5 ways your platoon would be different with Rambo in charge

The early 1980s brought us some epic action movies like “Conan the Barbarian,” “Blade Runner,” and let’s not forget “E.T.”

Although these films were fun to watch, they didn’t have the impact on veterans like the movie “First Blood” did.

Directed by Ted Kotcheff, John J. Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) was a former Green Beret who just wanted to visit his Vietnam buddy when things took a turn for the worse and he ended up battling a small town’s police force after an unlawful arrest.

Rambo is a badass — case closed.

Related: 5 heroic movie acts a military officer would never do

But we’ve always wondered what it would have been like to serve under his command. Here’s our take on how being in Rambo’s platoon would be.

1. Alternate shooting techniques

In most boot camps we’re taught proper weapons handling. But forget all those safety briefs you were forced to listen to when Capt. Rambo reports in as the new commanding officer, because every shot you fire from here on out will be from your hip.

Plus it looks awesome if you can handle the recoil. (Giphy)

2. No bayonets

Having the ability to mount a knife on the barrel of your rifle isn’t enough.

If you were in Rambo’s company, your blade would have to be up to such standards that it can slice a bad guy up and be thrown across the room with perfect precision.

Aim for the center mass  (Giphy)

3. Your new sidearm

Rambo is going to require you to replace your 9mm service pistol with a crazy deadly bow and arrow that will make your enemy blow up wherever they stand.

What a sh*tty way to die. (Giphy)

4. Uniform changes

You must be shirtless at all times when you go to war. That is all.

It’s time to gear up and get in the fight! (Giphy)

Also Read: 5 epic military movie mistakes

5. No sick call

You won’t be allowed to go to medical to get patched up if you have some needle and thread handy — you’ll just do it yourself.

Going to the hospital is for p*ssies (Giphy)
Can you think of any others? Comment below.

TOP ARTICLES
The 13 funniest memes for the week of Sept. 22

Kim Jong Un has an H-Bomb. These good ol' fashioned military memes will make your last few moments less excruciating. Memes are proven to cool hydrogen burns.

How Taco Bell influenced a rapper to become a Marine

In this episode of the Mandatory Fun podcast, we speak with The Marine Rapper a.k.a. TMR about how he went from wrapping tacos to rapping music lyrics.

These are the best military photos for the week of September 23

The military has very talented photographers in the ranks, and they’re always capturing what life as a service member is like during training and at war. Here are the best military photos of the week.

The US just sent 2,200 of these Fort Bragg paratroopers to Afghanistan

Approximately 2,200 82nd Airborne Division paratroopers began quietly deploying this month, part of a long-discussed troop surge to Afghanistan.

The Marines just took a look at this Civil War battlefield to learn military lessons for the future

The battle, which involved 18,456 mounted troops and was the largest cavalry clash in North America, also remains largely unknown by today's students of military history.

The Air Force is finally getting with the program and planning for urban fights

Air Force Chief of Staff David Goldfein has added urban warfare to his list of top focus areas, predicting that much of the world will live in megacities.

How we found out it's not so easy to fly a Reaper drone

Let's just say computer flight simulator games don't provide enough experience to make a good landing.

Here's what the Marines of 'Full Metal Jacket' are doing today

The Marines killed the enemy together, laughed together, and shared a Da Nang hooker together. But what happened to them after the war? You're about to find out.

Army ditches search for 7.62 battle rifle — for now

Less than two months after the Army issued a request from industry to provide up to 50,000 7.62 battle rifles, sources say the service has pulled the plug on the program.

Navy chief says crew fatigue may have contributed to recent spate of ship collisions

US Navy is blaming high pace of operations, budget uncertainty, and naval leaders who put their mission over safety after multiple deadly incidents at sea.

THE MIGHTY SURVEY GIVE-AWAY

We want to hear your thoughts. Complete our survey for a chance to win 1 of 5 gaming consoles

COMPLETE SURVEY TO WIN