The 13 funniest memes for the week of July 13th

It looks like the World Cup isn't coming home to England. Such a shame to see the championship match of the sport you claim to have invented go to literally everyone else. Seeing as an estimated seven people from the United States give a damn about the World Cup — give or take six people — we're finding it hard to care.

Meanwhile, American troops are about to do some dumb sh*t this weekend. Not for any particular reason — just that it's a payday weekend and it's Friday the 13th. Remember, if your weekend doesn't involve you making the blotter and having your First Sergeant busting your drunk ass out of the MP station, did you really have a weekend?

No matter what you've got planned, enjoy these memes first.

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6 ways the Integrated Training Exercise feels like a video game

Marines love video games. It's no secret that games like Battlefield had an influence on many of us as we decided to sign up in the first place. Slowly, you'll come realize that life in the military is nothing like video games 99% of the time. But that still leaves that sweet, sweet 1% — which is experienced mostly during the Integrated Training Exercise.

When you're at ITX, your battalion is put to the test to see if they can operate in combat environments. This is the thing that makes or breaks your unit. It's what tells the Marine Corps that you're ready to be sent on cool, important missions during deployment.

There's a lot at stake when your unit arrives at Camp Wilson, make no mistake about that. It's also some of the most fun you'll have while training for a deployment. At times, the experience can feel like you're in a video game. The types of things you do at ITX are the very reason you joined the infantry in the first place — to shoot guns and blow stuff up. This is Battlefield live.

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The government is quiet about plutonium missing for the last year

Enough for at least a dirty bomb.

Two Department of Energy security experts took off to San Antonio in March, 2017. Their mission was to retrieve potentially dangerous nuclear material from a nonprofit research lab. Just to be certain they were getting the goods, they were issued radiation detectors along with a disc of plutonium and a small amount of cesium to calibrate their sensors.

When these two security experts stopped for the night along the 410 beltway, they left the nuclear materials in their rented Ford SUV in a Marriott parking lot that was not in the best neighborhood. The next morning, they were surprised to find the vehicle's windows smashed in and the nuclear materials gone.

The cesium and plutonium were never recovered, according to the Center for Public Integrity.

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6 things in video games that work nothing like real combat

Obviously, video games are nothing like the real world. No one is going to give you 100 gold coins to go clear a bunch of rats out of a dungeon and no one is impressed by your ability to roll on the ground to get places faster.

Where this division between real life and gaming hits the hardest is in the military. Think about it — not once has a recruiter tried to tell you about the "quest reward" that is the GI Bill. On the bright side, there are a lot less people screaming that they've done unspeakable acts to others' mothers — so there's that.

These are six video game tropes that are completely detached from reality.

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The ISIS vs Taliban war in Afghanistan is heating up

Welcoming the 'caliphate' to the 'Graveyard of Empires'

Northern Afghanistan is at risk of falling to the Islamic State. Their latest attack in Sar-e Pul Province killed 15 Taliban fighters at prayer, but it's just the latest in a series of ongoing conflicts that have seen hundred killed on both sides. The ISIS stronghold in Nangarhar Province is pushing westward in an effort to undermine the al-Qaeda-affiliated Taliban there.

All the groups involved in the fighting, including those who support the Ghani government in Kabul, are having the same logistical and intelligence problems faced by anyone fighting in the mountainous country — fighters and civilians switch their allegiances as often as their clothes.

The two terrorist groups are vying for power in the country's eastern and northern regions. The Taliban want to push the Islamic State out of the country before it can establish a clear footprint. In June 2018, the Taliban launched two sweeping offensives in Kunar and Laghman. ISIS, for its part, did not observe the recent three-day ceasefire for the Eid al-Fitr holiday observed by government and Taliban troops.

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History

6 historical weapons that sound like video game cheat codes

Arms races usually take place in a tit-for-tat back and forth. Germany got flamethrowers, so America got trench guns. Russia has more tanks, so America gets the Apache. Sure, the balance of power shifts, but the weapons produced all make logical sense given the context.

Sometimes, however, someone thinks of a weapon or an upgrade that completely shifts the balance of power. These weapons are so out there that it sounds like the responsible nation downloaded some mods to get an edge that nobody could have ever planned for.

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NEWS
Christopher Woody

India is the latest US ally making arms deals with Russia

Despite US efforts to convince other countries not to make deals with Russian defense firms, India's defense minister told US lawmakers in July 2018 that New Delhi will go ahead with its purchase of the Russian-made S-400, one of the most advanced air-defense systems on the market.

"With Russia, we have had a continuous relationship of defence procurement of seven decades. We told the US Congress delegation, which met me in Delhi, that this it is US legislation and not a UN law," Defense Minister Nirmala Sitharaman told the press on July 13, 2018, referring to the US's Countering America's Adversaries Through Sanctions Act, which seeks to prevent foreign deals with Russian defense or intelligence firms.

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History

This is how San Francisco wound up with a self-proclaimed 'emperor'

The United States has been very proud to call itself a constitutional republic that is led by citizen-elected representatives. America is and has been, historically, very much opposed to monarchies. That is, until 1859, when a legitimately crazy guy wrote into a newspaper, proclaiming himself the "Emperor of these United States."

Of course, he had absolutely no legal authority and no one truly believed his claim. In fact, "Emperor" Joshua Norton was actually a homeless man dressed in nice clothes. He ended up being a major tourist attraction for the city, however, so the locals just gave him a collective, "sure, buddy. Whatever you say."

And so, an empire was born.

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GEAR & TECH
Daniel Brown

This is all the aircraft China will bring to its wargame with Russia

China is sending some of its most advanced fighter jets and bombers to Russia in late July 2018 for a major international military exercise.

"The International Army Games 2018, initiated by the Russian Ministry of Defense, will start on July 28, 2018," China's Ministry of Defense said in a press statement last week. "It is co-organized by China, Russia, Belarus, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Armenia, and Iran."

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