4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members - We Are The Mighty
Humor

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

Air Force enlisted members’ gripes are very different from those in other branches of the military. The Air Force is well-known for the mountains of paperwork it continually throws on personnel. If there is a process, there’s always a checklist and multiple forms that need to be filled out before anyone makes a physical move.


Training, discipline, and upward mobility also tend to come with piles of paperwork.

1. Letters of Counseling (LOCs)

Passive aggression might as well be one of the Air Force’s trademarks. Instead of a good ol’ reprimanding and yelling, the Air Force presents a typed letter that resembles a court document that details your indiscretion. The letter of counseling is given to personnel by their supervisor, usually after they do something that is out of regulation or just pisses them off personally.

 

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Might as well give the whole squadron one just to prepare them for the feeling.

Since some supervisors feel like they have control over their subordinates’ military careers, there are many times where Airmen get LOCs for absolutely nothing. Sometimes, it comes down to how much of an as*hole their supervisor is. Other times, the LOC might be valid (like coming into duty hungover). Either way, a LOC is kept in the member’s personal information file and can affect promotions if they get too many.

2. EPR bullet writing

The time of year every enlisted member dreads in the Air Force is when their Enlisted Performance Report is due. The EPR consists of categories of performance that require 4-6 bullets centered on accomplishments in selected areas. You would figure, given the nature of performance reviews, that the brunt of the work would be done by the services member’s supervisor. The majority of the time, however, the member has to write their own bullets and send forward a draft, which their supervisor then corrects.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Your guess is as good as mine.

Sometimes, the bullets are a complete fabrication of what was actually accomplished. For example, taking out the trash in Air Force EPR bullet form could be written as, “member’s continued responsibility in daily detail work successfully improved overall mission accomplishment by 70%.”

Plain and simple, EPRs are a pain in the ass.

3. Death by PowerPoint

Please, please, please, Air Force; stop it already with the PowerPoint presentations.

Want to fall asleep? Go to an Air Force squadron on any day of the week. Chances are, there’s a PowerPoint presentation going on somewhere in the building. PowerPoints relay heaps of information over the course of an hour or two and presenters expect personnel to retain all the information like sponges.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
No one wants to to discuss anything, they just want to go to lunch.

It’s not hard to gauge the involvement level of PowerPoint presentations. Usually, half of the room is asleep by the end of it all. Watch it, though: Sleeping through presentations can get you an LOC.

4. CBTs

CBTs are computer-based trainings. Yes, this a requirement in the Air Force, too. It may sound ridiculous — at times, it is — but enlisted members have a number of CBTs they are required to remain current in annually, biannually, and before deployments.

You read that right: Before deployments, you have to complete computer-based training.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Hopefully, command is smart enough to know this is common.

Since there are so many requirements and no one is getting deployed or qualified until training is complete, the obvious habit is to just click through slides. CBTs certainly are a small sample of an Airman’s personal hell.

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4 insane things service members can do to stay awake

Not all deployments are created equal. Some troops primarily work at a desk performing critical operational tasks, while others are out and about undertaking various missions in the bush. Regardless, both schedules usually consist of long hours and a heavy workload which can run anybody down.


No matter the nature of the mission, staying in the fight and being alert is the key for any personnel deployed.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Cpl Daniel, a fire team leader, 1st Squad, 2nd Platoon, Alpha Company, 1st Battalion, 8th Marines, posts security while members of the Afghan Narcotics Interdiction Unit search a compound during Operation Speargun in Urmuz, Afghanistan.

So if you’re worried about falling asleep when you need to be at your best, check out these simple tricks of the trade to stay awake whole on deployment.


1. Bangin energy drinks

May seem obvious to the average population that drinking a Redbull or pounding a Monster will get their minds firing on all cylinders. But in most cases, deployed troops just don’t sip a single energy drink — they take it to a whole new level by chugging multiple cans of the all mighty Rip-it.

Splashing water on your face works well too — but that’s no fun.

2. Coffee lip

One ration the military never seems to ever run off of is coffee.

When you’re occupying a patrol base or sitting in a fighting hole, coffee machines will be scarce. So instead of filtering water through the grounds, pack a solid pinch of instant coffee from the ole handy dandy MREs into your lip. It tastes like sh*t, but it can help you keep shuteye at bay.

3. “Spicy eyes”

This doesn’t refer to “the look” that civilian reporter who came by the FOB to interview the colonel gave everyone. It means sprinkling a small amount of Tabasco sauce onto your finger and rubbing the contents under your eyes. Spicy!

If it burns a little and wakes you back up, you’re doing it right.

4. Pain

There’s nothing worse than drifting off while on post.

In fact, if you get caught sleeping, that’s a crucial offense. The human body has a natural way of rejuvenating itself by excreting adrenaline into the blood stream. You can accomplish this by pinching yourself, or if that doesn’t work, delivering a light love tap across your cheek.

It might seem a bit extreme, but it could also save your life and the lives of your comrades.

Can you think of any others? Comment below.


Humor

4 hilarious tips for pulling the ‘veteran card’ in school

Going to college is a huge step in every veteran’s life after they get out of the military. You just finished serving your country, now you can go to school full time and get it completely paid for – and get paid while you’re doing it.


We earned a pretty epic deal.

But the benefits of being a veteran don’t have to stop there. If you play your cards right, you can flex your “veteran” title and receive some less-than-official bonuses.

Related: Here’s the best time and place to pull the ‘veteran card’

Check out these insightful ways to pull the veteran card in your school – but please use these tips for good and not evil.

1. Getting accepted

Colleges around the country tend to have a strict application process which weed out many student hopefuls. Having the government willing to pay your full tuition is a huge benefit in the school’s eyes — everyone likes to get paid.

It’s a fact.

It’s important that you fill out all the necessary paperwork in a timely order or risk sitting at home for a whole semester.

Please stop clapping like that — its only community college. (Image via Giphy)

2. Receiving extra time for homework and other projects

The majority of colleges have procedures in place for veterans who have “focus issues,” which is great. As long as you let your teachers and the school’s administration know you may have this issue because of your deployments, the more lee way you’re bound to get.

We know you do! (Image via Giphy)

3. Booking classes

Sometimes classes just fill up too quickly, and a veteran can’t register for one of the spots in time — we know it sucks.

Here’s what you do — tell whoever is in charge of booking the classes that you won’t get your monthly VA benefits unless you can get in, followed by the sweetest smile you can muster.

It so freakin’ worked. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 7 phrases old school veterans can’t stop saying

4. Missing classes

Sometimes you don’t want to go to school on certain days — you’re just not feeling it.

Here’s what you do if you’re willing to put in a little leg work. After you get in good with the teachers, email them saying you’re stuck at the VA waiting for your appointment.

If they ask for a doctor’s note, you need to show some proof like a dated appointment card for another day. Schools tend to work around the veteran’s schedule because we’ve earned it.

Don’t abuse this perk because if they lose faith in your integrity, you could screw other vets over.

That’s what you get. (Images via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

7 reasons why social media is the devil while on a deployment

When you’re on deployment in the middle of nowhere, calling friends and family can be challenging. The satellite phones might be down for various reasons — or since you’re probably in different time zones — the person you’re trying to reach has been in bed for hours.


Get used to it because you have six more months until you rotate home.

As more and more people use social media these days versus talking on the phone, new problems will surface for our deployment service members — all because of freakin’ social media.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

Related: These simple luxuries can make your next deployment tolerable

Check out seven reasons why social media is the f*ckin’ devil while on a deployment.

1. Fake news can be a bummer. You can’t trust everything you read, so check the sources before you spread a rumor about a hot celebrity dying to the rest of our platoon.

I guess he told her. (Image via Giphy)

2. You could have gotten dumped weeks ago without even knowing it. Troops get dumped all the time over social media (which is really messed up, by the way).

The face of heartbreak. (Image via Giphy)

3. You don’t want to see your friends having a good time without you.

Yup. It can be a bummer. (Image via Giphy)

4. Being reminded of all the things you’re missing out on.

#thestruggleisreal (Image via Giphy)

5. You could get in trouble for posting cool deployment pictures or video that you weren’t supposed to.

No more posting firefights for the rest of the deployment. (Image via Giphy)

6. You could enter “blackout” times and areas after reading an important message and you’re unable to respond.

The suspense is killin’ me! (Image via Giphy)

Also Read: 7 things we did on deployment we’re totally proud of

7. You’re constantly on an internet timer because other people are waiting to get on too. So you have to get back in line to log back on.

It’s brutal.
Humor

This is what happened to the soldiers from the ‘Hurt Locker’

In 2008, filmmaker Kathryn Bigelow directed a film called “Hurt Locker” about a hotshot soldier who went above and beyond his bomb disposal duties while deployed to Iraq.


His passion for the job kept him in harm’s way as he defused hundreds of homemade explosives.

Although many veterans didn’t particularly enjoy the film (for technical reasons), many may have wondered what happened to the rogue EOD tech and the troops that once covered his six.

Well, we used our fictional WATM private investigators to look for the troops’ silver screen whereabouts, and here’s what they found.

Related: This is what the pilots from ‘Top Gun’ are doing today

FYI: Don’t take this literally.

Sgt. Matt Thompson

 

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
(Source: Summit Ent.)

Do remember that hotshot EOD tech who got blown up within the first 10 minutes of the story? Yeah, that was this guy. Well, turns out Thompson faked his death, and he was only using the Army to learn how to make and dispose of homemade bombs.

The government got wind of this intel, framed him, then wrongly convicted him on charges of conspiracy to commit espionage against the U.S.

They changed Thompson’s name to Snow — apparently no first name. After serving a few years in the federal penitentiary, the president’s hot daughter visited what was reportedly the most secured prison in history — located in space. Several violent inmates took her prisoner and the president recruited Snow to go in and rescue her.

No one saw that coming.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

 

After saving the president’s daughter, the government was now indebted to Snow and gave him a shit ton of money to start up a research lab.

The Army vet managed to formulate some good stuff, turning other veterans — and himself — into super humans that glow a bright reddish color.

 

Sgt. JT Sanborn

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
(Source: Summit Ent.)

Soon after returning from Iraq, Sanborn was given a battlefield commission for having to put up with so much crap from the EOD techs. It didn’t take long for this motivated soldier to move up the ranks. In fact, he made it to the rank of major within the same year.

That’s never happened before.

He was so badass the Army offered him a position in the security field working with a computer system called “Eagle Eye” that can track anybody anywhere all the freakin’ time.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

After a few civilians spotted some significant flaws in the sophisticated computer system and caused havoc, Sanborn decided to get out of the Army.

But he didn’t want to stop serving the veteran community or fighting bad guys, so he became what every veteran is capable of becoming.

A superhero falcon named Falcon.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

Spc. Owen Eldridge

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
(Source: Summit Ent.)

Eldrige had a pretty rough deployment in Iraq the year of the Hurt Locker. After returning from home, he grew out his mustache and used a little of his GI Bill to become a commercial airline pilot.

Unfortunately, he was paired with an alcoholic pilot and was involved in a severe crash.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

It took a while, but Eldrige made a full recovery. He was so impressed with the level of treatment he received, he moved to Chicago and used the rest of his GI Bill to pursue a career in law enforcement, eventually becoming a cop.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

Also Read: 62 glaring technical errors in ‘The Hurt Locker’

Staff Sgt. William James

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
(Source: Summit Ent.)

If you don’t remember this guy, you probably didn’t watch his story. After returning from another dangerous deployment, James made a few career changes because he didn’t know want he wanted in life.

He went from being a bank robber to a spy, to even becoming a diabetic a witch hunter.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

Yes, you could say James was lost for a long time after getting out of the Army.

The experiences of serving in all those different fields gained him a talent that would drive him into his next profession — an archery master superhero with excellent vision.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

Articles

6 things you didn’t know about sick call

“Hydrate, take Motrin and change your socks.”


Chances are you’ve heard this advice at one time or another. Service members visit sick call with issues ranging from upper respiratory infections to needing to have a toenail removed. With over 130 military installations located throughout the world, every soldier, airman, sailor or Marine has medical care readily accessible. 

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

If the troop in question needs to go to medical that day without an appointment, he or she is going to end up in an urgent care center commonly known as “Sick Call.” Here are six things you probably didn’t know about sick troops and the care they need to get back to work.

1. Thermometers 

You’re sitting on a patient table when a medical technician tells you to say “AHHHHHHH” before sticking a blue-handled thermometer under your tongue. But did you ever wonder why it was color coded?

The military purchases dual-function thermometers which are typically red and blue. The blue one is assigned to take your oral temp, where the red draws the short end of the stick and gets shoved up where the sun doesn’t shine. Not to fear, rectal temperature checks are primarily used on heat causalities.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
(Photo by Mass Communication Specialist Christopher L. Clark)

Better hope the nurse isn’t color blind because … that would suck. The photo above shows a member of the medical staff using the right color. A+.

2.  The “Feared Medical Condition Not Demonstrated”

Believe it or not, this is a real medical diagnosis. If you were to open your medical record right now and saw this term printed one or more times, chances are you were a “sick call commando.”  This isn’t the commando label you want to have.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

“Feared Medical Condition Not Demonstrated” is a polite way to inform other medical professionals they didn’t find anything wrong with you physically. You can try and tear out the paper from your record, but unless it was hand written, it’s in the computer system. For-ev-er.

3. “One Chief Complaint Only”

For those who don’t know, a “chief complaint” is the term used for the reason you showed up to medical. “I have a headache and I think I broke my foot.” From my direct experience working alongside seasoned doctors, some stated to the patient they weren’t allowed to treat more than one medical condition at each encounter. It’s also bull.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

This is regularly used as an excuse to get rid of you. You would likely have come back the next day for the second issue or visit the ER. Good thing Tricare covers both.

4. On The Job Training

Medical clinics commonly use the ideology of “show one, do one, teach one.” The doctor shows a new medic/corpsman/tech how to perform a procedure, they repeat it on another patient in front of the doctor, then go off and show someone else how to perform it. Sounds like a pretty good plan right? It was pretty darn helpful and a confidence builder for the lower enlisted.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

This type of training isn’t that rare, even in the civilian sector. What is rare is how many different procedures junior enlisted were allowed to perform “under doctor supervision” – who were usually warming up their afternoon coffee.

5. Service Connections

When the VA gathers its data to process your compensation claim, it may seem hard to believe, but they don’t hire a team of private detectives and Harvard-trained doctors to conduct an extensive investigation to ensure that you get the top rating you deserve.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Mind. Blown.

After submitting your claim, the VA board wants proof your condition was a result of your time on active duty. Missing sick call and other medical documents can cause a massive delay in reaching your service connection settlement. Cover your six and make copies of your copies.

6. Legal

You may remember the day when you walked into the Military Entrance Processing Command and signed your service contract. A proud day.

What you made not have realized is that those papers you signed included The Feres Doctrine.

The Feres Doctrine is a 1950s-era rule that protects the federal government from its employees collecting damages for personal injuries experienced in the performance of their duties. So if a military doctor screws up on you, you can’t sue the government, but they can charge you with an Article 108 (destruction of government property) for getting a new tattoo or a sunburn.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

You’re Welcome, America!

Humor

4 of the top reasons Chuck Norris is dead to me

Why do we worship Chuck Norris anyway? What has he ever done besides getting whopped by Bruce Lee in a bad sequel to Enter the Dragon?


When, exactly, did he become downright holy? I wish I could give you all the answers because he really grinds my gears!

Here are my top 4 reasons why Chuck Norris is dead to me:

Disclaimer: I am an Air Force veteran who spent the entirety of his 13 years in uniform as a Security Forces member. The following is written — and intended to be taken — in jest. I love Chuck Norris and I’ve actually been to his first Tae Kwan Do school. Also, we share a common duty unit (Osan, ROK).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Pictured: The last ass-whipping Chuck Norris ever took. (Image from Golden Harvest’s Return of the Dragon).

Related: 5 of the best moves from Air Force Combatives

4. The Chuck Norris meme phenomenon

Where did this come from? Did he start them himself? Who decided he was so cool? He’s literally the master of life, according to the internet and I need answers!

I just don’t understand it, and we all hate things we don’t understand, right?

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Don’t forget to look away — Chuck Norris once beat the sun in a staring contest.

3. Total Gym? Yeah… it bites!

Have you ever actually tried to use a Total Gym?

Did you pinch parts of yourself in the nest of cables and pulleys all while getting exactly no workout from the supposed ‘gym,’ too? If so, then you know what I’m talking about.

It supposedly offers 80 different exercises, but you’d have to be a pretty clever f*cker to figure out more than three.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Pictured: Chuck Norris doing all 80 of the proposed exercises available on the Total Gym. (Image from Total Gym Direct)

2. He thinks he’s a Marine

I guess, he is a Marine — technically. He was made an honorary Marine back in 2007. That’s fine and dandy, but there’s one problem with that… he was already a veteran of the U.S. Air Force!

If you happen to be one of those few people who knew Chuck Norris was a veteran going into this article, it is likely that you thought he was a Marine. Just based on the sheer number of photo ops, he seems to love having wearing Marine Corps uniforms!

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Chuck Norris sharing a laugh with his fellow Marine. (USMC photo by Sgt. Sheila Brooks).

Also read: 5 best reasons why the Air Force doesn’t need warrant officers

1. Chuck Norris is omnipotent

If you believe everything you read on the Internet, then Chuck Norris is all-powerful and unstoppable — where’s the fun in that?

In fact, Chuck Norris is actually controlling my hands to write this piece because… well, Chuck Norris.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Chuck Norris never takes no for an answer. (Image from Cannon Films’ Invasion U.S.A.).

Articles

13 funniest memes for the week of Nov. 18

Another week down, another list of the 13 best military memes from around the web:


1. They’ve got you there, Army (via Air Force Nation).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Some people polish floors, some people polish the battlefield.

2. It’s just so hard to choose (via Pop smoke).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
That mammoth skull looks pretty cool, though ….

3. These budget cuts are ridiculous (via Pop smoke).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
I hope they have a cable for my phone onboard.

4. Your animal stuck with you through that nasty breakup? That’s cool (via Military Memes).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Army Sgt. Paulie here has stuck through two Purple Hearts.

5. “Where does it even plug into the computer?”

(via Military Memes)

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members

6. This meme gets recycled every year without getting any less true (via Military Memes).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
It’s getting pretty awkward.

7. The blue disc is always good for a few warm hugs and a cup of cocoa (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Sorry, I misspelled that. Blue discs are good for a few “living nightmares” and “an explosion of fury.”

8. The only reason to wake up is if someone is yelling “corpsman.”

(via The Salty Soldier)

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Or sometimes if you feel a sharp pain at the same moment that you hear a boom.

9. There seems to be some sort of feed error with your weapon (via Coast Guard Memes).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Check the weapon’s ID-10-T to identify the problem.

10. “He’s like, really spooky and stuff.”

(viaAir Force amn/nco/snco)

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Maybe you should call the MPs for help.

11. Basically spraying filtered water over here (via Military Nations).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Forced hydration is life.

12. Hey, if it works in Atropia, then it must work in theater (via U.S Army W.T.F! moments).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Of course, if these guys had actually learned their lessons in Atropia, then they’d probably have the muscle memory and discipline to keep their weapons at the low ready.

13. Some people call it crazy. Some people call it disciplined (via Team Non-Rec).

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Just headbutt the wall until the wall breaks.

Articles

Smooth talking your way through gear turn-in is a stinky proposition

Army Capt. Rebecca Murga had the same goals as anyone else at gear turn-in after deployment: get rid of this sh*t and get back home. But she made a rookie mistake when she left Afghanistan without double-checking her gear against her clothing list.


4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Capt. Rebecca Murga tries to find a missing Gore-Tex item while turning in items at the Central Issue Facility. (Go90 No Sh*t There I Was screenshot)

That’s how she ended up at the Central Issue Facility with a desperate need to go home and no Gore-Tex. And since Army property values never match civilian price points, she’s left with the option of paying hundreds of dollars or weaving a Gore-Tex from cobwebs and unicorn dreams.

Anyone who has dealt with DoD civilians knows that it’s a recipe for frustration, but Murga manages to smooth talk her way through the facility only to find herself faced with something worse.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Something much, much worse. (Go90 No Sh*t There I Was screenshot)

See how Murga’s conscience clouds her homecoming in the No Sh*t There I Was episode embedded at the top.

Watch more No Sh*t There I Was:

This is a perfect example of how ridiculous boot camp is

This is why the military shouldn’t completely outlaw hazing

Why you should never run through smoke you didn’t throw

That time Linda Hamilton asked a Marine to the ball

Humor

The Navy used the ‘Friday Funnies’ to make the Navy safer

Those who serve in the military always face a certain amount of risk. From the outside, many people think that combat with the enemy is the only danger, but troops face all sorts of peril and uncertainty, both at war and in peacetime training missions. For example, a recent, tragic accident hit the news when a Navy flight surgeon was struck and killed while on-base at Camp Pendleton.


Fatalities like these make headlines, but there are many smaller accidents that happen within the military, too — some of which are preventable with just a little thought. For a while, the Navy Safety Center used humor to drive home the need to think things through while on duty, while off duty, or even while in one’s own kitchen. Every week, from 1992 until the retirement of Derek Nelson in 2015, the Navy Safety Center sent out a brief message to the fleet every Friday.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Sailors assigned to amphibious transport dock ship USS Somerset (LPD 25) respond to an accident scene on the flight deck during an aircraft firefighting drill simulation. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Vladimir Ramos)

“Some people think safety is serious business, and of course it is. People get maimed, blinded, and killed, but in terms of getting the message out, humor has a real role to play,” Nelson said in a 2007 Navy release. The Navy began to call these weekly messages, the “Friday Funnies.”

In one release, Nelson highlighted the folly of taking shortcuts. The release told the cautionary tale of two Marine sergeants who tried to take a shortcut to get some training and ended up flipping the vehicle they were in. Thanks to seatbelts and airbags, they walked away with just scratches and bruises. Another release mentioned how an Army “man overboard” drill using a real Soldier lead to the need to call in a Navy P-3 for assistance — the Soldier was found three hours later.

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Seaman Max Norum, a corpsman with Headquarters and Support Company, 1st Supply Battalion, treats Sgt. Brandon Jackson for injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident aboard Camp Pendleton, Calif. (USMC photo)

Sometimes, however, the releases were not so funny. One from May 2008 discussed the death of a Navy petty officer first class in a street luge accident that occurred while he was on leave. In this case, Nelson looked over the deceased sailor’s MySpace page and noted that twice the sailor had posted about “injuries that may have warranted a WESS injury report or at least counseling from his supervisor.”

It’s been two years since Nelson’s retirement and the last of the “Friday Funnies.” Even then, Nelson noted that the “juicy” tales had grown scarcer, writing in his retirement message that “it has been getting harder to find them in the mishap reports. I’ll chalk this fact up as progress, and I’ll be gone before anyone can prove different.”

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Sailors assigned to Helicopter Sea Combat Squadron (HSC) 3 stand in formation to signify that HSC-3 has reached 250,000 consecutive flight hours without a Class A mishap. A Class A mishap is classified as an accident with a destroyed aircraft, damages that exceed $2 million, a loss of life or a permanent total disability. (U.S. Navy photo illustration by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Amanda Huntoon)

The Friday Funnies were effective for over 23 years, though. Nelson said in 2007, “I get emails from people saying they almost did something stupid but stopped at the last minute because they didn’t want to end up in the Friday Funnies.” The best incidents were preserved in a magazine – no word on when the full archives will be available online.

In the meantime, Nelson describes how he made the magic happen in this 2011 video.

 

Humor

This is how two Air Force Bases ended up in a Twitter feud

What do Whiteman Air Force Base and Minot Air Force Base have in common? Bombers! But on Oct. 23, the bomber families began butting heads on Twitter over whose airframe is the superior one.


Team Minot has since seemed to delete the tweets that sparked the exchange, but judging from Whiteman’s responses, the shots fired must have been pretty good.

Finally, the official Air Force account stepped in.

Which would have been fine except they told the world that Santa isn’t real.

Which got everyone’s attention.

Including the national media. One of the more recent holiday traditions in the United States is NORAD’s Santa Tracker, which the Air Force helps run every year. The Air Force backtracked quickly.

But I think we’re going to give this one to Whiteman Air Force Base until Minot releases its Twitter history. The USAF Twitter Champion lives in Missouri.

Articles

8 epic deployment music videos you need to watch

Being forward deployed means a few things — plenty time on post, patrolling through dangerous terrain and a whole lot of downtime to entertain yourself.


Let’s face it, life on a FOB is far from glamorous and music is king when it comes to entertainment during regular working hours – which is every day. Having fun in a war zone is an absolute must whenever and where ever you can fit it in.

Listening to the same song over and over again — even the hardest of the hard — will tap their feet, start lip syncing and some will eventually come up with their original dance moves. It’s time to break out the camera!

Related: 9 examples of the military’s dark humor

With the ability to film and edit all sorts of footage while manning a combat post within every trooper’s reach, making an epic music video nowadays should be a must on a deployment checklist.

So check out these epic military music videos by your deployed military. We salute you for boosting morale!

1.  Military vs. Dolphin’s Cheerleaders – Carly Rae Jepsen “Call Me Maybe”

(Theresa R., YouTube)

2. US Navy and Marines in Afghanistan – Psy “Gangnam Style”

(Ryan Pomicter, Youtube)

3. Sangin’s Best Dance Crew – E-40 “Go Hard or Go Home”

(irishboi916, YouTube)

4. US Army – Gunter “Steel Ding Dong”

(Chris O’Leary, YouTube)

5. Frontline Combatants  – Haddaway “What is Love?”

(Nathan, YouTube)

6. USAFA vs. Army Spirit Video – LMFAO “I’m Sexy and I Know it”

(5starHAP, YouTube))

7.  Soldiers Deployed Afghanistan – Bruno Mars “Lazy Song”

(Bradders, YouTube)

8. Swedish Marines – Grease “Grease Lightning”

(Ralf Uhrbom, YouTube)

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Olav the Penguin and 5 other adorable animals outrank you, boot

The Internet is currently losing its collective cool over the King penguin promoted to brigadier general. While this is cute, it can sting for enlisted troops to learn that an animal has been promoted above them.


Well, it gets worse, guys and girls, because Brigadier Sir Olav isn’t the only adorable animal who outranks you. Olav has five American counterparts from history who held a military rank of sergeant or above:

1. Brigadier Sir Nils Olav

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Nils Olav the Penguin inspects the Kings Guard of Norway after being bestowed with a knighthood at Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland. (Photo: British Ministry of Defence Mark Owens)

Brigadier Sir Nils Olav is one of the only animal members of a military officer corps or royal nobility.The penguin resides at the zoo in Edinburgh, Scotland and serves as the mascot of the Royal Norwegian Guard. The first penguin mascot of the guard was adopted in 1972. The name “Nils Olav” and mascot duties are passed on after the death of a mascot.

The Royal Norwegian Guard comes to the zoo every year for a military ceremony, and the penguin inspects them. Before each inspection, the penguin is promoted a single rank. The current penguin is the third to hold the name and has climbed from lance corporal to brigadier general. He is expected to live another 10 years and so could become the senior-most member of the Norway military.

2. Chief Petty Officer Sinbad

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Chief Petty Officer Sinbad hunts Nazi submarines with his crew in 1944. Photo: U.S. Coast Guard)

Coast Guard Chief Petty Officer Sinbad served during World War II on a cutter that fought submarines and enemy aircraft in both the European and Pacific theaters of war.

Sinbad served 11 years of sea duty on the USCGC Campbell before retiring to Barnegat Light Station. During the war, he was known for causing a series of minor international incidents for which the Coast Guard was forced to write him up.

3. Staff Sgt. Reckless

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Reckless the horse served with distinction in the Korean War and was meritoriously promoted to sergeant for her actions in the Battle of Outpost Vega. (Photo: US Marine Corps)

Staff Sgt. Reckless the horse was known for her legitimate heroics in Korea at the Battle of Outpost Vegas where she carried over five tons of ammunition and other supplies to Marine Corps artillery positions despite fierce enemy fire that wounded her twice.

She was promoted to sergeant for her heroics there and was later promoted twice to staff sergeant, once by her colonel and once by the then-Commandant of the Marine Corps Gen. Randolph Pate.

4. Boatswain’s Mate Chief Maximilian Talisman

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Boatswain’s Mate Chief Maximilian Talisman meets his replacement after seven years of service on the USCGC Klamath. (Photo: U.S. Coast Guard)

Boatswain’s Mate Chief Maximilian Talisman was a mascot aboard the USCGC Klamath who was officially assessed numerous times and always received a 3.4 out of 4.0 or better on his service reviews. He crossed the International Date Line twice and served in the Arctic Circle and Korea, according to a Coast Guard history.

5. Sgt. Stubby

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Sgt. Stubby rocks his great coat and rifle during World War I. (Photo: Public Domain)

Stubby was a dog who joined U.S. soldiers drilling on a field in Massachusetts in 1917. He learned the unit’s drill commands and bugle calls and was adopted by the men who later smuggled him to the frontlines in France. An officer spotted Stubby overseas and was berating his handler when the dog rendered his version of a salute, placing his right paw over his right eye.

The officer relented and Stubby served in the trenches, often warning the men of incoming gas attacks and searching for wounded personnel. He was promoted to sergeant for having spotted and attacked a German spy mapping the trench systems.

He was officially recognized with a medal after World War I for his actions, including participation in 17 battles, by the commander of the American Expeditionary Force, Gen. John Pershing.

6. Chief Boatswain’s Mate Turk

4 common things that annoy Air Force enlisted members
Chief Boatswain’s Mate Turk keeps watch at U.S. Coast Guard Station Elizabeth City, North Carolina. (Photo: U.S. Coast Guard)

In an undated update from the Coast Guard, Turk held the rank of chief boatswain’s mate and was still on active service. But, he joined the Coast Guard in 1996 and so has likely retired and moved on by now. Hopefully, he was rewarded well for his service at Coast Guard Station Elizabeth City, North Carolina, where he promoted life preserver use and stood watch with his fellow Coast Guardsmen.

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