A guide to Gold Star Mother’s Day

The last Sunday in September is a day that no parent wants to observe. Gold Star Mothers Day is a day to reflect on the sacrifices of military families. Specifically, it's a day to honor mothers who have lost service members to combat. 

Each year, events, observances, and meetings are held around the country for Gold Star Mothers and their families.

Service flags are banners that family members of service members display. The flag is white with a red border and includes either a blue or gold star. 

Blue stars are added for each family member serving in the military during any period of hostility or war. 

Gold stars with blue edges represent family members who die in military operations. These specific service flags can be used to honor service members who lost their lives in World Wars I and II. Families can display gold stars to honor fallen service members who died while engaged in action against America's enemies. Gold stars are also authorized for deceased service members who lost their lives while involved in military operations with opposing forces. Additionally, serving with friendly foreign forces engaged in conflict qualifies as well. Service members who served after 1973 can display gold stars if the service member died as a result of international terrorist attacks against America or military operations while serving outside the United States as part of peacekeeping forces. 

The Gold Star is a service flag that's long been used in America's military community. When America entered WWI, flags quickly became a way for families to signal to others in their communities and neighborhoods that they had a loved one deployed. A blue star flag meant someone was overseas. If a family had several deployed, additional stars were added to the flag. However, if a family learned a loved one died in action, the star color changed from blue to gold. 

These days, service flags have expanded to include non-profit organizations like Gold Star Mothers, Gold Star Wives, Blue Star Mothers, and Blue Star Wives. 

When Grace Darlingson's son, George Vaughn Seibold, volunteered for WWI, she immediately sought ways to help her wider military community. First, she started visiting veterans in the greater National Capital Region, often sitting with them for hours, hoping her presence might be a balm. 

George faithfully sent back letters to his mother until one day, they stopped. Of course, Grace feared the worst. His remains were never recovered. 

Because of her work with the NCR veterans, Grace quickly understood that grieving alone would not provide her with any closure. So, she and 25 other grieving mothers created a formal organization to help them collectively deal with grief. 

On June 4, 1928, Grace Darling and nearly thirty other grieving mothers founded the American Gold Star Mothers non-profit organization. Just half a year later, American Gold Star Mothers incorporated under the laws of the District of Columbia. Within 90 days, the organization more than tripled in size. Presently, the organization holds a Charter from Congress under Title 36 of the United States Code.

With a mission to inspire "true allegiance to the United States of America," this organization aims to educate Americans about the specific challenges of being a Gold Star Mother. To aid in this, Gold Star Mothers hold an annual convention with events centered around Veterans Day and Gold Star Mother's Day. The group has an active partnership with Wreaths Across America as well. Together with other partner groups, AGSM helps lay wreaths at both Arlington National Cemetery and other military cemeteries in America and abroad. Find out more about Arlington National Cemetery here.

Membership is open to female American citizens or legal residents who lost a child in active military service, regardless of the time or place. Mothers of service members missing in action can join the group as well.

Non-adoption stepmothers who cared for a service member before they turned 15 can become members. Honorary membership is offered to non-citizen and non-legal resident mothers as well. Husbands and children of Gold Star Mothers can join as Associate Members. 

When the National Gold Star Family Registry launched in 2010, its founders recognized a need for families to have a way to search for information about their fallen heroes. It's the most extensive directory of service members who have died in combat since World War II. 

Educational resources on the lives of service members, as well as personal accounts, are also provided. This might help future generations better understand our country's heroes. 

Gold Star Mother’s Day is observed on the last Sunday of September.

AGSM is a private non-profit organization that is a way for mothers of fallen service members to collectively share in their grief.

According to the Maryland Gold Star Mothers organization, "White symbolizes peace, the one thing that Gold Star Mothers of every generation have prayed for, and white reflects both the sacrifices of their children and the grace, purity and innocence of those who have died so young to create a world of freedom."

The manor is located in Long Beach, California. It’s a 348-unit retirement home for the parents of service members who have died in action.