Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America's watch - We Are The Mighty
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Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

Let’s face it. The world likes — and America loves — zombie movies.


The idea of having to fight across the countryside and through clustered cities, cutting down hordes of the undead with a shotgun is enticing.

That’s why zombie movies and video games do so well. The “Resident Evil” franchise released its sixth film 20 years after its first video game hit the market. That’s a two-decade run for, “Zombies, but like, monsters, too.”

But, sorry, Milla Jovovich fans. There is no way that a zombie outbreak is taking over the U.S. or any allied country while the American military is around. Here’s how the U.S. would respond to a zombie outbreak, shutting it down quickly.

First, let’s assume that an entire country was ravaged before America geared up, just for funsies. (But, really, military human intelligence collectors and signal intelligence should have given us the heads up before a single town was wiped out). And let’s assume it’s a country that emphatically said the U.S. military wasn’t welcome, and that’s why the outbreak went on as long as it did.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Seriously, we’re always looking for somewhere cool to send these. We’d be happy to come hang out. (Photo: U.S. Army)

So, Russia is gone. (It’s the country that hates the U.S. the most, according to this recently Googled list). While the rest of the world is sad that they’ll never again see such awesome paratrooper music videos as Russia makes, it’s time for someone to put a stop to the epidemic.

Enter the U.S. military. If the Russian military managed to wipe out only 10 percent of their zombie population while trying to contain the outbreaks — a pretty low estimate for any modern military facing off against shambling, diseased civilians — that would leave approximately 130 million zombies for the U.S. to kill before they can cross any of the 12,421 miles of border.

In other words, varsity numbers.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Troops would probably pay for the chance to mow down zombies, even if it had to be done in the snow. (Photo: U.S. Air Force Airman 1st Class Javier Alvarez)

But America has a varsity military. On active duty, the U.S. has over 450,000 soldiers; 182,000 Marines; 323,000 sailors who man and support 274 battle force ships; and 325,000 airmen supporting and flying 5,032 aircraft.

And, Russia has good topography for containing zombies. Because of the mountain ranges (in black, below) and the Arctic Circle (in red), there are only a few places where zombies could conceivably break out of Russia to threaten the rest of the world in large numbers.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Zombies can only get out of Russia through some limited breakout zones, and that one to the east is pretty useless because it runs straight into the Sea of Okhotsk. (Map: Public domain. Graphics: crudely drawn by Logan Nye)

So, small contingents of the Navy can patrol the Arctic and a few dozen companies of POGs can guard the mountain ranges, picking off the few zombies lucky enough to make it through the mountain passes.

But the western and southern breakout zones could be huge problems for American allies and the world as a whole.

The southern breakout zones would give the zombies access to Kazahkstan and maybe Mongolia. The western gives a large front that hits Ukraine, Estonia, Latvia, and Finland. It also hits Belarus, but they hate America nearly as much as Russia does, so screw ’em.

And Russia’s population is centered near that breakout zone, meaning that most zombies will be in good shape when they try to pour into NATO.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
There’s nothing in so good a shape that it can resist an Apache, though. (Photo: Ministry of Defence)

So what could 632,000 ground combatants supported by the largest navy and the most advanced air force in the world possibly do against 130 million zombies?

Lol. They would kill an average of 205.7 zombies each, and it would be awesome.

The Navy would park multiple carriers in the Baltics and Barents seas. From there, they could fly strike aircraft and sensor platforms to find and target large clusters of zombies.

The Air Force would bring its own strike and ground attack planes as far east in Europe as they could hold the line. From there, A-10s and AC-130s would rain hot lead in support of ground pounders while B and F-series planes blanket the countryside with bombs.

Finally. Guilt-free carpet bombing is back.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
We’re going to need more zombies. (Photo: U.S. Air Force)

And sure, none of these are the headshots needed to permanently put down a zombie. But a few hundred pounds of explosives will mess up a zombie’s legs pretty badly, as will 30 mike-mike through the chest. Pretty sure that will make the infantry and other ground maneuver forces’ jobs a little easier.

Speaking of which, the Marine Corps and Army are going to love the most entertaining range they’ve ever held. Think about it. What sucks most about range days? First, being put on target detail. And, second, having to shut down the range every time a turtle wanders by.

Guess what? No one is going to order a range halt because of a turtle when a bio menace is marching towards Paris. And there’s no need for a target detail when the targets can be lured with the sound of gunfire.

So, the Marines and soldiers basically get to call shots to each other as they gun down crippled zombies over a couple of thousand miles of the Russian border. If the engineers can wait to shoot zombies long enough to dig a couple of trenches and raise concertina obstacles, it’ll delay the already wounded zombies even further.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
The best is going to be when people start stealing AAVs, tanks, and Strykers and driving them over zombies. (Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Cpl. Xzavior T. McNeal)

And don’t think the artillery and mortarmen are going to let a chance to practice against undead targets pass them by.

The biggest challenge is going to be making sure that all those cavalry, infantry, etc. have enough ammo. But remember, American logistics troops train to maintain operations in a contested environment. This time, they would have completely safe roads, railways, and rivers to use without fear of significant enemy resistance.

Hell, the operation could probably be catered.

So soldiers and Marines could simply mow down the oncoming hordes, talking the machine guns and interchanging barrels to prevent a meltdown. No Milla Jovovich needed (though she would probably be welcome on a USO tour or something).

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Yeah. Probably welcome. (Photo: YouTube/Sony Pictures Entertainment)

Of course, the Navy SEALs can be used to clean out river deltas where zombies were washed downstream attempting a crossing, and the Green Berets can jump into zombie-held territory to try and train up survivors for resistance operations if they like.

But zombie operations are basically just the world’s easiest siege. None of the enemies can tunnel, or use weapons, or conduct coordinated military operations. Easy, peasy.

Articles

This corpsman has 10 useful tips to assist a gunshot victim

As a former Navy Hospital Corpsman who served in Afghanistan, treating sick and injured Marines was a daily task. So I compiled a list to help in the event you come across someone who is suffering from a fresh gunshot wound. Basically, follow these steps, and you too can help save a gunshot victim.


1. Don’t freak out.

During a traumatic event, adrenaline will enter your bloodstream, causing your heart rate to increase. You could also experience some tunnel vision. Remember to breathe. The calmer you are, the better you can maneuver your thought process during the situation.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

2. Call 9-1-1

Calling 9-1-1 is free from any phone in America, even if it’s turned off for “billing issues.” As long as the battery has some juice, you can dial the popular 3-digit number (just don’t ask the operator to do you a favor and call your relative and forward them a message; not cool).

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

Note: It’s important to know your location. The operator may ask when you phone in.

3. Check the wound or wounds

While you’re on hold, locate the entry wound. Did the bullet exit anywhere?

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

A man has 7 holes, where a woman has 8. (Trust me, I was a corpsman.) If the person been shot, they’ll have 1 or 2 extra. Typically, the entrance wound won’t be as large in diameter as the exit, so it can be easily missed when you first go all Magellan exploring.

If the wound is pouring out blood or squirting out rapidly each time your heart beats you’ll want to . . .

4. Stop arterial bleeds

The location of the arterial bleed depends on what technique you’ll use to control the hemorrhage. If the victim’s arm or leg is the affected area, placing a tourniquet above the wound is the best option and only above the joint, never below. But how to make one?

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

Use your belt or a loose fitting shirt to tie it around the limb – never use a shoelace! Using a shoelace can damage the surrounding healthy skin tissue and just adds to the laundry list of injuries. We don’t want that. For all other areas — arterial bleeds such as neck, groin, and armpit injuries — using a pressure dressing is your last and only option.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

Packing the wound with really any fabric on hand – a shirt, t-shirt or a sock (yes, I said sock) – will limit the amount of blood loss. The goal is to get the wound to clot. But what if the bullet entered the chest cavity? Then you’re going to want to …

5. Know your A-B-C’s

No, I’m not referring to the alphabet (although you should totally know it). A-B-C stands for Airway, Breathing, and Circulation. If the victim is screaming in pain, chances are, their airway is clear and they’re breathing well enough. If they’re not, the question becomes how good of a person are you? Good enough to pump oxygen into their lungs via mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

A bullet lodged in a lung is a bad thing. Oxygen and carbon dioxide shouldn’t be able to escape out any other path than your trachea. This can cause your lung to decompress on itself and collapse it. The room air can penetrate inside the chest cavity and further compress your lungs.

Implement the use of a chest dressing with a flutter valve. By covering the wound with a thin flexible plastic covering and taping 3 sides. Air can only escape, not be brought in. If done correctly, it works every time.

The circulation test is simple. Do they carry a pulse? By checking the patient’s major pulses in their neck, wrists or in their feet. You’ll find out the strength of the heart which will inform you the amount of the blood the body has lost. The stronger the better.

How do I know if the victim has lost to much blood?

6. Is it getting chilly in here?

Blood is the bodies main source of regulating its core temperature of 98.6 degrees. The more blood the victim loses, the lower body temperature will fall and the faster the pulse will become as it increases to provide oxygen through the body. Your buddy (or the stranger you’re trying to save) could start to feel as cold as if they were running naked through the Alaskan wilderness even though it’s a hot summer day in Southern California.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

This is called going into shock.

It’s time to warm up. Presuming the patient’s is laying down:

  1.  Raise their legs up above their heart. Gravity will pull the blood down their legs and send it back to the heart. Their legs will probably go numb, but it’s a small price to pay. They will either have to die or suffer from “pins and needles.”
  2. Cover the man or woman up with a blanket if you have one.
  3. “Spoon with them” – sounds crazy but I’ve had to spoon a few Marines in my time to warm them back up.
  4. And don’t forget to tell them…

7. The bleeding you can’t see is the one you need to worry about

Internal bleeding to the victim and the Good Samaritan is your worse enemy… but more so for the victim. Without proper medical instrumentation, controlling internal blood loss is impossible externally. Skin bruising may occur as a hematoma sets in.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

Treatment: I’ve got nothing, but good luck!

8. Check and recheck

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

Only the paramedics know how long it will take before they show up. Depending on what neighborhood the crime took place, you could be waiting for a while.

Just kidding, but seriously it could be awhile. So this would be a good time to check all the tourniquets and pressure dressings you literally just learned how to install. Let’s face it: like any maintenance, it takes some practice to do the treatment right.

9. Hang in there

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

Encouraging the victim everything is going to be okay is a huge part of making it through this horrible event. It’s not a fun situation to be in. Little words of encouragement go a long way, but avoid asking for personal items or an ex-girlfriend’s phone number “just in case they don’t make it.”

10. Pass the word

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

The paramedics showed up! Great. Now can you tell them what life-saving interventions you performed. Please include:

  1. Where the injuries are located
  2. If you put on a tourniquet, how long ago did you put it on?
  3. Their Zodiac sign
  4. How long ago the shooting occurred
  5. And the most importantly, if you want to go to the hospital with them, ask for a ride – Übers and Taxis can be expensive.
MIGHTY CULTURE

How Joker fighting the evil within resonates with veterans

Most people don’t think about evil. The force of evil is certainly out there, but it’s on a different street, a different city or across the ocean. Evil is something we see as a plot in Hollywood, in movies like Joker. It isn’t something most people give much thought to.

But for veterans, it’s different.


I sat at a table with a veteran friend of mine, sipping coffee in a local cafe. He looked around as we talked about where we’d been and things we’d done. “They’ll never know,” he said. “I mean, how could they?” Our fellow patrons were having conversations a million miles away from ours, talking about things like kids, yoga and groceries, not darkness or things that haunt us. “I suppose it’s better that way,” he added.

Maybe it is, I thought, but maybe not.

The recent depiction of The Joker has become the highest grossing R-rated release in box office history. Joaquin Phoenix’s performance is now an Oscar front-runner for his personal dive into villainy. For a society that doesn’t understand or talk about evil, The Joker has clearly found an audience. Phoenix’s rendition of Arthur is not the villainous story you might guess though, instead, it’s a man driven by his quest for love and entertainment; he hardly seems like a villain.

Phoenix said he prepared for this role by identifying with “his struggle to find happiness and to feel connected. To have warmth and love.” It’s an interesting juxtaposition: how does one end up being evil if all they want is love? This is the question and the genius of Joker. The same question haunts many veterans today. What is the difference between the pursuit of love and evildoing? Seems obvious, right? Maybe not, if evil never seems to be the aim. Yet, somehow people end up there – doing things that destroy the world around them. Even Hitler, a real life villain, once said, “I can fight only for something that I love.”

People want to believe that evil is something they can spot, as if it wears an enemy’s uniform and is clearly recognizable as “the bad guy.” The reality is, evil isn’t just lurking in a dark alley, waiting to sneak up on you when you least expect it. For some veterans, evil isn’t only external, although it certainly may have started that way. Evil isn’t something in a far-off land for us. It’s something we’ve carried home and something with which we have to deal. Carl Jung once said, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method of dealing with the darkness of other people.” What most veterans don’t know, but soon find out, is that facing evil out there means facing it inside of ourselves, too.

I have witnessed this realization many times in veterans, sitting next to them as they struggle with how the world could be this way. How could it be? Where is the good? As a chaplain and a social worker, I have seen, even been part of, people losing their hold on a world that they can picture themselves living in. The feelings of helplessness and sadness are overwhelming when facing a world with all its deficiencies.

It can be horrifying to think that we have something in common, even sharing the air, with the Jokers of the world. The genius of Phoenix’s performance is that most of us can see parts of ourselves in his character. This is what makes coming back from war so difficult; there is no shutting your eyes. Facing the realities of evil post-war is harder in a society that also wants nothing to do with it.

Service in the military shocked my own naiveté, forcing me to grasp with my own encounters with evil around me, even in me. War, more than any other environment, is the great tester. It reveals all of the little cracks and strengths. It is the great kiln of life. Perhaps facing these demons is a reason for the stubborn rising suicide rate and extreme isolation we see in veterans post-war. It also explains why veterans so often take roles in protecting people from it — serving in law enforcement and security.

For those who haven’t served, who has not felt the pain of betrayal, neglect or helplessness at an abuse of power? Allowing ourselves to experience the abyss of evil is “fearless”, as one critic said of Phoenix’s performance. Who has not found themselves filled with thoughts of revenge? Perhaps a better question then is: Why aren’t all of us Jokers? Why don’t we all go mad? Maybe we are. Maybe there’s a little villain in all of us.

Not all veterans can face their demons. Not facing the villain, outside and in, leads to a space you can’t share, a place where you join the Jokers of the world. This would explain why some veterans think of suicide as an honorable thing, saving the world from the Joker they have become. Some just drive faster, drink more, turn up the music and close their eyes when these evils start to appear.

There is good reason to avoid looking – we might not be prepared to fight the evil we see. Heath Ledger’s plunge into the character of evil may have led him to places that he could not find his way out from. Encountering true evil and the thin veil that separates us leads most to question our own capacity to overcome it.

Evil hides in omission — our lack of doing as much as our acts of doing. Stopping evil does not mean that we weaken or blind ourselves. Instead, as many veterans do, they choose to see the enemy, even if it’s within, rather than hide. The confrontation is fraught; not just with evil’s existence but in the failure to do good when they can. Veterans who find their way back home learn this. Veterans like Chase Millsap who saw local nationals murdered after working with U.S. soldiers and created a way for them to be safe with nooneleft.org. Veterans like Noel Lipana, who couldn’t make sense of his actions and has found a way to tell his story and shape others through an art performance piece. They could not omit. They decided that the way back is to do good. To exert agency over their helplessness in the face of evil. Is this not the only way? To do good, in the face of evil.

The last decade has brought new thinking on this as well, rethinking post-traumatic stress disorder toward a term called Moral Injury because it tracks better to veterans’ experience of war — that evil, sometimes our own, shocks our worldview. To see evil and the ugliness of humankind can shake you to your core and leave you with lingering questions. An abbreviated definition of Moral Injury refers to the lasting impacts of actions that violate a service member’s core moral values and expectations of self or others. Perhaps another definition is that Moral Injury is the impact of coming face to face with evil, even if it’s our own. Facing evil in the world can leave you with more questions than answers. Fortunately, these questions aren’t new, they just aren’t often talked about. Maybe that’s why evil and veil are just letters rearranged differently; both are thinly seen.

The story of the Joker is the story that veterans know all too well. Today’s society leaves most willfully blind to the struggles and evils in the world, leaving many veterans grasping for answers to questions that their neighbors are not asking. At first glance, it does seem easier to omit them, but closing our eyes to them will not save us. Perhaps the reason the Joker has garnered so much international attention is because it’s telling a story we all know, but don’t like to look at. A story that needs to be told.

We don’t say things we should. We don’t look at injustice if we can avoid it. We avoid confrontation when possible. We choose to close our eyes, rather than see.

The Joker invites all of us, not just veterans, to manage our own shadows by doing the good we know to do. Veterans don’t have the market cornered on this, most just signed up for it and are learning how to live with the evil around us.

Articles

You need to hear this fighter pilot’s powerful story about finding purpose

Ed Woodward had the harrowing experience of watching his identical twin brother die before his very eyes.


“We had just finished celebrating his first year of med school,” said Woodward in the video below. “And we were hit by a drunk driver going about 120 mph racing another car down the highway.”

As his sibling succumbed to his injuries, Woodward promised he’d live his life for both of them. In 2001, he launched his Air Force career as a 2nd lieutenant. He flew combat missions in support of Operation Northern Watch, Operation Noble Eagle, Operation Enduring Freedom, and Operation Iraqi Freedom.

His performance earned him an Air Medal, two Aerial Achievement Medals, two Air Force Commendation Medals and a nomination for the Air Mobility Command’s best tanker aircrew of the year in 2002. After getting his pilot wings, he was selected to fly the F-15C Eagle; it was a dream come true, Woodward said.

But with only five flights to go in his training tragedy struck again. He developed a blood clot during a heavy G force maneuver that almost killed him. It caused a brain injury ending his pilot aspirations and resulting in a medical discharge from the Air Force.

“I was lost,” Woodward said.

Watch Woodward tell his incredible story about how his commitment to his brother helped him find his purpose in life by going from fighter pilot to M.D. candidate:

GotYourSix, YouTube

Don’t miss your opportunity to listen to more incredible stories like Woodward’s. This year, Got Your 6 Storytellers will be held in three cities across the country:

  • New York – Wednesday, October 26, 2016
  • Los Angeles – Tuesday, November 1, 2016
  • Washington D.C. – Thursday, November 10, 2016

Visit Got Your 6 Storytellers for additional information.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Vietnam just banned ‘Abominable’ movie because of a map

Vietnam outlawed Dreamworks’ new animation “Abominable” on Oct. 14, 2019, because it showed a map acknowledging China’s claim to a disputed part of the South China Sea.

Multiple countries — including China, Vietnam, Malaysia, and the Philippines — have overlapping claims to the sea. Beijing claims a large portion of it as its own, and calls the U-shaped region demarcating it as the “nine-dash line.”

Dispute over waters near Vietnam flared in October 2019 after Vietnam claimed a Chinese ship rammed and sank a fishing vessel.


A still from “Abominable” circulating widely on Twitter on Oct. 13, 2019, showed a map clearly showing a variant of the dashed line in the South China Sea.

“We will revoke [the film’s license],” Ta Quang Dong, Vietnam’s deputy minister of culture, sports and tourism, told the country’s Thanh Nien newspaper on Sunday, Reuters reported.

The decision was directly a response to the map scene, Reuters added, citing an employee at Vietnam’s National Cinema Center.

The movie, directed by “Monsters, Inc.” writer Jill Culton, follows a young Chinese girl who wakes up to find a Yeti on her roof, and and is led on to a journey to the Himalaya mountains to find his family.

The Vietnamese-language edition of the movie — titled “Everest: The Little Yeti” — premiered in the country on Oct. 4, 2019, Reuters reported. It appeared to play for nine days before the culture ministry banned the movie.

Sen. Tom Cottons of Arkansas criticized the ban on Oct. 15, 2019, saying in a tweet that Dreamworks’ display of the nine-dash line was an example of “kowtowing to the Chinese Communist Party by American liberal elites.”

Oct. 9, 2019, broadcasters at ESPN used a map of China which incorporated Taiwan and the “nine-dash line” as part of its territory, sparking fresh criticism among Beijing’s critics.

Country sovereignty is a sensitive topic in China too: Multiple Western designer brands have also landed in hot water in China for identifying the semi-autonomous cities of Hong Kong and Macau as countries, rather than Chinese regions.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

Articles

This is how the one-man ‘Zvika Force’ stopped an entire tank corps

The Israel Defense Forces were caught completely off guard in 1973 when Egypt and Syria launched a coordinated attack to take back the land lost in the 1967 Six-Day War. All would have gone according to plan for the Arab states – if only one young lieutenant hadn’t gone home on leave.


Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

Zvika Greengold was an Israeli farmer raised on a kibbutz founded by Holocaust survivors and partisans who fought against Nazi occupation in Europe. Like most Israelis, he joined the IDF when it came time to serve his country.

He was 21 and home on leave in 1973 when Syrian tanks rolled across the border in a coordinated attack with Egypt, sparking the Yom Kippur War. The young lieutenant saw plumes of smoke in the distance and fighter planes in the sky. He knew a war had begun but was not yet attached to a unit, so he had nowhere to report for combat duty.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Israeli Centurions operating in the Golan Heights in 1973.

Being without a unit wasn’t going to stop this officer from getting into the war. He hitchhiked 78 miles to Nafah Base, the command center for the Golan Heights. Greengold helped with the wounded coming in, but the only offensive weapons available were two damaged Centurion tanks.

And those turned out to be his ticket to defending Israel.

Greengold contacted his command, telling them he had a force ready to fight (which was technically true). He helped repair the two tanks, assembled a skeleton crew, and they drove off into the night toward the Syrian front. His newly-assembled “Zvika Force” soon spotted Syrian tanks advancing unopposed toward the Nafah Base. Heavily outnumbered, he engaged the enemy’s Russian-built T-55s, destroying six of them.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Syrian troops abandoned their T-62 tanks in the middle of the fighting, convinced Zvika Greengold’s tank corps outnumbered and outflanked the Arabs. (IDF photo)

His tank heavily damaged in the fight, Greengold hopped into the other Centurion. Along the same road, he saw the advancing Syrian 452d Tank Battalion. Using darkness for cover, he sped along the column’s flank, dodging enemy shells while fooling the Syrians into believing there was more than one tank out opposing them. He hit the first Syrian tank from only 20 meters away.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Los Angeles city buses are longer than that. No joke.

He notched off ten more enemy tanks before the Syrians withdrew. Even Greengold’s own command had no idea how many men and tanks made up the Zvika Force. Greengold couldn’t report his true strength over the radio for fear of being found out, so he only reported that “the situation isn’t good.” His brigade commander thought he was at least company strength.

For the next 20 hours Lt. Greengold fought, sometimes alone, in skirmishes all across the front lines. When he joined Lt. Col. Uzi Mor’s ten tanks, his luck took a turn for the worse.

Mor lost most of his tanks and was wounded. Greengold lost his tank and his uniform caught fire. He had to switch tanks a half dozen times. That’s when the Syrians sent a sizable force of T-62 tanks to force the Israelis back. Greengold joined 13 other tanks to engage the Syrian armored column of 100 tanks and 40 armored personnel carriers. He managed to hold them until he heard that Nafah Base was under attack.

When the command post came under attack, he joined the defense, moving his tank to critical spots at decisive moments, even in the face of overwhelming odds. During the defense of the base, one Israeli tank commander radioed his HQ that “there’s no one in the camp except a single tank fighting like mad along the fences.”

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
(IDF photo)

The Jerusalem Post reported “During a lull [in the battle] Zvika Greengold painfully lowered himself from his tank, covered with burns, wounds and soot.  ‘I can’t go on anymore,’ he said to the staff office who had sent him into battle 30 hours before. The officer embraced him and found a vehicle to carry Greengold to the hospital.”

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Zvika Greengold (left) and Lt. Col. Aryeh Berger, commander of the 74th Armored Battalion, pose at the Armored Corps Memorial at Latrun in 2015. (IDF photo)

He passed out from exhaustion, physically unable to continue fighting. Nafah Base was never captured and the actions Zvika Greengold and the other IDF troops in the Golan Heights gave the IDF enough time to react to the two front invasion and send substantial reinforcements. They pushed the Syrians back to where the border is today.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
The Zvika Force held off the Syrians long enough for Israeli reinforcements to arrive and stem the Syrian advance. Greengold’s effort may have won the Yom Kippur War for Israel in the east. IDF force here are on their way to the Golan Heights in 1973.

Greengold estimates taking out at least 20 tanks, while others credit him with 40 or more. He was awarded the Medal of Valor, Israel’s highest award for heroism.

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Aug. 12

You all really need to start securing your funny military memes. I found these 13 just lying around. But hey, memes adrift are a gift, right?


1. “We outrank exactly one thing.”

(via Sh*t my LPO says)

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

2. When the Thunderbolts get together:

(via Military Memes)

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

SEE ALSO: This flight student’s first attempt to land on an aircraft carrier ended in disaster

3. Once you’ve been bit by the blue falcon, you’ll change into one whenever the sun is out (via The Salty Soldier).

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Or when the moon is out. Or the stars. Or the clouds. Or clear skies with no illumination.

4. Haven’t spotted a single f*ck this cruise, to be honest (via Sh*t my LPO says).

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
There’s a rumor that supply had some but they fell over the side.

5. All these Coasties standing around and you expect them to use a vehicle?

(via Coast Guard Memes)

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
The Coast Guard pays for chow out of the fuel budget. Earn it.

6. “Thanks sir, this really means a lot …”

(via Air Force Memes Humor)

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

7. The trick is to get your rest and relaxation while you’re on duty:

(via The Salty Soldier)

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
He’s probably thinking about how that’s a really old vest design to be wearing with multicams.

8. Having a good day, having a good day, havin—Oh crap!

(via Funker530)

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

9. That moment you really wish your NCO had a good marriage:

(via Marine Corps Memes)

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

10. Come on, sir. You’re making the Army look bad (via Pop Smoke).

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Notice that the Marine on the left is straight-up supervising a boot cleaning.

11. If your uniform change felt random, it probably was (via Military Memes).

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
But seriously, what does the Navy need camouflage for? It’s the giant gray boat that gives you away.

12. When the aid station can’t even WebMD right:

(via Coast Guard Memes)

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

13. If you didn’t get picked up last week:

(via Sh*t my LPO says)

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Sorry about that.

Articles

A US defense contractor developed a drone that can fire a rifle

A US defense contractor has developed a consumer-sized sniper drone which it says could save the lives of soldiers and civilians on the battlefield, but some are voicing concerns, Popular Mechanics reported.


Duke Robotics, a Florida-based defense contractor, developed the TIKAD sniper drone, and recently sold some to the Israeli military.

They’re also pitching it to the Pentagon.

The drone is capable of being fitted with a sniper rifle, grenade launcher, a machine gun, or a variety of other weapons, Defense One and Popular Mechanics reported.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Photo from Duke Robotics

It was used successfully by the Israelis but it only stayed airborne for about five minutes due to weight problems, Defense One reported. The TIKAD drone, however, has overcome previous weight and recoil issues.

The co-founder of Duke Robotics, Israeli military veteran Lt. Col. Raziel “Razi” Atuar, said the drone — which is flown and shot by an operator at a distance — will save civilian and soldier lives because it is more precise, as opposed to Reaper, Predator or Switchblade drones that fire missiles.

“You have small groups [of adversaries] working within crowded civilian areas using civilians as shields. But you have to go in. Even to just get a couple of guys with a mortar, you have to send in a battalion and you lose guys. People get hurt. The operational challenge, it bothered us,” Atuar told Defense One.

(Duke Robotics Inc | YouTube)

“Big military drones traditionally have to fly thousands of feet overhead to get to targets, but these smaller drones could easily fly down the street to apply violent force,” University of Sheffield Professor Noel Sharkey told the BBC.

“This is my biggest worry since there have been many legal cases of human-rights violations using the large fixed-wing drones, and these could potentially result in many more,” Sharkey said.

Mary Wareham, of Human Rights Watch, also voiced similar concerns.

 

Sharkey also told the BBC that he worries about the TIKAD drone, which private citizens can purchase from Duke Robotics, being copied by terrorist groups like ISIS.

“It won’t be long before everyone has copies,” Sharkey told Popular Mechanics. “Some of these will be a lot less stable and less precise. We have already seen ISIS employ small commercial drones for strikes with explosives.”

ISIS has been known to use drones for surveillance, guidance and even for dropping bombs.

Humor

6 signs that you might be a veteran

Every well-worn U.S. veteran has certain and unique characteristics. Some of them are unsavory reminders of services rendered, while others are just plain peculiar.


The life of a veteran is varied and uncommon to the layman and so are many of the conditions that follow.

So, you might be a veteran if:

Related: 7 reasons the Air Force hates on the Army

6. Your joints are freakin’ shot!

When you joined the military, you were a superb physical specimen able to run, jump, and generally be amazing without any real issue or ailment. Fast-forward to ETS. You are now a decorated veteran complete with tons of experiences and stories that can’t be bought.

Also, you’re fully equipped with a soundtrack of destroyed cartilage and worn joints to accompany the constant, but slight pain running through your knees, ankles, shoulders, and back… You’re welcome.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
When getting old gets real.  (20th Century Fox)

5. You’ve got an ex-spouse… or two

American divorce is a regular occurrence. About half of every couple that says, “I do” will ultimately say, “f*ck you, I’m out!” That’s just America. Now, take a couple of red-blooded Americans and throw them into the military environment.

The tempo alone makes marriage more challenging — and that doesn’t even account for the personal changes that both parties go through as they transverse their military careers and life.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Actual footage of a man trying to understand a woman.

4. You get dressed on a double-time

Being able to go from sleeping to full battle rattle in quick fashion is a skill that many veterans are forced to develop. As we transition, this ability becomes useful for other reasons: We can get fully dressed and out the door in a few minutes, with the right motivation.

This is first developed in basic training and honed over a few years of duty.

It becomes perfect when, inevitably, we find ourselves waking up 20-minutes before needing to be somewhere that’s a 17-minute drive away. It is but one of the many superpowers we leave service with.

Right after a veteran gets the text, “I’m on the way.” (Image via GIPHY)

3. You know the many uses of “vitamin M”

Vitamin M (or Motrin) is the catchall medicine for active duty members. Have a headache? Have some Vitamin M. Twisted ankle? Take two. Swollen knees? Take a few. Broken leg? Take an 800mg and remember R.I.C.E.

Veterans take these bad boys like freakin’ tic-tacs and keep pushing onward. Put on your big boy pants, the mission must go on.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

Also Read: 5 ways to skate in Marine Corps boot camp

2. You hate most military movies/TV Shows

This isn’t because you hate the military. Oh, quite the contrary; you love the military and are extremely proud of your service.

What you do hate: All the fallacies in so much of this programming. Nothing on TV disturbs me more than seeing some actor wearing a service uniform looking like a bag of soggy bread.

Any servicemember that made it through Basic/Boot can spot these misplaced nametapes, incorrect ribbons, jacked up covers, etc. It’s an easy fix, though: Hire a vet!

That face you make when Pearl Harbor plays on TV.  (Image via GIPHY)

1. Being late is f*cking terrifying

We all know the saying, “if you’re on time, you’re late!” This mantra is driven into us throughout our service, so much so that even now, years after separating from service, I still feel like there’s a sergeant waiting to chew my ass if I’m late.

Extenuating circumstances notwithstanding, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a veteran who is willingly late to anything.

In the event that we are late, or even just running late, it nags and eats at us internally — sometimes causing a headache, which we treat with Vitamin M.

Veteran showing up at 1401 for a 1400 appointment. (Image via GIPHY)
Humor

6 of the worst times to salute officers

Saluting is a powerful, non-verbal communication that shows proper respect to a military officer. Although there’s no real written record of how or where the tradition began, precursors to the salute date far back in history when warriors would raise their right hand (traditionally the weapon hand) as a signal of friendship.


The practice of saluting has gone fairly unchanged throughout history. The subordinate hand-gestures first when in the presence of a superior who, in turn, responds accordingly — lower-ranking personnel salute higher-ranking service members first.

Recruits learn how to hand salute in boot camp and demonstrate it hundreds of times before heading out to active duty. The gesture becomes instant as muscle memory takes over.

Although the gesture is meant to pay respect, there are times when an officer doesn’t want to see that salute — and here are just a few.

Related: 5 things enlisted troops love but officers hate

1. Before Monday-morning, boots-and-utes PT when they’re still hungover from the weekend.

Officers like to drink, too.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
“Major? This is the general. Send over that boot lieutenant, will you? I’m too hungover for this ‘boots and utes’ run.”

2. When they’re trying to have a legit conversation and it keeps getting interrupted by incoming and outgoing hand salutes.

Officers have a unit to run and that requires them to chat it up. Their concentration doesn’t need to be broken every time a boot walks through the area.

3. When there are a few dozen enlisted troops headed their way and they must return the salute over, and over, and over again.

The struggle is real, folks.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

4. When an officer is in a rush to go home.

Just like any enlisted troop out there, officers want their liberty time, too.

Also Read: 6 things officers love but enlisted troops can’t stand

5. In a war zone.

You might as well put a bullseye on the officer’s forehead. It’s just not a good idea — don’t do it.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Joker meets Mr. Touchdown, a Marine officer, and salutes him in Vietnam. It’s not a good idea. (Screenshot from Warner Brother’s Full Metal Jacket)

6. When they’re just sore as f*ck from arm day at the gym.

Officers have to keep up physically with all those motivated enlistees. Hitting the gym on the regular helps them compete.

Articles

20 stupid questions about the Coast Guard


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It’s common for the four major military branches — the Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force, and Army — to work together, but seldom do we share missions with the Coast Guard.

But it wasn’t always this way. While the Coast Guard falls under the Department of Homeland Security, there have been instances when it fell under the Department of Defense. In actuality, the U.S. Coast Guard gets passed around a lot. In addition to the DoD, it has also fallen under the Department of Treasury, the Department of Transportation, and the Department of the Interior.

Related: 7 things you probably didn’t know about the US Coast Guard

So, it isn’t hard to imagine why some service members get confused when it comes to the Coast Guard. For this episode of the Mandatory Fun podcast, we invited fellow coastie and We Are The Mighty contributor Mary-Elizabeth Pratt to answer questions about the Coast Guard we’ve always wanted answers to but were too afraid to ask for fear of looking stupid.

Hosted by:

Guest:

  • Mary-Elizabeth Pratt: Coast Guard service member and historian

    Mary-Elizabeth Pratt is a DC-based freelance writer and non-profit employee. She combines her degrees in English and Military History with her experience as a Coast Guard Maritime Enforcement Specialist to teach others about the importance of the military’s smallest branch. Currently working with the Fisher House Foundation in operations, Mary-Elizabeth has spent time with the U.S. Air Force, U.S. Coast Guard, and several small museums as a civilian.

    More articles about the Coast Guard by Mary-Elizabeth Pratt

Selected links and show notes from the episode:

Related: 13 thoughts I had during Coast Guard boot camp graduation

  • [05:03] What was it like to work on a major movie about the U.S. Coast Guard?
  • [06:25] Which movie do coasties embrace the most, The Finest Hours or The Guardian?
  • [08:45] Why did you want to write the hater’s guide to the Coast Guard?
  • [09:55] Why do people picture the TSA instead of the Coast Guard whenever the Department of Homeland Security is mentioned?
  • [11:00] Are coasties subject to the UCMJ or something else?

Related: The 5 military laws that nearly everyone breaks

  • [12:45] Do all the coasties go on drug busts?
  • [14:55] What’s the quickest way to get a rise out of a coastie?
  • [16:00] Why is Sinbad the dog so beloved by Coast Guard?
  • [17:38] Why should anyone hate the Coast Guard?
  • [19:50] What does maritime law enforcement consist of?
  • [20:00] What’s a B.U.I., is that like driving under the influence (D.U.I.)?
  • [20:23] What are some of the worst and best Coast Guard duty stations?
  • [23:00] What do coasties hate being called more: puddle pirates or shallow water sailors?
  • [23:55] Is it harder to get into the Coast Guard than it is to the main military service branches?
  • [24:50] Why should we love the Coast Guard?
  • [26:00] What are the differences and similarities between the Navy and the Coast Guard?
  • [28:45] What’s it like to be around members of the other service branches?
  • [32:00] What are some popular coastie hangout spots?
  • [33:05] What’s a Coast Guard deployment like?

Music licensing by Jingle Punks:

  • Goal Line
  • Heavy Drivers
Articles

Marine killed in Iraq ‘made sure everybody got in the bunker’

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
The remains of Marine Corps Staff Sgt. Louis F. Cardin of Temecula, Calif., arrive at Dover Air Force Base, Del., on March 21. | U.S. Air Force photo by Zachary Cacicia


The commandant of the Marine Corps paid tribute to a staff sergeant killed by Islamic State rocket fire in Iraq last week, shedding new light on the circumstances surrounding the loss.

Staff Sgt. Louis Cardin, 27, a member of Battalion Landing Team 2/6, 26th Marine Expeditionary Unit, was killed by indirect fire March 19 at a new artillery outpost near Makhmour, Iraq, shortly after he and a small element of Marines had detached from the MEU in order to support the small post.

Speaking at a Marine Corps Association awards dinner near Washington, D.C. Thursday night, Gen. Robert Neller said three other Marines wounded in that same rocket attack were due to arrive back in the United States that evening, headed for Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Md.

Reflecting on Cardin’s loss, Neller did not prevaricate about a fight that US officials still refuse to describe as a combat operation.

“The loss of a Marine is sad, but I thought about it: He was leading his Marines in combat,” Neller said. “They were in indirect fire and he made sure everybody got in the bunker, and he just didn’t make it in time. Is that sad? That’s sad. But if you’re going to go, you want to go in the fight.”

During a briefing to reporters at the Pentagon on Friday, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Joseph Dunford said the circumstances of Cardin’s death, the second combat death since the coalition fight against Islamic State militants began, does not change the nature of the operation or indicate an increase in the Marines’ ground combat role.

“This is not a fundamental shift in our approach to support the Iraqi forces,” he said. “This happens to be what was the most appropriate tool that the commander assessed needed to be in that particular location.”

In his talk, Neller encouraged Marines to remain sharp, reminding them that the Corps was forward deployed all over the world to remain ready and train for future fights.

“[Cardin’s] death, and the things we see every day, from the attacks in Brussels by those murderous cowards that we’re fighting, that’s part of our world today,” he said. “So whether [The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant] continues to use terror to intimidate us and kill innocents, at the same time other adversaries, as they have since we’ve been engaged in the Middle East, are developing their capabilities to challenge us on future battlefields.”

Neller also fired a shot across the bow at another geopolitical threat, hinting that Marine Corps leaders were eager to answer the saber-rattling of Russian president Vladimir Putin with a show of force.

About 1,800 Marines, he said, had recently wrapped up a massive cold-weather exercise in Norway, Operation Cold Response.

“It’s the biggest exercise we’ve done in Norway in some time,” he said. We were working to repopulate our [pre-positioning equipment] in the caves, and the Norwegians were happy to see us and I’m sure our Russian friends were paying attention. Mr. Putin has done us a great favor.”

Articles

10 tips for dating on a forward operating base

Sure, it was against the rules for years but we all know dating, and more, happened regularly on the forward operating bases. Here are some tips for your next deployment.


1. Don’t talk about dating on the FOB

Remember, dating deployed is still highly discouraged and can affect perceptions of your professionalism. Keep a tight lid on it or expect your next evaluation report or monthly counseling to be harsh.

2. Conduct hygiene like you’re in garrison.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Photo by US Army Sgt. 1st Class Tyrone C. Marshall Jr.

Yeah, the long hours of work and the limited laundry and shower facilities are going to take a toll, but you owe the person who is letting you see them naked. At least invest in extra baby wipes or something.

3. Do some favors for the motor pool.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Photo by US Army Staff Sgt. Keith Anderson

Make out sessions, and more, in vehicles are just as much fun deployed as they were in high school. Help the mechanics out and they’ll help you out.

4. Don’t date outside your pay scale.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Photo by US Army Spc. Kim Browne

This is still illegal and a potential career ender. Officers with officers, enlisted with enlisted.

5. No partners from your company or your chain of command.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Photo by US Army Sgt. Joseph Morris

The chain of command thing is still illegal while dating within your company is just a bad idea. Try to find a partner in another battalion or a completely separate command.

6. Don’t make it obvious.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Photo by US Army

Googly eyes, shy smiles, shared meals, inside jokes. Secrets are hard enough to keep on a FOB without you dropping hints everywhere.

7. Practice weapons safety.

Literally and figuratively. If you get romantic, keep your literal weapon away from the bump zone and keep your figurative weapon in a case. Practice muzzle awareness with both.

8. Keep the drama discreet.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch
Photo by USMC Staff Sgt. J.L. Wright Jr.

Fighting between yourselves will most likely be noticed, probably even faster than the googly eyes when you started dating were. Keep it limited to emails and texts. If you can stand at attention while getting reamed by the drill instructor, you can keep a poker face while having an email fight.

9. Don’t let it affect the mission.

This is why it was outlawed in the first place. Don’t miss a recall or show up late to duty because you were busy in a CONNEX container.

10. Be careful who you tell stories to.

Why a zombie apocalypse will never happen on America’s watch

While you may want to brag about your forbidden love, one of those stories may get you in trouble if word gets around. Make sure you only tell buddies who can keep a secret.