Our Military Alarm Clock is guaranteed to wake the dead!

Today's special offer is guaranteed to wake you up in time to get more of our special offers!

Here at the Mighty Value Center, we provide only the best quality, top-of-the-line products developed from extensive research on the front lines and delivered right to your door.

After decades of hazing, pranks, and general tomfoolery, military scientists have discovered the secret to waking up on time — every time.

Veteran salesman Greg Hahn brings you the ability to wake the living, the dead, and everything in between! Forget a snooze button, you'll never be late again with our specially patented Military Alarm Clock (beating stick not included).

Wake up and act now! Supplies are limited.