17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand - We Are The Mighty
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17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand

All military working dog (MWD) handlers — no matter what branch of service they are in, go through the same basic handlers course and advanced dog training schools. As a result, all handlers in the military use key terms and phrases that every handler will understand. Here are the most common terms and what they mean.


Also Read: 5 Fake Enemies US Troops Have Been Battling For Decades

“HOT SAUCE!” 

All handlers will learn how to decoy — aka pretend to be the bad guy — and it’s important they know how to “agitate” properly to provoke the dog to bite them. To do this they need to make noises and watching them scream and grunt for the first time can be hilarious. To make it simple, instructors tell beginning handlers to yell “HOT SAUCE!” very quickly over and over to provoke the dog.

 

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: Lance Cpl. Drew Tech/USMC

Inverted V (Lackland shuffle)

To conduct a proper detection search, all handlers are taught the “inverted V” method in which the dog detects low, then high, then low again. To do this, handlers must learn to walk backward and beginners move their feet so slow it’s known as the “Lackland shuffle” in reference to the basic handler’s course at Lackland Air Force Base.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: US Navy

Kong Dispenser

The toy used as a universal reward for all military working dogs is the kong. Handlers reward their dogs so much that they call themselves nothing but a kong  dispenser.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: Master Sgt. Adrian Cadiz/USAF

Short Safety

MWD’s are incredibly strong and athletic and so when the situation calls for a handler to maintain tight control of their dog, they will apply a “short safety.” All handlers use a 6-foot leash and, with the dog on their left, they will hold the end of the leash in their right hand while using their left hand to grab the leash halfway down and wrap it once around their hand to ensure the dog stays close.

Typewriters

When an MWD is released to bite, handlers want them to get a full mouth bite, clench tight, and hold on until the handler gets there so the suspect can’t get away. However, dogs that are not fully confident will not clench and hold and instead will bite, then release, and then bite a different area. MWDs that do this are known as typewriters.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: Airman 1st Class Rusty Frank/USAF

Housed

This is when a military working dog runs and hits a decoy so hard that the decoy ends up dazed and confused on the ground, and handlers watching are more than likely laughing their butts off.

Landsharks

This refers to MWD’s whose speed, strength, and bite are a cut above the rest.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: Lance Cpl. Aaron Diamant/USMC

Push Button’s 

These are MWD’s who are so well trained overall, especially in obedience, that they will rarely need a correction, if any.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: Wikipedia

 

Change of behavior

When an MWD is trained to detect specific odors it will show a “change of behavior” when it encounters it. Handlers must get to know their dog’s change of behavior so they know their MWD is about to find something.

Reverse. (Not at source. Pinpoint.)

No handler wants to hear “reverse.” When doing detection with their MWD, if a handler hears “reverse” from the instructor, they know they missed the training aid and now must do the embarrassing action of backtracking. Sometimes, a “not at source” or “pinpoint” is added when the instructor notices the dog is on the odor but hasn’t found the training aid yet.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand

Painters

Most MWD’s that defecate in their kennels will simply wait for their handler to clean it up. Unfortunately, some MWD’s like to play with it and spread it every where they can. By the time the handler comes to clean it, the MWD has “painted” the kennel with feces.

Drop the purse

Most novice handlers unknowingly hold the leash up high while their dog is detecting making it look as though they are holding a purse. It is unnatural, there’s no reason for it, and typically it’s a sign of the handler not being relaxed.  Instructors will tell them to “drop the purse” so they lower the leash and assume a more relaxed hold of it.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: Seaman Abigail Rader/US Navy

 

LOOSE DOG!

Military working dogs are the world’s most-highly trained dogs and must be controlled or in a controlled environment at all times for everyone’s safety. When an MWD has escaped a controlled environment, handlers will yell “LOOSE DOG!” to alert everyone in the area.

 

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: Airman 1st Class Aaron Montoya/USAF

 

Catch my dog

When a handler asks another handler to decoy for their MWD.

 

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: Petty Officer 3rd Class Mark El-Rayes/US Navy

Want peanut butter with that jam?!

MWD’s build up a lot of momentum when they run after the decoy. At the moment of impact it’s important the decoy is not so stiff to allow the dog’s momentum carry through. If the decoy is too stiff, they can jam the dog which can potentially hurt them. The typical response from a handler whose dog was jammed is to ask the decoy if they want peanut butter.

Emotions run up and down leash

Dog teams form a bond so strong that a handler’s attitude will affect the dog’s attitude and vice versa. To keep the dog motivated, it’s important the handler stay motivated.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: Sergeant Rex

 

Trust your dog

This is ingrained in every handler’s head. Dogs who become certified as military working dogs have gone through an extensive selection and training process. They have proven themselves to be the best at what they do. Yet, with the bond a dog team creates and all the training they have gone through, handlers will, at times, doubt their dogs abilities. It’s important to always remember to trust your dog because if there’s anyone who is wrong, it’s the handler because the dog is always right.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Photo: Tech. Sgt. Matt Hecht/USAF

 

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13 funniest military memes for the week of June 9

It’s a tradition as old as time. From the days of Sun Tzu and George Patton, military leaders have taken a break every Friday to share dank memes.


These are those memes:

1. Can confirm this is the test, can give no guidance on how to complete it (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
D-mned devil ball.

2. No one is out there to bother you, lots of fresh air (via Military Memes).

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Also, bring lots of water. You’ll be out there a while.

3. This is a whole new level (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Can not figure out what this does. Like, at all.

Also see: This incredible rap song perfectly captures life in Marine Corps infantry

4. Why is the sky blue? God loves the infantry (via Military Memes).

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
But he only pours his liquid crayons on the tankers.

5. Better limber up those arms. This is about to get rough (via The Salty Soldier).

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand

6. Slowly, the military melts more and more of the happiness off your bones (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
And, apparently, gives you two more legs.

7. “Just send iiiiit!”

(via Keep Calm and Call for Artillery)

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
All good fire missions are initiated while slightly inebriated.

8. Deliveries of donuts are pretty great at raising morale (via Coast Guard Memes).

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Of course, doing them too often also lowers the boat in the waterline.

9. If the students weren’t so worthless, we wouldn’t have these issues (via Decelerate Your Life).

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand

10. It’s been a while since I had a class that wasn’t about sexual harassment or suicide prevention (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand

11. Oh, if only we were all in Alpha Company …

(via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
… instead of in Charlie where dudes KEEP LOSING SENSITIVE ITEMS!

12. You ever seen an insurgent go steel-on-steel with their first round?

(via The Salty Soldier)

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Nobody has, so stop running.

13. Oh, you made points or something?

(Via Decelerate Your Life)

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Cool story, bro. Tell it again but, like, over there.

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7 things you should know before joining the infantry

There’s no shortage of heroic war stories — truth or fiction — with heavy amounts of glory and honor in them, which can cause young adults to crave certain adventures. Although serving in the infantry does bring a level of individual satisfaction, many facts tend to get left out regarding what it’s really  like to be a ground pounder.


So before you run to your local recruiting office to sign on the dotted line and become a hero or whatever, here are a few things you might need to know:

1. It’s a dangerous job

Movies do a great job depicting how dangerous war can be as directors add in cinematic kills and awesome camera work.

In real life, there’s no pulse-pounding theme music or slow motion effects — the sh*t is real.

Yes, we’re serious. (Image via Giphy)

2. You will make unbreakable relationships

Once you make a friend in the infantry, you always have that special bond no matter what.

Hopefully, you’re the “Maverick” in the relationship. (Image via Giphy)

3.  It can be really, really boring

You’ve probably heard the phrase “hurry up and wait.” In a grunt unit, everything takes more time than it should and you’re going to have plenty of down time. So make sure you have games downloaded on your smartphone to play and help you stay awake while you wait for the higher-ups to “pass the word.”

Stay awake brain. (Image via Giphy)

4. You will get to blow sh*t up

This is the best part. That is all.

3/5 Get Some! (Image via Giphy)

5. You will be made to do stupid tasks

It’s called a “working party.” This sounds way more fun than it actually is. Instead of plenty of beer and drunken coeds, you’ll be outside in the heat “police calling” cigarette butts or mopping your boss’s office.

If this looks fun, being a boot in the infantry may be your calling(Image via Giphy)

Also Read: 5 differences between Army and Marine Corps infantry

6. You will go on a lot of mandatory hikes

Whether it’s 5 miles or 25 miles, an infantryman will put on all his gear and equipment and walk the base to help get him in shape for deployment — it’s called a conditioning hike and it’s the worst.

Here’s a fun little trick, wear pantyhose under your socks to keep from ripping up your heels up. You’re welcome.

It might look weird, but it can save your feet and maybe even your life. (Image via Giphy)

7. You’ll earn yourself lifelong pride, you smug bastard.

If you manage to get through all the training, deploy to combat, and make it home safe — you will have unspoken bragging rights forever.

Smile! You’re not serving behind a desk for the next four years. (Image via Giphy)

Articles

The 7 Coolest Air Force Unit Mottos (And What They Mean)

Unit mottos are usually written in Latin and framed by the core values of the group.


The motto is like a mission statement and a battle cry in one. It also serves to boost morale and in some cases, to initiate fear in the enemy. To some, like Lt. Gen. Norman Seip, a motto is more than just a catchy phrase, it represents a unit’s work. In short, these are the words a unit lives by.

Here’s our list of the seven coolest unit mottos in the Air Force:

Motto: Kiai O Ka Lewa (Hawaiian for “Guardians of the Upper Realm”)

5th Bomb Wing: Stationed at Minot Air Force Base, North Dakota, it’s one of the only two B-52H Stratofortress wings in the Air Force.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Image: Wikimedia

Motto: Mors Ab Alto (Latin for “Death from Above”)

7th Bomb Wing: Stationed at Dyess Air Force Base, Texas, it’s one of only two B-1B Lancer bomber wings in the Air Force.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Image: Wikimedia

Motto: Aut Vincere Aut Mors (Latin for “Conquer or Die”)

1st Fighter Wing: Stationed at Langley Air Force Base, Virginia, it’s the first operational wing flying the F-22A Raptor.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Image: Wikimedia

Motto: Attaquez et Conquerez (Latin for “Attack and Conquer”)

8th Fighter Wing: Stationed at Kunsan Air Base, Republic of Korea, the wing flies the F-16 Fighting Falcon.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Image: Wikimedia

Motto: Tutor et Ultor (Latin for “Protector and Defender”)

49th Fighter Wing: Stationed at Holloman Air Force Base, New Mexico, the wing flies the F-22 Raptor.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Image: Wikimedia

Motto: “Seek, Attack, Destroy”

52nd Fighter Wing: Stationed at Spangdahlem Air Base, Germany, the unit is flies the F-16 Fighting Falcon.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Image: Wikimedia

Motto: “Fire From The Clouds”

33rd Fighter Wing: Stationed at Eglin Air Force Base, Florida, the wing’s mission is to train F-35 pilots and maintainers.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Image: Wikimedia

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14 photos that show what life is like on Army boats

Army mariners are a rare breed — soldiers who spend most of their time out on the water, sometimes even transiting open oceans like sailors or something.


While the Army’s boat program is relatively unknown outside of the service, it fills a crucial role in military logistics, allowing commanders to ferry supplies along coastlines and up and down rivers — even when there is little or no Navy support. Here are 14 photos that give a glimpse into the life of Army watercraft operators:

1. Mariners have to train for special emergencies that the rest of the Army rarely thinks about, like man overboard or a capsized vessel.

 

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Army Mariners with the 411th Transportation Detachment search for Oscar the training mannequin during a man-overboard drill aboard the Army logistic support vessel Maj. Gen. Charles P. Gross during cargo operations in the Arabian Gulf Jan. 19, 2017. (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Aaron Ellerman)

2. Watercraft operators and other mariners can be assigned to a number of different ships, but logistics vessels like these Landing Craft Utility 2000s are the most common.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Two Landing Craft Utility 2000’s from the 481st Transportation Company (Heavy Boats) are tied alongside a Naval Cargo ship at Alameda Point, Calif. on July 30, 2015. (Photo: U.S. Army Maj. Gregg Moore)

3. The LCU 2000s, Logistics Support Vessels, and other craft are designed to deploy heavy Army equipment to unimproved beaches.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
A Bradley Fighting Vehicle rolls off the ramp of an Army Logistics Support Vessel during a training exercise. Army watercraft are designed to operate in austere to bare beach environment and are not dependent upon developed seaports or infrastructure. (Photo: U.S. Army Master Sgt. Dave Thompson)

4. Different vessel types have different lift capabilities, and the largest can carry over a dozen M1 tanks per lift.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Bradley Fighting Vehicles from Company A, 1st Battalion, 22nd Infantry, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, get loaded on 805th Transportation Detachment, Logistics Support Vessel 8, U.S. Army Vessel, Maj Gen. Robert Smalls at Kuwait Naval Base, Kuwait, March 25, 2013. (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. William E. Henry, 38th Sustainment Brigade)

5. While the boats are made to operate in as little water as possible — 12 feet for the LSV and as little as five feet for the Landing Craft, Mechanized 8 — most of them are capable of crossing open ocean when necessary.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
The 481st Transportation Company (Heavy Boats) brings loads of equipment from Port Hueneme, Calif., to San Clemente Island, May 19, 2015. This 16-hour round trip for the Landing Craft Utility 2000 saves the U.S. Navy hundreds of thousands of dollars.

6. The boys in blue may look like Coast Guardsmen, but they’re actually the soldiers who crew these small vessels.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
More than 30 Army Mariners embarked on a multi-day transport mission aboard the Army logistic support vessel Maj. Gen. Charles P. Gross from Kuwait Naval Base on Jan. 19, 2017. The mariners hauled cargo to Qatar from Port of Shuaiba, Kuwait and transported another load during the return. (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Aaron Ellerman)

7. Watercraft engineers maintain the boats. Because there are no specialty fields for watercraft engineers, they have to learn the ins and outs of each vessel type.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Spc. Dongbina Kwon, a watercraft engineer with the 1099th Transportation Detachment assigned to the SP4 James A. Loux, Logistical Support Vehicle-6, conducts a check of the engine room during a mission in the Persian Gulf March 1, 2016. Watercraft engineers have to be trained to work on dozens of components because there are no specialty fields used on Army boats. (Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. Walter Lowell)

8. Watercraft operators pilot the ships and work the decks. Other soldiers, like medics and cooks, are also assigned to Army vessel crews.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Spc. Kayla Pfertsh a watercraft operator with the 411th Transportation Detachment readies the main deck of the Army Logistical Support Vessel-5 Maj. Gen. Charles P. Gross, for cargo operations in the Arabian Gulf 19 Jan., 2017. The crew consisted of watercraft operators, engineers, cooks, and medics, although each member is trained to perform several tasks outside the scope of their duty specialty in case of an emergency situation. (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Aaron Ellerman)

 

9. Most army boats have ramps that allow vehicles to be driven on and off.

 

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Ft. Lewis, Wa.,June 8 2016. 7th Transportation Brigade (Expeditionary) supports Alpha Company 181st Brigade Support Battalion, Washington Army National Guard, as they load three Palletized Loading Systems (PLS) onto the US Army Vessel Malvern Hill, LCU 2025. (Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Wilmarys RomanRivera)

10. But cranes are often used to move pallets and machines onto and off of the vessels.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Army mariners with the 1099th Transportation Detachment assigned to the SP4 James A. Loux, Logistics Support Vehicle-6, load an Army vehicle on the main deck during a mission to Port Salalah, Oman, March 6, 2016. An Army LSV can hold over a dozen U.S. Army M1 Main Battle Tanks. (Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. Walter Lowell)

11. Everything from Humvees to tankers to armored vehicles can be loaded this way.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Army Mariners with the 1099th Transportation Detachment assigned to the SP4 James A. Loux, Logistics Support Vehicle-6, loading an Army vehicle on the main deck during a mission to Port Salalah, Oman March 6, 2016. An Army LSV is specifically designed to hold any vehicle used by the U.S. Army. (Photo: U.S. Army)

12. In addition to the sealift vessels, the Army maintains a small fleet of tugboats and engineering vessels like dredges and cranes.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand

 

13. Army boats are deployed all around the globe, supporting operations from the American coast to the Middle East and Asia.

 

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
The SP4 James A. Loux (LSV-6) slowly moves its cargo away from port during a mission to Port Salalah, Oman March 6, 2016.An Army LSV can move a full load of cargo over 6,000 miles over open ocean before it needs to be refueled. By comparison, San Francisco, California to Honolulu, Hawaii, is just over 2,300 miles. (Photo: U.S. Army)


14. Just remember, the crews are soldiers and mariners, not sailors or Marines.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
The U.S Army Landing Ship Aldie participates in a training exercise for the maritime portion of Phase one of Tradewinds 2016 near St. George’s, Grenada, June 10, 2016. (Photo: U.S. Coast Guard Petty Officer 1st Class Melissa Leake)

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The 6 best things about living in an open bay

Troops deployed around the world aren’t always saddled with the modern conveniences of a private room. Instead, they get to experience communal living in an open bay that houses anywhere from five or six service members to hundreds of them, each with an entire cot’s worth of space to call their own.


For those unfortunate people who have never lived within spitting distance of nearly everyone they work with, here are six major perks to living in a military bay:

1. Everyone knows your business, and you know theirs.

When everyone is sleeping practically on top of each other, it’s sort of hard to keep anything private. Reading choices, hygiene habits, frequency of urination, everyone knows everything about you. And, this flows both ways. Whether you like it or not, you will know how long and how often your friends poop.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
When you’re living in areas with bunk beds instead of cots, you get to practice teamwork by splitting the area under the bed with someone else. (Photo: U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Jason Bailey)

2. You always know which of your buddies are sick

Every cough, sneeze, and snore cuts through the air of the bay like a serrated knife through your dreams, ensuring that you always know who is congested and who has undiagnosed sleep apnea. This allows buddies to update each other on general health matters.

3. You learn all sorts of medical tips, like “Sleep head-to-toe to avoid respiratory infections.”

You’ll learn a lot about human anatomy in a large bay. For instance, humans breathing only a few feet from each other all night will often exchange respiratory diseases. To avoid this, all troops should sleep with their heads and feet on alternating ends of the cots. That way, you get to smell your buddy’s sweaty feet all night instead of picking up his horrendous cough.

4. You have the entire underside of your cot to store stuff.

One of the best things about living in a bay is that you have tons of storage space. Almost the entire underside of your cot can be used for holding duffel bags, rucks, and — for the truly elite — even footlockers. Some units fill the bay with beds and lockable storage, but then you need a key to get into your stuff. Best to just rock the duffel bag with flimsy lock for quick access.

5. Other military specialties divulge their secrets while holding meetings 3 feet from you.

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
A Navy Midshipman candidate practices waking up his buddies with bad light discipline during a fire guard shift in 2016. This will come in handy if he’s ever deployed into another open-bay environment. (Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt. Brian Tuthill)

Sleepers will learn a lot more about the Army when they’re frequently awakened by NCOs and junior officers discussing operations near their bunks. Want to learn more about electromagnetic warfare? Be sure to grab a bunk near the EWO. Want to never sleep again? The operations cell usually has bunks at the back.

6. The long treks to the latrines really wake you up in the morning (and at 0-dark-30).

Have trouble waking up without coffee? Many bays don’t have plumbing and the 300-yard walk to the latrines and sinks every morning just to brush your teeth can really get the blood pumping. In the bays with water, you’re sure to get frequent reminders to get out of bed as literally dozens of people start shuffling past your bed on their way to and from the urinal.

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5 TV characters from the 90s who should’ve joined the military

One of the habits we develop as veterans is to watch military-themed movies and TV shows and point out everything that is wrong with them, from jacked-up uniforms to what appears to be “STOLEN VALOR!”


But something I have caught myself doing is watching shows that have absolutely nothing to do with the military and point out characters I believe would benefit from heading down to the local recruiting office.

Here are five television characters from the 90s who probably should’ve served in the military.

1. Cody Lambert  from “Step by Step” 

Cody Lambert

This guy, it’s the Code man! Of course we all loved him. He was the adorable nephew who lived in a van behind his Uncle’s house. You have to respect his Uncle Frank for allowing his grown nephew to stay there while he was working on a new marriage with 3 new step kids who really didn’t appreciate him.

But Cody, of all people, needs to realize he’s intruding and the lifestyle he’s leading is not a good influence on the six kids in the house. What are you trying to teach them Cody? That it’s perfectly acceptable to live in a van and that somebody will bail you out when you’re older? No, Cody, that’s not what you teach them!

How about you be a better influence? Cody should have signed up for the military and shown them that there are other options in life than what he has been living. I mean, come on, how many “Codys” did we have in the barracks? He would have fit in just fine. Then maybe after his time in the service was done, ol’ Code man could have used that sweet, sweet VA loan to buy himself a little two-bedroom ranch with a little white picket fence.

I’m happy the show stopped when it did because after the influence he was putting on the Lambert family, I would hate to see how those kids turned out. This mainly applies to J.T., of course.

2. Dylan McKay from “Beverly Hills 90210” 

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand

Time to trim up those side burns and turn those sexy locks into a high and tight, Dylan McKay. This guy’s life was a mess to start with but I think he had all the tools to make a decent soldier. Dylan was the loner out of those seven featured students from West Beverly High. No I don’t mean loner when he got to school, but in life.

His parents divorced and left McKay by himself to live. After receiving that nice inheritance, Dylan took off to Beverly Hills and lived by himself WHILE IN HIGH SCHOOL! Dylan was winning the war on life. He showed all the Army values before he even graduated high school, but then he became arrogant in life.

This guy, when he should have joined the service, decided to hit the bottle and lose his girlfriend. He then turned into a Blue Falcon and started sleeping with all of his friend’s girlfriends. Not a good move, Dylan, not a good move! I have a feeling that if he would have joined, Brenda would respect his decision and turn into a great military wife and would have ran Bingo games at the local NCO Club.

3. Jazz  from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” 

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand

This guy, more than anything, needed guidance. If you ask me, Jazz was that neighbor that Will just kept around to feel better about himself. Pretty selfish move, Will. In a few episodes, Jazz showed off some serious basketball skills which might have led him to a community college for two years of college hoops but probably not much after that.

Here’s what should have happened: Uncle Phil needed to stop being a bully. As we all know, Uncle Phil felt big and bad throwing poor Jazz out of the house all the time. This isn’t an Olympic sport, Uncle Phil, this is a HUMAN BEING!

Uncle Phil should have taken Jazz to a military career office and perhaps put those basketball skills to use for a military academy. He would have gotten to shine while gaining a military work ethic. He would have then become the man that Hilary needed. I’m putting this one on you, Uncle Phil. Oh yeah, and don’t think we weren’t dumb enough to notice that you switched out wives in the middle of the show. I guess that’s a privilege of being a judge. Shame on you, Your Honor.

4. Six Dorothy Lemeure from “Blossom” 

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand
Blossom and Six (right)

She arguably had a much harder life than everyone else on this list. Six once said that she got her name from the amount of beers that her dad fed her mom to get her pregnant. But that’s not even the worst thing: During the show, Six battled alcoholism, dated a much older man, and even had a pregnancy scare. Sounds like she’s already lived the life of an Army private.

Six had an undying passion for Blossom’s brother, Joey. WOAH! Here’s the thing though, Six. You’re putting your family and friends through stress because of these poor decisions. If you were as passionate about bettering yourself as you are about Joey, you would do just fine in the service and realize that it would be a great decision for you.

5. A.C. Slater from “Saved By The Bell” 

17 Terms Only Military Working Dog Handlers Will Understand

So many of you are probably saying it should be Zach Morris and not A.C. Slater. But let me remind you, Zach scored a 1502 on his SAT test (the highest of all of the gang) and he had something special with Kelly. If Zach would have went to boot camp he wouldn’t have been able to keep his head in the game with that beautiful woman back home.

Slater, on the other hand, already lived the experience. He was an Army brat so he was familiar with the lifestyle. He also showed signs of weakness when he decided to attend Cal U. and not attend Iowa (a national powerhouse in wrestling) on a wrestling scholarship. He was a proven leader in a group environment but still needed a little more discipline. The biggest fear, for me, with Slater being in the service is his pride in being a “male chauvinist pig.” He better not call any female service member “mama.”

That stuff won’t fly, A.C.

NOW: The top 5 military-themed songs that aren’t written by Toby Keith

 

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The 19 most game-changing weapons of the 21st century

We’ve come a long way since the stealth bomber.


Just as smart gadgets have invaded our homes and revolutionized our lives over the last 15 years, next-level weaponry has transformed the military.

The imperatives of the military have always been one of the main drivers of technological development.

ARPANET, one of the internet’s most important precursors was a Pentagon project, while most of the technology in an iPhone originated with the US Department of Defense.

Today, militaries all over the world are still pushing technological boundaries. Since the turn of the millennium, weapons featuring a vast range of technical sophistication have proven to be game changers.

Everything from concealed roadside bombs — cheap, primitive, and deadly  — to multibillion-dollar aerial lasers have transformed conventional methods of combat and altered the world’s technological and political landscape.

Here are 19 of the most important weapons of the last 15 years.

Massive Ordnance Penetrator bombs

 

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

America’s largest conventional bomb is precision-guided, 20 feet long, weighs 30,000 pounds, and can blast through underground bunkers.

Boeing’s Massive Ordnance Penetrator (MOP) bomb is designed to pierce 60 feet of reinforced concrete and then detonate 200 feet underground — making no bunker safe.

After the MOP’s first successful test in 2007, the US Air Force ordered an arsenal of these mega-bombs.

The Chinese anti-satellite program

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

In January of 2007, China initiated a new and terrifying era in warfare. Using a C-19 ballistic missile, the People’s Liberation Army destroyed an out-of-commission weather satellite flying over 500 miles above the surface of Earth.

In a single widely condemned move, China had militarized outer space. It was a move that might have been inevitable, but whose long-term consequences are startling. If satellites were considered legitimate military targets, attacks could create debris fields that would knock out entire orbits or create chain reactions that might destroy vital communications and global-positioning satellites. Similarly, countries could deploy weapons to outer space capable of destroying terrestrial targets once the global taboo against space warfare is obliterated.

If that alarming worst-case scenario ever comes to pass, future generations could identify the successful 2007 test as the moment that space became a military frontier. The test also displayed China’s eagerness to develop weapons that its rivals would never use — showing how a state can use asymmetrical means to close the gap with it more powerful rivals.

The X-47B

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Photo: Northrop Grumman

 

The Navy’s X-47B is a strike-fighter-sized unmanned aircraft with the potential to completely change aerial warfare.

Northrop Grumman’s drone is capable of aerial refueling, 360-degree rolls, and offensive weapon deployment. It’s carried out the first autonomous aerial refueling in aviation history, and has taken off and landed from an aircraft carrier.

It cruises at half the speed of sound, and has a wingspan of 62 feet — as well as a range of at least 2,400 miles, which is more than twice that of the Reaper drone.

Reaper drones

 

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The M19 Reaper drone has radically changed the way that the US carries out military operations. First released in 2001, the Reaper drone has been used in surveillance operations and strikes against militants in places ranging from Iraq to Somalia to Pakistan.

Reaper drones are built to be effective at both surveillance and air support. The drones are capable of reading a license plate from over two miles away while at an altitude of 52,000 feet.

The drones can also carry 500-pound bombs and both air-to-ground missiles and air-to-air missiles. Capable of staying airborne for 36 hours, the drone has given the US a remarkable ability to strike targets quickly and quietly around the world — and without risking personnel in the process.

The V-22 Osprey

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Photo: Senior Airman Julianne Showalter/USAF

The V-22 Osprey is a multitask tilt rotor aircraft that has become a staple of the Marine Corps since its introduction into service. The Osprey can take off and land vertically like a helicopter, but it can also travel at speeds approaching that of a fixed-wing plane.

The Osprey originally suffered from several worrisome accidents, including a series of fatal crashes, before it was officially introduced into service in 2007. The plane’s later models have now become absolutely indispensable for the Marines. It has seen use in combat and rescue operations as far afield as Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya.

The Air Force, Navy, and Marines have used the Osprey for almost every conceivable mission. It has been used for troop transport, MEDEVAC missions, supply transport, and aerial delivery; it is also being tested for use as an aerial refueling platform. As it can land vertically, the Osprey is also able to take part in operations normally out of bounds for traditional aircraft, which typically need hundreds of feet of runway space.

Boost-glide hypersonic weapons

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Boost-glide hypersonic weapons are the latest arena in which the US and China are competing militarily. Neither country has quite developed a working advanced hypersonic weapon (AHW) prototype, but the two countries both tested their own versions in August 2014.

Boost-glide weapons can hit their targets with unprecedented speed and effectiveness. If they ever become operable, these weapons would be able to deliver weapons payloads while traveling at a velocity five times faster than the speed of sound over a range of several thousand miles.

Boost-glide weapons are capable of traveling on a trajectory that makes them difficult for missile-defense systems to intercept, since those systems are designed to work against the high arc of traditional ballistic missiles. Boost-glide projectiles travel quickly and at a flat angle, working at speeds and trajectories that flummox existing missile defense technologies.

These weapons could deliver nuclear warheads faster and better than anything ever built, and experts fear that they could spark a new arms race.

Seaborne Tomahawk Missiles

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A Tomahawk missile, guided by an F/A-18 Super Hornet hits a moving maritime target. (Photo: YouTube)

On January 27, the Navy carried out a successful test of a steerable marine-launched Tomahawk missile. Guided by an F/A-18E/F Super Hornet, the modified missile was able to change directions in flight and hit a moving maritime target.

“This is potentially a game-changing capability for not a lot of cost,” Deputy Secretary of Defense Bob Work said at the WEST 2015 conference. “It’s a 1,000-mile anti-ship cruise missile.”

The new converted Tomahawks would have a range of almost 1,000 nautical miles, allowing the US to maintain a considerable edge over rival naval powers. On the other side of the Pacific, one of China’s most threatening new military advancements is its development of its own advanced anti-ship cruise missiles. While potentially threatening to US ships, these missiles would have just half the range of the converted Tomahawk.

THAAD missiles

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Photo: Raytheon

The most advanced missile system on the planet can hunt and blast incoming missiles right out of the sky with a 100% success rate — from a truck, no less.

With its unmatched precision, the Terminal High-Altitude Area Defense (THAAD) system can equalize conflicts around the world. With its mobility and strategic battery-unit placement, the THAAD can close the gap between mismatched military forces and take away an enemy’s aerial advantage.

Impressively, the THAAD missile does not carry a warhead, instead using pure kinetic energy to deliver “hit-to-kill” lethality to ballistic missiles inside or outside of Earth’s atmosphere. Each launcher carries up to eight missiles and can send multiple kill vehicles, depending on the severity of the threat.

The YAL Airborne Laser Testbed

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The YAL Airborne Laser Testbed’s turret assembly. (Photo: YouTube)

Weaponized lasers will likely be a feature on the battlefield of the future. Even though only one of the weapons was ever built and the program has been discontinued, the YAL Airborne Laser Testbed was an important proof of concept.

The American weapon, which was first tested successfully in 2007, was housed inside a converted 747 aircraft. The plane had the largest laser turret ever built installed on its nose. The laser was built to intercept tactical ballistic missiles midway through their flight path; in a 2010 test, the YAL succeeded in shooting down a test target.

The military decided the YAL was impractical — in order to intercept a missile, the aircraft would have to already be in the air, while the weapon itself was expensive to fabricate, operate, and maintain. Still, it demonstrated that enormous, high-powered lasers could destroy large and fast-moving objects, and do so in midair. 

If lasers ever become a feature of aerial combat, it will be because of the precedent of the YAL.

The Laser Weapon System

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Photo: YouTube

The Navy’s Laser Weapon System, or LaWS, is a ship-mounted weaponized laser that can burn through enemy targets in less than 30 seconds.

The energy used to deploy a single LaWS laser shot costs approximately $1 compared to the traditional SM-2, a similar surface-to-air system that runs $400,000 per missile.

Earlier this year, Boeing signed a contract with the US Navy to upgrade the current software used on the laser system.

Stuxnet

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

In 2010, a malicious computer program swept through Iran’s nuclear infrastructure. Stuxnet caused uranium enrichment centrifuges to inexplicably fail and knocked out as much as 20% of Iran’s enrichment capacity. The computer worm essentially slowed Iran’s nuclear efforts, raising the pressure on Tehran and buying the US and its allies some valuable time to build up international opposition to the country’s program.

Stuxnet was a turning point in the modern history of warfare. It was a state-sponsored hack, a computer program likely built by the US and Israel in order to influence the behavior of a rival government. It arguably worked, to a degree — Iran’s program was slowed; the international community tightened its sanctions regime; the Iranian economy teetered on the brink of collapse, and the conditions for the current negotiations slid into place.

But it also set a precedent for governments hacking one another and hashing out their disagreements in the cyber realm. The North Korean hack of Sony is arguably the next step in the process and shows how cyber weapons may be so hard to control now that they’ve been introduced into international affairs.

Iron Dome

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Ever since Hezbollah rained hundreds of rockets over northern Israel during a July 2006 escalation in hostilities, projectile attacks have been the country’s most pressing security challenge. There have been some 15,000 rocket attacks on the country since 2001, including attacks from Iranian and Russian-made missiles capable of hitting Israel’s major population centers.

The Iron Dome antimissile battery is capable of tracking the trajectory of an incoming projectile and then launching an interceptor that detonates the missile at a safe altitude. Iron Dome saves lives on both sides of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict: Hamas rocket attacks during flare-ups in 2012 and 2014 killed few people inside of Israel even including days in which more than 100 rockets were fired. Without Iron Dome, the death toll would have been far higher in both conflicts and Israel’s response might have been even more protracted.

Iron Dome was developed by a state-owned Israeli defense company to face a specific threat and therefore has little battlefield applicability beyond the country’s borders. But it’s one of the primary modern examples of a country mustering all of its technological resources to solve a highly specialized and difficult security problem. In an era where large, set-piece battles between armies and traditional battlefield tactics may be a thing of the past, this may be the kind of the military edge that ends up counting the most.

Heat rays

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Both China and the US have developed nonlethal “heat rays” that cause extreme pain and can aid in crowd control. The general idea behind the weapons is to heat the water just below the surface of a person’s skin so as to induce pain, causing the target to flee without inflicting death or incapacitation.

The Chinese heat ray can target individuals at up to 262 feet away. When hooked up to an extra power source, the beam can hit targets at distances of 0.6 miles.

The US version of the heat ray, known as the Active Denial System (ADS), had a range of 1,000 meters and could raise the temperature of a target’s skin by 130 degrees. However, the ADS was recalled by the US military without ever having been used over questions of its ethical application.

Bullets that can change direction in flight

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Photo: DARPA

Extreme Accuracy Tasked Ordnance (EXACTO) are bullets that can change their path during flight to correct for the movement of a target or any other factors that might have driven the projectile off-course.

The bullets feature optical tips that can detect guidance lasers focused on a target. Tiny fins on the bullets then guide the bullet towards that laser. The Pentagon just successfully conducted a live-fire test utilizing these rounds.

If fully implemented, these rounds could drastically improve the accuracy of US soldiers. The weapons would also help reduce the risks of friendly-fire incidents or of stray bullets harming civilians.

The Golden Hour blood container

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Photo: Jason Johnston/US Army

This isn’t a weapon — but it’s still a game changer.

The Golden Hour, developed by US Army scientists in 2003, helped keep US soldiers alive after suffering a major battlefield injury. The box-like thermal container preserved red blood cells at a temperature that would prevent donor blood from dying under harsh environmental conditions in Iraq and Afghanistan — all without having to use electricity, batteries, or ice to moderate the blood’s temperature.

If soldiers were injured on the battlefield, there would be life-saving donor blood immediately on hand in small and easily portable containers that require no actual energy input. This allows medics to perform transfusions quickly and efficiently when soldiers’ lives are most at risk.

The container shows that not every major battlefield development is weapons related, and it demonstrates just how far technology has come in saving soldiers’ lives.

Improvised explosive devices

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Photo: Cpl. Alfred Lopez/USMC

Every era of modern warfare has had weapons that closed the gap between powerful state militaries and nonstate militant groups. During the Cold War, rebel groups around the world used the cheap and plentiful AK-47 to defeat far larger armies around the world.

The roadside bomb is how insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan bogged down a far larger and more powerful US military. Camouflaged “improvised explosive devices,” often hidden in cars or potholes, could be detonated using cell phones. They could also be built quickly and covertly, and without a huge amount of engineering expertise.

IEDs killed as many as 3,100 US soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, representing around two-thirds of total US combat deaths. The bombs prevented the US from winning in both countries through conventional means, leading to technological developments like the MRAP and a shift to counterinsurgency strategy in both wars. IEDs have arguably transformed the US military and its mission like no other modern weapon.

Roadside bombs showed how in the 21st century, it’s still possible for a small and technologically primitive military force to wreak havoc on a larger and infinitely better-equipped one.

Mine-Resistant Ambush-Protected vehicles

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The US was in huge trouble in Iraq in 2005. The American-led mission was losing ground to a growing insurgency led by Al Qaeda elements. And the US was suffering huge losses from improvised explosive devices that would rip through even heavily armored vehicles. Insurgents were setting bombs that would detonate under American personnel carriers, which weren’t built to withstand the insurgents’ weaponry.

The heavily armored MRAP was designed, developed, and built in a matter of months to counter the US’ biggest operational challenge in Iraq; by 2009 over 21,000 of them were in service.

Developed on an accelerated schedule, the MRAP reduced US casualties from mine and IED attacks by 80%. And it provided the US and its allies with a vehicle that could operate in a new, challenging combat environment.

Four-tube night-vision goggles

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Photo: USAF

 

Each member of Navy SEAL Team Six is issued $65,000 four-tube night-vision goggles, according to Navy SEAL Matt Bissonnette in his book, “No Easy Day.”

Compared to the standard two-tube goggles, which Bissonnette says are similar to binoculars, the four-tube model gives soldiers a greatly expanded field of view.

The Ground Panoramic Night Vision Goggles are made in Londonderry, New Hampshire, by L-3 Warrior Systems’ Insight division, Defense One reports.

Since 2010, the Pentagon has spent at least $12.5 million on this elite military eyewear, according to Defense One.

The Ghost hovercraft

Developed by Juliet Marine Systems, the Ghost could become one of the military’s ships of the future.

Propped on two blade-like pontoons, the Ghost cuts through the water while maintaining enhanced balance. The design allows the ship to reduce friction and increase its stability.

The ship has also been designed for maximum stealth. It is nonmagnetic and hard to detect via sonar, making it ideal for infiltration and surveillance of enemy waters.

The Ghost can also deploy a range of offensive weapons that are similar to what an attack helicopter would carry. The vessel can be equipped with Gatling guns, Griffin missiles, and rockets launched either from its hull or from the craft’s skin.

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These 7 photos prove the F-4 is the greatest multirole fighter of all time

The arguments have raged in the back bars of officers clubs for years about which fighter is the greatest. (And many times a pilot’s vote is for the airplane he or she happens to be flying at that time.) But in terms of staying power and mission agility, no other military airplane can match the track record of the venerable F-4 Phantom.


Here are 7 photos that prove the point:

1. Air-to-air

 

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The Phantom was the first American military jet made with air-to-air missiles as the primary offensive weapon, and over the course of the airplane’s long history that capability was used to good effect by the U.S. Air Force, U.S. Navy, U.S. Marine Corps and a host of foreign countries including Israel, Iran, and Turkey. USAF F-4 crews alone scored over 107 kills during the Vietnam War.

2. Air-to-ground

 

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(Photo: USMC)

The F-4’s bombing capability made it a workhorse during the Vietnam War. The Phantom’s power and number of weapons stations allowed it to carry a wide variety of ordnance, which allowed it to be tailored to a specific mission in ways that were impossible for other airplanes.

3. SAM suppression

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(Photo: USAF)

The “Wild Weasel” variant of the F-4 had the mission of flying into surface-to-air missile envelopes in order to coax SAM operators to come to life. Once they did, the Wild Weasels would take the SAM sites out with Shrike missiles or conventional bombs, but in the process aircrews often found themselves dodging missiles shot at them from the ground.

4. Reconnaissance

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Turkish RF-4 over Syria. (Photo: NATO)

The photo version of the Phantom had cameras in the nose cone and took advantage of the jet’s speed and agility to get important imagery to military decision-makers in a hurry.

5. Test and evaluation

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(Photo: U.S. Navy)

Phantoms were used by NASA and a variety of military TE squadrons for data points around supersonic flight and other mission areas. At one time the F-4 held 15 world records for flight performance. Here, VX-4’s “Vandy One” with arguably the coolest paint job in military history chases an SR-71 over the Mohave Desert.

6. Flight demonstration

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Blue Angels diamond flies along show center at Nellis AFB with Thunderbird No. 1 parked on the ramp in the foreground. (Photo: U.S. Navy)

The F-4 was used in the late ’60s and early ’70s by both the U.S. Navy’s Blue Angels and the U.S. Air Force’s Thunderbirds. The rear cockpit was generally unoccupied for demonstration flights. The Phantom show was a crowd-pleaser — fast and loud. The airplane was ultimately too expensive and too much to maintain on the road, so the Blues switched to A-4s and the Thunderbirds went to T-38s.

7. Target drone

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(Photo: U.S. Navy)

Look, ma, no pilot! At the end of their lives, a number of Phantoms were turned into drones for missile exercises and advanced testing.

Bonus . . . Mothballed asset

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(Photo: Google Earth)

Phantom phans, take heart: There are hundreds of F-4s lined up in the Arizona desert outside of Davis-Monthan Air Force Base ready to come back into service if the need arises.

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9 tips for ‘skating’ in the Navy

Work can be monotonous for junior sailors who spend their days cleaning, cranking, and painting. The trick is to make the best of it, so we asked seasoned sailors from the Submarine Bubblehead Brotherhood and US Navy Veteran Facebook groups for their advice on how to avoid working without getting caught — better known in the fleet as “skating.”

Also read: 13 tips for dating on a US Navy ship

There’s an art to skating. As one sailor from the Bubblehead Brotherhood put it, “Many people think that skating is merely a lazy man’s forte. But few fail to realize its complexity as a whole. To skate is to be a good actor, good talker, and well-liked among divisions.”

Take it from the pros; here are nine tips for skating:

1. Volunteer to go on a run for the division

 

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Runs involve going for snacks, supplies, or other LPO-type errands. The key here is to take your time. Turn it into a half-day event, go to the NEX, the barracks, or anywhere you want, but avoid looking suspicious.

2. Hide in plain sight with cleaning materials

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Photo: Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Rob Aylward/US Navy

If you look busy, no one will bother you. Always have a cleaning item on hand and pull it out when someone of a higher rank approaches. Here’s how it worked for one sailor:

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3. Sit in a stall in the head

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Go to the head and take your time. It also pays to know the cleaning schedule. You can spend half the day rotating through different heads.

4. Volunteer for a dreaded task or one that requires little supervision

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Photo: Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Nicolas C. Lopez/US Navy

 

This works best with a task that you don’t mind doing. This plane captain will probably clean the same spot for 30 minutes before moving to another spot.

5. Walk around the ship with a worried look while holding a clipboard.

The key to skating with a clipboard is your facial expression. Always look focused, worried, or angry. Nobody will want to get involved in whatever you’re dealing with.

6. Chase the signature

 

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Photo: Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Apprentice Edward Gutierrez III/US Navy

In order to stand watch or use a piece of equipment in the Navy, you must first get qualified. Earning your qualification requires that another qualified sailor give you a tutorial on the peace of gear. You can be “Joe Navy” and have your qualification in a couple of days, or you can drag this out by asking for the tutorial at the wrong time. When asked for the status of your qualification, no one can deny that you weren’t trying.

7. Leave an extra cover and set of keys on the desk in the shop

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Have a spare cover and set of keys that you keep at your desk and use the other set for leaving the shop. The spare set is to throw your shipmates off your scent. “He’s got to be here somewhere. His keys and cover are right here.”

8. Take a nap in a storage room

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Photo: Wikimedia

Get your buddy to lock you in a storage or munition room. The rooms lock from the outside, so make sure that your buddy is trustworthy, otherwise prepare to go to mast if a man-over-board is called and you miss your muster.

9. Get a wireless alert chime.

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Wireless chimes are great for catching sleep during working hours. They are meant to be permanent, but you can make them mobile with Velcro tape. Place the magnetic sensors over the door or hatch and take the speaker/receiver with you away from view. The receiver will sound off when the door is opened. 

NOW: 11 insider insults sailors say to each other

OR: 7 productivity hacks everyone can learn from the US Navy

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What soldiers really want in their care packages

How do you know what a soldier really wants in a care package? If you’re not in the position to ask the recipient what they need, use this list of care package ideas for soldiers to help you figure it out. You should ask yourself a few questions before putting the box together: Where is the soldier stationed? How long will she/he be there? What would you want to receive if you were trapped in a remote space without access to all your favorite things? And most importantly, what can you send a soldier that will boost their morale?


Being in the military is a tough job, so the best care packages for soldiers include items that are absolutely necessary, like toiletries, personal hygiene items, and medical products (mostly foot repair items), as well as entertaining and/or personal items like comic books, a deck of cards, or memorabilia from home (letters, drawings, mixtapes, etc.). You want the recipient to be able to take care of their physical needs and discomforts by sending products they can’t buy when they’re away from commissary, and you want to promote some light-hearted interaction by sending games or puzzles.

You don’t need to have a friend or a family member in the military to send some care packages for troops – there are plenty of groups and websites that will guide you through the process of how to properly pack and ship care packages to soldiers. Vote up the items you consider the most important, and add any items you don’t already see listed here. If you’ve been on the receiving end of one of these packages, please add items, and leave any relative comments in the comments section below!

What Soldiers Really Want in Their Care Packages

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3 early tank designs that were too ridiculous to function

Tanks are a staple of ground warfare. Militaries around the world deploy a wide range of tanks, but typically they conform to some basic principals. In nearly all of them, a large turret sits on top of an armored vehicle that moves on treads.


But this wasn’t always the case. In the early 20th century, engineers around the world were scrambling to figure out how exactly to pass uneven terrain and mobilize troops. This period of innovation resulted in today’s technologically marvelous tanks, but before that, they had some truly outrageous ideas.

The Tsar Tank

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Photo: Wikicommons

Tank development was in its earliest stages when Tsar Nicholas II ruled Russia in the first decades of the 20th century. The Tsar differed from modern tanks in that it didn’t have treads, instead using two massive 27-foot-tall front wheels and a small third wheel, 5 feet in diameter, that trailed behind for steering. Reportedly, when Nicholas II saw a model of the tank roll over a stack of books he was sold on the project and gave it his blessing.

Russian engineers Nikolai Lebedenko, Nikolai Zhukovsky, Boris Stechkin, and Alexander Mikulin developed the Tsar from 1914 to 1915. The vehicle resembled a hanging bat when viewed from above, so it gained the nickname “Netopyr,” which translates to “pipistrellus,” the genus name for “bats.”

The giant bicycle-style wheels in front of the tank did prove effective for traversing a variety of terrains. But they severely limited the firing range of the 12 water-cooled machine guns situated in between the massive wheels. Thanks to two 250-horsepower Sunbeam engines powering either wheel, the Tsar could reach a respectable speed of up to 10.5 mph.

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Fastboy

But mobility eventually doomed the Tsar.

When testing began in a forest outside Moscow, the rear wheel became mired in soft soil. Despite the Russian military’s best efforts to free the 60-ton behemoth, it remained in that spot until 1923, when it was sold for scrap.

The Boirault Machine

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The French also had their own ideas about what a mobile weapons platform should look like.

In 1914, a few months before Britain began work on the “Little Willy” tank that would set the precedent for modern tanks, French engineer Louis Boirault presented the French War Ministry with plans for the Boirault Machine.

Boirault’s tank design was 26 feet high and has been described as a rhomboid-shaped skeleton tank without armor, with a single overhead track.” The machine weighed a whopping 30 tons and was powered by a single 80-horsepower motor, which enabled the craft to move at a leisurely rate of less than 1 mph.

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A side view of the Boirault moving over a trench. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The singular tracked “wheel” that encompassed the Boirault was nearly 80 feet long and had a cumbersome 330 foot turn radius, earning it the nickname “Diplodocus Militarus,” after one of the longest and most sluggish dinosaurs.

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The Boirault did have success in crossing trenches and trampling barbed wire. But more conventional tanks were taking shape around Europe by 1915, and the French War Ministry abandoned the project.

The Screw Tank

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GIF: Wikimedia Commons/Бага

Before tracked wheels came into prominence as the most efficient way to traverse difficult terrain, there was some exploration into corkscrew-driven machines that could twist and crush their way through ice, snow, and mud. As early as 1899 patents were filed for agricultural machines that used auger-like wheels for work in the fields.

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Photo: Wikimedia/Office of Stategic Services

In the 1920s, the Armstead Snow-Motor kit made waves across the Northern US and Canada as a screw-driven tractor that could haul up to 20 tons through unwelcoming northern conditions.

Then, in World War II, the unorthodox inventor Geoffrey Pyke worked with the US military to developed a screw-driven tank to pass over ice and snow in Northern Europe.

The tank made it to a prototype stage but was never fully realized, and it died on the drawing board.

Recently, the idea of a screw tank has resurfaced, with the Russians seemingly perfecting the design as illustrated in the video below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbDe5dEu07I

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The best World War I airplanes

World War One airplanes began as primitive, unarmed artillery spotters that could barely take offensive action – and ended as powerful bombers and sleek modern fighters. Germany, the UK, and France led the way in aircraft development, creating iconic aircraft like the SPAD, Sopwith Camel, and the scourge of allied pilots, the German Fokker.


This was a time when air-to-air combat was quite literally being made up as pilots went along. The first fighter planes were little more than lumbering artillery spotters with an extra man carrying a revolver. Soon, the interrupter gear was invented, giving aircraft the ability to shoot through their propellers. German technology quickly took control of the skies, first in the “Fokker scourge” of 1916, then “Bloody April” 1917. But Allied pilots fought back, and by the end of the war, both sides had thousands of the most sophisticated planes available, and experienced pilots to fly them.

Aircraft technology developed so quickly that fighters would be rolled out in mass quantities, and be obsolete by the time they were actually used. Even so, the war pioneered many of the tactics used in World War 2 aircraft, including heavy bombers escorted by fighters, deep-penetration reconnaissance planes, night fighters and bombers, and innovative technology.

Here are some of the most important, widely-produced, iconic, and effective planes of World War 1. Vote up your favorites or add your own.

The Best World War 1 Airplanes

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