6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas - We Are The Mighty
Humor

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

One of the highlights of any military career is getting sent overseas to a new duty station. It’s a fantastic way for troops to engage a foreign culture, take in the sights, and work one-on-one with our great nation’s allies.


The thing is, no matter how many AFN commercials tell us to blend in with the host nation, Americans will always be Americans. There isn’t a damn thing wrong with that — but, sometimes, we overdo it.

1. Dressing casually

Troops will always dress like they did when they were back home. Even if a cloudy day on some tropical paradise is a bit too chilly for the locals, American troops from the northern states will still be out there drinking in jeans and a t-shirt.

American brand-name clothes are pricey overseas. So, if you see a local wearing blue jeans, they’re probably knock-offs. The nice pair of Levi’s troops picked up at Wal-Mart would cost an arm and a leg in Europe or Asia.

 

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
You can try to fit in all you like, but your buzz cut or high-fade will give you away. (Photo by Pfc. Levi Schultz)

 

2. Speaking English overseas… loudly

Americans have a leg up on much of the world since, in many countries, it’s customary to learn English as a second language. This is especially true for the younger generations. Because of this, there’s much less of a drive to learn a local language fluently; troops usually just hope the locals speak English.

If someone takes the time to learn the local language outside of a handful of useful sayings, kudos. A large majority of troops don’t bother.

 

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

3. Driving instead of taking public transportation

American public transportation isn’t the best in the world. So, many of us rely on driving everywhere we need to go. When Americans are stationed overseas, they often take their car with them instead of relying on local railways or bus systems.

It’s a convenience most Americans grew accustomed to that they’re not willing to give up, even if most things are within walking distance. A troop will either bring their own vehicle or buy one off of a service member rotating back to the States.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
And there are always vehicles in the resale lot. They’re pieces of junk…but they’re there. (Photo by Airman 1st Class Larissa Greatwood)

4. Flirting with confidence

American troops often talk to locals in nightclubs like they’re expecting a response of, “oh, you’re an American? How exotic!

Maybe the person they’re interested in likes the cocky American persona. Maybe they’re into shy bookworms they meet at coffee shops. Whatever the case, American troops will always confidently try to figure it out.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

5. Only taking in American pop culture

Every country around the world has their own distinct, modern pop culture — their own music, their own cinema, their own arts, etc. They also have American pop culture, which might outshine their own.

You can usually count on locals having seen the latest Marvel movie, heard the Billboard Top 40, and binge-watched everything on Netflix. American troops will probably skip local pop culture. Mostly because it’s probably not in English and subtitles aren’t for everyone.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Expect them to know what Star Wars is. Everyone has seen Star Wars. (Photo by Senior Airman Christopher Muncy)

 

6. Drinking towns overseas dry

There has been only one time in recorded history that a major city has had all of their alcohol stores run completely dry because of everyone drinking (it was Moscow after WWII). But goddamn do troops come close every first and the fifteenth.

Every nation likes to pretend they hold the title of the “world’s heaviest drinkers.” They obviously haven’t seen what it’s like when an entire unit comes back from Iraq or Afghanistan.

 

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
We can clear out an entire bar and still make it to PT the next morning. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Jason Hull)

Articles

26 best Navy SEAL porn names and movie titles

So, it turns out that a decorated Navy SEAL has been working a little side gig in adult films with his wife. The pair own a production company and have starred in at least a few films.


Look, we’re not here to judge, and they don’t appear to have ever used their military affiliation to boost their movies. But since the connection is now out in the open, we thought we’d suggest a few themed movie titles they could use, as well as some good names if any of his military colleagues want to help out his company.

(Please, give us your best entries on Facebook.)

Movie Titles

1. SEAL Team Dix

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Daniel Stevenson)

2. Zero Dark Horny

America’s greatest warriors conduct a quiet insertion into Alottabutt, Pakistan, and slay what they find.

3. Squid Muff Diving

These heroes are prepared to go down for their country.

4. In Glorious Bastards

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
(Photo: U.S. Navy Seaman Kyle Gahlau)

5. Pollywogs and Shellbacks

These new recruits are going to learn all about how Navy SEALs cross the equator.

6. SEAL Team 69

Sometimes it’s not enough to watch your brother’s back. You gotta watch his front, too.

7. American Sniper…of butts

We’re actually really proud of this one.

8. Neptune’s Spear

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Martin L. Carey)

These SEALs drive it deep.

9. The O Course

10. Sea, Air, and Labia

These commandos always go where it’s the hottest.

11. Sex Act of Valor

12. Motion of the Ocean

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Shauntae Hinkle)

Whether they’re riding a rubber raiding craft, a Zodiac boat, or a nuclear submarine, these SEALs know it’s not the size of your vessel, it’s what you can do with it.

13. Amphibious Ass-ault

14. BUDS

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Shauntae Hinkle-Lymas/Released)

During the rigors of Hell Week, a group of candidates realizes that they can only rely on, and lie with, each other.

15. DEVGROPE

They’re always up for a special warfare experiment.

Next up: Porn Star Names

1. Squid McLovin

2. Master Chief Muff-Diver

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Photo: Public Domain

He doesn’t come up for air until the mission is complete.

3. Freak E. Frogman

4. Chuck Trident

5. Slip Rey Squid

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Kyle D. Gahlau)

He always slides right in.

6. Fast Rope

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Anthony Harding)

He specializes in light bondage.

7. SEAL de Butts

8. Froggy Style

He knows the best way to complete the objective is sometimes to take it from behind.

9. Captain Cockswain

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Eddie Harrison)

Always ready to take command.

10. Phil Cunt Splice

(Note: Cunt splice is an actual naval term, though most people now use the alternative term “cut splice” for obvious reasons.)

11. Slick Seaman

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of June 8th

Just when you thought things were getting nice and boring, a 1st Lt goes and steals an APC and drives it through Richmond. You know, deep down, the mechanic responsible for that vehicle is secretly proud that their M577 managed to keep up in a police pursuit.

The APC started up, managed to get off base and drive 60 miles to Richmond with the cops on his ass within 2 hours — all without breaking down. Sure, that lieutenant is going to be turning big rocks into smaller rocks for a while but, holy crap, someone give that motor sergeant a medal!


6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

(Meme via Air Force Nation)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

(Meme via Why I’m Not Re-Enlisting)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

(Meme via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Says)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

“I went where you told me. I took a left on Victory Road and still didn’t see it.”

(It’s funny because every installation has at least two “Victory Road”s.)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

(Meme via PT Belt Nation)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

I swear that this is the last ACP Joyrider meme… this week…

(Meme via Artillery Moments)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

(Meme via OAF Nation)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

(Meme via Untied Status Marin Crops)

Humor

10 craptastic Halloween costumes completely out of regulations

It’s that time of year again!


Halloween parties are being planned and folks who couldn’t hack it in the real military pick up cheap ass costumes to make believe they did. Problem is, they don’t even have the common courtesy to swing by a military surplus store and give the veteran community a laugh at their sh*tty attempt at Stolen Valor.

Related: These civilians get pretty creative with their terms for ‘stolen valor’

Certainly this isn’t a comprehensive list. God knows how many variations you can make from camo patterns and a bit of fabric. The kids are also being cut some slack on this one. It’s not like they can enlist to get actual versions of what they’re trying to be.

1. Special Ops Ninja Costume

Whenever you’re at the bar and someone says they “can’t talk about what they did in the military,” this is what they thought the military does.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

2. ‘In the Green’ American cosplay spy

Ahhh, she’s supposed to be a spy. That explains the Soviet navy cadet rank.

She could probably get whatever information she wanted with that corset/half-jacket combo.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

3. Skull Military Man

The coolness of having an Army issued Punisher mask is immediately undone by actually wearing the Army issued elbow pads.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

4. Super Sexy Cross Front

It might get a little, uh, cold, if she needed to reload her machine gun.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

5. Men’s Sexy Sailor Navy

Every sailor in the U.S. Navy constantly fights the inter-service jokes against the rest of the Armed Forces. This costume just gives us ammunition.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

6. Diva Dictator

Her regime is about to get toppled.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

7. High quality military man

“I remember my times in the Army well. Second tour to Douic 66, me and the rest of my Rolling Stones buddies saw some sh*t.”

 

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

8. Sexy Marine

Still one of the better ones to make the list. Too bad this is still the exact stereotype military guys have about women in combat.

 

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

9. Mile High Captain

Someone finally wanted to pretend to be an airman! … Oh, wait. Nevermind.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

10. Military couples costume

Just everything wrong about this. Except the stock models got the feeling of being a dual-military couple right. She’s dead inside, and he’s constantly pissed at everything.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

 

 

Articles

13 funniest memes for the week of Oct. 28

Halloween is coming up, so we hope everyone has a great costume lined up, unlike most years when everyone just trades uniforms with a member of a different service for the night. Soldiers going as airmen, sailors going as Marines. It’s all cutting edge stuff.


Before you head into the housing areas to beg your first sergeants for candy, check out these 13 funny military memes:

1. Wait. Do airmen get only three shots?

(via Air Force Memes Humor)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Didn’t everyone have to do the walk of needles?

2. Well, at least you can apply that penny to the repair bill (via Military Memes).

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Only a couple billion more pennies to go.

3.  Back to basics, Marines (via Marine Corps Memes).

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Grab your powder horns.

ALSO READ: That time US soldiers pretended to be vampires and ghosts to scare the hell out of the enemy

4. “Meh. This is the next watch’s problem.” (via Coast Guard Memes)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Better write it up in the log, though.

5. Uh, Germany did this and got to stay Airborne (via Do You Even Airborne, Bro?).

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
They did it a couple of times in one day.

6. Make your life decisions carefully, folks (via Military Memes).

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Going to college starts to look a lot better after you’ve already enlisted.

7. When your tie-down job lasts longer than the trailer, truck, or load:

(via Team Non-Rec)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Good job, whoever did the loading. Driver, not so much.

8. Russia fields its new, rapidly deployable force:

(via Military Memes).

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

9. Combat rock painter:

(via The Salty Soldier)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
There are some Army details that almost no one writes home about.

10. “A-10 a song” is the best (via Air Force Nation).

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

11. Someone doesn’t appreciate the Air Force (via Coast Guard Memes).

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
And some meme writer doesn’ love the Coast Guard much.

12. In his defense, there’s a solid chance that he’s faking it (via Military Memes).

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
I know some people who might fake it in this situation.

13. When your vehicle recovery plan leaves something to be desired:

(via Military Memes).

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Maybe bring a wrecker with you next time.

Humor

8 things a boot lieutenant should never say

We love our military officers. Let’s put that out there right now before the light, verbal hazing commences.


Once an officer is fresh out of training, we call them a ‘boot,’ which is military for being a brand new guy or gal in the service. Depending on what branch or unit you’re in, the timeline for being a boot can last a year — or until you complete a combat deployment.

In any case, the training officer candidates undergo can be quite difficult, but it can be even harder to earn the respect of the men and women who will serve under them. Earning a college degree and getting commissioned is easy compared to earning the respect of your entire unit through service.

Earning respect starts with choosing your words and how you carry yourself carefully. Here are a few words boot officers should not say for a long, long time — if ever.

Related: 4 things you should never say to a military spouse

1. “From all my experience, I think we should…”

Most enlisted troops respect all the training officers have gone through, but until they prove themselves, butterbars’ so-called experiences don’t hold much weight.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

2. “With all due respect, sergeant major, my leadership skills far exceed anyone else’s in the regiment.”

Take it back, sir! Please, take back that statement, lock it up in a safe, and forget the combination — for a while.

3. “I bet you I’ll be great in a firefight.”

No one can predict that until that sh*t situation occurs.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

4. “Being a commissioned officer should get me the same respect as any who have seen combat.”

We’ve met a lot of commissioned officers in our time, but it doesn’t matter how much training you’ve been through — respect is earned through distinguished service.

Most infantry officers will earn that respect soon enough.

5. “I guarantee you that I’ll be just as badass as Chesty Puller one day.”

Boot officers can dream, can’t they?

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

6. “I deserved to be saluted by every enlisted troop, no matter what.”

They will be, but an officer can sound like a d*ck for saying it that way.

Also Read: 7 things you’ll never hear a Marine drill instructor say

7. “Well, sergeant, in OCS we learned to attack the enemy this way.”

Who would you trust? A boot officer or an experienced enlisted troop?

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

8. “I wonder how similar real combat is compared to Call of Duty? Because I’m badass at that game.”

Answer: Not at all. The graphics look cool, though.

Humor

SC National Guard apparently missed the “Boaty McBoatface” flail a few months back

Do you even internet, bro? Awhile back, the South Carolina National Guard put out a request for folks to come up with the command’s new motto (because apparently “Trusted at home, proven abroad” is no good). Here were the guidelines:


6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

 

Other organizations have attempted to involve their communities in similar fashion over the last few years, most notably Britain’s Natural Environmental Research Council that wound up with “Boaty McBoatface” as the winner of a “name this ship” contest back in April.

And the Air Force did the same thing with this tweet:

They wound up with a bunch of cool names like TrumppelinDeathkill Eaglehawk Firebird Hoora! Testosterone, and (of course), Bomby McBombface.

More proof that social media is the best media. We hope this tradition continues, because it’s pretty entertaining.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Humor

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

Alcohol and parties are commonplace in the military. Only troops can throw a raging party on a Thursday that destroys the barracks, instigate a platoon versus platoon fist fight, and involve the Colonel’s hot 22-year-old daughter all while avoiding MPs being called and everyone making it to the 12-mile ruck in the morning. When those same troops get out and use their GI Bill, not a single one of them will be impressed when a classmate says, “Dude! This party is gonna be just like the film, Project X!”


Spoiler alert: It won’t. Not until a college kid rips down a door just to use it as a beer pong table will it even come close. Only a veteran with a DD-214 still warm from the printer can get that party going.

Here are 7 ways barracks parties get you ready for college life.

7. You can actually get the party started!

Veteran students are often seen as the most charismatic bunch. It’s not because we’re the most social people, we just don’t give a damn what people think of us.

This can lead others to follow us — especially to parties. Veterans won’t ever let those college kids down.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
How every veteran shows up to the party. (Image from Columbia Pictures’ 22 Jump Street)

6. You can entertain everyone, from every walk of life

Part of military life is meeting everyone from every corner of the country (in some cases, the world) and getting them drunk. If you want to see a beautiful photo of every race, ethnicity, religion, gender, economic status, and overall place in life, just check out the barracks on any given payday weekend. They’ll all be wasted and probably a few will have their shirts off.

College campuses usually have that same makeup, but veterans can bridge that gap… with copious amounts of alcohol.



Well, Wayne Gretzky did say, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” (Image via GIPHY)

5. You’ll actually know how to talk to the person you’re interested in

On or around military installations, to put it frankly, there aren’t that many beautiful women. If there is one, troops will literally fight each other for the chance to talk to her.

Take that same veteran, who needed to perfect the art of talking to the other sex, give them a strong personality and a good looking body, and let them loose.



We don’t even need to use BAH as a pick-up line anymore! (Image via GIPHY)

4. You’ll know how to hold your liquor

It takes a lot to get troops drunk. The general rule of thumb is to bring as much as you plan on drinking and then some extra. This results in troops coming to parties with bottles upons bottle of booze. All that, and they’ll still probably be just at the upper limit of tipsy or at least can pretend well enough that they aren’t sh*tfaced.

Don’t be surprised when a veteran downs an entire bottle of whiskey, straight, no chaser, and then asks who’s down for shots.



Civilians think they can drink. That’s cute. (Image via GIPHY)

 

3. You’ll know how to babysit

Troops always look after one another at barracks parties. We needed to make sure that no one got in trouble and that no one chokes on their own puke. When a situation arises, troops can snap back to sobriety well enough to handle it.

Being the only ones who can hold their liquor also means they’ll be sober enough to deal with everyone else’s problems when they’re drunk. And it’s never a fun problem like, “we need to hide the colonel’s hot 22-year old daughter! Dad’s on his way!” It’s always boring, civilian problems.



Vets will always carry you home. Mostly to flex for the ladies. (Image via GIPHY)

2. You’ll know how to make the next one even bigger

Troops have astounding drunken memory. They probably couldn’t tell you why they did what they did, but they can remember doing it.

Veterans will take mental notes as if they were a staff officer. They’ll check off what alcohol people actually drank, which music worked best, and who to invite (and not invite) next time.



A vet probably wouldn’t be joking though… (Image via GIPHY)

1. You can still make it to class the next day

Hangovers still exist. That’s just the way it is when you start adding more birthdays to your life. Troops just keep their mouths shut about it because they know they probably shouldn’t have drank an entire handle the night before an 0530 PT test.

When the only stressor is being able to make it to a 9 a.m. class to listen to a math lecture, veterans will probably still make it there fifteen minutes early.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
We worked too damn hard to throw away an opportunity at college. (Image via Reddit)

Humor

7 types of riflemen you’ll meet in your first platoon

Considered the backbone of the infantry, the Marine MOS of “0311” has been kicking in the enemy’s doors and striking fear into their hearts for decades.


Although the training required by the hardcore occupation is demanding, when you join your first platoon, you’ll encounter some of the world’s most interesting people.

Here are just a few types of Devil Dog you’ll meet.

Related: 6 types of enlisted ‘docs’ you’ll meet at sick call

1. The one who has something to prove

This guy didn’t have the most comfortable time in high school. They probably weren’t the star football player or wrestler, but they’ve got an enormous heart. They joined the Corps to prove something to themselves and those around them.

Deep down, we’re all this person.

2. The Marine who wants to make the Corps a career

In the beginning, this Marine doesn’t see himself embarking on any other career path. They are hard chargers who believe in the Corps’ mission down to their very bones.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
This Marine rifleman conducts a training exercise prepping him for deployment.

3. The one who is “testing the waters”

This young stud isn’t sure what he or she wants out of life, they just know that they need to move out of their hometown and see what else is out there. The may find themselves during their service — or they may not.

4. The most in-shape Marine ever

This PT guru is always at the gym or running up 5th Marine Regiment’s First Sergeant’s Hill during their free time. However, they always invite their brothers to join in and continuously motivate everyone to press on.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
This Marine almost completes his rep during a single-arm preacher curl at one of the 56 fitness centers the Corps provides.

5. The one who dreams of going to Special Forces

An outstanding, motivated Marine always achieves their goals. Many Marines want to push themselves to find and test their limits. What better way to test your limits than by joining up with MARSOC?

6. The tech genius

This smarty-pants is the one who will surprise you with how intelligent they are outside of work. They might not be able to split an atom or some sh*t, but they might be able to re-hardwire your computer so you can download more porn.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
This Marine developed armor with a package of clottings agent and painkillers installed inside the protective shield.

Also Read: 8 things a boot lieutenant should never say

7. The one with the drunken split personality

This Marine is the most helpful guy in your platoon… when they’re sober. But, after a few 6-packs, they become the biggest pricks and damn near intolerable. A lot of these Marines end up getting choked out MCMAP-style just to shut them up.

Humor

5 things recruits screw up the most in boot camp

The majority of recruits who ship out to boot camp are just a few months removed from graduating high school. They are, for the most part, still pretty wet behind the ears and haven’t had experience with the amount of structure they’re about to be exposed to.


We get it — recruits are flustered upon entering the intense world of boot camp. Don’t feel too bad; many newbies these make simple mistakes during their initial training.

Related: 5 ways troops always screw up a simple formation

1. Forgetting their lefts and rights

It’s a simple mistake, but in boot camp, any time is a crappy time to have a brain fart.

 

2. Not shaving properly

The military instills the value of paying close attention to detail. Leaving one, single hair uncut before a boot camp inspection is, in fact, a big deal. However, it’s not unheard of for the military to teach classes for those newbies who have never been clean-shaven before.

3. Not hydrating enough

Drinking water is one of the most important elements to staying healthy. Unfortunately, many recruits are so used to pounding sodas and energy drinks that they tend to forego water and end up falling out of simple hikes.

It’s probably because they don’t like the taste of high-quality H2O.

Also Read: 6 dumb things veterans lie about on the internet

4. Calling their drill sergeant “sir”

Unless you’re in Marine boot camp, where the first and last thing out of your mouth must be “sir,” you should always address your training instructors by their rank or proper title.

In the event you call one of them “sir,” you’re probably going to get the same response:

“Don’t call me, ‘sir.’ I work for a living.”

5. Taking a dump during morning clean up

Recruits are responsible for cleaning their squad bays and restrooms every day.  There’s always one person who has to use the “head” during cleanup or right afterward.

Nobody will like that recruit — at least not for the rest of the day.

Articles

5 awful military haircuts that would fail inspection

Service members are held to a pretty high standard when it comes to grooming practices. The military requires that work uniforms look as neat as possible, men’s faces need to be clean shaven, and haircuts fall with in regulation.


Staying within these standards can be difficult, especially if you’re deployed. But for many, it’s just a matter of heading to the local base and getting a $12 haircut at the PX or NEX. The cut may not turn out celebrity style perfect, but you will be within regs.

Grooming standards vary amongst the branches, but at least one aspect remains the same — the hairline needs to be tapered. A fellow troop’s haircut is one of the first things veterans and service members notice.

Check out our list of military haircuts that would fail inspection:

1. War Daddy

In David Ayer 2014’s war movie “Fury,” Brad Pitt plays a hard-charging tank commander with a pretty awesome hair cut. But we can’t imagine how the Army managed to get a talented hair stylist out on the German front lines to keep his hair perfectly gelled.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
We guess everyone in the 1940s cut their hair like Macklemore. (Source: Sony/Screenshot)

2. American Sniper

The story of legendary Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle hit the big screen in 2014 directed by the iconic Clint Eastwood. With all the excellent production value the film had one aspect was over looked — this Marine’s sideburns.

We could mention he also needs to shave, but that’s not what this article is about — maybe next time.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
We bet he just asked the barber to take a little bit off the top before attending his big brother’s wedding. (Source: WB/Screenshot)

3. Broken Arrow

Christian Slater plays Riley Hale, a military stealth pilot who needs to track down a war head, defeat the villains, and locate a pair of Osters.

We know it makes you sad to trim around the ears, but you know what else is sad? Terrorism. Now go shave.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
This haircut is so freakin’ bad; he’s pointing out exactly what’s wrong with it. (Source: Fox/ Screenshot/YouTube)

4. Full Metal Jacket

Although this Stanley Kubrick film is epic on multiple levels, it’s a hard fact to swallow that these Marines stationed on a large military base in Vietnam can’t find a pair of hair clippers. We’re just saying.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Joker (in the middle) looks depressed as he waits on the base barber to show the f*ck up. (Source: WB/Screenshot)


5. Jarhead 3: The Siege

The Jarhead franchise just won’t stop making bad movies. Not only does the corporal standing on the left need a quick touch up, but he may want to consider switching out his 8-point cover before the sergeant major rips him a brand new a**hole.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Maybe they bought the cover at an airsoft store? (Source: Universal/ Screenshot)

Bonus: Basic

John Travolta plays DEA investigator Tom Hardy (not that Tom Hardy) in 2003’s “Basic.” Although the character isn’t on active duty, his backstory in the film states he’s a former soldier. So before he goes out on a mission to locate a rogue soldier, we think he should clean it up around his ears.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
That look you give to your hair stylist after to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. (Source: Fox/YouTube/Screenshot)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Sept. 29

In Saudi Arabia, women are driving.


In America, women are graduating the Marine Corps Infantry Officer Course.

In Germany, women are being re-elected to their fourth consecutive term as Chancellor.

Ok, so America isn’t perfect but at least we didn’t elect HITLER, amirite?

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
This is literally the least offensive person I could put here. Bet you thought a Trump joke was coming.

You know what IS perfect? The invention of the meme. More specifically, memes from the veteran community. Here are the funniest we found this week.

1. Let’s start with the Coast Guard (said no one ever). (via Coast Guard Memes)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Now they can wear the same NWU but pretend they aren’t interchangeable.

2. It’s now fall, but it will soon be winter. Get ready.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Winter is coming.

3. Stay warm with Urban Outfitters new Air Force supply stores.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
No one’s a thief, we’re just trying to get our sh*t back.

4. The best part about Fall? Football is back!

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
I’m always in the beer line during the national anthem so I’ve never noticed who stood or sat. Or kneeled. Also, all of those guys look like the E-6s in my first unit.

5. And who’s looking forward to Thanksgiving?

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Pearl Jam has a song about this.

6. Maintainers will probably not get that holiday. Or many holidays. (via Maintainer Humor)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
I was a nonner and can also say this for my career.

7. Everyone gets more breaks than maintainers.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
I clearly don’t know what grunt life is like.

8. For the E-4s of the world, it’s quality over quantity. (via Why I’m Not Re-Enlisting)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Haters will say it’s photoshop.

9. But when you make NCO, Thursdays get more special.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
This is the title of my autobiography.

10. Also, I get the feeling my girl’s been cheating on me.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
We get that feeling too.

11. Isn’t it worth it just to wear the uniform?

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Some days. Not today. But some days.

12. Keep holding on to that dream.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Just ETS things.

13. For now, just do what you do best.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
And dip.

Articles

13 of the funniest military memes for the week of July 14

It’s a long week back after that July 4th hangover. And then some of us have to pick up the other guy’s slack when he goes off to drill.


Good thing military memes always have the watch.

1. We’re still the best. (via ASMDSS)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Don’t worry, America is the best in any universe, no matter which spelling you see.

2. There are a lot of new ideas floating around DoD.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
The Air Force doesn’t like those kinds of shenanigans.

3. But some things never change.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
What happens on the bus stays on the bus.

Read Now: Here’s how aerial gunners were trained to fight their way past the Luftwaffe

4. The CS has been watching a lot of Food Network.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Midrats: It’s what’s for dinner. And lunch. Probably breakfast. From yesterday. Combined.

5. Because Navy PT standards might be taking a beating (via The Salty Sailor)

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
For use only with corpsman supervision.

6. Airmen have a special diet while away from their duty station.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
It’s just an excuse. We’d do it anyway. Wubba lubba dub dub.

7. Because special duties can be stressful.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
He got used to the taste of crayons after a while.

Also: Gene Hackman’s response on why he joined the Marines is TV gold

8. Even the Army has trouble helping out Marine Corps NCOs.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

9. But all NCOs run on the same operating system.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
Somewhere in there, paperwork gets done.

10. At least this weekend we can even look forward to Sunday night.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
We drink and we know things.

Check Out: 7 mysteriously missing body parts of military leaders

11. And maybe forget about that upcoming deployment.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
It’s adorable that you think the bucket list actually means something. Now get out.

12. The ghosts of cadence past can come back to haunt us.

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
The little yellow bird is sick of your sh*t.

13. Who’s got the best callsign in the Air Force?

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas
His Follow Me Car is legendary.

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