We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever - We Are The Mighty
Humor

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

The fighter squadron has long been a staple of the military in the real world – as well as in fiction. When you think “Star Wars,” you think Red Squadron making the trench run. “Robotech” had Skull Squadron. “Baa Baa Black Sheep” had a very fictionalized version of VMF-214, the “Black Sheep.”


There are real squadrons with legendary track records as well. VMF-211 is the famous “Wake Island Avengers,” there are the “Jolly Rogers” from the U.S. Navy, as well as the “Black Aces” of VF-41. The Air Force has the 555th Fighter Squadron (the “Triple Nickel”), as well as the “Juvats” from the 80th Fighter Squadron.

Fighter squadrons can have anywhere from 12 to 24 planes. In this case, we will go with four flights of four planes each. We’ll also add the CO, XO, and Ops Officer slots as well in what we will call All-Star Squadron.

Commanding Officer – Greg “Pappy” Boyington from “Baa Baa Black Sheep”

 

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

The real Pappy Boyington was the top Marine Corps ace – and he had a good run as the commander of VMF-214. The fictionalized version played by Robert Conrad was a superb tactician – cooking up a version of “Operation Bolo” in the pilot of the series, then pulling off several other operations. Also, his experience riding herd on the motley crew of VMF-214 will help with this unit as well.

Executive Officer Wilma Deering from “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

A good pilot in her own right, Wilma also can backstop Boyington’s weaknesses. Notably the paperwork and all the other mundane details that Boyington either got bored with, or may be too hung over to deal with.

Operations Officer – Chappy Sinclair from “Iron Eagle”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

Chappy Sinclair is here as a superb operational planner. In all four “Iron Eagle” movies, he is a mover and shaker — often able to accomplish missions despite long odds and being outnumbered and outgunned. Who else could you pick as the Ops O?

First Flight

All-Star One-One – Jeffrey Sinclair from “Babylon 5”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

With a long family tradition of fighter pilots, Sinclair was no slouch himself, being one of the few survivors from the Battle of the Line. However, in more even fights, he held his own.

All-Star One-Two – Luke Skywalker from “Star Wars”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

This farm kid has been lucky and has a few kills, but he is clearly a raw talent who could learn from being on the wing of a more experienced fighter pilot. This kid will get his own squadron – someday.

All-Star One-Three – David Campbell from “The Longest Day”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

One of “The Few” who had fought off the Nazis in the Battle of Britain, he can be an excellent element lead. Tends to be up for a sortie – unless he’s drinking a beer.

All Star One-Four – Christopher Blair from “Wing Commander”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

He is fresh out of flight training but clearly has some natural ability. Like Skywalker, he is best suited as a wingman for now, but has the ability to rise through the ranks.

Second Flight

All-Star Two-One – Roy Fokker from “Robotech”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

He has seen a lot of combat, and has been a father figure to younger pilots. Given his extensive combat experience, he can lead a flight, no problem.

All-Star Two-Two – Lieutenant Starbuck from the original “Battlestar Galactica”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

A sharp pilot who can sometimes get himself in too deep (he’s crashed his fighter a number of times), Starbuck is not quite yet flight or element lead material.

All-Star Two-Three – Wedge Antilles from “Star Wars”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

This guy has plenty of experience, and he has managed to survive two Death Star runs. That said, his units have taken heavy casualties in the past. Good enough to command an element, but flight lead may be a stretch for now.

All-Star Two-Four – Doug Masters from “Iron Eagle”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

Another natural stick with a high kill count. Still, there is a distinct need for more seasoning. Though Masters does seem to enjoy playing tunes while flying.

Third Flight

All-Star Three-One – Tyrus Cassius McQueen from “Space: Above and Beyond”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

He’s taken on an enemy ace and lived, plus he has a track record of being a mentor to younger pilots. McQueen’ll be able to handle the other pilots in this flight.

All-Star Three-Two – Steven Hiller from “Independence Day”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

He’s a good pilot – scoring a maneuver kill against an enemy that had a means to neutralize other weapons. Then he readily adapted to flying an alien craft. While he may get his own squadron some day, right now, he needs someone more experienced to get him to settle down and get over his obsession with the Fat Lady.

All-Star Three-Three – Cameron Mitchell from “Stargate: SG-1”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

He’s had combat experience on Earth and against the Gou’ald, as well as some small-unit leadership experience. Mitchell also received the Medal of Honor for heroism.

All-Star Three-Four – Pete Mitchell from “Top Gun”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(WATM photo archive)

No relation to Cameron Mitchell, Pete is a very good pilot with three kills in one engagement over the Indian Ocean. That said, some view his unorthodox style as “dangerous,” and he has made high-speed passes on various towers.

Fourth Flight

All-Star Four-One – Brad Little from “Fire Birds”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

Okay, he mostly flew rotary-wing aircraft, but he has extensive experience as an instructor, and did score a kill on a fighter with an Apache.

All-Star Four-Two – Harmon Rabb, Jr. from “JAG”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

Rabb’s shown some skill, but had a lengthy layoff due to his assignment to the Judge Advocate General corps for an extended period. He’ll catch on quick, but let’s season him under Little.

All-Star Four-Three – Blaine Rawlings from “Flyboys”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

The combat experience Rawlings has is substantial, and he did down a pair of German aces. He was also awarded the Croix de Guerre for a daring rescue.

All-Star Four-Four – Tom Kazanski from “Top Gun”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
(Youtube Screenshot)

The man flies by the book, and has very rarely made a mistake (over the Indian Ocean, he got target-fixated and a MiG-28 damaged his bird). We figure he’s best suited to flying as someone’s wingman until he can loosen up a little.

Who do you think we should add? Let us know in the comments below.

Humor

5 of the crappiest things about serialized gear

Infantrymen love getting all kinds of cool sh*t to work and train with, that’s no secret. However, some of the gear they’re issued is super freakin’ expensive, and the government likes to keep an extra-close eye on it by assigning serialized gear.


Everything, from your main weapon system to your sharp bayonet, is serialized with an engraved or handwritten number, making it individually identifiable.

Although it’s cool to mount your night vision goggles to your kevlar for a night mission, having serialized gear comes with its own set of drawbacks.

1. It’s never as clean as when you checked it in

Serialized gear isn’t kept in service members’ living spaces for a good reason: we’d play with it all the time. Instead, it’s housed in the dusty and dirty armory. That said, rarely is the serialized gear as clean as you’d like it to be with all the lubricant and filthy rags also stored there.

Plus, the armorer’s hands are usually pretty filthy when they’re conducting your check-in and check-out.

 

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
How well do you think they clean out every single compartment?

 

2. You might have to pay for serialized gear

Sometimes, serialized gear gets damaged or stolen — it happens more than you think. The major problem for you is that your command has to free you from paying for that broken or damaged gear out-of-pocket.

Serialized equipment is usually more expensive than the rest of stuff and, the reality is, some service members get stuck with the bill of replacing the items.

So, that sucks.

3. All the fun stuff requires batteries

NVGs and PEQ-16s run on battery power in order to function. These well-constructed light technologies work together as some of the lasers of the PEQ-16 can only be seen by using specific NVGs.

However, once the batteries die, the fun dies with it.

 

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

Members of SEAL Team Six as they raid bin Laden’s compound. (Screenshot from Sony Pictures’ Zero Dark Thirty)

 

4. The serialized gear seems more valuable to the government than the troop carrying it.

Unfortunately, troops occasionally get hit while engaging the enemy. Since 99.9% of us carry a weapon — which is also serialized — if some of that gear goes missing after the troop is removed from the area, the rest of the squad must recover the equipment before going to the base. Sometimes, a recovery mission is ordered to search for left gear if need be.

You wouldn’t want the bad guys to get a free pair of night vision goggles.

5. You can get NJP’d for breaking or losing something

Destruction of Government Property is a real offense according to your staff NCOs, especially if you’re talking about serialized gear. Getting a tattoo is considered the same offense, but no one ever got charged with getting an Eagle, Globe, and Anchor inked on their arm.

You can break one of the springs in your magazine, but don’t you dare drop your serialized bayonet in a canal in Afghanistan and watch the current take it away. You could get in a lot of trouble.

 

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of July 25

Guys, there are so, so many memes on the internet. Here are 13 of our favorite military ones:


1. So vicious. Much danger.

(via Air Force Nation)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
And seriously, who puts their 1-quart on their back?

2. “Guys. Guys, this is going to be so funny.”

(via Do You Even Jump?)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

SEE ALSO: Vietnam War Huey pilot Charles Kettles awarded Medal of Honor for saving 40 soldiers

3. Every soldier is a part of the total fight. No job is more important than any other (via The Salty Soldier).

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Take pride in your service, private. You’re doing the Lord’s work.

4. The one on the left who’s just pointing at the drowning stuffed animals is the future officer (via Sh-t my LPO says).

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Why weren’t the bunny and kitty cat wearing life vests?

5. Just 27 more months. Just 27 more months. Just —

(via Team Non-Rec)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

6. “No, sergeant. I’m completely caught up. Are you going to send me home?”

(via Grunt Style)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

7. “You give your dog bones? We make the bird find its own.” (via Military Memes)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

8. “There, there, sir. How about a nice box of apple juice?”

(via The Salty Soldier)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

9. “Hooked on phonics worked for me.”

(via Sh-t my LPO says)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Once he can read, he can go anywhere in his imagination.

10. You tell him, Seaman Dobby (via Sh-t my LPO says).

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
That’s what chief gets for throwing you that nasty sock.

11. Am I misreading this or is the helicopter being sent to rescue a stranded Coast Guardsman?

(via Coast Guard Memes)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Having to rescue doesn’t seem like a real point of pride, but whatevs, guardians. You do you.

12. We remember, too, Pepperidge Farm! It was back when it was called the “Army Air Corps.”

(via Air Force Memes Humor)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Fine, the Air Force was pretty impressive in Vietnam and Korea.

13. Every Marine is a (insert whatever the Corps needs at this moment).

(via Devil Dog Nation)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Jacks of all trades, masters only of amphibious warfare.

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of Oct. 21

Alright, everyone. Remember to pace and budget yourselves. Next weekend is Halloween weekend, so don’t blow your entire savings account and get an Article 15.


You do that next weekend. In the meantime, check out these 13 funny military memes:

1. When your commander goes into the fine detail of each policy letter on day one:

(via Team Non-Rec)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Don’t even fight it. Just make it worth it.

2. This is why they do sustained airborne training before every jump (via Air Force Nation)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Because this would be a horrible time not to remember what to do next.

SEE ALSO: This Coast Guard reservist saved an Army-Navy convoy in world War II

3. Hey, at least he actually managed to get a signal out (via Military Memes)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
He’s using none of the proper radio protocol, but still. Got a signal.

4. Just apply the fundamentals the same way, and these site adjustments will put you dead center (via Team Non-Rec).

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Except you know that the trigger puller is going to change their site picture.

5. Only gets an 8 out of 10 because he has no ammo (via Military Memes)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
That shirtless look becomes much less cool when the armor starts to chafe.

6. If it’s on the list, you better have it (via Devil Dog Nation)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
I like the idea of ancient knights with PT mats.

7. Really didn’t think the Coast Guard would have the bootiest boots who ever booted, but there you go (via Coast Guard Memes)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

8. And that’s when things got serious (via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
How often do security forces use their radar guns to check passing planes? Better be constantly.

9. How the Air Force feels whenever one of the surface branches wants to make fun of them:

(via The Salty Soldier)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
They get much quieter when you challenge them to anything physical.

10. “So, want to walk close enough that one grenade could kill everyone?” (via Military Memes)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

11. Seriously, admin. Why can you not keep track of this for more than 10 minutes?

(via The Salty Soldier)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
There’s no way it’s that hard to not lose sheets of paper.

13. Sweepers, sweepers, time to do our sweepers.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

12. The time to prep for a tornado is not during the tornado (via The Salty Soldier).

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
That poor CQ NCO is going to have some uncomfortable talks with the sergeant major.

Articles

That time West Point kidnapped the Academy’s mascot and started its losing streak

Around Veterans’ Day, 2002, a crack team made its way towards a high-value target located in a farm near Gambrillis, Maryland.


They’d gone in mufti, and waited until the coast was clear before they carried out their plan. In a few minutes, the daring personnel carrying out this special operation had succeeded: “Bill the Goat” was now a prisoner of the United States Military Academy.

A New York Times report shortly afterwards quoted a Navy academy spokesman as saying, “I can confirm that one of our goats is missing. However, we would be surprised that a West Point cadet is involved, given that we have had an agreement for a number of years that mascots will not be stolen.”

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

The Naval Academy soon got a photo showing an Army cadet next to Bill. The cadet was in uniform – albeit he had hidden his identity with a ski mask.

“It behooves us to keep a low profile until the game, but we’re trying to keep this lighthearted and not get in anyone’s face,” the anonymous cadet told the New York Times. “And we want to assure Navy that we’ve been treating our guest with utmost deference. In fact, he’s been putting on weight.”

Bill was later returned to the Navy. Plans to shave an “A” for Army on him were not implemented, and the cadets were given amnesty in exchange for coming forward and revealing where they had stashed Bill the Goat.

He was returned before the Army-Navy game. That year, Navy beat Army, 58-12. Since then, the Navy has not lost to Army in the annual game.

That said, since then, the Navy has twice been victimized by operations aimed at this high-value target. In 2007, the Washington Examiner reported that Army cadets again pulled off this masterpiece of pranks, posting the video on YouTube (it was called “Operation Good Shepherd”).

In 2012, unidentified individuals snatched Bill and left him tied to a pole near the Pentagon, according to the Navy Times.

Past kidnappings also included the first in 1953, which prompted an order from President Dwight D. Eisenhower for the animal’s return. In 1960, the Air Force Academy captured Bill and flew him to a Colorado farm. An A-26 Invader was used as the getaway plane. A 1995 operation by Army cadets resulted in the capture of all three Navy mascots.

Humor

This famous bridge adds an Army LMTV to its list of kills

Right off North Carolina Highway 147 in Durham sits a relic of older railroad overpass regulations. The 78-year old bridge that runs along South Gregson Street has a clearance of only 11 feet 8 inches. It has become known across the internet as “The Can-Opener Bridge” because of the astounding number of overconfident truck drivers who think they can squeeze their vehicle under it. Recently, the bridge claimed its 130th victim: an Army LMTV.


Local truck drivers know to avoid the overpass, so nearly every vehicle that gets clipped is either a rental or from out-of-state. The costs of raising the railroad tracks would be astronomical and the city’s main sewer line runs underneath, meaning lowering the road is impossible.

Thankfully, to date, there have been no fatalities and only three minor injuries. The city of Durham is content to plaster the area with a ridiculous amount of warnings to drivers, including a traffic light and gigantic, flashing sign that triggers if a height sensor is tripped. But all of these cautions don’t deter idiots drivers who aren’t willing to take a short detour.

To be completely honest, I don’t think they even want to fix it because it’s too funny.

 

So, what’s a city to do that has a hilarious problem that only affects morons who obviously don’t know their vehicle and fail to acknowledge the many signals? Put up a 24/7 webcam and create an internet attraction, obviously!

The most recent addition to the bridge’s long list of victims is a U.S. Army LMTV from an undisclosed unit. Many sites have erroneously claimed that the truck was carrying some “top secret device that needed to be covered” when it hit the bridge. In actuality, it was just a regular ol’ weapon mount that’s kept covered as not to freak out civilians. The driver of the vehicle has also not been named, but the Private (or soon-to-be-Private) is definitely never going to live this one down.

 

 
Humor

5 things you should know before diving into a ‘contract marriage’

Scenario #1: A young service member walks into their newly assigned barracks room and notices how nasty it is. And on top of that, they have to share the small space with two or three other people that may or may not be very clean. The struggle is real.


Scenario #2: A service member may just have received orders to go on a 13-month deployment wants to make some cash while they’re gone.

Both of these very real circumstances of military life can be strong motivators for troops to tie the knot — and not for love.

Make money, money, money! (images via Giphy

Often called a “contract marriage,” these pairings are purely for monetary gain or medical benefits. No one is suggesting you do this versus saving your money or getting a second job if your command allows, but if you do it, keep these very important things in mind.

Related: 7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

1. He/she can turn you in

Your contract husband or wife can blow the whistle on your verbal agreement without repercussions. So you’d better keep them happy.

Oh, sh*t! Busted. (images via Giphy)

2. Adultery is illegal

In the eyes of the military, you’re legally married (imagine that). So if you get caught engaging adult activites with anyone other than your spouse, you’re on the hook sailor.

Preach! (images via Giphy)

3. If she gets pregnant by you or someone else…

You better lawyer up, get divorced or decide to take care of the little rascal to keep the added benefits. That is all.

 You don’t want your name on that birth certificate. (images via Giphy)  

4. Separation pay

In some cases, if you play your cards right, you might be eligible for separation pay.

Separation pay is when your spouse “lives” in another area for one legitimate reason or another. Think about it. (images via Giphy)

Also Read: 7 ways to prove your spouse is really a spy

5. Repayment

If you do get a divorce, the military typically won’t stop the extra pay right away. So don’t go spending all that extra cash too fast. The government will take back every cent from your paycheck until they recoup what’s theirs.

The answer is, yes. (images via Giphy)You’re welcome America!

Humor

6 reasons airmen hate on Marines

There’s no best way to describe the rivalry between the branches of the American military to an outsider. It’s kinda like an inventive d*ck measuring contest mixed with elements of the Stanford Prison Experiment. Everyone talks about how they’re somehow the best while acknowledging their shortcomings.


We hate on each other for whatever reasons, but at the end of the day, we’re still on the same side.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
For example, the Air Force’s Maj. Jeremiah Parvin and the Marine Corps’ Master Gunnery Sgt. Richard Wells here. Parvin received the Distinguished Flying Cross with Valor for actions that saved the lives of Wells’ team during a 2008 deployment to Afghanistan. That’s how we do in real life.

And the rivalry doesn’t stop just because a veteran gets a DD-214. If anything, it gets worse. Just look at the Army-Navy Game. Are you ready to watch two irrelevant college football teams talk shit for weeks leading up to a game whose disappointment starts with ugly uniforms and usually ends with the Navy blowing out Army?

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
That’s what happens to the Army without air support.

Also: 6 reasons why Marines hate on the Air Force

It’s usually all in good fun. But if you didn’t serve, don’t join in – veterans from every branch will turn on you immediately. That being said, let’s take a look at few good reasons airmen hate on Marines.

6. Those stupid haircuts.

Nothing says “motarded” like a Marine’s haircut. You know those memes where a guy with a stupid haircut asks a barber to f*ck up his shit? You could make a book of those memes just walking around Camp Pendleton.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Seriously, wtf is that? An inverted Mohawk?

5. They take everything so seriously.

Look, I get it. A lot of Marines are going to see combat. Every Marine is a rifleman, sure. But don’t wait til you’re in the barracks drinking cheap beer, hanging with even cheaper locals to lighten up.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
You don’t have to marry the first stripper you see in Jacksonville is all I’m saying.

4. Calling us the “Chair Force.”

If you’re a Marine Corps legal clerk, maybe slow your roll on calling anyone “Chair Force.” On an Air Force base, you’d still be derided as a nonner, which is as close to POG as the Air Force gets.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Sometimes we roll the same way, it just doesn’t take an airman 13 weeks to get there.

Also, the Chair Force crack is so old, Marines are probably going to honor it with a plaque or memorial of some kind.

3. Their damn uniforms.

Look, no one is going to argue about Marine Corps dress blues — we acknowledge they’re pretty damn cool, but let’s talk about the MARPAT. There was nothing wrong with BDUs. We all wore them and they worked for 20 years. Then the Marines had to have their own cammies, because optics and whatnot.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Look at all our Afghan enemies’ optics.

Okay, say we get into a war with China or something, then those might be useful. Hopefully we never find out. The real beef with the uniforms is that they led to every service getting their own uniform, and the Air Force ended up in these:

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Cool tiger stripes — at least we’re not the Navy.

2. And what’s with celebrities wearing Marine uniforms?

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Way to represent the Air Force, Chuck. You’re dead to me. (U.S. Air Force Photo by Staff Sgt. Tia Schroeder)

1. Complaining about superior Air Force facilities.

We hear you. Marine Corps facilities are garbage compared to the Air Force. The truth is that most facilities are garbage compared to the Air Force, even civilian facilities are garbage compared to the Air Force.

But Marines should be complaining to the Navy about facilities. After all, it wasn’t an airman that put Mackie Hall next to Sh*t Creek. You either get indoor plumbing or the F-35, but you can’t have both.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
And the Air Force didn’t make that call for your leadership, either. Yut.

As for our chocolate fountains, I don’t know where that meme came from and I don’t care. If I wanted to eat from the garbage, I’d visit a Marine Corps chow hall.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Look at him. He either loves it or is just trying to struggle through another meal. (U.S. Marine Corps photo)

There’s only one thing I won’t hate on the Corps for though: Those recruiting commercials. F*cking epic.

(TheMilitaryProject | YouTube)
Humor

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Platoon sergeants aren’t there to be liked by the platoon, they’re there to make sure the platoon is prepared for every mission.


But, when a platoon sergeant gets along with their troops, it’s great for morale.

Personally, we think there’d no better person for the job than Wade Wilson, a.k.a Deadpool. Why?

Related: 6 DC comic heroes who served in the Army

1. He’s freaking hilarious

Platoon sergeants have a special talent for humor, almost as if they teach it at Infantry Unit Leaders Course. Deadpool has mastered the art like it’s his job.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
He also has a dirty sense of humor.

2. Deadpool isn’t the “aye, sir” type

Deadpool bows to no one. Like any good platoon sergeant, if he disagrees with a higher-up, he says something about it — which means he would always fight for his guys.

The lower enlisted members of the platoon love platoon sergeants who are willing to fight on their behalf at the company office.

3. He’s always willing to joke around

Deadpool earned the title, “Merc with a mouth” by always finding the time to crack wise, using the previously-mentioned, professional-level sarcasm. This is a quality shared by the best platoon sergeants and adored by the lower enlisted members of their platoons.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Even in the heat of battle, he finds the time to crack a joke.

4. He has no filter

When explaining to a higher-up that he disagrees with something, you know Deadpool won’t veil his point in metaphor — he’s going to be blunt and honest. And he’ll probably be absolutely hilarious in the process.

Also read: 6 differences between machine gunners and riflemen

5. Deadpool is nearly impossible to kill

Most platoon sergeants are seemingly bulletproof, but Deadpool actually bulletproof. If wounded, he can simply regenerate, making him an extremely hard target.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
He can survive anything you throw or shoot at him… or stab or blow him up with. (Image from 20th Century Fox’s Deadpool)

Humor

5 awful hand salutes that don’t even come close

From greeting a superior officer, showing homage to the American flag, or paying respect to a fallen comrade — saluting is a powerful non-verbal communication gesture for showing proper respect.


With no real written record of how or where the tradition began, the salute dates back far in history when troops would raise their right hand (or their weapon hand) as a signal of friendship.

Back in the days, the subordinate person hand-gestured first in the presence of a superior who would then respond accordingly, which is the same practice used today — lower-ranking personnel salute higher ranking first.

Recruits learn how to hand salute in boot camp and demonstrate it hundreds of times before heading out to active duty. The gesture becomes instant as muscle memory takes over.

But many civilians nowadays salute as a form of celebration — and they get it so so wrong.

Related: 35 technical errors in ‘Rules of Engagement’

So check out our list of awful hand salutes that weren’t even close.

(Seriously — where are the military consultants?)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

The over-the-top salute. (Image via Giphy)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

He needs lessons…badly. (Image via Giphy)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

Chris Evans (some talk show)

Also Read: 5 epic military movie mistakes

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

He made this list freakin’ twice. (Image via Giphy)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

You know we couldn’t leave this one out. (Source: WB/ YouTube/ Screenshot)

Steven Seagal (Under Siege)

Can you think of any others?

Humor

7 things you’ll never hear a Marine drill instructor say

Marine Corps boot camp is specially designed to mentally break down recruits before allowing them to earn the prestigious title of U.S. Marine.


When Marine hopefuls step on those famous yellow footprints during the receiving process, they need to be ready to have tons of information hurled at them.

Throughout their 13 weeks of training, recruits can expect to hear all manner of orders, insults, and jokes screamed at them.

Related: 9 things you’ll never hear your platoon sergeant say

However, it’s doubtful they will ever hear these words:

7. “Whenever you’re ready, gentlemen.”

Drill instructors aren’t patient or gentle with their recruits because they don’t have to be. In fact, if a recruit isn’t moving at “double-time” — they’re freakin’ wrong.

6. “If we are too mean, let us know and we’ll tone it down for you.” That’s not what the Marines are for?

That’s just not going to happen, really.

5. “If you can’t run three miles, it’s okay to quit after just one.”

Marines pride themselves on finishing every job. Instilling that no-fail mindset into young recruits is critical.

 

marines running
Lt. Col. David Bardorf and Sgt. Maj. Michael Rowan lead their battalion on a run during the annual battalion’s physical training session. (Photo from USMC)

 

4. “You are outstanding! I can’t wait to serve with you one day in a grunt unit.”

The U.S. Marine Corps is known for being the smallest branch. It’s rare that you’ll run into your senior drill instructor years down the line, but it happens. That being said, the recruit you are now isn’t the Marine they’ll want to serve beside later.

3. “I will never show you my knife-hand.” Marines learn love knife hands. Or Embrace them, at least.

You will see your DI’s knife-hand frequently and often.

Marine DI executing a knife hand
This DI executes a perfect knife-hand at a recruit rocking a glow belt. (Photo from USMC)

 

2. “Slow down. The war will wait for you.”

The war doesn’t wait and you should never slow down. If that’s not common sense to you now, it will be.

Also Read: 5 heroic movie acts a military officer would never do

1. “Don’t worry about learning your general orders because they’re useless.” Not in Marine hell.

General orders are a pain in the ass to memorize, but they’re burnt into your memory because they can save lives.

 

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
U.S. Marine Corps Staff Sgt. Christopher J. Rebollar, a drill instructor with Company D, 1st Recruit Training Battalion, Recruit Training Regiment, corrects a recruit aboard Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego, Calif., June 20, 2016. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Erick J. ClarosVillalta)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

This is why the terminology matters between firearms

In just about every discussion, precise terminology matters. Take the term ‘troops,’ for example. Both Soldiers and sailors fall under the ‘troop’ category, but they’re drastically different. Even within sailors, a ‘submariner’ is very different from a ‘Seabee.’ When two types of troops have responsibilities that overlap, such as an Army combat engineer and a Navy Seabee, the preciseness of terminology is even more important to avoid confusion. Weapons also call for the same type of specific language, as there are many tools to fill similar — but not identical — roles.


Author’s note: There are many classifications and categories of firearms. This is only meant to be a brief intro sprinkled with a dash of comedy. In the following article, there will be things missed and things discussed that don’t have a universally accepted term — like a slug-barrelled, magazine-fed, semi-automatic shotgun which is totally not a rifle. 

Anything can become a weapon in the right hands. Hell, as many of us know, a sandal is a terrifying weapon in the hands of an angry mother. This is also a perfect explanation for what constitutes an assault weapon. If your mother is wearing the sandal, it’s just footwear. If your mother saw your sh*tty report card, she’s now reaching for her “assault sandal.” ‘Assault’ is just the descriptor for a weapon being used against someone.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Any slipper can become an assault chancla in the wrong hands.

Now, a weapon is only considered a firearm if it uses a burning propellant to cast a bullet, missile, or shell. This is the universally accepted term for everything ranging from a Howitzer to a pistol. Then there’s the term ‘gun.’ Most people use this as the catch-all, but it’s not. A gun is a weapon with shells or rounds manually-loaded into the chamber through a breach (or muzzle for older firearms). Typically, this term is used for crew-operated cannons, like field guns and artillery.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Does it take more than one person to fire it? It’s a gun. (Photo by Sgt. Aaron Ellerman)

Some long guns (like muskets or light machine guns), most shotguns (especially breach-loaded ones), and some handguns (like revolvers) can be called guns and no one will bat an eye. These fall under either small arms (single-operator firearms) or light weapons (designed and typically team-operated). “Light weapons” includes your heavy machine guns and portable rocket launchers.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

Easily the largest source of confusion, however, is the small arms category. A rifle gets its name from the helical pattern cut into bore wall (the rifling) of the barrel. Back when rifling was introduced on a musket, it was known as a “rifled gun.” The rifling makes the round more accurate at further distances. It’s the same reasoning behind throwing a football in a spiral.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Is it a rifle? Is it a gun? The answer is: yes. (Photo by Sgt. Scott Akanewich)

Rifled barrels are used in a wide assortment of firearms, from small arms to crew-serviced weapons. Handguns can have them, and so can the aforementioned slug-barrelled shotguns. But without any other distinguishers, the term ‘rifle’ covers a huge categorical umbrella. It covers anything that’s a single-user, magazine-fed firearm with a long, rifled barrel. Carbine is a fairly loose term, but it generally applies to rifles with shorter barrels.

To sum up the terminology used in today’s firing ranges as Barney-style as possible: Call the firearm what it is. In general, a rifle is a firearm that only needs one operator. A gun is intended for two operators but can be used by one.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Now you understand this joke a little bit more. (Warner Brothers’ Full Metal Jacket)

Fun fact: The term “assault rifle” comes from the German Sturmgewehr. It was named that because Hitler wanted his new weapon to sound more intimidating, even though it was nearly identical to other selective-fire rifles of the time. So yes, It is very much Nazi propaganda to call a rifle an “assault rifle” to make it more terrifying.

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of Dec. 8

Tomorrow, almost 70,000 U.S. troops and veterans will pack Philadelphia’s Lincoln Financial Field to watch two college football teams with records that could barely be called “winning” go head-to-head for the Commander-In-Chief Trophy.


Usually, when 70,000 American troops are hanging out, they’re either defending South Korea or taking Iwo Jima from the Japanese. This time, it’s for the Army-Navy Game.

Even if you’re not a fan of Army, Navy, sports, America, or fun, you can still enjoy these memes.

13. Who did this and why did it take you so long?

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
They still only award it to E-7 and above.

12. This week we remembered Pearl Harbor.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
That’s only because the Navy doesn’t have the right weapons… yet.

11. How do we show the Saudis what freedom means to us? (via Maintainer Nation)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

Read: The reason Army helicopters are named after native tribes will make you smile

10. When deployed, sand can be a nuisance. (via Decelerate Your Life)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
At home, it can be handy.

9. How to avoid going to the PX barber before Christmas leave.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
And avoid being recognized for anything but the boss you are.

8. I’m all for esprit de corps, but… (via Coast Guard Memes)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
And take your Axe Body Spray with you.

Check out: A patriotic US hacker hijacked North Korean propaganda to play ‘the Final Countdown’

7. How to get Stan/Eval to ban bells.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

6. How to find all the synonyms of ‘penis.’

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
And probably all the words for sex acts.

5. Christmas shopping in the barracks. (Via People of the PX)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Black Friday deals are insane.

Also Read: 3 Key differences between Recon Marines and Marine Raiders

4. Watch out for the gunpowder in the food.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Also, beware the Ether Bunny.

3. This is why they still make pennies. (via Decelerate Your Life)

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

2. The Air Force’s dog is a full-bird piloting a C-130.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Pilot shortages are a b*tch.

1. Why memes are important.

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever
Everything you need to know before visiting a recruiter.

Now read: An enormous family of 41 are all training at the same post

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