Actor Blair Underwood was in first grade the first time that he remembers his mother saying she wanted to write a book.
It could have been a fleeting memory, a random thought spoken by a military spouse juggling so many tasks. Underwood (“L.A. Law,” “Rules of Engagement”) never forgot it, though, mainly because Marilyn Ann Scales Underwood kept repeating it over the years.
Related: These military spouses were unsung heroes of American history
Marilyn’s husband, Frank Sr., spent 28 years in the United States Army and retired as a colonel. He and Marilyn imparted myriad life lessons onto their children: Blair; his older brother, Frank Jr.; and younger sisters, Marlo and Mellisa). One of them was to believe anything is achievable, so when Marilyn died on October 28, 2020, at the age of 84 without becoming a published author, the dream did not die.
It just needed to be revived.
Fulfilling One of Mom’s Longtime Goals
The result of so much hard work is “A Soldier’s Wife: My Mother, the Marvelous Mrs. Marilyn A. Underwood” by Blair Underwood and Ylonda Gault, which is currently available for preorder until its official release on April 14.
It took almost three years to see the book through to completion, Underwood told We Are The Mighty in a recent interview.
“I never knew the woman who was my mother before she became my mother,” Underwood said. “I was fascinated to learn who that young lady was and really who that teenager was, who that child was.”
Raised by a single mother, Marilyn Underwood was born in Buffalo, New York, in 1936. Her mother was a powerhouse in her own right, instilling in Marilyn the confidence, ambition, and positive outlook that served her well later in life. Marilyn was dead-set on building a career in the fashion industry until she met a handsome Army soldier.
Embracing Becoming a Military Spouse
Marilyn and Frank were engaged within a month. Before they married, the young service member warned her about the path ahead.
“I am in the Army to stay,” Frank told his fiancee in “A Soldier’s Wife.” “Now, I love you, but if you don’t want to travel and if you don’t think you can cope with this life, let’s call it quits now.”
Marilyn didn’t flinch.
She took her role of being a military spouse seriously, realizing it was best to embrace change and not fight it. Not that she had a choice. The Underwoods moved 22 times during their six-decade marriage.
“So many times, my dad would come home and say, ‘OK, I have a new assignment. We have to move to Virginia, move to Colorado, or move to, wherever, Michigan,” Blair said. “My mom never skipped a beat and just said, ‘OK, how much time do we have? Let’s do it.’”
Underwood said being a military spouse gave his mother “a fervent purpose in life.” In Marilyn’s case, that purpose was enhanced because of her family’s race. Frank faced challenges as a Black Army officer in the 1960s and ’70s that his white peers did not, so realizing that, Marilyn was intent on alleviating whatever stress she could on her husband.
She provided a safe haven for Frank and their children.
“They’re both go-getters and not complainers,” Blair said. “They just did what they had to do. That’s what made them such a great partnership within the military world.”
Her Battle with Multiple Sclerosis
Like so many military spouses, one label wasn’t enough to define Marilyn.
A deeply religious woman, she was a choir director. She was an interior designer and appreciated good fashion sense so much that she almost never was caught without wearing her pearls and earrings. She and Frank became a top-selling couple for Amway, a giant in the direct-selling industry.
Marilyn, who never graduated from college, even enrolled in an online school a couple of years before her death. By that time, she was near the end of a three-decade battle with multiple sclerosis.
Blair discovered something about his mother as she fought the neurological disorder and was confined to a wheelchair.
“I knew she was a fighter,” Underwood said. “She did everything with such class and pizzazz, but I learned she was a warrior. When she’s dealing with something that is ultimately life and death, how she faced it inspired me. I carry that with me to this day.”
Going After What You Want
Blair decided he wanted to be an actor when he was 15, so Marilyn took him and her sister Marlo to a local dinner theater in Virginia.
Marilyn told her children to go inside and inquire about any acting opportunities. Their mother didn’t move. When Blair asked her whether she was coming in, too, Marilyn remained in the car.
“”No, son, this is on you,” Marilyn said.
Undoubtedly nervous, the Underwood children went into the theater and were hired.
That is one of several anecdotes in “A Soldier’s Wife,” which Blair saw across the finish line with the help of so many others. The Underwood family pored over Marilyn’s thoughts preserved in notebooks, journals, and text messages. They listened to recordings and rewatched family videos. Several of Marilyn’s high school friends, along with Amway co-horts, also provided their recollections.
A fuller picture of Marilyn emerged.
“At the core of who my mom was, she was a motivator,” Underwood said. “She inspired everyone who met her.”
