize to your arm.”

9. The Caine Mutiny

https://youtu.be/Jw6gwGawbXA?t=3m12s

“If you want to do anything about, I’ll be outside. I’m a lot drunker than you are, so it’ll be a fair fight.”

 10. Saving Private Ryan

https://youtu.be/CbNwY_QFR1A?t=5m23s

“You wouldn’t shoot that Kraut son of a b-tch, now you’re gonna shoot me?”
“He was better than you.”

11. 300

https://youtu.be/514IEcgz1Q8?t=40s

“What makes this woman think she can speak among men?”
“Because only Spartan women give birth to real men.”

12. Full Metal Jacket

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTQAXX08A-s

Obviously, this whole list could be Gunny Hartman quotes, but we just picked a couple of favorites to include.

“Who the f-ck said that? Who’s the slimy, little, communist sh-t, twinkle-toed c–ksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy f–king godmother said it? Out-f–king-standing!” (0:22 in the video above)

“It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!” (2:24 in the video).

“I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!” (3:14)

13. Braveheart

https://youtu.be/s5ryPBbrg3c?t=2m25s

Mooning. It’s the mooning.

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