9 military badasses with awesome nicknames - We Are The Mighty
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9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

A lot of accomplishments in the military get overlooked or rewarded with a couple metal baubles to be worn on the chest.


But sometimes, a man leads a couple of invasions and gets to keep his callsign for the rest of his life as a nickname, or someone leaves their job as a respected religious leader to become a major general known as “The Fighting Bishop.” Here are nine awesome nicknames bestowed on military badasses:

1. Gen. Jim “Chaos” Mattis

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
(Photo: Department of Defense D. Myles Cullen)

While many more people know retired Marine Corps general and current U.S. Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis as “Mad Dog,” that nickname was actually foisted upon him by the press, and he apparently doesn’t like it.

His nickname among his men was his callsign, “Chaos.”

2. Adm. Arleigh “31-Knot” Burke

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

Navy Adm. Arleigh Burke — yeah, the guy those destroyers are named after — was ordered to shut down a major Japanese troop transfer near the end of the Solomon Islands Campaign. But Burke’s ships were in need of repair and the convoy couldn’t attempt to move at its top speed, 38 knots.

So Burke’s commander sent him orders that began, “THIRTY-ONE KNOT BURKE GET …” and Burke readily agreed, pushing his convoy task force to 31 knots and getting to the Japanese evacuation just in time to launch a skilled attack on Thanksgiving morning that sank three of the five Japanese ships.

3. Maj. Gen. Leonidas “The Fighting Bishop” Polk

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
(Photo: Public Domain)

The story of Leonidas Polk’s nickname is pretty simple. He attended West Point, left the military for religious life, became a bishop, and then returned to the military as a Confederate general in the Civil War.

He was a bishop who fought in a war, and his men started calling him “The Fighting Bishop.”

4. Gen. George “Grey Wolf” Crook

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Awesome nickname, better beard. (Photo: Public Domain)

Union Gen. George Crook was a bottom-of-his-class West Point graduate who distinguished himself in the Civil War and Indian Wars. It was during the Indian Wars that the Apache gave Crook the nickname “Nantan Lupan,” which translates to Grey Wolf.

5. Eugene “Black Swallow of Death” Bullard

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Eugene Bullard. (Photo: Department of Defense)

American Eugene Bullard emigrated to France just before Germany invaded it. He joined the French Foreign Legion and became in infantry hero before an injury ended his ground combat time. So, he joined the French Escadrille and became a fighter pilot, possibly the first black one. He also served as a spy in World War II.

Oddly enough, Bullard’s nickname, “The Black Swallow of Death,” was bestowed for his prowess as an infantryman, not for his two aerial kills as a pilot.

6. Gen. George “Old Blood and Guts” Patton, Jr.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
(Photo: U.S. Army)

Legendary Army officer Gen. George S. Patton, Jr., America’s first and possibly greatest tank officer, promised his junior leaders that World War II would be full of grisly horror. He told them, “You will be up to your neck in blood and guts.” The men decided that was the perfect nickname for him.

7. Pvt. Edwin “Balaclava Ned” Hughes

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Painting: Richard Caton Woodville, Jr., Public Domain

British Pvt. Edwin Hughes had a pretty unfortunate nickname. He was one of the cavalrymen who took part in the ill-fated Charge of the Light Brigade in 1854. That famous charge took place in the Battle of Balaclava, and Hughes’ “friends” apparently thought he would want a constant reminder of the day that all of his friends died, because they gave him the nickname “Balaclava Ned.”

8. Sir Douglas “Butcher of the Somme” Haig

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
(Portrait: Imperial War Museum)

Sir Douglas Haig was the British Field Marshal in World War I, commanding the entire British Expeditionary Force. He was well-regarded by the British public immediately after the war, but there were lingering questions about whether his offensive tactics led to too many British casualties.

At the Battle of the Somme, the severe British losses led to Haig being dubbed “The Butcher of the Somme.”

9. Gen. Joe “Vinegar Joe” Stilwell

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
(Photo: U.S. Army)

Joe Stilwell was one of America’s greatest generals in the 20th Century, rated higher than famous names like Patton and Bradley in a pre-war survey of military leadership. And Stilwell had a reputation for a mouth that would’ve made Patton blush, lots of curse words and colorful insults. That led to his nickname, “Vinegar Joe,” referring to how caustic his tongue was.

Unfortunately for Stilwell, his skills with the Chinese language led to him losing command of the Africa invasion and getting a diplomatic mission to China instead. After the Chinese kicked him out a few years later, Stilwell was given command of the invasion of Japan, an invasion that never happened.

Wonder what Joe had to say about those two events?

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The best and the worst Air Force recruiting slogans of all time

The U.S. Air Force has had many recruiting slogans, used at various times to varying effect. The current Air Force slogan “Aim High, Fly-Fight-Win” is no “We’re Looking For A Few Good Men” or “The Few The Proud, The Marines.” But yet the USAF continues its effort to come up with something as sticky as “Semper Fi.”


9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Not happening.

Marine Corps slogan recognition will always beat any branch (and even some national brands… there are studies on this), but Air Force advertising has been like the Cleveland Browns trying to find a quarterback – they were on to something early, but after a while, it got confusing.

Here’s WATM’s list of Air Force slogans ranked from the best ideas to the worst:

1. “Aim High”

Easily the best slogan the Air Force ever used. Aim High is so good, the Air Force had to bring it back. It’s fast, snappy, memorable, and says all you need to know: we think we’re the best branch, so why try to join the Army or Navy? I don’t know why they changed it and they probably couldn’t tell you either but whatever they changed it to had to be the Merrill McPeak uniform of Air Force slogan.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
That was the most Air Force joke ever made.

2. “Uno Ab Alto (One From on High)”

This sounds less like Airmen and more like Gandalf the Gray. Or a Harry Potter spell. Looking for that badass Latin quote will get you into trouble, Air Force. I can’t fault them too much because this was before Aim High. Uno Ab Alto gets #2 because it’s a classier way of saying “Death From Above” (Mors Ab Alto) which I think is a far better recruiting slogan for the Drone Age. If you want to attract more drone pilots, just say what you mean.

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The 7th Bomb Wing is ahead of the game.

3. “Aim High . . . Fly-Fight-Win”

Sloganeering as a result of surveys, meetings, and calls for suggestions: the true Air Force way. This latest iteration of “Aim High” ranks as #3 because it’s riding the coattails of #1.

This will likely not be replaced for a long time considering the amount of research, time, and money effort spent on coming up with it. It shouldn’t be a surprise to Air Force veterans that the Air Force put so much into changing their slogan only to lean on one they used a decade or so ago and adding a college fight song to it.

If they wanted to use things Airmen naturally say to each other as a recruiting slogan, they should have just listened to Airmen in squadron hallways, but this would probably result in the Air Force slogan being “Have a great Air Force day” “Happy Hour?” or “See you tomorrow, Doug.”

4. “The Sky’s No Limit”

Harkening back to the Air Force’s Cold War glory days, The Sky’s No Limit is actually not a bad one to fall back on if we’re just going to start resurrecting old lines. The test pilots of the days of yore were pretty ballsy, and with the Air Force’s expanding missions as an Air and Space Force, this is a good descriptive slogan, even if it’s a little vague.

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Airman Snuffy just brings his buddies on the flightline, NBD.

The only real problem with this is a lot of the Air Force doesn’t really fly so for them, the sky’s no limit, but getting there certainly is. Believe it or not, some people who join the Air Force don’t want to fly. The fighting and winning are fun, though.

5. “Do Something Amazing”

While the Air Force has some heroic people working in incredible career fields (that is, people who do those amazing somethings), it also has cooks, plumbers, and lawyers. All are necessary to the Air Force mission (and are true-blue lifesavers when you really want or need one – trust me, you want these people to be your friends), but these aren’t the careers you think of when you’re considering joining the military. You might be disappointed when you’re thinking about all the amazing AFSCs you’ll cross-train into the moment you can. At least they’re not patronizing people by framing additional duties as a great activity.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Marines probably do this.

Actually, you know what’s amazing? Spending an entire enlistment without ever having to see Tops In Blue.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
And at air shows.

Also, “amazing” is what a sorority girl calls her summer study abroad program in London.

6. “We Do The Impossible Everyday”

… And we do the hyperbolic so much more. Read some USAF EPRs for the most flowery language you’ve ever seen. The thesaurus was created for Air Force performance reviews. You need one to make it sound like your creepy subordinate deserves a goddamn medal for volunteering to watch people pee.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
The sky’s no limit.

This line looks like the Air Force doesn’t know the meaning of the word impossible (Which is a much better slogan. Air Force, call me). The biggest problem with this slogan is that they also do the very, very possible all the time. Not every one gets the “impossible” job.

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What’s she holding? Wait, They read from dead trees? MAGIC.

You know what’s possible? Getting booted out for your third alcohol-related incident because Frank’s Franks won’t put hot dogs on Anthony’s Pizza. You know who makes that possible? Air Force JAGs and security forces.

7. “No One Comes Close”

This wouldn’t have been so bad in retrospect, except you know who comes close? The Navy. They also have fighters and stuff. Not exactly the same missions, I know, but… close enough to make this slogan awkward.

8. “Cross Into The Blue”

This nebulous Blue. Context tells you it’s the sky but the ocean is also blue, for the record, and it’s a much more tangible blue to cross into. This would be a better line for trying to get Army people to come to the Air Force, but I doubt that would be the goal (Airmen use the term “Army Proof” for a reason).

9. “It’s Not Science Fiction, It’s What We Do Everyday”

This would be a better slogan for Scientology. I don’t remember Orson Scott Card writing about drone strikes in Pakistan but maybe somewhere a six-year-old is playing video games and ending terrorists. No one confuses drones with alien technology. The Internet had been around for a long time when these ads started. So too with night vision. Until DARPA puts those Iron Man suits in field tests, no one will ever make that connection.

America’s Airmen (for the most part) are not delusional about themselves. They don’t need to be. For all the “Chair Force” smack Airman take from other branches, troops like Ammo are awesome in their own way and don’t need to pretend they’re all combat controllers.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Except Mondays between 1100 and 1400.

10. “We’ve Been Waiting For You”

Slightly ominous, it doesn’t really inspire as much as it implies the Air Force has been watching you while you sleep, staring at you from across crowded rooms, and following you home after school.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

11. “Above All”

Unfinished thoughts probably always seem like a great idea for a slogan in meetings. Sure, I get the idea of putting your branch above everyone else’s as a way to foster esprit de corps, but it can be troublesome sometimes.

Every branch has their strengths, so let’s be real. Unlike this Air Force Training Instructor:

Another reason this slogan ranks so low is the lack of originality. Uber alles (above all) is the German national anthem.

12. “A Great Way of Life”

An older slogan which probably seemed appropriate for a time when the Air Force has to pull people from living the American Dream and get them into the Air Force, where they would sleep on the flightline and be prepared to bomb Russians into the Stone Age 24/7.

The Airmen of the Strategic Air Command era were pretty badass in their own right. Nowadays, this would mean highlighting the golf course, gym, the dorms (and the Airmen who live there), the DFAC, and all the stupid shit young Airmen tend to do when they get to their first duty station.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

Articles

7 photos of Mattis’s first day as SecDef

“Secretary of Defense James Mattis” is going to be hard to type after he spent so many years as “Marine Corps Gen. and Angel of Death James ‘Chaos’ Mattis,” but we’re going to have to type it because he is now, officially, in place as the Secretary of Defense.


His public affairs staff recently saw fit to share images from Mattis’s first day with the rest of a grateful nation. Here are seven of the best:

1. Mattis emerges from his vehicle for his first full day and is met by his old peer, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Joseph Dunford.

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Secretary of Defense James Mattis greets U.S. Marine Corps Gen. Joseph Dunford, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, after arriving at the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., Jan. 21, 2017. (DOD photo by Air Force Tech. Sgt. Brigitte N. Brantley)

2. Mattis and Dunford enter the Pentagon. Reports of them growling “urrr” to let everyone know that the Devil Dogs had arrived have not been confirmed.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Secretary of Defense James Mattis greets U.S. Marine Corps Gen. Joseph Dunford, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, after arriving at the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., Jan. 21, 2017. (DOD photo by Air Force Tech. Sgt. Brigitte N. Brantley)

3. Mattis was met by senior leaders of the military branches on his way to his office. At least two are rumored to have sworn fealty.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Secretary of Defense James Mattis greets U.S. Army Command Sgt. Maj. John Troxell, Senior Enlisted Advisor to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, after arriving at the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., Jan. 21, 2017. (DOD photo by Air Force Tech. Sgt. Brigitte N. Brantley)

4. A bunch of senior staff lined the halls and were all, “Dude, it’s real. Mattis is back, and he’s in charge this time.”

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
The 26th Secretary of Defense, James Mattis, arrives at the Pentagon on his first full day in the position in Arlington, VA, Jan. 21, 2017. DoD photo by D. Myles Cullen (released)

5. They followed him towards his office, possibly worried that he would disappear in a poof of smoke if they looked away.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Secretary of Defense James Mattis arrives at the Pentagon on his first full day of office in Washington, D.C., Jan. 21, 2017. (DOD photo by Air Force Tech. Sgt. Brigitte N. Brantley)

6. Mattis spoke with his undersecretary and the Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Paul Selva, neither of whom were bitten during the encounter.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Secretary of Defense James Mattis speaks with Deputy Secretary of Defense Bob Work and U.S. Air Force Gen. Paul Selva, Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, after arriving at the Pentagon on his first full day of office in Washington, D.C., Jan. 21, 2017. (DOD photo by Air Force Tech. Sgt. Brigitte N. Brantley)

7. The Pentagon’s “Top 4” then met to discuss how totally sweet it will be to have Mattis in charge.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

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5 ways troops go to the bathroom while in field

Everyone has to hit the head (bathroom) at least a few times a day (if you don’t, you should probably consult with a doctor ASAP). For troops in the field, using the restroom might not always be as easy as just visiting the nearest toilet.

In fact, some forward-deployed troops don’t even have access to running water, so flushing their waste away through a series of pipes would simply be impractical.


So, how do troops make a number one or two while in the field? Well, keep reading and be slightly amazed!

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

“Piss pipes”

This might sound like some new way to smoke tobacco, but it’s far, far from it. These public urinals are constructed from large pipes that are halfway buried. This way, all the human pee collects several feet underground instead of pooling on the surface.

Cat holes

You know how cats sometimes burr small holes in the kitty litter before dropping the payload? Well, the military adapted that idea when it comes to human waste disposal and created what are known, aptly, as “cat holes.”

According to field manuals, proper cat holes are 12-inches long, 12-inches wide, and 12-inches deep. This method of waste disposal is meant to be temporary and quickly covered up if a squad needs to get on the move.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

WAG Bags

Have you ever made brown in a Ziploc bag? Well, if you have, that’s exactly what it’s like taking a dump in a WAG bag — except this one has a bunch of biodegradable odor neutralizers inside.

Since holding a WAG bag open while taking care of business isn’t easy, use some sort of container (like a bucket) to keep the bag open.

Straddle trenches

Remember the cat hole we talked about earlier, and how they’re made for temporary use? Well, the straddle trenches are like that — only permanent. To properly use the straddle trench, squat over the rectangular hole and release.

According to Army regulations, the trenches are supposed to be 1-foot wide, 2 1/2-feet deep, and 4-feet long.

U.S. Army

Porta-Johns

Yes, we have “Porta-sh*tters” located on the frontlines. For the most part, they’re located on the larger FOBs. To keep these maintained, allied forces pay local employees who live nearby to pump the human discharge out of the poop reservoirs.

Articles

The 7 most bizarre foreign military uniforms

Sure, each nation has its own style. But some militaries have introduced dress uniforms so surprising, they’d stop you in your tracks if you saw them in person.


1. French Foreign Legion Pioneers

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Davric

This engineering unit works like America’s sappers, clearing the way through enemy obstacles so other forces can attack behind them. In their dress uniforms, the pioneers carry ceremonial axes and wear large, leather aprons.

2. Greek Evzones

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Robin

These light infantry soldiers are a primarily ceremonial unit whose members are pulled from the standard army’s infantry, artillery, and armored corps. The uniform they wear harkens back to the klephts, anti-Ottoman insurgents who fought for Greek independence from the 1400s to 1800s.

3. India Border Security Force

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Daniel Haupstein

Formed in response to a failure by the State Armed Police to prevent incursions by Pakistan during the Indo-Pakistani War of 1965, this young force has grown from a few battalions to over 186 battalions in its 50 years. The headdress is surprising to many visitors to the country, but it’s a common uniform item in the Indian military. Like the U.S. military’s berets, different colors and patterns of headdress indicate different units.

4. India Border Security Force, Camel Contingent

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Jared Wiltshire

India’s BSF is tasked with guarding a desert border with Pakistan, and so they have camel units which operate in sensitive areas. The camel contingent wears a separate uniform from the rest of the BSF and bedecks its camels in colorful harnesses.

4. Fiji’s Presidential Guard

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Jared Wiltshire

The sulu is a skirt that is part of Fiji’s national dress, but it can still be surprising for tourists the first time they see ceremonial guards wearing it.

5. Mongolian Army

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Dr Victor von Doom

The uniforms are meant to harken back to the days of the Mongol Empire, as is the white staff with yak hair. The staffs are called tug banners and are white during times of peace, black during times of war. Large processions like this are typically done before Nadaam, the Mongolian independence celebration.

6. South Korean Royal Guard

In 1996, the guards at the main palace of South Korea, Gyeongbokgung, reenacted the changing of the guard conducted during ancient times. The display was popular, so the guard unit protecting the palace has conducted the ceremony for tourists ever since, continuing to wear traditional clothing and carrying traditional weapons throughout the ceremony and their guard shift.

7. The Vatican Swiss Guard

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Paul Ronga

The famed guards of the Vatican are partially known for their bright uniforms. Each uniform weighs 8 pounds and consists of 154 pieces before you count both the traditional and modern weaponry they carry. The uniform was redesigned in 1914, but it was created to match the uniforms the unit wore in the 1500s when they were formed.

NOW: The 7 best ways to prove your ‘sham shield’

OR: 5 signs you’ve been in the barracks way too long

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7 canceled weapons that you’ll wish were standard issue

Thousands of whiteboards owned by inventors and military contractors around the world contain designs for military technologies that could change the way that battles are fought if they’d ever see active service.


But as the U.S. military learns time and time again, these weapons don’t always work as well as hoped. Here are seven designs that would be awesome to fly, ride, or carry into battle if designers had just been able to work the kinks out:

1. XM29

 

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
(Photo: U.S. Army)

While the M4 and M16 are fine weapons, the Army has tried to replace it a few times. Its sexiest candidate was definitely the Objective Individual Combat Weapon, a rifle and airburst grenade launcher hybrid that could be fired around corners. The airburst rounds were programmed to fly customized distances before exploding.

But high costs and weight problems kept the weapon from reaching its potential.

2. XM25

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
(Photo: U.S. Army)

When the XM29 was canceled, its airburst grenade technology was split off as its own weapon with 25mm rounds in the XM25. The new weapon even saw combat tests in Afghanistan, but a malfunction that resulted in injury in 2013 caused the grenade launcher to be pulled from theater.

The XM25 is technically still in testing, but the program has been basically shuttered since the safety incidents. A recent inspector general report urged the Army to come to a final decision soon and said that the funds required for the XM25 could be put to better use if the program is canceled.

Would’ve been nice to fire airburst rounds though.

3. Comanche

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A RAH-66 Comanche prototype flies with an AH-64 Apache. (Photo: U.S. Army)

The Comanche was supposed to be the attack/reconnaissance helicopter to rule them all. It was quiet, featured incorporated stealth technologies, and carried a 20mm machine gun and Hellfire and Stinger missiles.

But the development process dragged on for far too long. A 1991 contract netted two prototypes in 2004, by which time the Army had put stealth helicopters on the back shelf while they hunted insurgents.

4. Arapaho

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
(Photo: U.S. Army Office of the Chief of Public Affairs)

The ARH-70A Arapaho was supposed to replace the Kiowa in the reconnaissance business after the Comanche was canceled. It was a Bell 407 helicopter with a stronger engine, weapons, and sensors added. They could have been rapidly deployed around the world with two fitting aboard a C-130H Hercules transport.

And their high maneuverability would have allowed them to fly through cities and hover near buildings.

Unfortunately, the militarization of the 407 was not as smooth as anticipated. Delays and cost overruns got the program put on ice for a few months in 2007 and formally canceled in 2008.

5. Airborne Laser

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The YAL Airborne Laser Testbed’s turret assembly. (Photo: YouTube)

The Airborne Laser was supposed to be the ultimate ballistic missile destroyer. It would fly over or near enemy territory watching for enemy ballistic missile launches. When one took off and entered the boost phase, the plane would fire three lasers. Two were for acquiring and tracking the target and the third would punch through the missile’s body and blow it up.

But the laser had a limited range and loitering capability, meaning that planes would have to spend a lot of their time flying within an enemies’ borders to actually have a shot at the missiles. Luckily, this program could get revived using a new kind of laser and flying on high-altitude, stealthy drones.

6. Expeditionary Fighting Vehicle

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(Photo: U.S. Marine Corps)

The Expeditionary Fighting Vehicle provided better range, better speed, and better armor than the AAV-7 Amphibious Assault Vehicle it was meant to replace. It featured two 30mm cannons and was propelled through water with jets and it operated on land using its treads.

The EFV suffered some small setbacks during testing and development and then fell victim to budget cuts across the Department of Defense in 2011. The Marine Corps has wrestled with how to best move supplies and Marines from the ships to the shore since then.

7. SL-AMRAAM

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An AMRAAM-Extended Range missile is fired from a NASAMS launcher. The missile successfully engaged and destroyed a target drone during a flight test at the Andoya Space Center in Norway. (Photo: courtesy Raytheon Company)

The Surfaced-Launched Advanced Medium Range Air-to-Air Missile would have been the Army’s premiere system for defending troops from cruise missiles, helicopters, many jets, and other low and mid-altitude aerial threats. It featured a proven Air Force missile, the AIM-120C-7, originally designed for air-to-air battles.

Norway and Spain field the SL-AMRAAM under the name NASAMS, but the U.S. Army pulled out of the program in an effort to save money and invest in counter-rocket, artillery, and mortar systems instead. Some NASAMS are in U.S. service defending Washington D.C. from cruise missile attack.

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7 gin cocktails to revive your ‘Dunkirk Spirit’

“Dunkirk Spirit” is a phrase spoken in the United Kingdom when discussing that certain ability to press through harrowing circumstances with a gritty determination and a matching grin, inspired by the Allies who came together in Dunkirk during World War II.


More importantly, it’s also the name of a particular brand of gin.

We like any excuse to drink, but this brand also gives back to veterans.

Since it’s gin, we decided to get a little fancy — and you should, too. Try one of these cocktails and let us know what you think:

1. The Dunkirk 75

This comes straight from Dunkirk Spirit themselves, and is a winning version of a French 75, if you ask me.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Dunkirk Spirits puts their delicious twist on the French 75.

2. Dunkirk GT

Dunkirk Spirit’s® own Dunkirk GT is a classic gin and tonic, which, according to Winston Churchill, “saved more Englishman’s lives, and minds, than all the doctors in the empire.”

I don’t know about all that, but I do know you need to have one if you’ve never tried it.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
The gin is the star of the show here, but make sure your tonic water is fine.

3. The Barrel Roll

Dunkirk Spirit® fashioned this tipple while imagining the WWII spitfire airplane barrel rolling. We approve of the barrel rolling.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

4. Dunkirk Martini

Another Dunkirk Spirit® concoction, the Dunkirk Martini is not for communists. If you’re looking for the Churchill, leave the Vermouth and take the gin.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

5. The Gunny St. Angel

The cooling Gunny St. Angel was sent to us by Rose St. Angel out of Atlanta, GA. An otherwise simple recipe, the muddled cucumber will be the most work.

Peeled and quartered, drop your cucumber and mint into your glass and smash it up. Carry on.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
For those with an aversion to mint, try basil!

6. The D.I. Collins

If you MUST order this from a bar as opposed to making your own at home, feel free to call it the D.I. Collins, and then just smirk when the bartender asks what that is.

*Kidding. Don’t smirk at bartenders. Rude.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
What you’d get if old Tom Collins joined the military.

7. NCO’s Canteen Cup

The classic Pimm’s Cup is made better with the NCO’s Canteen Cup. How? It’s got extra gin.

Pimm’s is a gin-based liquor, so a Pimm’s cup generally doesn’t have gin added to it. But go big or go home. Or just reduce the amount of Pimm’s to one ounce.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Pimm’s No. 1 is a gin based liquor, and a Pimm’s cup doesn’t come with the extra gin. The NCO’s Canteen Cup is the perfect answer.

Lists

6 ways to be successful in the Marine infantry

The Marine Corps infantry is a place where a boots’ dreams go to die. A fresh private first class or lance corporal might arrive at the Fleet Marine Force with loads of ambition only to have it ripped to shreds as the stark realization that they might never reach the rank of Corporal sinks in.


Today, we offer advice for lower-enlisted Infantry Marines on how to succeed in everyday tasks — the rank will come soon enough.

Related: The fascinating beginning of the term ‘grunt’

Keep in mind the following 6 ways to be successful in the Marine infantry:

6. Get a haircut.

Yes, we know this one is difficult when you’re out of range of the barber for weeks at a time, but when you finally can get a haircut, get something respectable that won’t result in an ass-chewing from your platoon sergeant.

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This is only acceptable if it grows during a field op. (Image via Terminal Lance)

5. Keep a clean uniform for garrison.

Higher-ups will preach until the day of their retirement that there is no such thing as “field cammies,” but grunts know otherwise — have a uniform set aside for when you’re in the rear that is always clean.

Likewise, make sure that the uniforms you have for the field and deployments are as clean and pristine as possible, but don’t worry about keeping them that way.

4. Know yourself and seek self-improvement.

This is one of the 7 Marine Corps leadership principles, but it applies to all areas Marine infantry. Know your faults and always work towards improving them.

3. Train in your off-time.

This one goes with point #4. Once you recognize your deficiencies, train in your off-time to fix them. If you’re not the strongest grunt, go to the gym. If you’re feeling underread, pick up a book.

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Never stop training. (Image via Marines.mil)

2. Stay humble.

Just as you should never stop learning your trade, never see yourself as the best. Don’t believe you’re done improving because you’re not — and you never will be. Even after you’ve been praised and earned awards, maintain some humility. Be confident, but don’t be arrogant.

Also read: 9 ways not to get treated like a complete boot in the infantry

1. Always be a student.

Never stop learning your trade. When you’re bored at Camp Wilson or on a ship somewhere, read a book about Marines who have been there and done that.

Check out the commandant’s reading list — you might find something you’ll learn a lot from.

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Don’t worry, there will be time to read. (Image via Daily Mail)

Lists

The most ridiculous weapons ever designed

From homemade tanks to nuclear landmines kept warm by chickens, war brings out the engineers in people. When a weapons system works, it’s made by the thousands, and sometimes used for decades. But when it doesn’t, it’s quickly added to the dustbin of bad ideas. Many of these ridiculous, odd, and exceptionally weird weapons were developed by militaries all over the world, but either proved impractical or were canceled before production.


The Most Ridiculous (Real) Weapons Used Throughout History

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NOW: The 7 weirdest nuclear weapons ever developed

Lists

7 painful things that are better than getting OC sprayed

OC qualifying is one of the most dreaded requirements in the military. Occasionally, you’ll run into some people who will try to act tough by saying that OC qualifying isn’t so bad but they’re lying. It is that bad.

Certain ranks in the military require that the troop first experience the pain of oleoresin capsicum (OC) spray. For the same reasons one might opt to experience the pain of a taser, the aim here is for the person carrying such a tool to understand how it feels so they think twice before using it.


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At least the pain won’t last very long…

Giphy

Getting kicked in the family jewels

This is extremely painful for any man to experience — but it’s still not as bad as getting pepper sprayed and then subsequently having to fight people and do workouts afterward.

Getting a toenail removed without lidocaine

Granted, any type of procedure is going to be painful without a sedative, but no matter how painful that procedure is, it’s still not as bad as taking pepper spray to the face.

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Once you get some fresh air, you’ll be just fine.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Corporal Ashley Lawson)

CS gas qualification

This is probably the worst part of boot camp — getting put into a bunker filled with tear gas then being forced to pull the mask off your face. If you’ve got lungs of steel, no problem, just hold your breath. But, if you take the smallest breath, your entire respiratory system is going to be on fire. Even still, pepper spray is much worse.

MARSOC screener

This one will likely stir some debate, but let’s be real: At the end of a MARSOC screener, even if you don’t get picked, there’s the gratification of having completed some of the most grueling preliminary testing the military has to offer. At the end of OC qualification, you’re just in pain.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

Some may prefer OC spray over getting tasered but they’re probably crazy.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Corporal Christian Robertson)

Taser qualification

People who have done both taser and OC qualification will debate this all day. You’ll hear some may say they’d rather get tasered ten times than be sprayed once and vice versa. The truth, however, is that with tasers, the pain ends when the trigger is released. With OC, the pain lingers long after you complete training.

Helo dunker

Training for a helicopter crash in water is fun for some, but a lot of people hate it. For those who don’t know, what happens is you get strapped into a simulated helicopter, which then gets dropped in a pool, submerged, and flipped upside down.

Your goal is to escape the grips of death and resurface. Once you get out of the helicopter, you’re done — that’s it.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

This one might not be worth it in the end, though…

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Staff Sgt. Dengrier M. Baez)

Reenlisting

The most commonly despised word across the military is “reenlistment.” While the option to reenlist is not exciting, some might even choose it over getting pepper sprayed again.

Articles

8 reasons the new guy always gets caught when he screws up

Screwing up in the military is a given. Sometimes a person is just trying to sham, sometimes they get drunk at the wrong time, and occasionally they even make an honest mistake. Service members who have been in a while know how to avoid getting caught. New guys are making these eight mistakes.


1. Bad risk management

Leaders do composite risk management for missions. Smart shammers do CRM for everything else. Every entry on this list can be chalked up to a failure of composite risk management. Shamming during work? Plan on how to avoid snitchs’ eyes. Headed off base to get plastered? Plan for how to get to a recall formation.

2. New guys are too stupid to play dumb

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

Privates like to seem like they have it all together. This is huge mistake. Sergeants love taking a soldier under their wing and “teaching” them things. When they play dumb, their mistake will become a “teachable moment” instead of a counseling statement.

“Private! Why weren’t you at PT formation?”

“Sergeant, I got lost and couldn’t use my cell phone to call you because I was in uniform.”

“Couldn’t use your cell –? Oh. No. You can use it. You just can’t walk and talk, private. Here, I’ll explain …”

3. They don’t think of good cover stories

Most of the time, new guys will get through shenanigans without seeing a single senior noncommissioned officer, but too many new guys fail to prepare a cover story to throw leaders off the scent, just in case. The cover story should match the environment. For instance, smart soldiers bring plastic bags when shamming in the motor pool. If caught , they just say: “Well, my sergeant sent me to get an exhaust sample in this bag from truck ID-10-T, but I can’t find that bumper number anywhere.” Again, new guys get to play dumb.

4. They don’t get organized

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

The reason old hands in the barracks are more organized than new guys has nothing to do with inspections. It’s because they need their stuff handy when they screw up. If they’re getting drunk while there’s a chance first sergeant will call everyone in, they’re prepared to rapidly brush their teeth, put on a uniform, get to formation, and be dress-right-dress by the time the squad leader starts taking accountability. Less organized troops would still be hazily looking for their uniform top and boots.

5. New guys don’t work as a team

New guys try to get away with stuff by hiding all the evidence from everyone, rather than selecting members of their squad and platoon they can trust to help them in a crisis. Instead of shamming alone, smart troops designate roles to each other. For smoking in the woods while assigned to a cleanup detail, two people should be in charge of collecting cigarettes and dropping them in an energy drink can, two people should be in charge of immediately looking at the ground like they’re hunting for trash, and someone should be standing lookout.

6. Failure to stage supplies

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Photo: US Army

That can in number 5 and the trash bag in number 2 don’t magically happen. They’re staged supplies. Electric razors can be placed in cars for use while driving to a recall formation, military publications can be opened to make it look like someone is studying doctrine rather than sleeping, and cans of dip are handy for bribing squad leaders.

7. They need better escape routes

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Photo by: US Army

Never slack off in an area with only one exit. Always be prepared to make a quick exit on an unexpected route.

7. They don’t get representation in the Terminal Lance Underground/E-4 Mafia

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames

Different services have different versions of the junior enlisted league, but everyone should join theirs. The sergeants and petty officers of the world are working together to catch the junior enlisted, the junior enlisted must band together in defense. New guys don’t always have an advocate in one of these fine organizations to help them distract NCOs, lose files, or text them ahead of a crisis. They should get one.

8. They forget to stand at parade rest

Seriously, do it every time. Parade rest is like stealth camouflage for privates. Troops should stand at parade rest every chance they get. It makes NCOs think they’re too afraid to break the rules.

NOW: The 9 best items deployed troops use instead of cash

OR: 23 terms only US Marines will understand

Articles

The 5 craziest ideas the British had for battling German subs

Whenever a new weapon sees widespread deployment, all the rules get rewritten. The draft version of the new rules can be a bit strange though. Here are five crazy ways Britain thought it might get a handle on Germany’s U-Boats in World War I.


1. Training seagulls to sh-t on the periscopes

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Photo: Wikipedia/Sanchezn

There is no explanation of how the seagulls would be trained to do this. Admiral Sir Frederick Inglefield, head of all “motor-boat patrols” (discussed below), believed seagulls would defecate on submarine periscopes if properly trained. The blinded submarines would then be forced to surface or attempt to escape the harbor.

2. Hammers and bags

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Photo: Wikipedia

The British tried to stop the submarine menace with a “motor-boat patrol.” There were hundreds of these boats, each with at least two crew members. The boats would patrol designated areas near the coast looking for periscopes. But only 1 in 10 was armed.

So, if the crew spotted a periscope, they were supposed to sneak as close to it as they could in the boat and then swim the rest of the way. One man would take a canvas bag and pop it over the periscope while the other would swing a hammer as hard as he could to break the periscope.

3. Meeting submarines under the surface with top notch swimmers and sharp hammers

There’s no record of the British ever attempting this method, but someone proposed the Royal Navy select some especially strong swimmers. When a submarine was spotted these swimmers could swim to the hull and attempt to hit it with a pointed hammer, piercing its hull and sending it down.

4. Training birds and sea lions to watch for periscopes

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Tony Hisgett

In an effort to more quickly identify submarines working near British and Allied shipping, the British Navy attempted to train seagulls and sea lions to chase periscopes. The training was done by creating dummy periscopes that dispensed food.

Seagulls were trained in the open ocean while sea lions from British music-halls and circuses were trained in tanks.

5. Covering the ocean in paint

This was supposed to work in two ways. First, any submarine that raised its periscope while the ocean was covered in paint would be blinded as the paint covered the periscope glass. Second, the paint was generally green which may confuse the submarine captain as to what depth he was cruising at, possibly causing him to move higher in the water which would expose his hull.

Artillery on the shore or motor boat patrols could then target the blind, exposed U-boat. While this tactic was proposed to the Royal Navy, it’s not clear that they ever attempted it. This could be because they didn’t have enough green paint to cover the surface Great Britain’s 19,491 miles of coastline.

 (h/t David A. H. Wilson, Cumbria Institute of the Arts, United Kingdom)

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Articles

9 photos that show how the Coast Guard fights fires at sea

Fire trucks can’t reach too far past the coast, and plenty of fires break out on ships and oil platforms off American shores. When the fires happen in America’s territorial waters, it often falls to America’s Coast Guard to rescue the survivors and fight the flames.


Here are nine photos of the Coast Guard protecting lives and property by acting as firefighters at sea:

1. The Coast Guard fights fires in their areas of operations. Everything from small boats like this one …

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Fishing vessel Bigger Dirls on fire in Hopkins Point Marina in Jonesport, Maine on Thursday, Sept. 9, 2016. No one was aboard at the time. (U.S. Coast Guard photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Stephanie Horvat)

2. …to huge fires like the one that destroyed the Deepwater Horizon.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
Fire boat response crews battle the blazing remnants of the offshore oil rig Deepwater Horizon. A Coast Guard MH-65C dolphin rescue helicopter and crew documented the fire while searching for survivors. Multiple Coast Guard helicopters, planes, and cutters responded to rescue the Deepwater Horizon’s 126-person crew. (Photo: U.S. Coast Guard)

3. For smaller fires, it’s often enough to pump water onto them, and the Coast Guard is lucky that plenty of salt water is usually available.

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Coast Guard Petty Officer 3rd Class Cory Langston fights the boat fire from the Coast Guard 29-foot response boat in Hopkins Point Marina in Jonesport, Maine on Thursday, Sept. 8, 2016. The was no one aboard at the time of the fire. (U.S. Coast Guard photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Stephanie Horvat)

4. What’s unlucky is that it will often take Coast Guardsmen time to reach the crisis, and it’s their job to rescue survivors. For instance, they pulled four fishermen and a dog from this ship after it exploded.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
U.S. Coast Guard crews rescued four fisherman Thursday after their vessel caught fire and exploded near St. Simons Island Sound. A Coast Guard 45-foot Response Boat—Medium crew from Station Brunswick located and rescued the crew and their dog from the 58-foot fishing vessel Predator. (Photo: U.S. Coast Guard Station Brunswick video)

5. Rescue operations are relatively simple for small vessels, but it takes a lot of planning to be able to rescue people from large ferries, cruise vessels, or industrial ships.

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A Coast Guard Station San Juan crewmember monitors passengers using the marine escape system from the 561-foot Caribbean Fantasy ferry vessel a mile from San Juan Harbor, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Wednesday, Aug. 17, 2016. The Coast Guard received initial notification around 7:40 a.m. that the ferry was on fire. (U.S. Coast Guard photo courtesy of Station San Juan, Puerto Rico.)

6. Sometimes, the Coast Guard asks for help from nearby, civilian vessels that are commonly known as “good Samaritans.” These vessels assist with rescue, firefighting, and recovery operations.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
A local San Juan, Puerto Rico-based tug crew use a fire hose to cool the hull of the 561-foot Caribbean Fantasy ferry vessel that caught fire earlier a mile from San Juan Harbor, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Wednesday, Aug. 17, 2016. The Caribbean Fantasy’s engine room caught fire, which began to spread to other compartments forcing passengers and crew to abandon the ferry vessel. (U.S. Coast Guard photo courtesy of Station San Juan, Puerto Rico.)

7. Good Samaritan vehicles can even assist with larger operations, like the extinguishing of this oil platform fire.

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Four offshore supply vessels extinguish a fire on an oil production platform fire near Grand Isle, Louisiana, Jan. 5, 2017. There were four people aboard the platform who evacuated into the water and were recovered by the offshore supply vessel Mary Wyatt Milano. There were no reported injuries. (Coast Guard imagery courtesy of Coast Guard Aviation Training Center Mobile)

8. The Coast Guard still maintains oversight and supervises the efforts.

9 military badasses with awesome nicknames
More imagery from the fire on an oil production platform fire near Grand Isle, Louisiana, Jan. 5, 2017. (Coast Guard imagery courtesy of Coast Guard Aviation Training Center Mobile)

9. When the fire is near other ships or structures, the Coast Guard takes steps to control the burning vessel, preventing it from drifting and catching other vessels on fire.

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A Coast Guard Auxiliary crewmember maintains positive control of a flame-engulfed pleasure craft near Great Neck Creek in Copiague, New York, April 30, 2016. The Copiague Fire Department assisted the Coast Guard Auxiliary crew and extinguished the fire onboard the vessel. (U.S. Coast Guard Photo)

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