7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop - We Are The Mighty
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7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop

Messing around with your fellow Joes is always good fun. It’s a lighthearted way of letting them know that they’re “one of the guys.” After all, if you didn’t care about someone, you wouldn’t mess with them — right?


Every unit has a communications (commo/comms) person. Oftentimes, the guy spending his time in the commo shop (S-6) gets a little lonely, toiling away at fixing the internet or the Commander’s computer. What better way is there to let them know that they’re a part of the team than by messing with them from time to time?

Doing any of the things on this list should come from a place of mutual friendship. Don’t do anything that would get you UCMJed, impede the mission, or cost you your military bearing. Basically, don’t be a dick about it.

Related: 9 epic ways you can troll your radio guy

7. Call them ‘nerds’

Enlisting in the Army as a computer guy is one of the least ‘grunt’ things you can do. Chances are, they’re well aware of how ‘POG-y’ they really are and will brush it off.

If you really want to push their buttons, just slyly refer to them as ‘nerds’ in conversation. They’ll try to deny it, but we know. We all know.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Anyone want to try and guess their MOS? (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Manuel A. Estrada)

6. Say, “but I tried turning it off and back on again!”

A good computer guy will know the ins and outs of how to fix the problem. But as everyone in the military knows, being in a position doesn’t always mean they’re qualified for the task.

An easy solution that many of the younger, more inexperienced computer guys will default to is called a “power cycle,” which is literally just turning it off and back on again.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop

5. Give them a dumb but effective password

Say something like, “one two, three fours, five sixes, and seven.” When typed out, it should look something like, ‘244466666seVEN!’

Technically, it meets all DoD guidelines — with the added benefit of the commo guy looking at you funny.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
It’s not like our admin passwords are that much more difficult, though. (Photo by Timothy Shannon)

4. Ask if that red cable you snipped was important

The red cable is “SIPR Net,” or “Secret Internet Protocol Router Network.” It’s used for much of the highly-classified communication that needs to remain secure and separate from everything else you’d normally do on the internet.

The commo shop is supposed to be the custodian of the secret internet. Sometimes, they need a little reminder that its security is important.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
That, or they just ran out of every other color cable. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Renae Pittman)

3. Tell them to fix their loose cables

Ever see someone spend way too long to get whatever they’re setting up juuuuust right? That’s how the S-6 is when it comes to arranging the internet stacks.

After they spend hours working on making it beautiful, tell them it’s slightly off. If their cables actually look jacked up, tell them they fail as a commo guy.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Hours upon hours of work. And if it’s not color-coded, it’s time to start over again. (Photo by Sgt. Frank O’Brien)

2. Ask if they can get it done faster

It may not seem like it, but there’s a method to the madness. If the problem can be solved at the lowest level, they’ll do it. If the problem is too big to handle, they’ll try anyway.

But a third of the time, the issue is locked behind higher level administrator rights than their shop can access. Now, everyone is working on the civilian contractor’s time. When the commo shop can’t do anything about it, make sure to remind them to go faster.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
The work order is put in — no need to remind us every few months about getting it back… (Image by Headquarters, 4th Infantry Division Public Affairs)

1. Fake-spoil some nerdy TV show or movie

Remember a few points ago when I said they hate being called nerds? Drive that knife in deeper by fake-ruining something they like.

Don’t be that asshole who actually ruins the movie (or do. I don’t care and you’re an adult), but if the film just came out and you know they haven’t seen it yet, make up some random crap just to mess with them. If they’ve already seen it, they’ll get that you’re messing with them, but if they haven’t, it’ll throw off their entire day until they realize you’re full of sh*t.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Just watch out for the small, squirrely bastards… Unless you can take them. (U.S. Army photo by Staff Sgt. Lance Pounds)

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Here’s how US Marines evacuate an American Embassy

The U.S. Marine Corps has the unique mission of securing embassies worldwide. Marines are stationed in embassies as security, they’re sent as reinforcements for diplomatic missions that find themselves in trouble, and they get the first call if an embassy gets evacuation orders. They even have a Special Purpose Marine Air-Ground Task Force based in Spain that specializes in embassy evacuations and other missions in Africa.


Here’s what the Marines do when an American ambassador decides it’s not safe to stay in an embassy.

1. Marines are generally alerted a few days ahead that an embassy evacuation is likely and stage in forward bases. Once the call comes in, they’re able to quickly move into transports.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
A quick reaction force with Special-Purpose Marine Air-Ground Task Force Crisis Response prepares to depart Naval Air Station Sigonella, Italy, in support of a military assisted departure from the U.S. Embassy in Tripoli, Libya, Saturday, July 26, 2014. Photo: US Marine Corps 1st Lt. Maida Kalic

2. Which base is used depends on diplomatic clearances, available equipment, and local security situations. The Marines will typically stage in the most secure place that will allow them to move to the embassy as quickly as possible.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Ospreys with Special-Purpose Marine Air-Ground Task Force Crisis Response prepare to take off in support of a military assisted departure from the U.S. Embassy in Tripoli, Libya, July 26, 2014. Photo: US Marine Corps 1st Lt. Maida Kalic

3. Once they arrive at the embassy, the Marines establish communications with their headquarters and begin securing the area.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Marines establish communications during an embassy evacuation exercise. Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Jodson B. Graves

4. The Marines establish a defensive perimeter for the embassy personnel to move within.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Marines secure the exit route for civilian personnel inside the U.S. Embassy housing compound in Tirana, Albania, on March 15, 1997. Photo: US Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Brett Siegel

5. Besides the Marines on the ground, air and naval assets may be used to ensure the security of the evacuation.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
A U.S. Marine provides security during an embassy evacuation exercise while an AV-8B Harrier flies overhead. Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Jodson B. Graves

5. Marines can track the civilians they are evacuating in a few ways. When available, barcodes can allow the Marines to quickly track confirmed passengers, rather than checking the I.D. cards and passports at each stage.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
A Marine tags a confirmed role player while conducting an embassy evacuation exercise. Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Jodson B. Graves

6. Once Marines have confirmed the personnel they will be evacuating, they can begin moving those people to the transports.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Marines guide U.S. citizens down the flight line in Juba, South Sudan, during an evacuation of personnel from the U.S. Embassy, Jan. 3, 2014. Photo: US Marine Corps Staff. Sgt. Robert L. Fisher III

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Role players are led by a Marine into a CH-53E Super Stallion during an embassy evacuation exercise. Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Jodson B. Graves

7. A Marine will track the passengers entering the transport against a manifest to ensure that no personnel are left behind.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
A Marine accounts for passengers on a manifest in Juba, South Sudan, during an evacuation of personnel from the U.S. Embassy, Jan. 3, 2014. Photo: US Marine Corps Staff. Sgt. Robert L. Fisher III

8. The task force will remain on the ground as the transports depart, keeping the area secure until all are ferried out.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Marines brace themselves against rotor wash from a CH-53E Super Stallion during an embassy evacuation exercise. Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Jodson B. Graves

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Marines provide security during an embassy evacuation exercise. Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Jodson B. Graves

9. Once the civilians have been removed from the embassy, the Marines will follow them out.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Marines sit in a CH-53E Super Stallion after conducting an embassy evacuation exercise. Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Jodson B. Graves

10. The transports will bring everyone to a secure area where the Marines will get final accountability of both the civilians and their own forces.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
Master Sgt. Robert Gupton, a Marine with Special-Purpose Marine Air-Ground Task Force Crisis Response, accounts for passengers on a manifest at Entebbe, Uganda, after safely evacuating them from the U.S. Embassy in Juba, South Sudan, Jan. 3, 2014. Photo: US Marine Corps Staff. Sgt. Robert L. Fisher III

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D-Day Diary

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Air War Over Europe in World War Two

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Fighter Pilot of the Tuskegee Airmen

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Beijing vows ‘stern measures’ after US ship sails near South China Sea islands

China on Oct. 11 protested the sailing of a US Navy ship near its territorial claims in the South China Sea, saying it would continue to take measures to protect Beijing’s interests in the vital waterway claimed by several nations.


A US official said the destroyer USS Chafee sailed near the Paracel Islands on Oct. 10, coming within 16 nautical miles (30 kilometers) of land. The Navy does not announce such missions in advance and the official spoke on condition of anonymity.

Chinese foreign ministry spokeswoman Hua Chunying denounced the mission as dangerous and a violation of China’s sovereignty. She said the military verified the presence of the US ship by sea and air and warned it off.

7 epic ways you can troll your commo shop
The guided-missile destroyer USS Chafee (DDG 90). Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Diana Quinlan.

“The Chinese government will continue to take firm measures to safeguard national territory, sovereignty, and maritime interests,” Hua told reporters at a daily briefing.

China claims the South China Sea and its islands virtually in their entirety, and its military expelled Vietnamese forces from the Paracels in 1974. The US does not take an official position on sovereignty claims, but the Navy regularly sails through the area to assert freedom of navigation.

China usually claims to have “expelled” Navy ships on such missions and its relatively mild response this time suggested the Chafee had not entered what it claims are its territorial waters.

The South China Sea has crucial shipping lanes, rich fishing grounds and potential oil, gas and other mineral deposits. China has carried out extensive land reclamation work on many of the islands and reefs it claims, equipping some with air strips and military installations.

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Pacific War Marine in WWII

John Nicely was a Sergeant in the US Marine Corps during the brutal Pacific island campaigns of WWII.  He saw his first action in the battle for the island of Saipan on June 15th, 1944.  From there he continued fighting from island to island and eventually prepared for the invasion of Japan. Nicely and his unit entered the devastated city of Nagasaki, just 25 days after the nuclear blast.  We met up with him at a reunion of the 2nd Marine division in 1994 and he shared his vivid personal memories of front-line combat.

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On June 6, 1944, the Allies launched the largest amphibious military assault in history known as D-Day.  More than 150,000 American, British and Canadian forces landed on five beaches along the heavily fortified coast of France’s Normandy region.  The invasion involved nearly 5,000 landing and assault craft, 289 escort vessels, and 277 minesweepers. Some of the first men to hit the beach on D-Day were the U.S. Navy Combat Demolition Unit.  Jerry Markham and John Talton were members of this elite group.  In this episode, these courageous veterans tell their dramatic stories, In Their Own Words.

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Hours before the Allied Forces hit the beaches of Normandy, courageous British and American soldiers entered France with parachutes and gliders to secure key bridges and enemy artillery positions.  Their dangerous missions led the way for the D-Day invasion and ultimate victory in Europe.  Wally Parr, Terance Otway and Bill True recount their dramatic stories, In Their Own Words.

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Charles L. Phillips was a 26-year-old Captain in the U.S. Army Air Corps, piloting B-29 bombers in the Pacific theater during the final years of WWII.   He was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for his heroics during the strategic bombing campaign over Japan. One of Phillip’s last missions was on August 6, 1945, the same day the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima.   During the air battle he was forced to ditch his B-29 into the sea.  We interviewed Charles Phillips in 1991 and he told us remarkable stories, from his early training in Texas to the firebombing of Tokyo.

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