7 things you actually miss from deployment

Vets know the feeling. You get back to civilian life or maybe just get a cushy posting stateside where all you have to do is show up from 9 to 5. At first, you love waking up late, working out when you want, and driving a vehicle with an AM/FM/XM radio instead of VHF/UHF.

Then, you get too many notes from the homeowners’ association about the exact distance of the mailbox from the curb. Or maybe a low-level supervisor at work won’t stop calling you into the office to talk about your use of “adult language.”

GoingBackToIraq

Deployed life isn’t easy, but there are some things about life in the sandbox that really is better than life in the U.S. Here are 7 things you probably miss from deployment:

1. Your buddies are always around

Photo: New York Air National Guard Staff Sgt. Christopher S. Muncy

Photo: New York Air National Guard Staff Sgt. Christopher S. Muncy

Want to see a movie with your friends? Just kick their cots to wake them up. Have to go on a long patrol? At least your buds are going to be in the wedge with you.

Of course, it sucks waking up to the one guy who farts in his sleep every two hours. And listening to the pitch-deaf dude who always sings is annoying. Especially when he does it on the radio. During guard shift.

2.  There’s a constant routine

PX Ranger Army lingo soldier jargon

So, we’re patrolling this road again, huh? Alright. Photo: US Army Spc. Elisha Dawkins

While troops complain about the “Groundhog’s Day” effect, it’s sometimes nice to know where you need to be every morning without having to worry about schedules and commutes. You just wake up, slip on a fresh-ish uniform, and walk from the sleeping tent to the office of briefing tent.

Speaking of which …

3. There’s no traffic

Photo: US Army Sgt. Terrance Payton

Photo: US Army Sgt. Terrance Payton

Don’t act like you don’t sit in traffic and miss the days you could just walk to and from work. Well, except those of you who were drivers on deployment. There isn’t a city in America with traffic as uncomfortable as a slow convoy conducted through a dust storm while wearing body armor in the desert heat.

This is especially true when the mechanics are having trouble keeping the air conditioners working with all the dust.

4. Common services are free

Military fitness

U.S. Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Jonathan Wright

When deployed soldiers need to hit the gym, grab some energy drinks or food, or do laundry, that’s all free on the base. On larger bases, there may even be third-country nationals contracted to do the laundry for them.

Of course, the gym is equipped like a prison and the food sucks, but still. You get it for free.

5. You can carry your weapon everywhere and no one thinks it’s weird

Photo: U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. James L. Harper Jr

Photo: U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. James L. Harper Jr

Troops, especially soldiers and Marines, are taught early and often that they are supposed to be carrying their weapon. Sure, it’s something else to clean and carry, but it’s also a comforting presence.

You only need it because of the dudes who want to kill you, but it’s nice to walk around strapped without getting odd looks.

6. You never have to worry about what to wear

Photo: US Marine Corps

Photo: US Marine Corps

If you’re headed to do cardio or hanging out after hitting the showers, wear PTs. Anything else calls for cammies. And that’s the entire wardrobe.

7. Everything is simpler

Photo: US Army Spc. Olanrewaju Akinwunmi

Photo: US Army Spc. Olanrewaju Akinwunmi

Outside of work and making sure to call home on Skype every once in a while, there’s really not much to worry about on deployment. There are no electrical or water bills, no parking tickets, and no homeowners’ associations.

Granted, the work stress is horrible; constant and bone-crushingly horrible. Also, it’s dangerous. And there is the constant drone of the generator and yells of the sergeants major.

Meh, maybe being stateside isn’t so bad after all.

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