Imagine a priesthood where they wear uniforms like the Navy’s, are disciplined like Marines, do as much real work to advance a mission as any nonner in the Air Force, are worked like Army privates with none of the pay and benefits, and get as much respect from the rest of the branches as the Coast Guard.
Also Read: The original US Navy was an armada of American rebels and privateers
If that sounds appealing, you’re ready for Scientology’s Sea Organization, a paramilitary “fraternal organization” comprised of the most devoted Scientology has to offer. If you’re gonna attain the highest levels of OT, you better get your sea org legs ready.
With a reported 6,000 members, the Sea Org is Scientology’s version of a religious order. The symbol of two palm fronds around a star is supposedly the emblem of a Galactic Confederacy that died out 75 million years ago. Led by the space lord Xenu, the Galactic Confederacy killed a lot of people with hydrogen bombs in a volcano.
Or something.
Yes, it sounds ridiculous, but so do a lot of religions if you think about it. We’re not here to make fun of religion; we’re here to talk about this particular one’s Xenu-damned Navy.
The Sea Org’s Origin Story
Where would any service be without its creation story? The wild blue yonder, the halls of Montezuma, Valley Forge, Custer’s Ranks, last night on shore, drinking to the foam, and all that. No service is complete without its mythology.
Keep in mind, the Sea Org is only 20 years younger than the Air Force and probably richer, since Scientology didn’t develop a trillion-dollar fighter that didn’t get an air-to-air kill for more than a decade.
The Sea Org began in 1967 when founder L. Ron Hubbard (or LRH to his followers), science fiction writer and Navy veteran (like his father) who served during World War II, launched his own private naval force and declared himself commodore. The Church of Scientology was founded just 13 years prior, and Hubbard staffed his ships with volunteer Scientologists, reportedly looking for buried treasure from one of LRH’s previous lifetimes.
Hubbard commanded four ships, the Diana, Athena, Apollo, and Excalibur, for eight years, cruising the Mediterranean, either existing on a diet of a lot of drugs, evading UK taxes, or looking for a safe haven for his beliefs, depending on who you ask. You may not like it, but commanding a four-ship squadron makes him a commodore.
“I was on the bridge with him, sailing past Greek islands,” Scientology defector Janis Grady, a former Sea Org member, told the New Yorker. “There were crosses lining one island. He told me that under each cross is buried treasure.”
Sea Org Recruiting
The Sea Org actively seeks young, able-bodied individuals to fill its ranks. In her book “Troublemaker,” actress Leah Remini, who was born into Scientology, notes she was recruited into the Sea Org at age 13. According to Remini, Scientologists consider minors to be spiritual beings responsible for their own condition in life and can make decisions for themselves.
As a result, many don’t go to traditional schools and instead attend Scientology schools. This might not be so bad, if a Sea Org member could retire after doing their 20, but they don’t. Ever. Retire. Like, at all.
Sea Org members don’t do just 20 years. Remember how incensed some people in basic training were, complaining how their recruiters lied to them? Sea Org recruiters at least have the decency to tell you the truth when you sign a billion-year enlistment contract. And since Sea Org members are expected to reincarnate, they owe all their next lives to the Sea Org for the next billion years.
Way to Blue Falcon your future selves. I hope the reenlistment bonus is worth it. The U.S. Navy would kill for those kinds of enlistment terms.
Basic Training in Scientology’s Navy
Trainees are sent to the Estates Project Force, or EPF, at a dumpy-looking motel in Clearwater, Florida (also dubbed “Flag”), where they do 12 hours of manual labor a day and 2.5 hours of Scientology study until they complete the courses. They eat rice and beans or liquid eggs every day.
Remini recalled having to steal food because she wasn’t fed enough. Twenty years later, she would admit to the theft in a “transgression session” (which is way less fun than it sounds), and was voluntold to repay three months of custard and hamburgers to the tune of $40,000 so she could level up.
So just like Uncle Sam, when you owe Scientology, they take what you owe them without mercy. It’s called a “Freeloader’s Debt.” Nothing beats a Leave and Earnings Statement with fifty cents on it.
Imagine spending three months with people you hate, cleaning and managing a Days Inn you don’t own, while going to night school for a made-up subject and being forced to do things like “scrubbing a dumpster with a toothbrush till late at night,” then “getting up at six to do laundry.”
With the exception of Sea Org pay being a far cry from E-1 pay (around $50 a week), Sea Org basic training may still sound a little familiar, except basic training sometimes never ends. One defector describes the order as “pseduo-military butlers.“
But seriously, the only reason it isn’t slavery is because the Sea Org recruits volunteered. For a billion years. The good news is there are plenty of ranks to move up to. It’s unclear just how one moves up in rank, except for the obvious Scientology method of paying a ton of money for the privilege.
Sea Org Culture
Remini, like many others, say they joined the Sea Org to help “clear the planet.” Or save the world. They’re young and idealistic. They believe LRH has secrets to save the world, and the Sea Org is central to those secrets, and the Church really wants to help you. They come into the Sea Org and start learning the truth right away.
Unlike the real Navy, no one ever gets to become a “salty” NCO.
Since members of the Sea Org get very little in the way of education and are entirely devoted to the Church and its functions, those who leave (or “blow” as they say) find themselves unable to manage even the most basic of adult tasks, like keeping a job or paying their bills. Many have little to no formal education or skills with which to get a job in the first place.
In her book, Remini reminisced about playing pranks on other Sea Org members. I wonder if they ever sent a recruit out to get a box of grid squares, to get some prop wash, or to find Shelly Miscavige.
Sea Org Members are not allowed to have premarital sex. They can marry, but if they want to have kids, they have to leave the Sea Org, because if LRH wanted you to have a family, he would have issued you one.
Sea Org Medals
In 2004, Tom Cruise was awarded the Freedom Medal of Valor, which sounds stupid the first time you hear it. And also the second.
Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence
Scientology Slang and Acronyms
Scientology doesn’t have POGs, but they have their own version of them. According to Remini, Tom Cruise was once served a chipped teacup. His response: “‘You served me tea in a chipped mug? Do you know who gets served with a mug that’s chipped? F*cking DBs.”
DB, in Scientology parlance, means Degraded Being, someone so infested with Body Thetans (evil spirits) as to be unauditable or insane. Unauditable, we believe, means they can’t be spiritually cleansed under the auspices of Scientology.
Cruise’s ex-wife Nicole Kidman, and now Remini (along with many others, and probably myself now too), are called “SPs,” or “Suppressive Persons.”
In the actual military, if being openly hostile to the service or to your fellow service members gets you declared a social outcast, then everyone in the military would have to ignore each other for the next billion years.
The Sea Org developed its own acronyms over the years, you know, to keep things simple. For example:
KSW – Keeping Scientology Working
LRH – L. Ron Hubbard
PTS – Potential Trouble Source
COB – Chairman of the Board (David Miscavige)
RPF – Rehabilitation Project Force
MAA – Master at Arms, etc.
For example, if an EPF member messes up badly enough, the MAA will send them to RPF, where they’ll do MEST work.
Did you find that sentence confusing? That’s what you currently sound like to civilians.
The Fleet
The only ship left in Scientology’s fleet is the Freewinds, an asbestos-ridden heap anchored at Curacao, causing irreparable environmental damage. Unfortunately for the locals there, the Freewinds is the only place a Scientologist can learn Operating Thetan Level VIII, the highest operating level.
This is where you can reportedly drop thoughts into people’s heads and talk to plants and animals.
It turns out most of the modern Sea Org doesn’t really serve on the ocean, kinda like the Coast Guard but with more respect.
When researching their training regimen, “sailing,” “seamanship,” or “ships” never really come up. The only time “water” appears is when the Sea Org is trying to discipline people; they throw them into the ocean.
That’s esprit de corps right there.
So, potential Sea Org cadet, until we meet once more, here’s wishing you a happy voyage home… Now go clean my toilet and get me a new coffee mug, you f*cking DB, before I have you sent to Gold Base so fast you’ll wish the COB would just RPF you to death.
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