Sometimes we have to reclaim our ambitions, because it’s so easy to lose them while we do everything else required of us. Nothing can prepare you for the journey ahead as a military spouse—except for time and space. But what you do with and during that time and space, to include the choices you make along the way, will shape and define you.
One day, you’re building a career, curating a treasure chest of family memories, settling into your new duty assignment—maybe even bumping into people at the grocery that you know or call friends, and then BOOM: PCS orders to a duty station that wasn’t even on your “Top Ten” list.
Also Read: A simple list of military child and family support resources for trying times
Soon after, the mind begins to shift and looks ahead.
The next day, you’re researching the best schools for your kids while looking for adequate housing that accommodates your family size within BAH and proximity to the new duty station.
It might all be a blur, and you might be anxiety-riddled.
But while you try your hardest to manage the sudden disruption of any semblance of normalcy, it never dawns on you to prioritize your own needs because good military spouses keep going, suck it up, and figure it out. Sadly, we run a higher risk of losing our identities because we’re hyper-focused on everyone else.
We don’t have time to get stuck in our heads because those orders activate the entire family unit. That’s how we’re conditioned: to keep moving forward and take the lead in support of our service members’ success. Unfortunately, that is a grave mistake that so many military spouses feel there’s no alternative.
Losing one’s self and identity is a dangerous path. Having a career, a dream of your own, and putting in the work towards reaching your goals might sound self-centered when you’re indoctrinated to put mission first, but it’s quite the contrary.
Military spouses are unicorns, so it’s imperative to recognize your added value, worth in gold, and innate ability to balance it all. The most difficult transition for military spouses is reclaiming their own ambitions and committing to working towards their goals.
Here’s a quick four-component action plan to reclaim your ambitions:
- Take advantage of every opportunity available to sharpen your skills, knowledge, understanding, and most importantly, don’t you dare lose sight of what you need.
- Set personal goals for yourself: know what you want and who you’re meant to be.
- Craft your identity by prioritizing your beliefs, goals, and values.
- Prioritize yourself for once. Your family will thank you. And your future self will thank you for not giving up and putting in the work. Your family will see you put the modeled behavior you want your children to witness into practice.
If you’re reading this and realizing you’ve consistently put yourself last, it’s never too late to start your own mentality transition. Below are a few outstanding resources, authored by Mighty MilSpouse professionals, featured in the Career tab to encourage you as you go through the action plan above:
- This c-suite milspouse ensures her company hires veterans and other spouses by Bethaney Phillips
- 7 ways military spouses work in a totally different universe by Adam Gramegna
- How milspouses can adapt and thrive under new OPM resume rules by Tamika Sherman
These four action steps will help you springboard into your next chapter. Allow yourself access to opportunities, new experiences, and mindsets to self-actualize. Your future self will thank you.
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