Widgets Magazine
MIGHTY CULTURE

This is the injury that Jodies everywhere should fear

(YouTube/Lee Baines and James Heiman, MD, CC BY-SA 4.0)

We're all familiar with the story of Joe D. Grinder, right? Joe the Grinder was a fictional ladies' man who seduced the wives of hard-working men, prisoners, and soldiers while the husbands were away. The character dates back to the 1930s, and is a staple of the military where he's known as "Jody." Turns out, there's an injury named for jerks exactly like that.


It's known as either the "Lover's Fracture" or the "Don Juan Fracture." And it's so named because if you jump out of a second- or third-story window because the spouse of your lover just got home, you're probably going to suffer the fracture yourself.

It's a break of the heel bone, specifically the calcaneus. It's diagnosed with X-rays, but symptoms include pain, bruising, and trouble walking. But best-case scenario when we're talking about a recently active Jody, the fracture commonly happens at the same time as fractures in the hips and backs.

So, yeah, Jody's gonna have a lot of trouble walking when his heel, hips, and back are all fractured at the same time.

Usually, we don't root for other people to be severely injured. But we're willing to make exceptions when it comes to Jody. Seriously, military marriages have enough stress without some jerk flying circles over them like vultures, waiting for deployments or other stress.

No one needs Jody around. And if he wanted healthy heels, he should have learned to do a parachute landing fall or dated single women. When a stranger sleeps with paratroopers' wives, he should learn to jump like one. And that goes for female Jodies as much as the male ones. And while we're not rooting for anyone to inflict physical violence on someone else outside of combat, a 10- or 20-foot fall is likely safer than being captured by an irate Marine. Or soldier, sailor, airman, or Coastie.