Every Monday morning in the United States Army, companies gather around their battalion motor pool to conduct maintenance on their vehicles. On paper, the NCOs have the drivers of each and every vehicle perform a PMCS, or preventive maintenance checks and services, to find any deficiencies in their Humvee or LMTV. In reality, the lower-enlisted often just pop open the hood, check to see if it has windshield-wiper fluid, and sit inside to "test" the air conditioning.

Not to rat anyone out or anything — because basically everyone with the rank of specialist does it — but there's a legitimate reason the chain of command keeps it on the schedule each week, and it's not to kill time until the gut truck arrives.


The biggest reason why the troops need to conduct a PMCS is to help the mechanics in the unit determine which vehicles need repairs. A platoon of mechanics can't honestly be expected to monitor and address each and every fault across a 200-plus vehicle motor pool. Sharing the responsibility among all troops in the battalion means that more attention can be given to the problems that need them.

If there is a deficiency found within a vehicle, then it can be brought to the mechanics. If it's something simple, like low fluid levels, the mechanics can just give the troops the tools they need to handle the minor things.

It's then on the mechanics to handle the serious problems. And trust me, mechanics are rarely sitting on their asses waiting for new vehicles to fix. They've got a lot of actual issues to worry about.

Say a vehicle does eventually break down (which it will — thank the lowest bidder), the mechanics are the ones taking the ass-chewing. Sure, whoever was assigned that vehicle may catch a little crap, but the the mechanic is also taking their lashing — all because someone else skimmed through the checklist and said it was "fine." So, if you don't want to blue falcon your fellow soldier, do your part.

Having a vehicle deadline is terrible — but having a vehicle break down in the middle of the road is much worse. If you want to be certain that the vehicle is operational, you should probably give it a test drive around the motor pool to check the engine and brakes. If you can't take it out for a spin, there are a number of major issues that you can see just by opening the hood and kicking the tires.

Even if you're strongly opposed to putting in extra effort, the two costliest defects can be found just by looking around the vehicle. If you're going to sham, at least check to see if there are any fluids leaking or if the tires are filled.

If it's leaking, well, at least let the mechanic know before you make a made dash for the gut truck.

(Meme via Vet Humor)