7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn't like - We Are The Mighty
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7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like

The Commandant of the Marine Corps, Gen. Robert B. Neller, gave an interview recently where he critiqued Marines for getting into “general jackassery.” And while we strongly agree with most of Neller’s comments (don’t get drunk and commit crimes, don’t get drunk and get yourself kicked out, don’t get drunk and hurt yourself) we do hope that Marines keep getting into some general jackassery.


Because that’s how we get videos and photos like these, and these things are hilarious. (Just a heads up, most of these videos include some foul language.)

1. Marines creating spoof music videos

Come on, sir. This video is funny, family friendly, and no one got hurt. Assuming production didn’t affect operations, what’s the harm?

2. Marines racing in their sleeping bags

Alright, we get where you’re coming from with this one. Sure, it’s funny, but if those falls had gone a little differently the “Two Marines can’t train because of injury” would be a pretty expensive way to get some lulz. But we would still lulz, sir. We would still lulz hard.

3. Marines clearing their own barracks with brooms and mops

Come on, this is basically training.

4. Marines creating hilarious sketch videos

If it doesn’t affect operations but makes everyone laugh so hard they forget the green weenie in their butts, then it’s a net gain for the Corps. (Anyone who doesn’t know about Terminal Boots should follow them). This video even includes some good lessons for junior leaders like, “Never be the worst Marine in your grade.”

5. Marines dancing to what are likely video game instructions

Sure, they look ridiculous. But there’s no harm in that.

6. Marines trying to dance sexily in weird costumes

We hope no one actually finds this sexy, but it’s not exactly harmful or risky. (Also, that Marine in the back quietly getting ready to go somewhere like two dudes aren’t dancing in panda masks is our new hero).

7. Seriously, what is it with Marines, weird costumes, and “sexy” dancing?

Seriously, sir, you may want to train your men on what the word “sexy” means. Also, if either dude tried to dance on the bannister, we would be back to the injury problem.

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‘Not just a box’ — 9 unclaimed veterans to be laid to rest

Nine unclaimed veterans and two spouses will be laid to rest Friday in Iowa, thanks to the tireless efforts of a woman who treats every urn as if it contains the remains of her own family. 

Funeral director Lanae Strovers has been working on the upcoming ceremony for more than two years, but her passion and reputation for honoring veterans goes back much further in her career at Hamilton’s Funeral Home

Having been put on bed rest for three months because of surgery, Strovers was looking for a way to keep busy when she discovered Hamilton’s had about 300 urns sitting in storage. She made it her mission to follow up with families to see whether they could claim the urns or still needed them stored.

After the arduous process of tracking down relatives or guardians for all the urns, Strover said the funeral home ended up with the remains of three unclaimed veterans and organized a service for them.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Law enforcement in attendance at the 2018 ceremony for unclaimed veterans at the Iowa Veterans Cemetery. Photo courtesy of Hamilton’s Funeral Home.

“Since then, people are aware that Hamilton’s makes sure veterans get buried whether they have family or not,” Strovers said. “Local law enforcement has turned in urns, and storage unit owners have turned some in to us, which is an amazing thing because they know that we will hold the ceremony when it’s necessary.”

Strovers was adopted as a child and only recently learned anything about her biological family. Her background made her look at unclaimed remains differently.

“I felt that every person was a possible brother, dad, grandfather, uncle, or family member to me,” she said. “It’s not just a box with cremated remains in it. It’s someone’s family member. For whatever reason, they got separated — that’s not our place to judge those stories at all, but to be respectful that it’s someone’s loved one.”

One of the veterans to be honored Friday is Robert Glen Baumgardner, who served in the Army during the Korean War. He died in 2000. Burglars stole his urn from his sister’s house in 2020 after she died. Police later discovered it in the middle of an intersection and took it to the funeral home.

World War II Army veteran Calvin Dean Sours died in May 2012 at age 93. His urn was later found in the office of an administrator who had failed to bury him.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Funeral director Lanae Strovers, left, watches as Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds receives a flag on behalf of an unclaimed veteran at the Iowa Veterans Cemetery in 2018. Photo courtesy of Hamilton’s Funeral Home.

Knowing that a person’s remains could be forgotten on a shelf doesn’t sit right with Strovers. While the ultimate goal is reuniting remains with the person’s family, giving the person a proper send-off is the next best option.

Friday’s ceremony – the third Strovers has organized – will begin with a 12:30 p.m. service at Hamilton’s in West Des Moines, Iowa. Law enforcement personnel, Patriot Guard Riders, and Iowa combat veterans will lead a procession to the Iowa Veterans Cemetery, where Iowa-based country singer Cody Hicks will perform the national anthem. Military honors will be rendered, and local representatives and notable community members will receive the flags on behalf of each veteran.

Rich Shipley, assistant state captain of the Iowa Patriot Guard Riders and a Marine Corps veteran, said the riders would be there to ensure the veterans would be “laid to rest with as many brothers present as possible.”

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Nine unclaimed veterans and two spouses will be laid to rest Friday, June 18, 2021, at the Iowa Veterans Cemetery. Photos courtesy of Hamilton’s Funeral Home.

“Our nation’s heroes should never be unclaimed, discarded, or interred with no family present,” Shipley wrote in an email to Coffee or Die Magazine.

“It’s really a great community event where tons of people come together to honor these veterans,” Strovers said. She strongly encourages the public to attend, especially families with children.

“To teach those kids respect for people who served our country is huge,” Strovers said. “And just to see so many people coming to pay respects to people they never knew simply because they served our country is a pretty amazing thing.”


This article originally appeared on Coffee or Die. Follow @CoffeeOrDieMag on Twitter.

Feature image: US Army National Guard photo by Staff Sgt. Jennifer D. Atkinson, Texas Military Forces Public Affairs.

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Why airborne units are obsolete

This article originally appeared at The Havok Journal.


I recently read an article that posed an interesting question: Does the Army need airborne? The short answer is no. The long answer is we need the capability; there is a small fraction of operations where an airborne assault might be the only way to go, but we don’t need as much “airborne” as we currently have.

Bear with me. I know there are some seriously butt hurt people right now reading this. The tactic has value — limited, but still some.

The unit as an organized structure that practices the airborne tactic has no value — zero, nada, and zilch. The reason is simply the risk; a new person jumping one time is just as much at risk as a veteran jump master on his 1,000th jump.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
(U.S. Army paratroopers conduct an airborne operation on Oct. 20, 2015. (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Juan F. Jimenez)

The singular benefit of airborne operations is to get troops on the battlefield when there are no other means available and when those same troops might secure the means themselves.

WWII was a perfect example. The night of June 5, 1944, airborne operations began to place large numbers of troops behind German lines to tie up reinforcements trying to reach the Atlantic Wall fortifications and prevent the beach invasion.

Also read: Here are 10 things everyone experiences in jump school

It was known and accepted that those airborne troops were effectively lost and might never be recovered as a unit. We routinely accept injury in airborne operations that would be unacceptable in other training, all for a tactic that has limited utility.

Had the beach landings failed, the airborne teams would have been cut off and without support. At best they could have surrendered; at worst, they would be dead. This was not an assumption. This was a specific and recognized outcome of the invasion.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
U.S. Air Force photo/Alejandro Pena

For all the vaunted legend of the 82nd Airborne and the 101st Airborne, the fact is that the units had little cohesion, fought mostly in small numbers, and took several days to re-form into fighting units. Unity of command was not lost; it was impossible to obtain from the beginning.

I am not denigrating the men of the 82nd and the 101st. I am saying any unit could have accomplished the same tasks without any special training involving parachute operations. The difficulties would have been the same.

Soldiers were intermingled between companies, battalions, brigades, and divisions as the confusion of the battlefield worked its magic. Fortunately Americans took advantage of the confusion and managed to win the day.

In that one demonstration on the field of battle, they proved that Airborne was not “all the way” and that the technique of vertical envelopment of the battlefield has a limited utility best used sparingly and only if you are ready to lose those involved.

Which is why for the next sixty years the activities in wartime were expressly limited. In part, we had other means, but ultimately it became clear that this is a tactic that only serves its use in specific operations or as an act of desperation.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
U.S. Army Airborne School. (Photo: U.S. Army Kristin Molinaro)

The operational characteristics, fully published in FM3-99 Airborne and Air Assault Operations, show the limitations clearly. Even during peacetime, the physical threat to personnel from the jump alone is high.

In fact, regardless of the number of jumps a person has, the risk to life and limb is the same each time they jump. The experience they receive does not affect the process once they exit the aircraft. The senior commanders are just as exposed to risk as the privates.

They are at the mercy of the weather. And that alone can render an entire operation a failure.

With the risk being the same for a jump master with 1000 jumps or the cherry on his first jump, we can say, from a risk management standpoint, we don’t need Army Airborne.

We can still, when the need arises, utilize airborne operations. All risk being equal, there is no difference to the mission to drop an entire unit using a small cadre of experienced personnel while the rest of the personnel just straps on the parachute and falls.

I know it works. This was also proven in WWII by the same units. Many of those men had no training in parachute operations. They were taught to put it on and they got in the plane and jumped into combat.

We don’t need units like the 82nd or battalions like the 1/501st. We need each unit to have a small cadre of jump masters and if the military decides to utilize personnel on an airborne operation, the cadre will ensure everyone is suited up and rigged, and then push them out the door.

There is no reason to have a specialized unit with nifty hats just to practice a tactic that is not really necessary. All they do is fall. They don’t have to open the parachute because the static line does that. While the appropriate parachute landing fall (PLF) might be worthwhile to prevent injury, it is not really worth the effort of a 3 week school just to teach that.

Airborne school teaches the PLF and weeds out those too scared to jump. Other than that, it does not teach you anything particular.

Putting on the parachute does not require training beforehand — the jump master is responsible for making sure you put in on right anyway. Rigging your equipment is not an experience-based skill. Just wrap it up using a pictogram and you are done.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Paratroopers jumping off C-130 Hercules. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Michael J. MacLeod)

We don’t need specialized airborne units. Airborne, as practiced by the 82nd AA, was obsolete at the end of WWII.

The Army just doesn’t want to admit that because it looks good. But none of them want to admit that the casualties, from the jump and from war, would make any airborne operation a risky adventure.

They know it; they just don’t want to talk about it.

In combat, a unit that sustains 15% casualties is still combat capable but only marginally. What gain do we have from a military unit that could receive those losses from entering combat before they face the enemy?

The jump alone could cause that damage, and this does not include the fact that it could be the senior command leadership, key weapons vital to the mission, or any number of critical items lost on the drop.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
U.S. Army photo by Staff Sgt. Javier Orona

Those are the risks not once, but every time a jump occurs. It is not cost effective to maintain a unit that faces those risks every time just for practice. It would be better to only pull out this operation when necessary.

If we are going to accept the potential risk, it is not any more dangerous to accept a leg unit that did an airborne operation as a onetime act of desperation.

Airborne pride is an expensive attitude for a military tactic of desperation. It is time to close the books on that chapter.

We can still use the tactic — but we don’t need to enshrine the idea behind it.

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The Air Force is getting rid of ‘up or out’ for some enlisted jobs

The Air Force is offering high year of tenure extensions to active-duty Airmen in certain shortage Air Force Specialty Codes and grades effective August 1.


High year of tenure, or HYT, refers to the maximum number of years enlisted Airmen in each grade may remain on active duty.

This voluntary extension opportunity focuses on retaining experienced Airmen in shortage specialties such as intelligence, surveillance and reconnaissance, maintenance, nuclear, cyber, and special operations to help improve readiness.

“Squadron commanders may approve extensions for qualified Airmen, which reinforces the Air Force Chief of Staff’s efforts to revitalize squadrons,” said Col. Erik Bovasso, Military Sustainment and Transitions Programs division chief at the Air Force’s Personnel Center. “This purposeful empowerment places the approval authority and responsibility at the right level, with commanders who know their mission and Airmen best.”

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Staff Sgt. Leland Hastings, 919th Special Operations Security Forces Squadron, monitors the Raven-B, a four-by-four foot unmanned aerial system, through a laptop computer at Camp Guernsey, Wyo., Aug. 4. (U.S. Air Force photo/Tech. Sgt. Sam King)

The HYT program allows eligible senior airmen, staff sergeants, technical sergeants, and master sergeants in targeted AFSCs and grades to apply for a high year of tenure extension between 12 and 24 months in order for the Air Force to retain experience and enhance mission effectiveness and readiness.

“Although retention is high in some career fields and FY16 and 17 retention programs were successful, the Air Force needs to ensure experienced Airmen are available to complete the mission as well as train new Airmen,” Bovasso said. “HYT extensions will help improve mission capability in key areas where readiness is currently strained.”

Eligibility for HYT is limited to those AFSCs and grades posted on the matrix on myPers, and is based on the Airman’s control AFSC as listed in the Military Personnel Data System on July 21.

“The Air Force will notify Airmen via email of their eligibility to request an extension,” Bovasso said. “Airmen must have a HYT date of Oct. 1, 2017, through Sept. 30, 2018, to be eligible under this program.”

Airmen with a previous HYT extension approved for a period of less than 24 months may, if otherwise eligible, request an extension under the FY17/18 program. However, the total number of months of HYT extension for their approved AFSC and grade cannot exceed 24 months.

“For example, an Airman approved for a Hardship HYT extension for a period of 12 months, who meets the eligibility criteria, may request an additional extension of up to 12 months under the FY 17/18 program,” Bovasso said.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
USAF photo by Master Sgt. Jeffrey Allen

The window for submitting a HYT extension request via the application on myPers is August 1, 2017, through May 31, 2018. Qualified Airmen should check with the Career Development element at the local Force Support Squadron for details, as specific timelines depend on the Airman’s current HYT date.

Find additional information about eligibility criteria, application process and other specifics on myPers. Select “Active Duty Enlisted” from the dropdown menu and search “HYT.”

For more information about Air Force personnel programs, go to myPers. Individuals who do not have a myPers account can request one by following instructions at http://www.afpc.af.mil/myPers/.

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How the CIA stole a secret Soviet satellite during the Space Race

In 1967, the Space Race was in full swing. The Soviet Union had made a number of historic firsts, but the United States was racing to catch up while making a few firsts of its own. 

President Kennedy had challenged America to put a man on the moon within the decade. Long after his death, the memory of that challenge was fresh in the minds of everyone, especially those in the U.S. government who were working hard to make that happen. These include agencies such as NASA, the U.S. military and, not surprisingly, the Central Intelligence Agency.

But the United States wasn’t always so close to winning. In fact, for a time, it appeared to be behind — way behind. So far behind, in fact, the Americans were willing to do anything to catch up, even if that meant stealing the Soviet technology. 

They had the world’s first ICBM as well as the first artificial satellite

Declassified CIA documents describe their initial efforts to do just that. While they never conclusively stole Soviet space technology outright, they did have to make a huge effort to get some time alone with the tech. 

Many people know about Sputnik, the first man-made satellite in orbit. Not many others know about Luna (sometimes called Lunik), the first man-made satellite to hit the moon’s surface. Both successful missions took place in 1959. And the Soviets did what any superpower looking to dunk on their Cold War rival would do: they took a victory lap. 

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like

The USSR sent Sputnik and Luna on a world tour that included stops in the United States. The U.S. was losing the Space Race because the Soviets had better booster and rocket technology than they did. So the CIA decided it would learn everything it could about Soviet space tech through the traveling showcase.

Specifically, the U.S. wanted a detailed look at the USSR’s upper stage. Most in the CIA assumed the Soviets weren’t bold enough to bring an actual Luna on a world tour for everyone to see, but there were some who realized the USSR really had brought the real thing. One night, after the traveling exhibition was closed, CIA operatives gained access to the room. They discovered it really was an actual Luna module and the lone Soviet guard had disappeared.

The CIA spent a full 24 hours with the Luna, taking what information they could with them, but they wanted more. They wanted to get inside of it. That’s when they concocted a complex, almost absurd scheme that would have been stupid – if it hadn’t worked. 

That’s when they hatched a plan to steal Luna, get into it, and return the device before it could be found. They knew it usually had a large guard force posted as sentries at almost all times. They needed to get to it when the guard force was at its lowest number and find a way to get to it when no one would miss it. 

The operatives discovered that the Luna went unguarded when moving by train. A guard checked its crate in at the platform, but he didn’t know what was in each of the crates and there was no expected delivery time for its arrival at the show’s next stop.

CIA agents arranged for the Luna to be on the last truck out of an exhibition. When it was on the way, other CIA operatives tailed the truck, looking for when the Soviet guards rejoined their precious cargo. But the Soviets never came. The CIA stopped the truck driver and “held him in a hotel overnight” (the documents don’t mention how he was enticed (booze, guns or prostitutes were likely involved).

With the driver safely dispatched, the truck was parked in a salvage yard and covered up. At the rail yard, the lone guard there didn’t even know the last truck was expected and he knocked off for the night, none the wiser. The CIA kept a tail on him too, just to make sure he didn’t come to work early. 

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Hey, not every heist requires a shootout

Back at the truck, CIA officers dismantled and photographed the Luna in detail, working through the night to get everything documented so that the Soviet booster technology could be analyzed.

They sealed everything back together, closed the crate and put the original truck driver back on the job. When the rail yard guard checked the crate onto the train in the morning, he suspected nothing and the secret Soviet space technology was on its way to the next stop.

Feature image: Photo by Sergiu Nista on Unsplash

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Vets can get their aching teeth fixed at this one-day event

Get ready to smile.


On June 24,  Practices will hold Day of Service, offering free dental work to veterans nationwide. Nearly 450 practices across 35 states will participate as part of the Healthy Mouth Movement, Aspen sites in Bluefield and Beckley in West Virginia included.

During the appointments, dentists and their teams will focus on treating the most urgent needs of the veterans by providing fillings, extractions and basic denture repair to help relieve any pain.

This marks the fourth annual event for  and is the largest single-day oral health initiative targeted at veterans. Last year,  dentists and their teams offered services totaling almost $2.1 million dollars, helping over 4,000 veterans receive dental care.

Of 21 million veterans, less than 10 million are enrolled for the U.S Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) health benefits. For many, this includes dental care benefits and more than 1.2 million lack health insurance altogether.

Veterans who are interested in having dental work should call 844-ASPEN-HMM to make an appointment. Beckley  is 304-362-5862. Advanced appointments are required.

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Pirates are back to terrorizing shipping off the Somali coast

Pirates have returned to the waters off Somalia, but the spike in attacks on commercial shipping does not yet constitute a trend, senior U.S. officials said Sunday.


The attacks follow about a five-year respite for the region, where piracy had grown to crisis proportions during the 2010-2012 period, drawing the navies of the United States and other nations into a lengthy campaign against the pirates.

U.S. Defense Secretary Jim Mattis told reporters at a military base in the African nation of Djibouti, near the Gulf of Aden, that even if the piracy problem persists, he would not expect it to require significant involvement by the U.S. military.

At a news conference with Mattis, the commander of U.S. Africa Command said there have been about six pirate attacks on vulnerable commercial ships in the past several weeks.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Cassandra Thompson

“We’re not ready to say there’s a trend there yet,” Marine Gen. Thomas Waldhauser said, adding that he views the spurt of attacks as a response to the effects of drought and famine on the Horn of Africa.

He said he was focused on ensuring that the commercial shipping industry, which tightened security procedures in response to the earlier piracy crisis, has not become complacent.

Navy Capt. Richard A. Rodriguez, chief of staff for a specially designated U.S. military task force based in Djibouti, said piracy “certainly has increased” in recent weeks. But he said countering it is not a mission for his troops, who are focused on counterterrorism in the Horn of Africa and developing the capacities of national armies in Somalia and elsewhere in the region.

Anti-piracy patrolling is among several missions China cited for constructing what it calls a naval logistics center in Djibouti. The base is under construction, and U.S. officials say they don’t see it as a major threat to interfere with American operations at Camp Lemonnier.

Several other countries have a military presence on or near that U.S. site, including France, Italy, Germany and Japan. This reflects Djibouti’s strategic location at the nexus of the Red Sea and the Gulf of Aden.

Mattis made a point of spending several hours in Djibouti during a weeklong trip that has otherwise focused on the Mideast. As a measure of his concern for nurturing relations with the Djiboutian government, he flew four hours from Doha, Qatar, and then flew right back.

At his news conference, Mattis praised Djibouti for having offered U.S. access to Camp Lemonnier shortly after the Sept. 11 attacks.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Lance Cpl. Spencer Cohen, rifleman with 1st platoon, Alpha Company, Battalion Landing Team 1st Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, traverses a path for his team through rocky terrain during a mechanized assault as part of a live fire range in Djibouti, Africa, March 29. (Photo by Sgt. Alex C. Sauceda)

“They have been with us every day and every month and every year since,” he said.

The U.S. rotates a range of forces through Lemonnier and flies drone aircraft from a separate airfield in the former French colony. U.S. special operations commandos are based at Lemonnier for counterterrorism missions in Somalia and elsewhere in the region.

During Mattis’ visit, elements of the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, including V-22 Osprey aircraft and Harrier attack jets were visible on Lemonnier’s airfield.

The U.S. military presence has grown substantially in recent years, as reflected by construction of a new headquarters building, gym, enlisted barracks and other expanded infrastructure.

Djibouti has a highly prized port on the Gulf of Aden. The country is sandwiched between Somalia and Eritrea, and also shares a border with Ethiopia.

Mattis is using the early months as defense secretary to renew or strengthen relations with key defense allies and partners such as Djibouti, whose location makes it a strategic link in the network of overseas U.S. military bases.

Djibouti took on added importance to the U.S. military after 9/11, in part as a means of tracking and intercepting al-Qaida militants fleeing Afghanistan after the U.S. invaded that country in October 2001.

The U.S. has a long-term agreement with Djibouti for hosting American forces; that pact was renewed in 2014.

Over the past week Mattis has met with leaders in Saudi Arabia, Israel, Egypt and Qatar.

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This father-son team invaded Africa and Normandy together

It’s Father’s Day, and while many fathers and sons may spend today together, their activities probably won’t involve fighting a war.


Brig. Gen. Theodore Roosevelt Jr. was the eldest son of President Theodore Roosevelt. He had served, along with his brothers, with distinction in World War I. When World War II began, he rejoined the Army and was appointed the rank of colonel after taking a refresher course in military strategy. He was later promoted to brigadier general and assigned as the 1st Infantry Division Assistant Commander.

His youngest son, Capt. Quentin Roosevelt II, was also in the 1st Inf. Div., serving as an artillery officer.

North Africa Campaign

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Photo: US Army Lt. Longini

The “Big Red One,” as the division was called, landed at Oran, Algeria in early November, 1942. The division fought numerous battles in the back and forth fighting in North Africa. Capt. Roosevelt and Brig. Gen. Roosevelt earned three Silver Stars during the campaign.

The first went to Capt. Roosevelt for his part in the Battle of Kasserine Pass. Field Marshall Erwin Rommel, commanding the Axis Forces, had set his sights on seizing Tunis and reversing his earlier losses. To do so, he attacked through Kasserine Pass, a two-mile gap in the mountains defended by U.S. troops. He was rebuffed on his first attempt, but armored reinforcements helped him force his way through on Feb. 20, 1943.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Photo: US Army

In the defense of the pass, Capt. Roosevelt was an artillery liaison officer attached to an infantry battalion under heavy machine gun and mortar fire. He pushed through the thick of it and established a forward observation post ahead of the battalion. From there, he directed artillery fire on enemy positions until he was shot through the back by Messerschmitt aircraft fire.

Brig. Gen. Roosevelt would earn the next two Silver Stars for the family. His first was earned on March 22 when he, like his son, manned an observation post under enemy fire. German dive bombers, fighter planes, and artillery were all firing on the observation post as part of a German assault when the brigadier general arrived. He rallied the troops and directed friendly artillery assets, stopping the Germans.

The next day, he personally led a reinforced combat team against enemy machine gun positions, moving ahead of each assault wave to show the way and earning another Silver Star, his fourth.

Awards, recovery, and relief of position

Both men received their awards during a dual ceremony in North Africa. Brig. Gen. Roosevelt went on to invade Sicily with the 1st Division while Capt. Roosevelt recovered from his wounds. Unfortunately, Brig. Gen. Roosevelt would soon be relieved of his position by then-Lt. Gen. Omar Bradley due to a perceived lack of discipline in the 1st Infantry Division (page 47-48).

Capt. Roosevelt would recover from his wounds in only a few months and return to service with the Big Red One. Brig. Gen. Roosevelt served as a liaison officer to French forces before being reassigned to the 4th Infantry Division for D-Day.

D-Day

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Photo: Wiki Commons

On D-Day, both men were among the 150,000 who hit the beaches and are thought to be the only father-son pair in the invasion. Capt. Roosevelt landed at Omaha Beach while Brig. Gen. Roosevelt landed at Utah Beach.

At Omaha Beach, Capt. Roosevelt was in some of the thickest fighting of the day. Adverse weather, an ineffective naval and aerial bombardment, and tough terrain combined to make Omaha Beach the toughest nut to crack. Allied Forces took approximately 10,000 casualties at the beach.

Meanwhile at Utah Beach, Brig. Gen. Roosevelt’s efforts were considered key to victory. He landed with the first wave of troops despite the fact that his division commander had denied his initial requests twice, only acquiescing after the brigadier general submitted a written request. Maj. Gen. Barton, 4th Infantry Division Commander, would later comment, “When I bade him goodbye in England, I never expected to see him again alive.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Brig. Gen. Roosevelt had not only survived the initial landings, but he was instrumental in their success. The only general officer to land in the first wave on D-Day, he began by leading the initial waves in assaults against the German positions. As each new wave landed, he would link up with them on the beach, lead them over the seawall, and assist in the wave’s assault. By the time Barton arrived on the beach, Brig. Gen. Roosevelt had a firm grasp of the situation and the destruction of the German positions was under way.

When Gen. Bradley was leaving the military, he was asked what the bravest thing he’d ever seen was and responded with, “Theodore Roosevelt Jr. at Utah Beach.

For his actions at Utah Beach, Brig. Gen. Roosevelt was nominated for advancement to major general, the Medal of Honor, and command of the 90th Infantry Division (p. 49). Unfortunately, he died of a heart attack just hours before Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower called to give him the news. His Medal of Honor was approved and given to his wife.

Capt. Roosevelt would go on to be promoted to major and would survive the war.

NOW:7 crazy facts you didn’t know about the D-Day invasion

OR: The 36 best World War II photos you’ve never seen

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This Ranger-veteran Santa granted a dying child’s final wish

An Army Ranger veteran who plays Santa was called for an emergency visit to a dying child in Tennessee, arriving just in time to present the boy with a present and hold him as he passed away.


Eric Schmitt-Matzen is a 60-year-old engineer and the president of Packing Seals Engineering, according to Fox News. He carefully cultivates Saint Nicholas’s appearance and performs at approximately 80 events throughout each year.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Photo: Facebook/Eric Schmitt-Matzen

A nurse contacted him from a hospital near his home in Tennessee to ask that he rush over and comfort a dying child. According to the BBC, he was given a PAW Patrol toy by the child’s mother.

“She’d bought a toy from [the TV show] ‘PAW Patrol’ and wanted me to give it to him,” he told the Knoxville News Sentinel. “I sized up the situation and told everyone, ‘If you think you’re going to lose it, please leave the room. If I see you crying, I’ll break down and can’t do my job.’ ”

Schmitt-Matzen told the sick boy that he was Santa’s “Number One Elf” and that no matter where the boy went next, that title would get him in. Schmitt-Matzen gave the boy the gift and the child asked, “Santa, can you help me?”

“I wrapped my arms around him,” Schmitt-Matzen said, according to the Independent. “Before I could say anything, he died right there. I let him stay, just kept hugging and holding on to him.”

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Photo: Facebook/Eric Schmitt-Matzen

The Ranger veteran left the hospital in tears that any soldier could easily understand. Rangers Lead The Way.

The first reference to this story that WATM has been able to find comes from Sam Venable at the Knoxville News Sentinel. You can learn more about Eric Schmitt-Matzen and his visits as Santa Claus there.

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Why the pilot of the Enola Gay needed a tire gauge and a tape measure to keep his plane in the air

The B-29 Superfortress was arguably the most advanced bomber to fly in World War II. While two of them, the Enola Gay and Bock’s Car, are the only planes to ever use an atomic bomb in anger, much of a B-29 pilot’s work was not glamorous at all.


It was downright tedious in some ways. So tedious in fact, the pilot of the Enola Gay had a tape measure and a tire-pressure gauge to check the spacing on various components and to make sure the plane’s tires were pumped up.

Yeah, the aircraft commander had to do that grunt work!

 

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Photo by US Army Air Forces Birdsall, Stephen via Wikimedia Commons

The B-29 was a complex aircraft — an inevitable consequence of its advanced technology. In fact, a training film for B-29 pilots focuses less on the airborne part of the flying and more on the ground checks needed and the pre-flight checklist.

Aviation historian Joe Baugher noted that the B-29A that was the mainstay of the World War II bombing campaign against Japan featured four remote-controlled turrets, each with two .50-caliber machine guns. The tail turret had the two .50-caliber machine guns, but also a 20mm cannon.

As raunchy comic Andrew Dice Clay would put it, “There’s a Sunday surprise!”

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Fifi, one of only two flying Boeing B-29 Superfortresses. (Photo by Ilikerio via Wikimedia Commons)

The B-29 could also carry up to 20,000 pounds of bombs, and it had a top speed of 357 miles per hour. The famed Mitsubishi A6M Zero, by comparison, had a top speed of 322 miles per hour. A total of 3,970 B-29s were produced, and each had an 11-man crew.

The training film below about flying the B-29 shows all the work that went into preparing to take off.

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This powerful fighter plane could destroy enemy satellites in space

In 1985, the Cold War turned 40 years old. Though the Space Race had been over for more than a decade by then, the competition between the Americans and Soviets for the domination of Earth’s orbit was intense.


Each side used spy satellites to track the military movements of their rival. The Soviet Union became so proficient at the use of satellites, it could launch many rockets into orbit, sometimes in a matter of hours.

The number of satellites the Soviet Union could produce and their ability to place them in orbit so quickly was considered a dangerous threat. Figuring out how to mitigate the threat of an object in low Earth orbit was the order of the day.

Enter the F-15.

The F-15 carried an ASM-135 ASAT anti-satellite missile, a 3,000-pound, 18-foot-long projectile that the pilot would carry to the edge of space before firing at a target 345 miles above the surface of the Earth, moving at 23,000 feet per second.

They tested the tactic on P78-1, an obsolete American research satellite, in orbit since 1979.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
Maj. Wilbert ‘Doug’ Pearson successfully launched an anti-satellite, or ASAT, missile from a highly modified F-15A on Sept. 13, 1985 in the Pacific Missile Test Range. He scored a direct hit on the Solwind P78-1 satellite orbiting 340 miles above. (U.S. Air Force photo by Paul E. Reynolds)

On Sept. 13, 1985, then-Maj. Wilbert “Doug” Pearson took off from Vandenberg Air Force Base, Calif., bound for the edge of the the atmosphere. Once he reached 30,000 feet, he would have 10 seconds to fire his weapon.

The Smithsonian has actual video from the fight of then-Maj. Pearson’s F-15.

Flying at just above Mach 1.2, Pearson pulled up into a 3.8 G, 65-degree climb that reduced the speed of his F-15A to just below the speed of sound. He fired the guided missile at 38,100 feet. The 2,700-pound, three-stage missile used an infrared sensor to strike its target, hitting the one-ton satellite at 15,000 miles per hour.

The flight was dubbed the”Celestial Eagle Flight” and made Pearson “the first and only space ace.”

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Navy announces new patches and insignia for sailors and special operators

Along with announcing Aug. 5 that they would soon be ditching the blue digital camouflage Navy Working Uniform Type I, the U.S. Navy said it will also allow the popular “Don’t Tread On Me” patches for its uniforms and would offer new insignia for its boat driving commandos.


As of Oct. 1, any sailor wearing the woodland digital NWU Type III duds can sport the DTOM flag patch in the same camouflage scheme. SEALs and other Naval Special Warfare Unit sailors, or those specifically authorized to wear the desert digital NWU Type II, may also wear a similarly-camouflaged DTOM patch.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
MCPON answers a question from Hospital Corpsman 2nd Class Miguel Ferrer during an all hands call on March 24, 2016. Note the subdued DOTM patch on his left shoulder and the subdued reverse American flag on his right shoulder. (U.S. Navy photo by Lisa Lill, Naval Hospital Beaufort public affairs officer) (Released)

The Navy also says it will allow sailors to wear the reverse American flag, which denotes units deployed in combat overseas, on the Type II and Type III uniforms.

“During garrison and non-tactical exercises or operations, the non-tactical DTOM and Reverse Flag patches may be optionally worn at the discretion of the unit commanding officer and at the expense of the Sailor,” the Navy announced in Navy Administrations Message 174/16. “During tactical deployment exercises and operations, a tactical DTOM and Reverse Flag patch may be worn at the discretion of the unit commander and approval from the Task Force or Joint Task Force Commander.”

The Navy’s permission for sailors to wear the Don’t Tread On Me patches puts to rest a controversy prompted by a Republican congressional candidate two years ago who said SEALs had been barred from wearing the popular patch over fears it had a political connection to the conservative Tea Party.

As the Washington Post reported at the time, the patch is actually a derivative of the First Navy Jack flag used by the Continental Navy during the American Revolution and was authorized by then-Navy Sec. Gordon England for use on ships after the 9/11 attacks.

Reports indicated the SEALs were barred from wearing the DOTM flag patch for a short time after leaders realized there were no standards for the new digital camouflage outfits. Shortly after the controversy erupted, Naval Special Warfare authorized the DOTM wear for Navy commandos. Now the service is giving the go-ahead for all sailors to don the Revolutionary War-era flag.

The new Navy uniform regs also include a revised series of badges for Special Warfare Combatant-craft Crewmen — an effort the community has been pushing for about five years. The three new badges will denote the qualifications and seniority of the individual crewman and will be phased in beginning this month.

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like
The Navy has updated the Naval Special Warfare Combatant-craft Crewman insignia with three versions outlining a sailor’s skill and seniority. The new badges will look like these but carry different official designations.

SWCC Basic Insignia: A 2.5 x 1 1/4-inch silver matte metal pin showing a background of a cocked flintlock pistol, a crossed naval enlisted cutlass, and a MK V Special Operations Craft atop a bow wave.

SWCC Senior Insignia:  A 2.5 x 1 3/8-inch silver matte metal pin showing a background of an anchor, cocked flintlock pistol, a crossed naval enlisted cutlass and a MK V Special Operations Craft atop a bow wave.

SWCC Master Insignia:  A 2.5 x 1 3/8-inch silver matte metal pin showing a background of an anchor with a banner and three gold stars, cocked flintlock pistol, a crossed naval enlisted cutlass and a MK V Special Operations Craft atop a bow wave.

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Mushroom sports drinks and 5 more most glorious revolutionary people’s North Korean inventions

Did you know the Glorious Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has invented many revolutionary technological and cultural wonders? With guidance from the Eternal Great Leader Kim Il-Sung, his son Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il, and the many followers of the Great Marshal Kim Jong-Un, the magnificent Juche ideology has led to the creation of many things the evil imperialists and their southern puppets claim to be their own.


7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like

These five wonders of the modern world are undisputedly from the one true Korea, however – and the lying imperialist media even admits to the greatness and vision of these amazing North Korean inventions.

1. The Cure for AIDS, Cancer, and Ebola – in one drug

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like

When the gangster regime of Obama tried to rid the world of the oppressed Africans by spreading Ebola, our most humble Marshal Kim Jong-Un and his scientists triumphed where the Western American lapdogs would not. By infusing rare earth elements into superior Korean ginseng, the glorious Marshal discovered Kumdang-2, which was found to cure 56 percent of AIDS patients, a number of cancers, Ebola, addiction, impotence, and many more vicious maladies, probably a creation of American capitalist biological weapons manufacturers!

2. Hamburgers

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like

In 2004, Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il graced the Korean people with his invention of a brand new sandwich called Double Bread with Meat. The decadent Western imperialist media derided the invention and stole it as they have tried to steal the pride of the Korean people, claiming it as their own. Comrade Kim Jong-Il honors us with his protection and guidance in immediately setting up a factory to produce his new sandwich. Large-nosed American capitalists swill their sandwiches with the brown cesspool sugar water swill they call “Coke” while the people of Korea patriotically drink water to be prepared for reunification of the peninsula at any moment!

3. The invisible phone

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like

North Koreans are guided by the advice from our most divine, usually when the Supreme Leader is visiting. But when our Dear Leader (may his soul be ever ascendant with the stars in heaven), Kim Jong-Il needed to guide the glorious People’s soccer matches during the decadent World Cup games, he needed a technology that would allow him to give coaches the knowledge they needed to win the games. The guiding light from heaven invented a mobile phone that could not be seen with the naked eye. The dog of a coach did not listen to all the Dear Leader’s advice and our comrades on the field fell to the malignant Brazilian dogs, 2-1.

4. Waterproof Liquid

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like

This most glorious invention is revolutionizing the housing boom in the glorious capital city of Pyongyang. As hapless America begins to crumble under the weight of its own ignorance, the Juche idea and its ant-colonialist construction forces use this to seal floors and keep the flowing waters of the mighty Taedonggang River out of the homes of loyal patriot Koreans.

5. Unicorns

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like

Though Unicorns are not so much an invention as they are a discovery, the fact that a unicorn lair was uncovered the lair of unicorns ridden by King Tonngmyong, the ancient ancestor of our Eternal President and Great Leader, the wise and mighty Kim Il-Sung. The King founded his empire in the Juche Year -4912 on the backs of these mighty beasts which would surely have trodden upon the criminal regime in Seoul, puppets of the colonialist American mongrels.

6. Mushroom Sports Drinks

7 hilarious Marine shenanigans the commandant wouldn’t like

Decadent capitalist American athletes drink their salty poisonous trash water, Gatorade. The pure North Korean people’s athletes represent their country by the overwhelming virtuousness with a natural beverage that enhances the physical ability of sportspersons. This all-natural drink is made from Juche idealist mushrooms which will surely cause a worldwide demand for the mushroom, which we will use to tirelessly crush the treacherous southern hyenas.

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