5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever - We Are The Mighty
Humor

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

In 2006, a film about how 300 Spartan warriors, led by a king known as Leonidas, went to war against a massive Persian army debuted in cinemas across the globe.


The film was an instant success. Suddenly, it was a universally accepted fact that Spartans kicking the crap out of someone is a reliable way of ending a dispute. The story follows King Leonidas, a man bred to be a warrior king from the moment he was born, as he leads his loyal army against Greece’s enemies.

Though extremely outnumbered, Leonidas valorously leads his mean up against the odds and ends up dying alongside them in battle — which is totally unheard of today.

Related: 6 DC comic heroes who served in the Army

1. He leads from the front

Many so-called “leaders” actually lead from the rear, which means they issue an order, watch their men do all the dangerous sh*t, and then take all credit for it.

King Leonidas was in front of all the battle formations and would often step forward, on his own, to kill as many people as possible.

That’s what we call a freakin’ leader.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
(Warner Brothers’ 300)

2. He f*cks the enemy up on the spot

King Leonidas wasn’t out to win any hearts or minds. Instead, he intended to rip out your heart and put a blade through your mind.

If you come around his FOB and talk sh*t, he’ll Spartan kick you in front of everybody.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
(Warner Brothers’ 300)

3. He is the same person at home as he is with his men

Some troops in high positions shed their aggression when they get home — not King Leonidas. In fact, he started training his son in hand-to-hand combat while he was still wearing diapers. That’s what we call “startin’ em off early.”

4. He knows a sh*tty soldier when he sees one

Leonidas knows talent when he sees it. He plainly dismisses a fellow Greek’s plea to fight the Persian empire because he wasn’t physically capable of fighting like a true Spartan. Real leaders don’t want you on their team if you can’t keep up with the rest of the hard-chargers.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
(Warner Brothers’ 300)

Also Read: 5 ways your platoon would be different with Rambo in charge

5. He knew military strategy

Leonidas develops a master plan to use the land to his advantage and take out a vast Persian army with only 300 men. The idea works, too, until that dude who he denied earlier snitches him out like a punk-a**. It happens.

Humor

5 of the best tips for surviving graveyard shifts

The sun is just about to set, the weather is cooling, and most of the base is either winding down or gearing up to let off steam following that long day of duty.


It’s 1700 and you’re prepping for your twelve-hour graveyard shift that starts in two hours. For some night owls, this shift and these hours are nearly perfect. For most, however, the graveyard presents the ultimate test of willpower: You vs. the Sandman.

Here are five of the very best tips for surviving a graveyard shift.

Related: 5 of the sneakiest ways people try to fool the front gate MPs

5. Caffeine

For as much caffeine as the average graveyard shift worker consumes, it is really a wonder that there hasn’t been some kind of corporate sponsorship put in place — or a blanket discount at the very least.

There’s a reason that so many Monster, Red Bull, Rockstar, etc. are found in gate shacks and patrol cars everywhere… they do what they’re supposed to do!

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
The base is protected by caffeine and defenders. (Image from Wikimedia Commons)

4. Push-ups (calisthenics)

Feeling a little sluggish after that mid-shift meal? Facing a sugar crash after pounding three Monsters before making it through a third of your shift? Taking heavy damage as the Sandman rains down haymakers from every angle?

Do some push-ups.

Getting the blood pumping is a surefire way to keep sleep at bay. Excitement can be hard to come by in the wee hours of the morning and you’re happily serving your country. A few sets of push-ups will give you a boost and help you make it to your second wind.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
For a bonus, grab a few of your also-tired comrades and have a party. (USMC photo by Cpl. Jacqueline Sanderfer)

3. Games

It’s not all doom and gloom at work, we can have fun… when appropriate. You’d be surprised how a couple of simple games, especially done in conjunction with duty, can make the night fly right on by.

Just make sure you’re taking care of your responsibilities and not doing anything that could remotely result in NJP and you’re golden.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Doing anything from this movie will get you NJP. (Image from Fox Searchlight’s Super Troopers)

2. Hide and seek

Unlike the previous point, this isn’t actually a game. This is all about taking advantage of how slow and quiet the base can be during a graveyard shift.

Do you job and stay out of the way.

Also Read: 5 of the top excuses MPs hear during traffic stops

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Just trying to make it through the night. (Image from Columbia Pictures’ Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2)

1. Read WATM

I mean, you’re already here. Check out some of our other content, maybe a few Mighty Minutes can help get you over the hump.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Might as well take a look around, right? (Pictured: WATM host, Shannon Corbeil)

popular

5 terribly hilarious gifts to scuff up a basic trainee

One of the great mysteries of the civilian world is the need for people to send care packages to new troops going through Basic Training or Boot Camp.


It’s not only counter-productive (the idea of isolated training is to transition a civilian into the military by specifically denying basic comforts and stimulating stressful environments such as combat), but it could also get them smoked — their Drill Sergeants or Instructors will go through every piece of mail.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
This is what motivation looks like. (U.S Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Reece Lodder)

Even if they are sent say, a stick of gum, their asses will be ridiculed and then sore from the insane amount of PT they’re about to do. If you really want to show that you love and care, wait until they’ve finished training and send it while they’re deployed.

But this list isn’t for the sweet and caring types. No. This is for the a-holes that warned them it wouldn’t be easy. This is for the a-holes that told them repeatedly to join another branch.

Why not show that you truly care about your young recruit by also helping their trainers mess with them? Get in on the fun! Be creative. Get in on the fun! Be creative. Just be sure to show up their graduation and have a laugh at their expense with their Drill Sergeant/Instructor.

1. Gear from another branch

Want to instill loyalty to the branch of service they enlisted in? Send a USMC t-shirt to the Army private. An Air Force hoodie to the Marine recruit.

Bonus points if they even joined the same branch as you. They’ll love their branch through Stockholm Syndrome.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

2. Cute childhood things

Want to make sure their nickname in Basic is ‘Princess’? Send them a cheap Disney blanket from Wal-Mart.

Who knows? They might actually be forced to keep it instead of the Olive Drab green blanket for maximum hilarity.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

3. Snivel gear

Basically, if they aren’t issued something. They can’t have it.

Mess with them by sending a scarf and a hand written note saying “Stay warm! 3”

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

4. Baked Goods

Quickest way to make sure they get their sweat stains the floor? Send them some homemade treats.

Oh. They won’t get to touch a single one. Drill Sergeant will more than likely eat them in front of their face and tell them how they tasted.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

5. Anything, uh, “Not Safe For Work”

There’s an article on MarriedtotheArmy.com where they give actual, thoughtful, smoke-free care packages. In it, they have a story about a girl sending used panties, which were promptly displayed to embarrass the young soldier.

Same goes for sex toys. Just imagine the look on the Drill Sergeants face when they find that…

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

There are a million different ways to mess with someone going through Basic Training or Boot Camp. Please let us know your favorites in the comment section!

Articles

6 reasons why veterans would gear up and head back to war

As veterans, we’ve all thought about signing back up at one time or another. But what would it take to truly get us back in uniform, to don all that heavy gear and take the fight to the enemy as we’ve always done?


Though we all have to take into consideration all the formations, bull-sh*t we receive from the chain of command — and let’s not forget all those wonderful uniform inspections. Everyone loves those.

With all the crap that comes with serving, many veterans still miss some aspects of military life.

Let’s gear up and go to war! (Images via Giphy)

Check out our reasons why we would gear back up to take on the bad guys.

1. If another major terrorist attack happens

The Sept. 11 attacks stirred up patriotism in millions of Americans, and some joined the military during that period just to get a little revenge.

I represent ‘Merica! (Image via Giphy)

2. For a huge bonus check

Everyone wants to line their pockets with extra beer money.

And a case of beer! (Image via Giphy)

3. If your military family went as well

The military brother and sisterhood have a very tight bond, you f*ck with one brother or sister — you f*ck with whole while family.

You said it girl. (Image via Giphy)

4. If you just couldn’t find a good enough job that suits you

Because office work just didn’t satisfy that inner combat operator in you.

These guys were all former snipers. True story. (Image via Giphy)

5. To feel that combat adrenaline rush again

Shooting and blowing up the bad guys makes an operator feel great about themselves. It’s a morale booster.

He nailed every shot too. He’s that good. (Image via Giphy)

6. To get some adventure

Post-military life is hard to adjust too. Sometimes you just want to leave the homeland and get back into the sh*t.

Can we go with you? (Images via Giphy)To all of our military family already forward deployed — we salute you.

Can you think of any more reasons to throw those cammies back on? Comment below.

Humor

4 interesting things a rifleman can get away with

The military is a weird place with its own unique culture. Although there are strict rules that apply to any and every MOS, there are certain things troops get away with, given the right settings.


Being an infantry rifleman, for example, grants certain permissions that allow you to get away with things that, if done by someone in another occupation specialty, wouldn’t be tolerated.

Related: Why the term ‘every Marine is a rifleman’ needs to stop

1. Being dumb

While it’s a stereotype for grunts to be stupid, it’s rarely true. But in the rare event that a rifleman is dumb, it’s expected, so you get a free pass. But, if you’re not really dumb, don’t make a habit of playing pretend or else you’ll just be your battalion’s own village idiot.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Please, refer to this flowchart.

2. Being incompetent with office tools

If you get sent to the company office to make a copy of some paperwork but you’re unfamiliar with how to use a copy machine, no one gets mad. Just expect to be treated like an idiot. (See point #1)

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

3. Going primal

The tribal mentality is encouraged in an infantry unit since the job is barbaric in nature. Higher-ups are surprisingly okay when the lower enlisted riflemen start acting like cavemen because it means they’re getting in touch with a more primitive side that can make them more efficient.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
When you got a field op at 1500 but gotta defend the pass at Thermopylae. (Image via Terminal Lance)

Also read: 6 easy ways for a grunt to be accepted by POGs

4. Homo-eroticism

Don’t ask, don’t tell is dead and the LGBT community is very much a part of the military now. But you kinda have to be a grunt to truly understand the relationship grunts have with homosexuality. They’re not all gay, but sometimes you might think they lean that way.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
And it’s beautiful.

When you spend all day, every day around other men, you learn to become comfortable enough with your sexuality to the degree that homoerotic behavior between heterosexual people is acceptable. In fact, the behavior is seen as humorous.

Articles

This is why officers should just stay in the office

Army Sgt. David Logan Nye just wanted to do his job during his first combat deployment.


But that’s not how the military works.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Who needs a metal detector when you have hopes and dreams? (Go90 No Sh*t There I Was Screenshot)

Also read: This is why the military shouldn’t completely outlaw hazing

In this episode of No Sh*t There I Was, Nye sets off on a fools-errand with a bunch of high brass and a very stressed out guy charged with detecting IEDs. When they hear a call on the radio that a potential insurgent is fleeing a checkpoint, they take off running to intercept — leaving the metal detector behind.

“Pass the guy protecting us from IEDs…because there are too many probable IEDs on the ground…?” Nye’s inner monologue reflects that of everyone who has ever had to deal with an overly-enthusiastic boss.

Luckily, the rag-tag group of heroes didn’t encounter any IEDs that day, but they did stumble upon something else much more…groovy? Check out the video at the top to see what it was.

Oh, and to my fellow officers out there, let’s try to get in the way of the experts a little less, shall we?

Watch more No Sh*t There I Was:

Why it sucks to report to the ‘Good Idea Fairy’

A Ranger describes what being a ‘towed jumper’ is actually like

Why you should never run through smoke you didn’t throw

Smooth talking your way through gear turn-in is a stinky proposition

Articles

4 terrible pieces of advice ‘Carl’ would give to the US President

It was reported earlier this month that during a July 19 meeting with his national-security team, President Donald Trump turned down counsel of his generals, saying he leaned “toward the advice of rank-and-file soldiers.”


As one of those “rank-and-file” soldiers who has sat through countless sensing sessions where dumb asses give the stupidest advice on how to run the Army, I can see plenty of room for error.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Case in point (Comic by Maximilian at Terminal Lance)

Writer’s Note: This is not intended to be a political piece. It’s only meant to shine a light on the humor that would come from giving “Carl” — or the person that has to be THAT f*cking guy in your unit — the ultimate open door policy. Soldiers could have great ideas that could help turn things around in Afghanistan. But not Carl.

1. Every base would get a luxurious boost in MWR (Morale, Welfare, and Recreation).

Soldiers are more ready and resilient if they aren’t bored out of their f*cking minds, right? Some soldiers make it seem like it’s a matter of life and death if they have to twiddle their thumbs for more than 10 minutes at a time. Carl’s first piece of advice?

“Porn, Mr. President. No one can be busy twiddling their thumbs if their twiddling their little rifleman instead. Gonna need tablets and good WiFi for every combat outpost. And make sure to not put some dumb password on it. No one wants to look for a sticky note when they’re trying to get sticky, you feel me?”

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Back in my day, all we had was a broken pool table and a library that only a few people went to, and we pretended like we were fine with it! (Photo via Wikimedia Commons)

2. Get rid of the MREs for junk food.

Did you know there’s a lot of science behind MREs (Meals-Ready-to-Eat)? They have to have at least 5-year shelf life, specific calorie counts, have a variety of nutrients and hold their nutrients through a quick heating process, are specifically pH balanced, stay oxygen controlled, and so much more. But Carl doesn’t realize that.

“Beer and brauts. And make sure they have lots of pork so the locals won’t want to touch us. Come to think of it, put some stickers in ’em that say, ‘Infidel filled with pig,’ so all the enemies will know our blood is unsafe to touch. Yeah, mess with us, lose your virgins. Expiration dates? Nah, we’ll drink ’em before they go bad.”

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
The last of these were made in ’08. Unless they were kept in a temperature of below a constant 40°F, these f*ckers should all be expired. We should be safe now. (Photo via Wikicommons)

3. Put fast food joints on all FOBs.

I remember my first time at Ali Al Salem Air Base. One of my NCOs took me to the McDonalds. He bought me a burger and told me “Ski, (every service member with a Polish last name has it reduced to the same three letters) enjoy this burger because it’s all down hill from here.” I replied, “But Sergeant, this tastes like cat sh*t flattened in an ash tray.”

“Like I said, all down hill from here.”

And Carl doesn’t get that it’s a problem of logistics and security.

“Here we go, President Trump. What they really need over there is a little taste of home, specifically, a taste of home-fried chicken from Kentucky. Yeah, KFC. Finger-licken good.”

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Yet, it tasted so much better the second time around. (photo via TheBlueShadow)

4. The definition of “hazing” would get a lot more intense.

‘Member hazing? I ‘member.

There’s a difference between taking a wooden mallet and giving someone a seizure and tapping someone on their new rank to say “good sh*t, sergeant!” There’s a difference between having a lighthearted joke with the new guy by telling him to run around everywhere on a scavenger hunt and things that are the definition of sexual assault.

“But like, they were super mean to me. One of ’em said I should go get the keys to the drop zone for the airborne guys. But, get this, there’s no such thing! Yeah, so no more snipe hunts, Mr. President. And also, no more hard stuff right after lunch. I need time to digest my KFC.”

Related: This is why the military shouldn’t completely outlaw hazing

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

 

What dumb ideas do you think Carl would give the President of the United States? Let’s hear them in the comment section.

Associate Editor and Army paratrooper Logan Nye contributed to this story.

Humor

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

Saluting is a non-verbal form of communication used in day-to-day military life and during various ceremonies to convey respect.


As recruits, we learn how to properly execute a hand-salute, and it’s an act we demonstrate hundreds of times throughout our service. The hand gesture quickly becomes part of our muscle memory.

Although the gesture is meant to pay respect, there are a few times in which enlisted personnel want to hold back their rendered salutes — these are a few of those times.

Related: 7 different types of MPs you’ll face at the gate

1. When you’re on a roll, working hard, but then “Colors” begins.

Sure, we joined the military because we’re patriotic, but it sucks to shift your focus when you’ve got momentum.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

2. When it’s 3 a.m., you’re half asleep on barracks duty, and the Officer of the Day walks in.

Oh, sh*t! You weren’t sleeping, right? Just tell them you were just praying before you screw up the salute.

3. After a 12-hour shift guarding the gate and you’ve already saluted at least 500 blue stickers.

“If I have to salute another dependant with a blue sticker, I’m going to flip.”

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
(Photo by U.S. Marine Cpl. Jo Jones)

4. When it’s freezing outside and evening “Taps” sounds off.

Sometimes, it’s just too damn cold out to be patriotic.

5. When an officer from another branch rolls around.

Yuck… Let’s just get this over with.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

Also Read: 5 common movie mistakes veterans can spot right away

6. Having to salute a lower-ranking troop to gain entry onto the ship.

To get payback later, make sure the lower enlistee salutes you back with proper freakin’ form.

7. After work, when you’re carrying more than a case of beer back to the barracks, and an officer walks by.

Whatever you do, do not make eye contact with the general.

Humor

5 of the sneakiest ways people try to fool the front gate MPs

We, the military community, generally operate between the lines. We have our sh*t together and it’s all standardized — it’s not only part of our culture, but in combat, this can save a life.


We are still people, however, and sometimes that means we may need to get a little creative in certain situations…like trying to get past the MPs at the gate.

Now, why you don’t have ID, is neither here nor there — these are five of the best ways to get through the gate in a pinch.

Related: 6 signs that you might be a veteran

Disclaimer: This post is purely for entertainment purposes. We Are The Mighty fully supports the law and would never recommend breaking rules…

5. Forgot your ID? Bring the MPs food.

It is extremely easy to leave your CAC in a card reader at work or the pair of pants from yesterday.

This isn’t a horribly difficult fix; just bring the cop some food. By food, I mean an actual meal of some sort. There is a really good chance that cop hasn’t had a good meal, and if they have, that meal is either hours to the rear or to the front of them. It doesn’t have to be extravagant — a pizza will do the trick.

Sidenote: Bringing donuts could actually turn your day into a sh*tshow, so be careful.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Actual authorized alternate form of ID.

Alternative: Show an alternate form of ID. That, together with a polite demeanor and some personal recognition should also work.

4. Trying to bring a visitor on base, after hours? Try the trunk.

Many bases have a curfew and/or prohibit overnight civilian overnight guests. This makes bringing home any friends you make during a night out on the town literally against regulation.

Another simple fix: have your friend rest in the trunk as you enter the base. For compounding points, bring the cop a Monster or Red Bull.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Mission: Success.

Alternative(s): Stop being cheap and get a room. Date someone with their own place. Promote yourself out of base housing.

3. Had a few drinks? Roll down the windows and pop Altoids.

Coming on base just a little bit drunk is a reality for a lot of service members (this actually is really dangerous and stupid so don’t do it JUST DON’T DO IT).

Great. You did it. Your next problem is that the MPs are just itching for anything to happen.

Chug water, roll down the windows a few miles out from the gate, and fill up on Altoids.

Also, make sure you turn off your headlights a reasonable distance from the gate, drive as straight as possible, and drive an appropriate speed.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Billy zigged when he should’ve zagged

Alternative: Don’t drink and drive, d*ck!

2. Hanging out with someone’s drunk spouse?

No matter the circumstance, the optics on this will never favor you, and if you are made by the MPs you very well may have started the end of your time in uniform. Cops know all the gossip on post simply by nature of being first responders in a micro-community.

The activity can be completely innocent but it will never look innocent. Before you can get into work on the next duty day, the word around town could easily be that you came through the gate engaged in all-out sex in the backseat and only stopped to give your ID to the MP.

The very best thing to do in this situation is be in a mixed group as much as possible.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
How it looks driving someone’s drunk wife home.

Alternative: Don’t hang out with drunk married people.

1. Are you a chaplain driving around with empty beer cans and four scantily clad women?

Give the gate guard a fist bump and say the outreach program is working great.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

Humor

How to make great 10-cent ramen while living in the barracks

In most parts of America, Top Ramen is considered a last-resort food consumed by college kids, recently divorced dads, and drunk people. It doesn’t have to be this way. Top Ramen has potential — it’s a diamond in the rough — and it’s up to you to showcase just how delicious this peasant food can be.


Related: How certain MRE items become cash money to a service member

So, check out how to make the best Ramen coming from an eight-year Marine veteran-turned-chef.

Here are the tools you’ll need to make the perfect Top Ramen dish on a budget

  • 2-quart saucepan
  • Wooden cooking spoon
  • Stove

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
All the ingredients you’ll ever need. (Image from Sean Dodds)

Ingredients

  • 1 package of cheap Top Ramen with flavor pack
  • 2 cups water
  • 1 tbsp Soy Sauce
  • 1 tbsp Ponzu
  • 1 tbsp black bean chili paste
  • 2 tsp ground ginger
  • 2 tsp ground lemongrass
  • 1 lime
  • 1 bunch fresh cilantro
  • 1 egg
  • 1 slice of American or pepper-jack cheese

Step 1. Make broth.

Add all liquid ingredients along with the ground ginger, lemongrass, and provided flavor pack into the saucepan. Place on a stove at high heat and stir with a wooden spoon until everything is dissolved.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
The best Ramen broth ever! (Image from Sean Dodds)

Step 2. Bring to a boil.

Bring the liquid to a boil, stirring often with your wooden spoon.

Step 3. Prep the garnish.

As the broth slowly approaches a boil, chop up the cilantro. Cut the lime into a few wedges.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Choppin’ up the herbs. (Image from Sean Dodds)

Step 4. Add the noodles.

Once the broth is boiling, add the noodles and stir until it boils again. Then, reduce to a simmer and let cook for 5 minutes.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Drop it like it’s hot. (Image from Sean Dodds)

Also Read: 6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

Step 5. Add some cheese and the egg.

As the ramen simmers, add the cheese and egg while stirring to scramble the egg in the pot. The cheese will melt and the egg will cook, just be sure to keep stirring until both are distributed evenly.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Don’t get any shell in there. (Image from Sean Dodds)

Step 6. Serve and garnish.

Bowl up your ramen, add 2 tbsp of chopped cilantro, squeeze the lime wedge over your bowl of greatness, and enjoy.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Enjoy! (Image from Sean Dodds)

What are your favorite ramen recipes?

Humor

6 of the worst times to salute officers

Saluting is a powerful, non-verbal communication that shows proper respect to a military officer. Although there’s no real written record of how or where the tradition began, precursors to the salute date far back in history when warriors would raise their right hand (traditionally the weapon hand) as a signal of friendship.


The practice of saluting has gone fairly unchanged throughout history. The subordinate hand-gestures first when in the presence of a superior who, in turn, responds accordingly — lower-ranking personnel salute higher-ranking service members first.

Recruits learn how to hand salute in boot camp and demonstrate it hundreds of times before heading out to active duty. The gesture becomes instant as muscle memory takes over.

Although the gesture is meant to pay respect, there are times when an officer doesn’t want to see that salute — and here are just a few.

Related: 5 things enlisted troops love but officers hate

1. Before Monday-morning, boots-and-utes PT when they’re still hungover from the weekend.

Officers like to drink, too.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
“Major? This is the general. Send over that boot lieutenant, will you? I’m too hungover for this ‘boots and utes’ run.”

2. When they’re trying to have a legit conversation and it keeps getting interrupted by incoming and outgoing hand salutes.

Officers have a unit to run and that requires them to chat it up. Their concentration doesn’t need to be broken every time a boot walks through the area.

3. When there are a few dozen enlisted troops headed their way and they must return the salute over, and over, and over again.

The struggle is real, folks.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever

4. When an officer is in a rush to go home.

Just like any enlisted troop out there, officers want their liberty time, too.

Also Read: 6 things officers love but enlisted troops can’t stand

5. In a war zone.

You might as well put a bullseye on the officer’s forehead. It’s just not a good idea — don’t do it.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Joker meets Mr. Touchdown, a Marine officer, and salutes him in Vietnam. It’s not a good idea. (Screenshot from Warner Brother’s Full Metal Jacket)

6. When they’re just sore as f*ck from arm day at the gym.

Officers have to keep up physically with all those motivated enlistees. Hitting the gym on the regular helps them compete.

Articles

This man found $2.5M in gold stashed aboard a surplus Russian tank

To paraphrase Forrest Gump, military surplus gear is like a box of chocolates — you never know what’s inside until you open it up and look.


For one lucky buyer, Nick Mead, who owns a tank-driving experience business in the United Kingdom, a $38,000 purchase of a Chinese-built Type 69 main battle tank off of eBay was a bargain, since he scored $2,592,010 of gold that had been hidden in the vehicle’s diesel tank! That represents a net profit of over $2.55 million.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Chinese Type 69 tank. (Photo from National Defense University)

According to militaryfactory.com, a battle-ready Type 69 main battle tank is armed with a 100mm gun, a 7.62mm machine gun, and can be equipped with a 12.7mm machine gun. The tank has a crew of four. Over 4,700 of these tanks were produced by China.

But this tank, while produced by China, was exported to Saddam Hussein’s regime. Saddam bought as many as 2,500 Type 59 and Type 69 tanks. While many were destroyed during Operation Desert Storm, this one survived the BRRRRRT!

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Marines look over a captured Iraqi Type 69 tank. (DOD photo)

The tank is believed to have also taken part in the original invasion of Kuwait. During the occupation of that country, Iraqi forces looted just about everything that wasn’t blasted apart. That included gold and other valuables.

Mead discovered the gold when checking out the tank after he’d been told by the tank’s previous owner that he’s discovered some machine-gun ammo on board. Mead then discovered the gold hidden in the fuel tank.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Nick Mead holds one of the gold bars he discovered when checking out the Type 69 tank he bought on eBay. (Youtube screenshot)

Currently the five bars of gold, each weighing about 12 pounds, are in police custody as they try to trace the original owners.

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6 tips we learned from ‘Ferris Bueller’ on how to ‘skate’ in the military

Ferris Bueller is the ultimate skater.


Skating is an art form which most people will never fully learn — until now. In 1986, Paramount pictures released “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” which taught countless teens how to play sick and get out of school.

Written and directed by the legendary John Hughes, the film focuses on a teenager who embarks on an incredible journey throughout Chicago while being unknowingly stalked by his high school principal.

While taking the day off, Bueller and his two friends learn more about themselves in a day than they would ever expect.

Related: 8 tips for ‘skating’ in the military

So check out our list of how Bueller taught us the art of the skate.

1. Be convincing

First, come up with an epic excuse why you’re unable to partake in a military activity (like going to work), and make sure you sell that sh*t like Bueller sold being sick to his parents.

Getting a “Sick in Quarters” slip is the goal if you’re in the military.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
I hope I look sick enough. (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

2. Use your assets properly

Unfortunately, Bueller doesn’t have a car to drive himself around. So once he officially earns his day off via his parents, it’s time to get on the phone and find someone to pick you up.

Skating should be a team effort, but make sure you repay the favor and help someone else skate on another day.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Come over to the barracks and pick me up. (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

3. Know the loopholes

Here, Bueller hacks the school’s computer absence program and changes how many days he has been absent. You probably won’t have this ability unless you have a special security clearance, but the moral of this story is to understand your limits.

For instance, if your boss isn’t going to be around — you’re not going to be around. Get it? Good.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Knowing the loopholes will get you far in life. (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

4. Have an epic backstory

During roll call, Bueller’s name is called out several times before this hot girl (Kristy Swanson) gives the teacher a bullsh*t reason why he isn’t in school. It works well during military roll call when the service member calling out names just wants to get on with the day and not hear any excuses — another loophole.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
How could you not trust this face? (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

5. Play the role

In the event you get an unknown phone call or run into someone outside your skating circle, divert into the sick mode ASAP.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Remember act sick. (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

Also Read: 11 hiding spots for an E-4 to sham

6. Make it a team effort

Ferris uses his best buddy Cameron to impersonate his girlfriend’s dad to get her out of school. Now, you probably won’t have to do all that, but it’s awesome to have military friends who are willing to skate alongside you that you trust.

5 reasons why King Leonidas would make the best platoon sergeant ever
Our favorite hypochondriac, Cameron Frye. (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

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