From the moment you arrive to the day you graduate, Marine Corps boot camp is the worst time of your life. Thankfully, during a recruit’s time at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot, he or she can find ways to temporarily postpone the mental and physical ass-kicking.
The art of avoiding work and responsibilities, better known as “skating” (or “shamming” for you Army types) will become a necessary skill for us throughout our military careers. But it always begins at the same place: boot camp.
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1. Go to medical.
You can spend all day sitting at medical to skate out of the day’s event. This method, if used too often, will earn you a prime spot on the Drill Instructor’s (and maybe the doctor’s) sh*t list.
2. Get your wisdom teeth pulled.
The military takes wisdom teeth like it needs them for some super secret weapon that keeps Russia poor. This method sucks, but you get three days sick-in-quarters where you don’t leave the squad bay, and then you get another five days of light duty, where you aren’t allowed to run or lift heavy things. The military is going to take your wisdom teeth at some point, why not now?
3. Get stuck on a working party.
If you’re stuck on a working party while everyone else is training, you’ll probably want to take your time to finish the job at hand. Disclaimer: there are a lot of things that need to be cleaned, and not all of them are pleasant. In fact, most of them are not pleasant. Use this method at your own risk.
4. Have a penicillin allergy.
This one is really a gift and a curse. The benefit of being allergic to penicillin is that you get to leave the squad bay early on Friday mornings to go to breakfast ahead of your platoon so you can get to medical and receive a special antibiotic pill.
Not only can this help you avoid morning training, but it also eliminates the need for the infamous peanut-butter shot. The downside, however, is that it comes with some crappy side effects, like diarrhea.
4. Become a scribe
Scribes assist the drill instructors in compiling lists and tracking information about the recruits in their respective platoons. The reason this is such a great way to skate is that, oftentimes, these lists need to be made and revised during training events, so scribes can skip out — especially when it’s Phase 3 and the Crucible is only days away.
The big thing about being a scribe is that you make the nightly fire watch list. In fact, some scribes choose to exempt themselves from this list (Note: If you’re not a scribe, it’s good to make friends with one).
