14 times ‘Independence Day’ perfectly captured the US military

Logan Nye
Jan 24, 2019 6:23 PM PST
1 minute read
14 times ‘Independence Day’ perfectly captured the US military

SUMMARY

Yes, the movie has uniform errors and some technical mistakes. But, for a film about space aliens and government conspiracies, “Independence Day” actually represents the modern American military pretty accurately. 1. (1:00) Ame…

Yes, the movie has uniform errors and some technical mistakes. But, for a film about space aliens and government conspiracies, "Independence Day" actually represents the modern American military pretty accurately.


1. (1:00) America's next great enemy begins its attack by waltzing past former U.S. military positions unopposed.

Photo: Youtube.com

Seriously, the moon used to be America's playground, then we abandoned it. If we had just left a residual force on the moon, we could've caught the alien menace and rooted it out before it got a foothold. Thanks, Obama.

2. (7:15) America's problems start with the enemy attacking satellites.

Photo: Youtube.com

Whether it's China shooting a satellite with a missile or the aliens crashing into satellites, America suddenly faces some serious competition in orbit.

3. (9:25) U.S. communications equipment is quietly sabotaged.

Photo: Youtube.com

China steals data, the aliens quietly broadcast data to control a countdown. It's different sides of the same coin.

4. (12:20) Washington splits into Hawks and Doves before anyone has any idea what's going on. Marine general rolls his eyes.

One civilian: Let's just ignore it.

Another civilian: Lets kill it with missiles!

Chairman of the Joint Chiefs: You're all idiots.

5. (14:53) The U.S. has no clue what is happening in Russia until it shows up on the news.

Photo: Youtube.com

Guy: Mr. President! You might want to see this!

Cut to T.V. screen showing spaceship over Moscow.

Guy: There are aliens over Moscow?

Um, did you not know those spaceships were there before? They're kilometers wide and you watched them enter earth's atmosphere, headed that direction. And you didn't realize where they went until it showed up on the news? You have spies and embassies and stuff right?

6. (17:30) Plan for the alien threat is "God help us" until someone can think of something better. No need to put together a working group or anything.

Chairman of the Joint Chiefs: And what happens if the aliens do become hostile?

President: Then god help us.

Chairman: Oh, well. It'll just be IEDs all over again, then. A huge threat that we just hope will go away until a few thousand people or more are dead.

7. (24:30) Marine assumes everyone around him is running because they're cowards. Doesn't even entertain the thought that they may know something he doesn't.

8. (35:43) The Marine's girlfriend is a stripper.

Photo: Youtube.com

9. (53:00) Marines are too busy cutting jokes to pay attention to the mission briefing.

This is despite the fact that the enemy has already destroyed three cities and the Marines are about to fight an enemy that neither they nor any other human has ever faced.

10. (1:09:00) The Air Force and CIA were collecting intelligence on aliens for decades but didn't share information with any decision makers when aliens showed up.

11. (1:44:00) All the other world militaries have consolidated their forces into mobile, international strike groups that can hide from alien incursions. America has kept their troops segregated from foreign forces and consolidated on fixed military installations.

12. (1:44:15) Other militaries of the world let America take the lead. Because, 'Murica and apple pie.

Photo: Youtube.com

O.K., this scene is obviously super 'Murica. But it seems like at least one or two of the other countries would have doubted the American plan or been reluctant to follow the U.S. into a questionable scheme. And they certainly would have been working on their own plans that may be better than, "We'll use a human computer to infect an alien computer because we don't know how computer code works."

13. (1:51:04) Combat pilot won't start the world-saving mission until he gets his cigars, fulfilling his superstitions.

14. (2:12:30) Americans celebrate their victory without reservation, ignoring the fact that it came at the cost of dozens of American pilots' lives. They also conveniently forget that there could be smaller alien ships still flying around the world. Those fighters you just parked would probably be useful in presence patrols to protect the very limited number of survivors.

Happy Independence Day, folks. Now watch one of the most motivating speeches in military movie history:

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