14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand - We Are The Mighty
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14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

The Pentagon. That big, awkwardly shaped building that is the epicenter of all military goings-on in our country. Contrary to Hollywood’s portrayal, the Pentagon is not some cool, dimly-lit operations center filled with military folks perpetually in the middle of a life or death operation. Well, I’m sure they have those rooms; I’m just not allowed in them.


No, for the average Pentagon person it’s a really big office building with lots of cipher locks and meeting rooms where policy is laid out and then dissected in excruciating detail, a place where the art of the blind copy on email has no equal. It’s a must tour/assignment for many hoping to advance in their field and, though technically a military installation, it’s miles away from the experience you’ll have when assigned to Ft. Bragg or any other military base.

26,000 people, 17.5 miles of corridors and a rich (and sometimes tragic) history are all a part of what it means to work in “The Building.”

1. When you come off the metro escalator but are not yet in the building.

 

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Regie

 

Some are covered, some are not—it’s a saluting no man’s land where anything goes…until a gung-ho Lieutenant Colonel decides to call you out right before the guard podium because you didn’t salute. Busted.

2. Those hallways, those polished floors.

The burning desire when in the Pentagon early on a Saturday or Sunday morning to run through the halls à la Judd Nelson in “The Breakfast Club” singing “I wanna be an Airborne Ranger!” at the top of your lungs.

3. The mirage of the uniform shop on the fifth deck.

 

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: Youtube

Sometimes you can find it, sometimes you can’t…usually when you are in desperate need of a frog or a new ribbon rack.

4. The old food service versus the new food service. 

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: Wikipedia/Moe

Remember when one Burger King had to feed like 5000 people? 

5. The Escher-like hallways.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Walk the same way every day and at some point you will find your corridor blocked with a temporary wall because of construction.

6. Flight suits in the Pentagon.

I will never get used to this sight; unless they start parking jets and helos in the parking lot.

7. The sweet, sweet freedom of the “no cover, no salute” center courtyard.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: Department of Defense Erin A. Kirk-Cuomo

It’s like we’re all equal!

8. Floor-Ring-Corridor-Room. 

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Essential first-day-in-the-Pentagon guidance.

9. The eeriness of accidentally running into an official tour guide practicing in civilian clothes.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: US Navy Photographer’s Mate 2nd Class Cynthia Z. DeLeon

Because it’s just weird to see a guy walking backwards talking to himself about military history.

10. The planes.

For anyone who was there on September 11th, the inability to ever get over how low the planes fly when taking off from Reagan.

11. Sigh.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: Staff Sgt. Sean K. Harp

The look of defeated resignation on the faces of all those folks who would rather be out to sea/in the field/operational.

12. Your first day, when you saw a four star!

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: Department of Defense Erin A. Kirk-Cuomo

And your last day when you barely register that the SECDEF just chatted you up in the line at Starbucks.

13. Ouch.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: Pentagon Athletic Center

Getting a knee injury from having to lean in on the constant curve when running around the teeny-tiny-itty-bitty track at the Pentagon Athletic Center. How many laps around for the PT test? 45 you say? Okay awesome.

14. Forgetting your ID when going to the Pentagon Athletic Center.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Jay M. Chu

(Cue ominous music). Now walk the 20 miles back to your office space to get it out of your computer; unless those ninja-like CAC police have found it first…

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This article originally appeared at Military.com Copyright 2015. Follow Military.com on Twitter.

Lists

10 food favorites invented by the U.S. military

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand


Anastacia Marx de Salcedo’s new book Combat-Ready Kitchen: How the U.S. Military Shapes the Way You Eat explores how many of the processed foods we buy at the supermarket are prepared using technology and techniques invented by the military to preserve and transport food for troops in battle. To celebrate its release, the author gives us a glimpse into the book’s subject with a list that highlights just a few ways military research affects our daily diet.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Marx de Salcedo’s book dives deep into the subject: she gains access to the DoD’s Combat Feeding Directorate at the U.S. Army Natick Soldier Research, Development and Engineering Center. She explores the research and reflects on the role of processed food in the civilian diet and wonders about its long-term effects on health. It’s an ambitious book: she weaves military history into a discussion of the food industry and modern health policy, all filtered through her own family’s experiences.

1. McRib

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Nooo! Your favorite cyclical McDonald’s treat, the brainchild of the U.S. Army? That’s right. Restructured meat, of which the McRib is an early example, was an outgrowth of a Natick Center program to lower the meat bill by gluing together cheap cuts to look like more expensive ones. The army’s veal, pork, lamb, and beef entrées hit the field in 1976 and were soon served to troops in the new MREs. McDonald’s first used the technology in 1981, but turned it into a tempting baby back shape and amped up the flavor with spices and sauce.

2. Supermarket Bread

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Natural bread goes stale. Supermarket bread doesn’t. What’s the difference? Starch-snacking bacterial enzymes, discovered under a Quartermaster Corps contract with Kansas State College, now University, in the 1950s. The enzymes, like their bacterial host, tolerate the heat of baking, and keep on working for weeks, keeping bread soft and fresh.

3. Cheetos

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Who put the cheese in cheesy snack foods? Until the U.S. military invented full-fat dehydrated cheese during World War II, as part of an effort to reduce weight and volume of food shipments abroad, the nation forlornly munched naked corn chips. After D Day, the cheese dehydrators needed new customers, pronto. They found them in the emerging snack and convenience food manufacturers. Today the tangy orange powder is everywhere—especially your fingers!

4. Energy Bars

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Energy bars are the result of an almost a century-long quest for an emergency ration that was light, compact, and nutritious. They began as a nasty meltless chocolate bar, which became the D ration, produced by Hershey in the 1940s. They then took a detour through freeze-drying, being served in cubes during the 1960s space flights; astronauts claimed they cause nausea and weight loss. Finally, in the mid-1960s, the Natick Soldier Systems Center got inspired—by the Gaines-Burger dog food patty, the first intermediate-moisture food, which meant it stayed soft even when stored at room temperature for months. The first modern energy bar was one of these—although apricot, not hamburger, flavored—and was munched by David Scott on the Apollo 15 flight.

5. TV Dinners

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

The first TV dinners weren’t for dining by the flickering blue light of the boob tube but for bomber crews on long overseas flights during World War II. They were invented by an armed forces contractor, which froze meat, vegetables, and potatoes in a tray. (The microwave, also a military invention, came later to heat these up quickly.)

6. Cling/Saran Wrap

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Cellophane, the only food film available during World War II, allowed moisture in, so edibles got soggy. So the Quartermaster Corps added food packaging to its wish list of everyday items to be replaced with plastics ones from a classified research program at the Polytechnic Institute of Brooklyn. Saran film was developed in collaboration with Dow Chemical,which brought it to consumers as soon as it possibly could, filing a patent for the invention just days after Hitler’s death. The first cling wrap appeared in stores in the 1950s and quickly became a kitchen staple.

7. Refrigerated Guacamole

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

It might not look it, but that creamy, green dip from the supermarket refrigerator case has been crushed by the equivalent of a stack of twenty minivans. High-pressure processing was developed by the Natick Center with a consortium of university and industry contractors in the 1990s. It’s now not only used for rations and your guac, but for fresh-squeezed juices, sauces, preservative-free deli meats and heat-and-serve entrees.

8. Room-temperature Sof Tortillas

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Seem odd that that package of soft tortillas can be left indefinitely in the cupboard? Thanks to hurdle technology, a discovery by a scientist working for the German army, room temperature foods can be preserved with a number of mild barriers to microbial growth instead of a single large dose of chemicals. The Natick Center quickly adapted the technique, first using in its famous poundcake and then moving onto more complex items, such as the three-year, shelf-stable sandwich. Coming up next: pizza!

9. Spices

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Consumers never cottoned up to the army’s largest, longest-running, and most expensive food research program, radiation sterilization. After hundreds of employees, four decades, and $80 million, the only items in our supermarkets routinely zapped with ionizing radiation are herbs and spices, which can harbor deadly pathogens, especially when imported from abroad.

10. Plastic Coolers

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Your beach brews are kept icy cold by a 1950’s Natick Center project to develop cellular polymers, foamed plastics, as building materials. The rigid, strong, and lightweight stuff was quickly incorporated into other uses, including refrigerated containers and insulated food coolers.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Anastacia Marx de Salcedo is a food writer whose work has appeared in Salon, Slate, the Boston Globe, and Gourmet magazine and on PBS and NPR blogs. She’s worked as a public health consultant, news magazine publisher, and public policy researcher. She lives in Boston, MA. Visit AnastaciaMarxdeSalcedo.com.

 

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This article originally appeared at Military.com Copyright 2015. Follow Military.com on Twitter.

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13 old school war movies every young trooper needs to watch

“American Sniper,” “Dunkirk,” and “Fury” are just a few the great war films that have hit theaters with in the last few years. These films help inspire today’s youngsters to consider joining the military.


In the next few decades, they will be remembered as among “The Classics” when it comes to ranking war movies.

But as we move forward, the classic war movies that inspired our past generations are the ones that helped get the modern day war films greenlit. Because of this, we should always recognize and never forget them — ever.

Grab your popcorn and check out our list of classic war films every young trooper should watch.

1. The Great Escape

Steve McQueen stars in this epic WWII film about a group of POWs trying to escape from a German prison camp.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: United Artist/Screenshot)

2. Kelly’s Heroes

Directed by Brian G. Hutton, the film follows a group of American troops who travel deep behind enemy lines to retrieve some Nazi treasure.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

3. Paths of glory

This classic stars Kurt Douglas as Col. Dax, an officer who attempts to defend his troops who are accused of cowardice while fighting in the dangerous trenches of WWI.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: United Artists)

4. Hamburger Hill

Directed by John Irvin, this story depicts one of the bloodiest American battles to take place during the hectic Vietnam War.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: Paramount)

5. Apocalypse Now!

This film is considered one of the greatest movies ever produced. The story follows Capt. Willard’s journey to locate and assassinate a renegade Army colonel during the Vietnam War.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: MGM)

6. The Green Berets

John Wayne plays Col. Mike Kirby, an Army Special Forces officer tasked with two vital missions consisting of building a camp and kidnapping a North Vietnamese General.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: WB)

7. Sands of Iwo Jima

This time John Wayne plays Sgt. John Stryker, a Marine who puts his men through his rough style of training to prepare them to fight in one of the Corps’ most historic battles.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: Paramount)

8. Midway

Directed by Jack Smight, this classic tale re-enacts the American victory at the Battle of Midway — considered one of the most critical turning points in the Pacific during World War II.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: Iniversal)

9. Patton

This 1970 film focuses on the incredible career of Gen. George S. Patton during WWII.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: Fox)

10. To Hell and Back

In this 1955 release, real life war hero Audie Murphy plays himself in the story of how he became one of the most decorated soldiers in U.S. history.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: Universal)

11. The Dirty Dozen

This epic motion picture follows Maj. Reisman, a rebellious soldier assigned to train a dozen convicted murders to carry out a deadly mission to kill multiple German officers.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: MGM/Screenshot)

12. The Fighting Seabees

John Wayne plays Lt. Cmdr. Wedge Donovon, a construction worker building military bases in the Pacific. After they come under fierce attack from Japanese forces, the Seabees have to defend themselves at all costs.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: Republic)

13. The D.I.

Directed and starring Jack Webb, this film follows one of the toughest Marine drill instructors to ever serve on Parris Island as he pushes a recruit platoon through basic training.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
(Source: Mark VII)

Can you think of any other? Comment below.

Articles

7 mysteriously missing body parts of military leaders

When dictators get toppled or governments change, things get chaotic, to say the least. Sometimes a despotic leader gets to escape to Saudi Arabia to live the rest of his life, presumably not eating people.


14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Looking at you, Idi Amin. You know what you did.

Democracies tend to have a more peaceful transfer of power, ones that don’t involve revolutionaries storming buildings and stringing people up. But in any conflict, there is always the chance that something will get lost to history.

I’m willing to bet these seven military leaders didn’t expect to end up as a decoration somewhere.

1. Oliver Cromwell’s Head

Cromwell has been called a lot of things: tyrant, dictator, hero. It all depends on your point of view. When he died in 1658, the state gave the former Lord Protector of England a fine funeral under his son, the new Lord Protector, Richard.

Unfortunately, Richard sucked at his job and the monarchy was restored. The new king, Charles II put everyone who killed his father, King Charles I, on trial immediately, with no exceptions. This included Oliver Cromwell’s corpse.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Beat that, Game of Thrones.

Cromwell’s dead body unsurprisingly stayed silent on his guilt or innocence, was pronounced guilty, and hanged. He was then beheaded and the head put on a spike outside Parliament.

For like, 20 years.

In 1685, a storm blew the spike down, and sent the head flying into Parliament Square. It was picked up by guard who secretly took it home to sell it for cash. Instead, he got cold feet and hid it in the chimney until the day he died.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
No, this is not another stupid Jeff Dunham bit.

To make a long story short, the head was sold from collector to collector for a full 301 years before it was reburied in Cambridge.

2. Napoleon Bonaparte’s Penis

In 2007, Evan Lattimer’s father died. From him, she inherited Napoleon Bonaparte’s penis even though the French government swears the little corporal is not that of the Emperor.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Napoleon or not, someone’s penis is missing.

In 1821, he died in exile on the island of St. Helena and while the British weren’t watching, the Corsican conducting Napoleon’s autopsy cut off a few pieces for some reason.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

It traveled around the world for decades, eventually ending up under the bed of American urologist John Kingsley Lattimer, who put it there and seldom showed anyone because “Dad believed that urology should be proper and decent and not a joke.”

3. Benito Mussolini’s Leg and Brain

Mussolini met a pretty ignominious end during WWII. He was captured by Italian anti-Fascist partisans, beaten and then strung up by his feet. The U.S. Army ordered the bodies taken down and eventually placed Il Duce in la tomba.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
I hope they buried his fashion sense with him.

His unmarked grave was found by three young fascists who dug him up and took the body from place to place, eventually ending up in a monastery near Milan. By the time his body was found, it was missing a leg. The legless body was interred in his family crypt in Predappio.

The fun doesn’t stop there. While the body was in American custody, an autopsy was performed on the dictator’s brain. The Americans took half of the brain in an attempt to study what makes a dictator, returning it in 1966.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Can you imagine the shipping costs for a head that size?

Every now and again, however, vials pop up on eBay, claiming to be the Italian’s remains. His leg was never found.

4. King Badu Bonsu’s Head

Dutch colonists in what is today called Ghana got pretty pissed when the Chief of the local Ahanta tribe killed two Dutch messengers, cut their heads off, and put them on his throne.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Kinda like that, but with severed heads.

The Dutch, slightly miffed at having their citizens used as decoration, responded the way most colonizers would – with a punitive expedition. They captured Badu Bonsu and lopped off his head. This time, instead of putting it on a chair, they put it in a jar. Of formaldehyde.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
He looks thrilled about it.

Fast forward two hundred years later, the Netherlands have gracefully decided to give the old man’s head back to his home country. You might think the people who happened to be carrying around the pickled head of an African chief might keep track of it but no. It was found locked in a closet where it had presumably been for 170 years.

5. Che Guevara’s Hair

The Cuban revolutionary met his end in Bolivia in 1967, executed by Bolivian forces. His hands were cut off as proof and his body was thrown into an unmarked grave. But, like the people who surrounded Napoleon after his death, someone with access to Guevara’s body decided to take home a souvenir.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

The person who happened to be present and bury Guevara was also a CIA spook. He kept a scrapbook that included photos, documents, fingerprints, and a lock of Guevara’s hair. In 2007, it was all sold at auction for $100,000.

6. Geronimo’s Skull

In 2009, native tribes sued the Yale University secret society known as the Order of Skull and Bones. They alleged the group had the skull of Apache leader Geronimo on display in the clubhouse. And the Apaches wanted it back.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
There’s a lot of things Native Americans probably want back.

Geronimo died as a POW at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, in 1909. A Skull and Bones legend says Prescott Bush, father of George H.W. Bush and grandfather to George W. Bush, dug up the Apache’s body and stole the skull and other bones. He then brought it to the clubhouse in New Haven, Connecticut.

7. Thomas Paine’s Entire Body

Unlike everyone else on this list whose head or skull was stolen after death, Thomas Paine’s good friend John Jarvis was already thinking about getting his hands on the famous patriot’s noggin. Paine, of course, asked Jarvis to leave his bones the hell alone. When Paine died in 1809, they did just that. For a while. Somebody dug his body up ten years later.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Since Paine died a drunk in New York, very few people were present for his funeral. Wanting to give Paine a proper burial, newspaper editor William Cobbett and some friends exhumed Paine with the intent of moving his body to England.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

The only problem happened when the body got to England – Cobbett couldn’t afford the burial. The old editor stashed the remains in his attic, where Tom Paine remained until Cobbett died. After that, no one knows what happened to the Revolutionary author.

Lists

6 ‘first-world problem’ complaints about military life

Quality of life has come a long way since soldiers fought to avoid trench foot in World War I. But that doesn’t mean the 21st Century military isn’t without significant issues. Here are a few of them:


1. ‘Why can’t we get the proper proteins!?’

 

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: Reddit.com/Ryanbuddy04

This writer sacrifices his breakfast meats for a measly extra egg, but the DFAC is too stingy to give it to him. And he’s not the only one having issues. Other redditors jumped in as well.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: reddit screenshot
14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: reddit screenshot

 

2. ‘Brown underwear and green socks are lame, free immunizations suck.’

This post is too long to share here, but a reddit user wanted to let the world know what he hated about the Army as he got out and included, among 80 other items, the free underwear and socks the Army issued him. Granted, they’re ugly, but no one wears the brown underwear after basic and the green socks are only worn in garrison. Other targets of Ballsteintheimpailer‘s wrath include cadences, anyone who outranks him, and free medical.

3. ‘Barracks soldiers should be able to drink like married soldiers.’

A male soldier,roman_fyseek, hadn’t been at Fort Drum long when he was caught passed out drunk in a bed with a female soldier. Word of his infractions climbed the chain, and he found himself in front of the battalion commander. The intrepid soldier told the commander that it’s crap that he can’t get blackout drunk with another soldier but married soldiers can pass out with their wives.

Shockingly, this supposedly worked. The battalion commander elevated it to the base commander. The base commander talked to the soldier, increased the alcohol limits in the barracks, and allowed troops to decorate their own rooms.

4. ‘Buying magazines and paying into charity are for suckers.’

No, the unit isn’t supposed to force members to order magazines; and yes, troops can refuse to pay into charitable funds. Unit commands usually “highly encourage” charitable contributions, unit t-shirt purchases, and purchase of a reading list. IG_complaint (actual username) was having none of it and took to reddit to request help.

Other users recommended he lodge a complaint with the inspector general, though it seems like he probably knew that was an option already.

5. ‘The Oath of Enlistment is offensive and unconstitutional so Congress is a domestic enemy.’

Publius1775 really, really wants religion struck from the face of the earth, starting with the words, “So help me God,” in the Oath of Enlistment. He’s so passionate about it that he declared Congress a domestic enemy of the state.

His complaint comes a little late since the Air Force was the only service that still required the words, “So help me God,” and they dropped the requirement ten days after this man mailed his letter to the president, the service secretaries, and the Department of Defense inspector general. (The two events were probably not connected.)

6. ‘Military bases suck, mostly because of mosquitoes.’

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: reddit screenshot

When these service members got together to complain about bases, the mosquitoes came up a surprising number of times. Fort Polk got the worst complaints despite the fact that they have a Waffle House. Cannon Air Force Base, New Mexico; Twentynine Palms, California; and Fort Knox, Kentucky were all drug through the mud as well.

NOW: The 7 funniest Yelp reviews for military bases

AND: 9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

Articles

Here are the best military photos of the week

The military has very talented photographers in the ranks, and they constantly attempt to capture what life as a service member is like during training and at war. Here are the best military photos of the week:


AIR FORCE:

U.S. Air National Guard Senior Airman Jeremy Johnson, 138th Aircraft Maintenance Squadron, Tulsa, OK, performs routine maintenance on an F-16’s critical components, Oct. 27, 2016.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
U.S. Air National Guard photo by Tech. Sgt. Drew A. Egnoske

A New York Air National Guard HC-130 Combat King II assigned to the 102nd Rescue Squadron lands on a dirt landing strip at Fort Polk, La., during Southern Strike 17, Oct. 27, 2016. SSTK 17 is a total force, multi-service training exercise hosted by the Mississippi Air National Guard’s Combat Readiness Training Center in Gulfport, Miss., from Oct. 24 through Nov. 4, 2016. The exercise emphasizes air-to-air, air-to-ground and special operations forces training opportunities. These events are integrated into demanding hostile and asymmetric scenarios with actions from specialized ground forces and combat and mobility air forces.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Trevor T. McBride

ARMY:

Soldiers from 1st Attack Reconnaissance Battalion, 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade’s armament team, load ammunition and fuel at the forward rearming and refueling point before AH-64D Apaches conduct an aerial gunnery exercise, at Fort A.P. Hill, Va., Oct. 26.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Steven Galimore

U.S. Army Paratroopers Spc. Jordan Myer (Left) and Pfc. Justin Gilbert (Right) assigned to Chosen Company, 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, 173rd Airborne Brigade, firing rounds for training during exercise Silver Arrow Oct. 27, 2016, in Adazi, Latvia. The U.S. Army is participating in exercise Silver Arrow. Silver Arrow is a two-week long Latvian led exercise, which joins foreign Armed Forces units, in order to develop relationships and leverage Allied and partner nation capabilities preserving peace through strength. The exercise is part of Operation Atlantic Resolve, a U.S. lead effort being conducted in Eastern Europe to demonstrate U.S. commitment to the collective security of NATO and dedication to enduring peace and stability in the region.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
U.S. Army photo by Pfc. James Dutkavich

NAVY:

Petty Officer 3rd Class (AW) India Campbell fires a .50-caliber machine gun during a live-fire exercise on the fantail of the Navy’s only forward-deployed aircraft carrier, USS Ronald Reagan (CVN 76). The live-fire exercise provided Weapons Department and Security Department personnel with small-arms proficiency training for the .50-caliber and M240B machine guns. Ronald Reagan, the Carrier Strike Group Five flagship, is on patrol supporting security and stability in the Indo-Asia-Pacific region.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
U.S. Navy photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Nathan Burke

Members of Explosive Ordnance Disposal Mobile Unit (EODMU) 5, Platoon 503, embarked aboard USS Ronald Reagan (CVN 76), descend a rope from an MH-60S Sea Hawk helicopter, assigned to the “Golden Falcons” of Helicopter Sea Combat Squadron (HSC) 12, onto the flight deck of the forward-deployed Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyer USS Barry (DDG 52) during a fast-rope and helicopter, visit, board, search and seizure (HVBSS) exercise. Barry is on patrol with Carrier Strike Group Five (CSG 5) in the Philippine Sea supporting security and stability in the Indo-Asia-Pacific region.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
U.S. Navy photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Kevin V. Cunningham

MARINE CORPS:

Marines assigned to Bravo Battery,”Black Sheep,” 1st Battalion 12th Marine Regiment, dig holes to support the recoil of an M777A2 Howitzer during a direct fire training exercise, part of Lava Viper 17.1, at Range 13 aboard the Pohakuloa Training Area, on the big Island of Hawaii, Oct. 16, 2016. Lava Viper is an annual combined arms training exercise that integrates ground elements such as infantry and logistics, with indirect fire from artillery units as well as air support from the aviation element.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Ricky S. Gomez

Three MV-22B Osprey tiltrotor aircraft with Marine Medium Tiltrotor Squadron 262, 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit, fly west above the Pacific Ocean during scheduled flight operations after departing USS Bonhomme Richard (LHD 6), Sept. 26, 2016. VMM-262 is the Aviation Combat Element for the 31st MEU, and features a variety of fixed-wing, rotary-wing, and tiltrotor aircraft.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
U.S. Marine Corps photo by Staff Sgt. T. T. Parish

COAST GUARD:

Coast Guard Cutter Ocracoke sits at the pier at Naval Station Newport as the sun sets on Oct. 25, 2016, during the Coast Guard 1st District Cutter Roundup held in Newport, Rhode Island. The Ocracoke is an 87-foot patrol boat based in South Portland, Maine.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
U.S. Coast Guard photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Steve Strohmaier

Coast Guard cuttermen from units across the First District train in The Damage Control Wet Trainer “Buttercup” in Newport, Rhode Island, Monday. Oct. 24, 2016. The junior enlisted crewmembers were together in Newport for a Cutter Roundup, a week-long event to unite, train, and prepare the First District’s cutter fleet.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
U.S. Coast Guard photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Cynthia Oldham

Articles

6 reasons why veterans would gear up and head back to war

As veterans, we’ve all thought about signing back up at one time or another. But what would it take to truly get us back in uniform, to don all that heavy gear and take the fight to the enemy as we’ve always done?


Though we all have to take into consideration all the formations, bull-sh*t we receive from the chain of command — and let’s not forget all those wonderful uniform inspections. Everyone loves those.

With all the crap that comes with serving, many veterans still miss some aspects of military life.

Let’s gear up and go to war! (Images via Giphy)

Check out our reasons why we would gear back up to take on the bad guys.

1. If another major terrorist attack happens

The Sept. 11 attacks stirred up patriotism in millions of Americans, and some joined the military during that period just to get a little revenge.

I represent ‘Merica! (Image via Giphy)

2. For a huge bonus check

Everyone wants to line their pockets with extra beer money.

And a case of beer! (Image via Giphy)

3. If your military family went as well

The military brother and sisterhood have a very tight bond, you f*ck with one brother or sister — you f*ck with whole while family.

You said it girl. (Image via Giphy)

4. If you just couldn’t find a good enough job that suits you

Because office work just didn’t satisfy that inner combat operator in you.

These guys were all former snipers. True story. (Image via Giphy)

5. To feel that combat adrenaline rush again

Shooting and blowing up the bad guys makes an operator feel great about themselves. It’s a morale booster.

He nailed every shot too. He’s that good. (Image via Giphy)

6. To get some adventure

Post-military life is hard to adjust too. Sometimes you just want to leave the homeland and get back into the sh*t.

Can we go with you? (Images via Giphy)To all of our military family already forward deployed — we salute you.

Can you think of any more reasons to throw those cammies back on? Comment below.

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8 of the best things about a combat deployment

Being deployed in combat has its fair share of ups and downs. Things can be very dull one minute, then quickly turn south the next.


Although deployed service members work seven days a week, there are few things we get a kick out of that most people will never see or understand.

Related: 7 best ways to pass time on a combat deployment

So, check out eight of the best things about a combat deployment.

1. The crazy excitement after getting into your first victorious firefight.

We trained for several months in some pretty hectic places, but it all seems worth it when your squad works together and takes down the bad guys the first time. That feeling is freakin’ motivating.

2. Blowing up the bad guys with mortars.

Sometimes, the enemy thinks they’re slick since you’re on their home turf. F*ck that!

No matter where you’re at in the world, once a grunt unit learns of an enemy position and calls in for mortars, it’s game over for the bad guys.

3. Calling home for the first time after combat.

Hearing the supportive voices of friends and family back home can restore lost morale in a matter of moments.

4. Hearing the legendary BRRT of an A-10 during a “gun run.”

There’s nothing like hearing the sounds of an A-10’s powerful cannons raining down hot lead onto the enemy’s position when you finally get “air-on-station.”

5. Every mail call.

Frequently, we run out of beef jerky, baby wipes, and fresh socks. So, once your name is called out and you’re given a large care package of goodies? That feeling is epic.

6. Making it back to the FOB with nobody hurt.

Every time we leave the wire, it’s impossible to predict who isn’t coming back.

So, after you return to the safer confines of your FOB, it’s okay to finally exhale the anxiety out of your chest — your military family is okay.

7. Building an unbreakable brotherhood with your boys during combat.

That is all.

Also Read: 14 images that humorously recall your first firefight

8. Coming home.

Hugging your family — who supported you throughout the long deployment — is an incredible feeling.

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

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10 incredible Post-9/11 combat medics who risked their lives to save others

In the field, everyone is working to ensure that nothing goes wrong. But, when the mission goes sideways, everyone thanks the heavens for the medic. The one who rushes through fire to save their patients.


Here are 10 medics who saw patients in danger and rushed to their aid, sometimes sustaining serious wounds or even dying in their attempt to save others.

1. Ranger platoon medic treats patients while enduring repeated IED blasts

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: US Army Patrick Albright

Spc. Bryan C. Anderson was part of an Army Ranger assault force sent after a high-value target in Kandahar Province, Afghanistan on Oct. 5, 2013. When the team landed, an insurgent successfully fled the target building and began running away. An element of soldiers moved to catch him but they were struck by a suicide bomber and triggered two pressure plate IEDs.

Anderson rushed to the aid of the wounded even though he knew they were in the middle of a pressure plate IED belt. Over the next few hours, Anderson crisscrossed the IED belt treating the wounded. During a particularly harrowing 30 minutes, seven IEDs detonated within 10 meters of Anderson, according to his official award citation. Though some of his patients from that night died, two severely injured Rangers survived because Anderson continued rendering aid despite experiencing his own traumatic brain injuries. Anderson was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross.

2. Corpsman riddled with shrapnel pulls 4 injured comrades from vehicle while under fire

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: US Marine Corp Mike Garcia

During an American-Afghan convoy, Hospital Corpsman 1st Class Benny Flores was in a vehicle struck by an IED. Despite having his own shrapnel injuries and taking incoming enemy fire, Flores began treatment of a Marine in his vehicle and then aided the Marine in taking cover. He ferried to and from the vehicle three more times, treating and moving to cover a wounded Afghan police officer and two more Marines, all while under enemy fire and without receiving treatment for his own wounds. Flores received the Silver Star.

3. Pararescueman drops into IED field to save Army Pathfinders

On May 26, 2011, a squad of U.S. Army pathfinders was crippled when it struck multiple IEDs during a mission. Air Force Staff Sgt. Thomas H. Culpepper, Jr. was voluntarily hoisted down to the battlefield only 25 meters from a known IED. Culpepper and his teammate stabilized the pathfinders and then began hoisting them into the helicopter. On the last lift, Culpepper and the final patient were nearly dropped from the helicopter when it experienced a sudden loss of power.

They were recovered into the bird and Culpepper received the Distinguished Flying Cross.

4. Corpsman continues treating casualties after being shot in the back

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: US Marine Corps Sgt. Scott A. Achtemeier

On April 25, 2013, Hospital Corpsman 2nd Class Kevin D. Baskin was part of a Marine task force pinned down by enemy fire outside Kushe Village, Afghanistan. Baskin treated an initial casualty under heavy fire and then moved him to a casualty evacuation vehicle. Immediately afterwards, Baskin was shot in the back. He continued to treat new casualties and refused medical treatment for his own. He supervised the evacuation of the wounded and laid down cover fire for the evacuation of the team. His actions were credited with saving the lives of four Marines and he was awarded the Silver Star.

5. Medic bounds up to wounded casualties under fire, then treats them until he dies of his own wounds

On March 29, 2011, a group of soldiers with the 101st Airborne Division were clearing a known insurgent strong point when they came under a complex ambush from enemy fire. Three members of the lead element were injured immediately. Spc. Jameson L. Lindskog bounded from the rear of the element to the troops in contact while under fire so heavy that the bullets destroyed cover whenever he moved behind it.

Lindskog triaged the casualties and began treatment. While working on an Afghan National Army soldier, Lindskog was struck in the chest by an enemy round. He remained lucid and refused treatment, asking to stay on the battlefield and give instructions to those rendering aid. His instructions saved the lives of two other men, but he died of his wounds before being evacuated. He was posthumously awarded the Silver Star.

6. Pararescue jumper treats nine casualties by moonlight while under withering enemy fire

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: US Air Force Justin Connaher

The 101st Airborne called for support during an operation after they took two casualties on Nov. 14, 2010. Air Force Para rescue jumper Master Sgt. Roger D. Sparks was on the response team. His helicopter arrived and was circling the objective when the situation on the ground suddenly intensified and the 101st took four new casualties. Sparks and another airman began a 40-foot descent to the battlefield below despite the increased enemy activity.

While descending, they came under intense enemy fire and their lowering cable was struck three times by bullets. Immediately after landing, the pair was attacked with an RPG round that knocked them both from their feet. Running across the objective while under increasing machine gun and RPG fire, Sparks treated nine wounded soldiers by moonlight, many with serious problems like punctured lungs, eviscerations, and arterial bleedings. He returned to the landing area but stayed on the ground, coordinating the evacuation until the last soldier was loaded. His actions saved five lives and resulted in the remains of four Americans making it back to their families. He was awarded the Silver Star.

7. Medic shields casualties from mortar fire until forced to move, continues treatment throughout

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: US Army Pfc. Scott Davis

Spc. Monica Lin Brown was an airborne medic on a combat patrol in Afghanistan on April 25, 2007, when an up-armored Humvee struck an IED. The IED was the first part of a complex ambush on the column. Brown moved 300 meters under enemy fire to the burning vehicle and began caring for the wounded. She triaged them onsite and then moved them with the help of the platoon sergeant into a nearby wadi. She continued to render aid and used her own body as a shield while 15 enemy mortar rounds landed within 100 meters of her position.

The mortar fire eventually forced her to move the wounded two more times as she continued treating and shielding them. The wounded men were eventually medically evacuated and Brown was awarded the Silver Star.

8. Medic dies after treating casualties under ‘barrage of RPG fire’

On Nov. 12, 2010, Spc. Shannon Chihuahua was part of a blocking position in Kunar Province, Afghanistan. A squad providing overwatch suddenly came under a complex enemy attack with small arms, machine guns, and RPGs. Chihuahua ran from a relatively safe position into the heat of the fighting to treat the wounded.

Moving from soldier to soldier providing care, Chihuahua eventually found himself the focus of the enemies’ attacks. Chihuahua went down under a “barrage of RPG fire,” according to Sgt. Kevin Garrison, the squad leader whose position was the focus of the first attack. Chihuahua was awarded the Silver Star.

9. Stryker medic pulls three casualties from a burning Bradley

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Spc. Christopher Waiters makes his first attempt to enter a burning Bradley Infantry Fighting Vehicle on April 5, 2007 in Iraq. Photo: US Army

Staff Sgt. Christopher Bernard Waiters was the senior medic in his Stryker company when a Bradley Fighting Vehicle struck an IED and began to burn with its crew still inside on April 5, 2007. He parked his vehicle in a security position and immediately engaged two enemy fighters.

He then ran to the burning Bradley on his own and pulled the driver and vehicle commander out. He treated both and escorted them back to his own Stryker. That was when he learned another soldier was in the troop compartment. He ran back and entered the burning vehicle, falling back only for a moment when the 25-mm ammunition began to explode. He re-entered, saw the deceased soldier and went for a body bag. Another medic retrieved the body while Waiters drove the wounded back for further treatment.

10. Medical sergeant performs surgery in the open while under fire

As the medical sergeant on a civil affairs team, Staff Sgt. Michael P. Pate was part of a patrol in Afghanistan. The group came under heavy fire from multiple machine gun positions and at least six other enemy shooters. Early in the ensuing firefight, the rear man of the element was shot in the back. Pate and his team leader rushed to the man and drove him to what little cover was available, a six-inch deep ditch. Though his patient was slightly covered, Pate was fully exposed as he performed surgical interventions on the wounded man. During this time, Pate also assisted the joint-terminal attack controller with directing airstrikes and coordinated the medical evacuation for the wounded. He was awarded the Silver Star.

NOW: Medal of Honor: Meet the 16 heroes of Iraq and Afghanistan who received the nation’s highest honor

OR: This female vet is one of history’s most decorated combat photographers

Lists

5 of the best knife fights in film, ranked

Moviegoers across the nation love to get a fresh bucket of popcorn and sit down in front of the big screen to watch a well-crafted action film. With so many cool explosions and witty one-liners, there’s only one thing left to take a movie from great to legendary: an epic knife fight.


From a directorial standpoint, capturing an excellent knife fight on film is both dangerous and difficult, but the following movies managed to pull off the impressive feat in unique ways.

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‘Crocodile Dundee’

In 1986, New York City got its first taste of the knife-wielding, Aussie bushman, Michael J. ‘Crocodile’ Dundee. The character from down under was a huge blockbuster for Paramount Pictures and featured one of the funniest almost-knife fights to ever hit the big screen.

In a knife-measuring contest, Dundee’s unveils his monster blade and dwarfs the tiny switchblade brandished by thugs who wanted his wallet. Unfortunately for the muggers, the Aussie’s steel was far too fierce.

It may not be the most action-packed knife fight, but it’s f*cking hilarious. Who could forget this line?

“That’s not a knife, this is a knife.” — Dundee

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‘Timecop’

It’s safe to say that Jean-Claude Van Damme was one of Hollywood’s biggest action stars. Known for his cinematic helicopter kicks, Van Damme takes on a bunch of murderous thugs in his living room while sporting nothing but his undies.

In attempts to avenge the murder of his wife, the Belgian martial artist travels through time to try and rewrite history, defeating all the bad guys along the way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhqRjQBxEqo

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‘Kill Bill: Volume 1’

When moviegoers show up to the cinemas to watch a Tarantino film, they know they’re in for some witty dialogue and a sh*t-ton of F-bombs. When they showed up to watch Kill Bill: Volume 1, they got just that — and a whole lot of action. In this scene, our protagonist goes up against an old enemy and the two immediately draw steel. Uma Thurman and Vivica A. Fox put on a dazzling display — until they’re interrupted by a four-year-old girl.

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‘Under Siege’

Although 1992’s Under Siege, starring Steven Seagal, defies many of the real-life attributes of life in the Navy, it does showcase a pretty cool knife fight that you wouldn’t have expected out of acclaimed actor Tommy Lee Jones. Seagal and Jones go toe-to-toe, pitting a real-life Aikido expert up against a talented actor in one of the best knife-fight scenes ever to take place on a Navy vessel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcnenDZNm8c

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‘The Hunted’

Tommy Lee Jones takes the two top spots on this list — who would’ve thought this veteran actor was so freakin’ talented with a blade? In 2003, William Friedkin brought The Hunted to the big screen, which follows an FBI tracker (played by Jones) as he sets out to capture a trained assassin (played by Benicio Del Toro), who’s made a sport out of killing humans.

The film features some pretty epic knife fights and showcases some interesting human-tracking skills.

Articles

6 Tips For Being The Perfect Wingman

 


14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Dating in the military is tough. There are rules against fraternization: no dating within your unit, no public displays of affection, and no dating of subordinate. On top of all of these rules, troops work long hours and have myriad duty responsibilities, so there’s very little time to get off base and meet someone.

So when liberty arrives, service members have to maximize their chances. This is where the a good wingman can come in handy.

Also Read: 13 Tips For Dating On A US Navy Ship

Being the perfect wingman is more than just accompanying your buddy for a night out in town. It takes dedication, humility, and a sixth sense. Here are six tips for being the perfect wingman:

1. Never let your buddy feel stupid.

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Your job is to keep your buddy feeling good about himself no matter what.

2. Know when to bail your buddy from danger.

You do whatever it takes to save your buddy from making a mistake.

3. Never outshine your buddy.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: wing-manning.tumblr.com

Remember, you’re the wingman, not the lead. Your job is to play the support role.

4. Know when to give your buddy space.

Here’s where the sixth sense comes into play.

5. If he or she is happy, you’re happy.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand
Photo: Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Zachary S. Welch/US Navy

You stand back and keep an eye on your buddy the remainder of the night.

6. Be there if your buddy happens to crash and burn.

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Learn from your buddy. Next time, it’s his or her turn to be the wingman.

NOW: 5 Signs You’ve Been In The Barracks Way Too Long

OR: 17 Signs That You Might Be A Military Aviator

Lists

7 of the greatest guerrilla fighters in American history

America often fights wars as the big, bad empire with all the fancy toys and weapons. But U.S. troops haven’t always enjoyed the technological advantage. So, sometimes military leaders have turned to guerrilla tactics to keep the enemy off balance until a more conventional force can pin them down and defeat them.


Here are seven of the American guerrilla leaders who took the fight to the enemy:

1. Francis “The Swamp Fox” Marion

 

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Francis Marion learned guerrilla warfare as a militia lieutenant in a war against the Cherokee Indians in 1761. When the Revolutionary War began, Marion was named a captain and given command of an infantry unit. He rose to the rank of lieutenant colonel and fought hard, but he was there when the battle of Camden ended organized resistance in South Carolina.

Rather than sit out the rest of the war, he enlisted a force of a few dozen men known as Marion’s Partisans and led them in harassing operations against the British. The Partisans scattered British and Loyalist forces on multiple occasions and once rescued 150 Patriot prisoners. Multiple British task forces to capture or kill Marion and the Partisans failed.

2. John Mosby

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

John Mosby started his military career as a young cavalryman and scout but he was quickly identified by J.E.B. Stuart and commissioned as an officer. He rose to the rank of major before taking command of “Mosby’s Rangers,” the force that would later make him famous.

The Rangers used guerrilla tactics to devastate Union lines. He and his men once captured a sleeping Union general during a raid. The Rangers fought on after the surrender at Appomattox Courthouse, but eventually broke apart. Mosby was wanted until Gen. Ulysses S. Grant intervened on his behalf.

3. Carl Eifler

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Carl Eifler was eventually dubbed “The Deadliest Colonel” in World War II for his work with the OSS. He led a group of American trainers into Japanese-occupied Burma and raised a force of the local Kachin people. Eifler and his men led raids against the Japanese that eventually claimed over 5,000 lives.

They also rescued over 500 stranded airmen and provided intelligence for Allied forces in the area. The Kachins would feed important target information to the Army Air Forces, allowing the bombing campaigns in the area to be much more successful.

4. Peter J. Ortiz

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Marine Corps Maj. Peter J. Ortiz parachuted into Nazi-occupied with a team of five Marines, but one was killed and another seriously injured during the jump. Ortiz and the other three survivors linked up with the Maquis resistance and helped lead them in operations against the Germans.

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The Marine-backed resistance forces set ambushes and stole key equipment. German losses were so heavy that they thought an entire Allied battalion had jumped into Normandy. The Americans were eventually captured, but put up such a fight that the German commander accepted the surrender and expected a company of fighters to emerge. When only four men came out, he initially accused Ortiz of lying about his numbers.

5. James H. Lane

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

James H. Lane was one of the more controversial guerrilla fighters in the Civil War, especially on the Union side. He fought in Kansas before the Civil War in support of “Free Staters” who wanted to keep slavery out of the territory.

During the Civil War, he led fighters in Kansas and raised a group of volunteers to guard the White House before the Union Army raised troops for the same purpose. After returning to Kansas, he raised 2,000 fighters that guarded Kansas against Confederate action. His controversy comes from an 1861 assault into Missouri where he led his men in the assault, looting, and burning of Osceola, Missouri.

6. John McNeill

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

John McNeill led approximately 200 men in a guerrilla campaign against Union troops in western Virginia in the Civil War. He and his men were probably most famous for shutting down a portion of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad by burning machine shops and destroying a bridge.

The Union later diverted over 20,000 troops to protect the supply lines. McNeill died in a raid in 1864 but his men continued to fight.

7. Jack Hinson

14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

Jack Hinson started the Civil War as an informant for both sides, seemingly fine with whomever came out on top. But then a group of Union soldiers executed and beheaded his two sons under suspicions of Confederate activity. Jack Hinson then had a custom sniper rifle made and became one of the most effective single-man guerrillas in history.

Armed with his 17-pound, .50-cal. sniper rifle, the 57-year-old man killed the men involved in his sons’ executions. Then he sought out to break the Union Army, firing on Union soldiers on the Tennessee River and killing about 100 troops. In one case, a Union gunboat attempted to surrender after suffering several losses because they were convinced they were under attack by a superior Confederate force.

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6 reasons why the guys from ‘The Hangover’ are like an Army unit

The internet has previously noticed that the guys from “The Hangover” bear certain similarities to a military unit, but these guys function a lot more like an Army unit than drunk civilians have any right to. Here are six reasons why “The Hangover” is really about bad soldier stereotypes.


14 things only people working at the Pentagon understand

1. The lieutenant is only there because the commanding officer said he should be and he screws everything up.

For the eight of you who haven’t seen the movie, “The Hangover” centers around a group of guys who lost their friend, Doug (labeled “The CO” in the meme), and have to find him before his wedding.

How did they lose their friend? Alan, “The lieutenant,” roofied them. Alan is the brother of the bride and so Doug said he should be allowed to come. Two other characters tell Doug he should leave Alan behind, but the Doug insists on bringing him. Alan repays this kindness by attempting a blood pact and then drugging the group.

2. The senior enlisted is obsessed with the paperwork and is always on his phone.

Stu, the “Senior Enlisted,” wants to keep everything under the radar and so he is obsessed with the paper trail. He wants to use cash rather than credit cards, needs to get his marriage annulled and out of the public record, and is always on his phone lying to his girlfriend.

Extra bonus: Stu fits the worst enlisted stereotypes in a few additional ways. He eloped with a stripper/escort at a chapel with military discounts and he constantly tries to sound more important than he is (calling himself a doctor when everyone insists he go by dentist).

3. The CO thinks everyone will follow the rules despite all evidence pointing to the contrary.

Doug picks up the rest of the pack in a Mercedes his future father-in-law loaned him. On the way to the hotel, he seems to honestly believe that everyone will act like responsible adults. He even gives some ground rules for the car even though it’s clear his friends can’t be trusted.

At this point, Alan has revealed he can’t go within 200 feet of a school or Chuck E. Cheese. Phil, “The Enlisted,” has screamed profanities in a neighborhood and is currently drinking in the car. Stu, “The Senior Enlisted,” has asked the team for their help lying to his girlfriend so she won’t know they went to Vegas. Doug goes right on trusting them, even after Alan discusses a plan to count cards and Phil tricks Stu into paying for a villa on the strip.

4. The junior enlisted causes a lot of the chaos but takes none of the responsibility.

As the meme noted, the enlisted guy does all the work. But he shouldn’t really complain since he caused most of the chaos after they woke up in the hotel. When the group finds out they stole a cop car, he drives it onto a curb, turns the lights on, and uses the speakers to hit on women. After the cops catch up with them, he gets the group shocked with stun guns. While visiting a chapel, he leaves a baby in a hot car, telling the others, “It’s fine. I cracked the window.”

5. The lieutenant won’t stop asking dumb questions and saying stupid things.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEXyeWPfZZ4

Alan just can’t find his way in the world, much like a new lieutenant. He asks the hotel receptionist if the hotel is “pager-friendly.” He gives an awkward, prepared speech before he roofies the group. When he learns Stu accidentally gave away his grandmother’s “Holocaust ring,” Alan tells the group he “didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.”

6. CO can’t solve problems without help from the unit.

Doug, like a bad commander stereotype, can’t get stuff done without his unit. For most of the first movie, he is trapped on the roof of a hotel. It’s revealed that he tried to get help by throwing his mattress off the roof. That’s a good start, but he was up there for more than 24 hours. He was fully clothed with a sheet but didn’t yell for help, turn the sheet into a flag, or use the sheet to prevent his serious sunburn. He could’ve gotten attention by cutting an air conditioning hose, or at least tried to get back inside through the access door.

NOW: The 16 best military movies of all time

AND: 69 painful mistakes in ‘Basic’ –the worst Army movie ever

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