24 jobs you didn't know the US military had - We Are The Mighty
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24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

From special operations weathermen to musicians and DJs, there plenty of jobs in the military that seem like they don’t belong. Some are essential, while others just make life better for troops and their families. Here are 24 of the most unexpected careers a recruit can choose.


1. Business Manager (Navy)

Sailors on ship want to rent videos and buy Pringles like everyone else, but the Navy doesn’t have convenience stores staffed by civilians out at sea. Instead, they have sailors whose job it is to run the vending machines, small shops, and rental booths that offer services on ships underway.

2. Community Services (Marine Corps)

Similar to the Navy’s business managers, Community Services Marines manage retail services for the Marine Corps. Also, they conduct some of the morale, welfare, and recreation activities for the Corps.

3. Corrections Specialist (Marine Corps, Army)

The military actually has its own fairly robust prison system. Just like their civilian counterparts, military correctional specialists supervise the prison population. Inmates can be prisoners of war or American personnel accused or convicted of a crime.

4. Cryogenics Equipment Operator (Marine Corps, Air Force, Navy)

No, they’re not keeping Chesty Puller’s body ready to thaw for the next big war. Cryogenics, though typically associated with keeping bodies on ice, refers to the production and behavior of materials at very low temperatures. The Marine Corps and other services use this technology to safely store oxygen for pilots’ tanks and nitrogen for planes’ tires.

5. Cyber warriors (Air Force, Navy, Army)

These guys specialize in defending U.S. military networks against a constant barrage of cyberattacks. They also conduct counter-attacks when called to do so. To see just how hard their job can be, check out this live map of suspected cyber attacks around the world.

6. Dietitian (Air Force, Army)

Military dietitians create diet plans based on mission requirements, available resources, and service member needs. Yeah, it’s all in the name.

7. Entomologist (Army, Air Force, Navy)

Bugs can be a major threat to military operations and it’s the job of military entomologists to take care of it. They seek out evidence of infestations and combat them. They can order pesticides and traps, introduce an insect’s main predator, or cover troops in delousing powder.

8. Financial Manager (Army, Air Force, Marine Corps)

Financial managers supervise the purchase of the military branches’ equipment and supplies. They cut the checks for MREs, plan how much money to save for potential conflicts, and track grants given to friendly militaries.

9. Geneticist (Air Force)

The Air Force runs the only full-service genetics laboratory in the Department of Defense, so they need geneticists to staff it. They provide counseling to families with genetic diseases such as cancer, and in some cases, conduct neonatal care or other procedures for patients who need it.

10. Journalists (Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force)

Many of the images and videos of military operations are taken by service members assigned to public affairs and combat camera units. The Navy combined most of its photographer and videographer jobs into one rating, while other services still allow troops to specialize. Specialties include combat camera — the military term for photographer — print journalists, who concentrate on writing articles for base newspapers and/or web stories, and broadcast journalists, which shoot and edit video, and serve as DJs.

11. Instrument repair technician (Marine Corps, Army)

The military has some great bands with lots of instruments that need constant upkeep. The Army and Marine Corps have troops with the primary occupation of repairing musical instruments.

12. Multimedia Illustrator (Army)

Army multimedia illustrators support the creation of military publications as well as civil affairs and psychological operations. These are skilled artists who — you guessed it — spend a lot of time drawing.

13. Musician (Marine Corps, Army, Air Force, Navy)

The military branches have a surprising number of bands. Most major commands have at least a small band that plays at special functions. While many of these musicians are service members temporarily assigned to a band, some are actually recruited into the service as a musician. They travel the world playing for both American and foreign audiences.

14. Nuclear Reactor Engineer (Navy)

Yes, these sailors spend all day working on or with nuclear reactors. Reactors are used to power all of the Navy’s active carriers and submarines, and their safe operation depends on vigilant and capable operators. The title of nuclear reactor engineer only goes to the commissioned officers, but there is an enlisted version of the job.

15. Packaging specialist (Marine Corps)

Ammunition, weapons, chemicals, the military packs and ships a lot of dangerous items. In order to ensure everything is packed legally and safely, some Marines specialize in packing materials for shipment.

16. Pediatrician (Army, Air Force, Navy)

An army pediatrician, one of the many surprising military jobs

The military provides doctors for its service members and their families, and that includes the kids. Pediatricians do the same job in the military that they do in a civilian hospital, though they can also be deployed worldwide to support humanitarian missions.

17. Water Support Technician (Army, Marine Corps)

Water from rivers can be very gross, and it can be even worse after Army and Marine personnel use it. To treat water both before and after troops use it, the Army and Marine Corps have personnel assigned to testing and treating water.

18. Postal clerk (MC)

This job used to be present in every service, but the other branches have combined the job into other supply positions. Marine Corps postal clerks ensure that U.S. postal laws are followed and that Marines’ mail flows quickly into and out of the civilian postal system.

19. Quarrying Specialist (Army)

Part of the Army’s engineer corps, quarrying specialists blast rocks with explosives and assist in the construction of bridges, dams, buildings, roads, and air strips.

20. Railway equipment repairer (Army)

The Army moves a lot of equipment by rail, but sometimes the railroads in an area of operations have been damaged or destroyed. Since the Civil War, the Army has fielded units to repair rails and operate the trains on them.

21. Refrigeration/Air conditioning technician (Marine Corps, Air Force)

The Air Force has airmen trained as standard HVAC technicians. The Marine Corps version is a little different with some Marines being trained in refrigeration and air conditioning while others handle heating systems. In either case, these service members are the ones called when the desert is too hot or the mountains are too cold.

22. Shower/Laundry and Clothing Repair Specialist (Army)

Like the HVAC technicians, these service members try to make deployed life just a little more comfortable. Soldiers in this job set up and operate deployed showers, laundry facilities, and repair damaged uniforms.

23. Veterinarian (Army)

While all the services employ working dogs, the Marine Corps trains on horses, and the Navy uses dolphins and sea lions. The Army provides veterinarians for all of these programs. Though they’re Army officers, these veterinarians are tasked out to support every branch.

24. Weather Specialist (Air Force, Navy)

Weather specialists track weather patterns and advise commanders on how it will affect operations. These guys can get insanely exact, giving a near-exact time a dust storm will shut down an airfield or a typhoon will strike a carrier group. The Air Force has both conventional operations weather specialists and special operations weather team specialists.

Lists

5 military drills that’ll blow your mind

Military drills for service members is what training camp is for football players and their coaches — learning the playbook on how to maneuver and react to intense combat situations when seconds count and delay is deadly.


Most militaries do the standard maneuvers — target practice on the range, moving through a MOUT town or repelling out of a helicopter on a mock objective. But some countries prefer to go all out to show their toughness.

So here are five dangerous military drills conducted throughout the world.

Related: Here’s what it takes to be on the Marine silent drill team

 

1.  Biting off the head of a live chicken

Each year in Thailand, seven countries partake in the multinational military exercise called “Cobra Gold.” Held in February, this 11-day training includes 13,000 troops from countries like Japan, South Korea, and the U.S.

A soldier biting off the head of a chicken, one of many crazy military drills
A Marine bites off the head of a live chicken.

Cobra Gold promotes foreign military collaboration with events such as humanitarian relief, amphibious assault, and jungle survival. And sometimes that means making use of the wild game that calls the jungle home.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
A Marine drinks the blood of a venomous King Cobra. This right of passage is said to have many nutritional benefits.

2. Body Smashing 

North Korean special forces candidates endure several body-hardening workouts to prove their physical and mental toughness to become members of the “Storm Corps.”

 

3.  The Road to Heaven

The finale of a 10-week pain-filled training program where Taiwanese Marines strive to become frogmen is called the “Road to Heaven.” This initiation consists of low-crawling over 164 feet of sharp rock coral without the use of their arms while conducting various calisthenics along the way.

4. Drown Proofing– a panic-inducing military drill

SEAL trainees must learn to survive in complex water scenarios without sinking or drowning with their hands and feet bounded together. Considered the most grueling training the armed forces has to offer, hopefuls endure days of physically demanding training to become Navy SEALs.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
WARNING: Don’t try this at home!

5.    Hot Potato

Soldiers of the Chinese People’s Liberation Army pass around a live grenade before tossing it into a hole. The PLA troopers simultaneously leap away in the nick of time. This drill was created to promote discipline, communication, and teamwork.

See some more military drills that take things a bit too far below!

Articles

The 13 Funniest Military Memes Of The Week

It’s Friday, so that’s good. But it’s three weeks since the military’s last pay day and we all know you’re staying in the barracks this weekend. While you’re crunching on your fast food and waiting for your video games to load, check out these 13 military memes.


Real guns are super heavy.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
The assistant gunner has to carry 300 extra rounds, nearly a pound of weight.

It’s guaranteed that this was a profile pic.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

Maybe if we just taxi it near the maintenance chief really slowly, he’ll tell us if it’s okay.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
That’s why pilots just fly the d*mn thing.

 Don’t use flashbangs near the uninitiated.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

Coast Guard couldn’t make it. They were super busy helping the TSA foil terrorists.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
The soldier can brag about that pushup if he wants, but it won’t count with his feet that far apart.

Just salute, better to be laughed at than shark attacked.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
But really, why does an anchor outrank a crow? Navy Ranks are weird.

But hey, at least they don’t have to wear PT Belts.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Both groups also get into adorable shenanigans while everyone is working.

 Be afraid, be very afraid.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
It’s all fun until she takes away your breath with a Ka-Bar through the ribs.

That’s why they have planes.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
You don’t need to run when you can project force from those comfy chairs.

Notice the National Guard sticker on the cabinet?

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
You’re going in well after the Marines. Judging by that recruiter’s lack of a deployment patch, you might never go.

Whatever, the Marine is the only one working right now.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
He’s collecting intelligence. VERY detailed intelligence.

The sweet, sweet purr of the warthog

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
BRRRR is just how they clear phlegm from their throat and enemy fighters from the ground.

You start off motivated …

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Just wait until you leave the retention office and realize you re-upped.

NOW: The Nazis had insane ‘superweapon’ ideas that were way ahead of their time

OR: Check out 13 more funniest memes of the week

Lists

6 ways to be successful in the Marine infantry

The Marine Corps infantry is a place where a boots’ dreams go to die. A fresh private first class or lance corporal might arrive at the Fleet Marine Force with loads of ambition only to have it ripped to shreds as the stark realization that they might never reach the rank of Corporal sinks in.


Today, we offer advice for lower-enlisted Infantry Marines on how to succeed in everyday tasks — the rank will come soon enough.

Related: The fascinating beginning of the term ‘grunt’

Keep in mind the following 6 ways to be successful in the Marine infantry:

6. Get a haircut.

Yes, we know this one is difficult when you’re out of range of the barber for weeks at a time, but when you finally can get a haircut, get something respectable that won’t result in an ass-chewing from your platoon sergeant.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
This is only acceptable if it grows during a field op. (Image via Terminal Lance)

5. Keep a clean uniform for garrison.

Higher-ups will preach until the day of their retirement that there is no such thing as “field cammies,” but grunts know otherwise — have a uniform set aside for when you’re in the rear that is always clean.

Likewise, make sure that the uniforms you have for the field and deployments are as clean and pristine as possible, but don’t worry about keeping them that way.

4. Know yourself and seek self-improvement.

This is one of the 7 Marine Corps leadership principles, but it applies to all areas Marine infantry. Know your faults and always work towards improving them.

3. Train in your off-time.

This one goes with point #4. Once you recognize your deficiencies, train in your off-time to fix them. If you’re not the strongest grunt, go to the gym. If you’re feeling underread, pick up a book.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Never stop training. (Image via Marines.mil)

2. Stay humble.

Just as you should never stop learning your trade, never see yourself as the best. Don’t believe you’re done improving because you’re not — and you never will be. Even after you’ve been praised and earned awards, maintain some humility. Be confident, but don’t be arrogant.

Also read: 9 ways not to get treated like a complete boot in the infantry

1. Always be a student.

Never stop learning your trade. When you’re bored at Camp Wilson or on a ship somewhere, read a book about Marines who have been there and done that.

Check out the commandant’s reading list — you might find something you’ll learn a lot from.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Don’t worry, there will be time to read. (Image via Daily Mail)

Humor

5 things you should know before diving into a ‘contract marriage’

Scenario #1: A young service member walks into their newly assigned barracks room and notices how nasty it is. And on top of that, they have to share the small space with two or three other people that may or may not be very clean. The struggle is real.


Scenario #2: A service member may just have received orders to go on a 13-month deployment wants to make some cash while they’re gone.

Both of these very real circumstances of military life can be strong motivators for troops to tie the knot — and not for love.

Make money, money, money! (images via Giphy

Often called a “contract marriage,” these pairings are purely for monetary gain or medical benefits. No one is suggesting you do this versus saving your money or getting a second job if your command allows, but if you do it, keep these very important things in mind.

Related: 7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

1. He/she can turn you in

Your contract husband or wife can blow the whistle on your verbal agreement without repercussions. So you’d better keep them happy.

Oh, sh*t! Busted. (images via Giphy)

2. Adultery is illegal

In the eyes of the military, you’re legally married (imagine that). So if you get caught engaging adult activites with anyone other than your spouse, you’re on the hook sailor.

Preach! (images via Giphy)

3. If she gets pregnant by you or someone else…

You better lawyer up, get divorced or decide to take care of the little rascal to keep the added benefits. That is all.

 You don’t want your name on that birth certificate. (images via Giphy)  

4. Separation pay

In some cases, if you play your cards right, you might be eligible for separation pay.

Separation pay is when your spouse “lives” in another area for one legitimate reason or another. Think about it. (images via Giphy)

Also Read: 7 ways to prove your spouse is really a spy

5. Repayment

If you do get a divorce, the military typically won’t stop the extra pay right away. So don’t go spending all that extra cash too fast. The government will take back every cent from your paycheck until they recoup what’s theirs.

The answer is, yes. (images via Giphy)You’re welcome America!

Articles

DFAC or chow hall? Different names for the same things across the services

Civilians talk about feeling lost when vets start using military lingo, but even vets can get lost when talking to members from other services. Here are 8 things that are common between the branches but with wildly different names:


1. DFAC, chow hall, or galley?

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Jeffry A. Willadsen

Basically, it’s the cafeteria. While the Army and Air Force both officially use the term DFAC, or dining facility, most soldiers and Marines refer to it as the “chow hall.” In the Navy, it’s the galley. All services employ “cooks” in the kitchen. In the Army, the soldiers tasked to help the cooks are KP, kitchen patrol. In the Navy, cooks are assisted by “cranks.”

2. Article 15, ninja punch, captain’s mast

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Eric Dietrich

There are a lot of ways to get in trouble in the military, and the services have plenty of ways to describe it. While soldiers and airmen typically refer to Article 15s and nonjudicial punishment, Marines may call NJP a “ninja punch.” When Sailors get in big trouble, they can face captain’s mast, an Article 15 from the commander of the ship. Admiral’s mast is one step worse. Serious infractions can result in a “big chicken dinner,” slang for a bad conduct discharge.

3. Shammers, skaters and broke d*cks

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Army Spc. Olanrewaju Akinwunmi

When a sailor or Marine wants to get out of duty, they “skate” out of it. The Army equivalent is “shamming.” For all the services, shamming or skating by claiming medical issues can get you labeled as a “broke d*ck.”

4. Flak vest or body armor

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Army

When someone is wearing all their armor and equipment, they’re in “full battle rattle.” For the Army, this means they’re wearing their body armor. While Marines are likely to be wearing the same armor, they’ll grab their “flak.” The flak vest, as seen in most Vietnam war movies, was the predecessor of modern body armor.

5. Deck vs. ground

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Army Staff Sgt. Joseph Rivera Rebolledo

While the Army and the Air Force continue to use the normal words for ground and floor, the Navy and Marine Corps train their people to use the word “deck.” For pilots, the ground is the “hard deck,” something Top Gun apparently made a mistake translating.

6. Barracks mill, private news network, or the scuttlebutt

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Army

Rumors. The Army has a bunch of privates living in the barracks where they swap rumors like a knitting circle. Hence, “barracks mill” and “private news network.” For the Navy, their sailors congregate around water fountains referred to as the scuttlebutt. Eventually, “scuttlebutt” became the word for the rumors themselves.

7. Head and latrine

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Sailors and Marines visit the head, and soldiers hit the latrine.

8. Hooah vs. Oorah vs. Hooyah

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Marine Corps Cpl. Christopher Q. Stone

The services can’t even agree on how to grunt. The Army says “Hooah,” when they want to motivate each other, or really to say anything besides, “no.” The Marines prefer “Oorah” while the Navy says “Hooyah.” (The Air Force has no equivalent.)

Lists

7 of the best sounds you’ll hear in combat

Being on a foot patrol in a war zone means you’ll need to have your eyes peeled and your ears open; troops need to be able to visually identify possible threats and hear commands and other instructions. When a firefight kicks off and bullets start to fly, things can get pretty damn hectic — and loud. In most cases, the “ground pounders” usually get a fix on the enemies’ position in a matter of minutes.


Once that happens, adrenaline kicks in and time moves a bit differently, but there are a few sounds you’ll never forget.

Related: 14 images that humorously recall your first firefight

Here are seven of the best ones:

7. When your platoon sergeant says, “Hey gents, watch this!”

At times, well-trained troops make it a game to blow up the enemy’s position. It’s also a morale booster. When the platoon sergeant wants to draw a crowd to witness their combat efforts, you know the attack is about to be freakin’ epic.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

6. The whistle of incoming ordnance

Calling in mortars on the bad guys means they weren’t sneaky enough to fire a few rounds at your position and then bug out. Once you hear the whistle of incoming ordnance, it’s just a matter of time before a mortar detonation will follow.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Boom.

5. The BRRRRT of an A-10

This is hands down one of the best sounds you can ever hear in combat. Just to know you have a tank killer flying above you makes a world of difference on a foot patrol.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Troops love that gun.

4. When the platoon passes word of a “gun run.”

After the ground troops get a fix on where the bad guys are hiding, the platoon sergeants love to call upon the efforts of their flying arsenal that patrols the skies.

A “gun run” is when an attack plane or helicopter initiates a nose dive toward a target with their heavy machine guns blazing. After they complete the “gun run,” they’ll fly back up and out of the enemy’s range. They’ll return if called upon and authorized.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
God bless the USA…and her air superiority. (U.S. Army photo by Pvt. Austin Anyzeski, 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment)

3. Silence

After all the commotion, the sound of silencing the enemy offensive is awesome. But knowing you’re still standing tall and healthy is the one best feelings ever.

We love rubbing in a victory. (Image via GIPHY)

2. When “RTB” is announced over comms

“RTB” is short for “return to base.” Hearing these words calmly spoken after a firefight means you guys did your job and it’s time to go home to debrief and eat chow.

Also Read: 6 questions you asked yourself after your first firefight

1. The “hiss” of the smoke grenade popping.

After a gunfight, most ground troops will “pop smoke” when they leave an area to give themselves cover of smoke. The hiss of the smoke grenade is an excellent way to put a mental check mark in the win column.

Lists

25 incredible photos of life on a US Navy submarine

A U.S. Navy nuclear submarine is one of the most mysterious places in which a member of the military could serve.

Armed with advanced technology and enough firepower to destroy civilizations, it’s no wonder that every sailor aboard these vessels must have a secret clearance or better.


WATM scoured the Navy’s official website and asked the sailors of the Submarine Bubblehead Brotherhood for personal pictures to come up with these 27 incredible photos of life under the sea.

Deployment starts with departing from home port…

 

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Navy

Submarine life is cramped…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Navy

Hatches are smaller than on surface vessels…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

Bubbleheads – Navy speak for submariners – go without sunlight for weeks at a time.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Navy

Sailors as young as 18 years-old drive the ship…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Navy

Seriously, even midshipmen get a turn…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo

There are no windows on a submarine; sonar technology is the eyes and ears of the crew.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo

 Submarines have some of the same amenities as surface ships…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: YouTube

… but, everything in a submarine is modified to limit noise. These are rubber shock absorbers under the treadmill…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: YouTube

It pays to keep the cook happy…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: YouTube

Submarine chow is some of the best in the Navy…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: YouTube

Swim calls on a submarine are awesome. . .

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Navy

After months in the ocean depths, a little Vitamin D (sunlight) could be just what the doctor ordered . . .

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: A. Ceglia

This is what a steel beach picnic looks like on a submarine . . .

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: Reddit

Life-long friendships are made…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: S. Southard

Shipmates become an extended family…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: J. Barton

Some things never change. This photo of sailors painting the sub was taken in the 1950s . . .

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: K. Haughton

This one was taken in 2010…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: A. Ceglia

One lesson holds true in any era: Don’t use the submarine paint to dress up like the Hulk . . .

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
According to a Reddit feed, this man in Brazil used permanent submarine paint to dress like the Hulk. After unsuccessfully trying to remove the paint, his mother came to help with industrial cleaning materials. Photo: Reddit

Submarines sometimes break through the ice to surface on the North Pole.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Navy

Santa wasn’t around for this visit, but these polar bears gave a big welcome . . .

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Navy

Many sailors become shellbacks, but few have a blue nose…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
To become a Blue Nose, a sailor must have crossed the Arctic Circle in a Navy vessel. Photo: D. Gudman

The best words a CO could ever say are, “Folks, let’s go home.”

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

And nothing beats a homecoming…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: US Navy

Nothing…

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
USS Scranton sailor, Machinist’s Mate 2nd Class Warren Jack holds his daughter for the first time after a seven-month deployment. Photo: US Navy

Articles

The 13 Funniest Military Memes Of The Week

The staff at WATM sorts through the interwebs to find you the very best military memes out there. Here are our 13 picks for this week:


Snipers: The Waldoes of the military.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Don’t worry if you can’t find them. They’ll find you.

Remember to properly secure your firearms and Marines.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Don’t worry, guys. It probably won’t be long.

Ingenuity means different things to different people.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
(If you want to make fun of them, use small words so they get it.)

This is unfair and inaccurate:

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
We all know SEALs start with book deals and then sell the movie rights later.

If you don’t need fixing, basic training will be easy.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Trust me, though, we all needed some fixing . . .

Speaking of drill sergeants, they’re arriving with your wake up call.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Your wake-up call will be at zero-dark thirty.

I can’t relax if I don’t feel safe.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
It’s called position improvement, and if we get attacked you’ll stop complaining.

Finally, camouflage for the Navy (a.k.a. “aquaflage”) makes sense.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

 Reflective belts in the military are like car keys for teenagers.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
You can’t go anywhere without them, the older crowd uses them to control you, and you lose them every time you want to leave.

 Air Force marksmanship training focuses on real world skills.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
(But don’t worry, you won’t ever get in a real firefight.)

 Bring every item, even the ones you weren’t issued.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
You’ll also be unpacking it at every stop for inspections. And when we get in-country. And a few more times because first sergeant wants to see it. By the way, the packing list isn’t final.

 Air Force: Military lite.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Notice how the Coast Guard didn’t occur to either of them?

Keep updating social media, ISIS.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
We can target off of your pictures. Please, send more.

NOW: The Hilarious Result Of Mashing Up Left Shark With Famous Military Quotes

And: 11 Things New Soldiers Complain About During Basic Training

Articles

4 times the U.S. fought in World War II before Pearl Harbor

The U.S. officially joined World War II after the Japanese attack at Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, 1941, but the U.S. knew that it would likely get dragged into the war in Europe and Asia for years before that.


For the last few months of 1941, America was preparing for an open conflict and the U.S. Navy was looking for a fight. At least four times before Dec. 7, both the Navy and the Coast Guard engaged in combat with German forces, capturing a vessel, threatening U-boats, and suffering the loss of 126 sailors.

1. The destroyer USS Greer duels with U-652 on Sept. 4, 1941.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
The USS Greer as she appeared in 1941, the year the crew engaged in what was likely the first American military action of World War II. The Greer engaged in a 3.5-hour fight with a German sub. (Photo: U.S. Navy)

The U.S. destroyer USS Greer was officially delivering mail to Argentia, Newfoundland, on Sept. 4, 1941. A British anti-submarine plane signaled the Greer that it had just witnessed a German submarine diving 10 miles ahead of the Greer.

Greer locked onto the German submarine U-652 and began following it.

The British airplane fired first. It was running low on fuel and dropped its four depth charges and flew away. The Greer, still in sound contact with the sub, soon had to dodge two torpedoes from U-652. Greer answered with eight depth charges after the first torpedo and 11 more after the second.

Neither vessel was damaged in the 3.5-hour fight.

2. Coast Guardsmen capture a German vessel and raid a signals post in Sept. 12-14, 1941.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: U.S. Coast Guard

On Sept. 12, the USCGC Northland and USCGC North Star, Coast Guard cutters assisting in the defense of Greenland, spotted a suspicious Norwegian vessel, the Buskoe, operating near a cache of German supplies that the Coast Guard had recently seized.

After questioning the men aboard the vessel, the Northland crew learned that the ship had landed two groups of “hunters” on the coast. On Sept. 13, the North Star sent a crew to take over the Buskoe while the Northland crew dispatched a team to search for the Norwegians.

The Norwegians were discovered with German orders and radio equipment on Sept. 14.

Since the U.S. was not technically at war and could not take prisoners, the men were arrested as illegal immigrants. The Buskoe spy ship was the first Axis vessel captured by Americans in World War II.

3. U-568 hits USS Kearny on Oct. 17, 1941.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
The USS Kearny suffered extensive damage from a September 1941 German torpedo attack. (Photo: U.S. Navy)

Just after midnight on the morning of Oct. 17, 1941, a British freighter of convoy SC-48 was struck by a German torpedo and began burning in the night. The USS Kearny, assigned to a task force guarding the convoy, dropped depth charges and moved to protect the convoy from further attack.

Just a few minutes later, the sub fired a spread of three torpedoes, one of which hit the Kearny near an engine room and crippled the ship. Despite the damage and the loss of 11 of the crew, the Kearny was able to navigate to Iceland under its own power.

After the first 14 hours, the USS Greer (yes, from #1 above) rendezvoused with the ship and established an anti-submarine screen.

Bonus: The Navy looks for a fight with the legendary Tirpitz in the Atlantic in October 1941.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
The German battleship Tirpitz was massive and the U.S. hoped to fight it in October 1941, but couldn’t draw it out for the fight. (Photo: U.S. Naval Intelligence)

The Navy’s Task Force 14 was launched in October 1941, with the purpose of guarding a British troop convoy headed to Singapore, a violation of the Neutrality Act.

The task force consisted of an aircraft carrier, battleship, two cruisers, and nine destroyers ,and was likely the most powerful U.S. task force assembled up to that point in history.

Atlantic Fleet Commander Adm. Ernest King wrote a memo to President Franklin Roosevelt saying that he hoped to fight an enemy capital ship like the German Tirpitz, one of the strongest battleships of the war.

Unfortunately for King, the Tirpitz didn’t take the bait and Task Force 14 found no enemy ships during its patrol.

4. USS Reuben James is sunk by U-552 on Oct. 31, 1941.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
The USS Reuben James, a destroyer and the first U.S. ship lost in World War II, sails the Panama Canal in this undated photo. (Photo: U.S. Navy)

The USS Reuben James, a destroyer escorting a British convoy, was struck by at least one German torpedo that inflicted severe damage at approximately 5:30 in the morning on Oct. 31, 1941.

According to Chief Petty Officer William Burgstresser, one of only 44 survivors, the entire front section of the ship was torn off.

It quickly sank, becoming the first U.S. ship lost in the war and killing 115 crew members, including all officers onboard.

Just over a month after the sinking of the Reuben James, the Japanese attack at Pearl Harbor finally propelled America into the war.

Articles

The best A-10 memes on the Internet

A while back, Team Mighty posted a story about song lyrics airmen shouldn’t text to each other to avoid punishment from the Air Force. For that list, we created this meme:


24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

Airmen did not love seeing Miley riding their beloved A-10 Thunderbolt II. To repay our debt for defiling the most beloved of Close Air Support airframes, we collected the best memes and internet humor with the A-10 and/or the GAU-8 Avenger. Netizens love the A-10 as much as ground combat troops, so A-10 humor isn’t hard to find.

There are motivational posters.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

There are newer jokes.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

 

And old favorites.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

And even Star Wars A-10 Jokes.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

There are digs at ISIS.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

And digs at the Air Force for trying to get rid of the A-10.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

We love the GAU-8 Avenger, the massive 30mm hydraulic-driven gun, around which the plane is built.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

Most importantly, we love the BRRRRRRRRRRRT

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

And the A-10 is a great way to show your appreciation on Facebook.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

 

Articles

15 clichés every military recruit from Texas hears in basic training

Being from Texas bring a certain set of expectations. Some are good, some are funny, and some are just ridiculous.


There are many, but here are 15 clichés every recruit hears at boot camp:

1. “Only steers and queers come from Texas private cowboy, and you don’t much look like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down” – Sergeant Hartman, “Full Metal Jacket” (1987)

You know how it goes. You get to a new unit and the first thing someone asks is what’s your name and where you’re from. You say, “my name is ____” followed by, “I’m from Texas.” The first thing you get is the Gunny Hartman quote about steers and queers. It doesn’t get more original than that (note my sarcasm).

2. The drill instructor calls you “Lone Star” to single you out.

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Photo: Cpl. Caitlin Brink/USMC

What the hell are you doing Lone Star? Why are you out of formation!? This one is worth owning.

3. Everyone calls you “Tex” instead of your name. This usually happens for the first two weeks of boot camp while everyone is still learning names.

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Photo: YouTube Screen Grab

“There was Dallas, from Phoenix; Cleveland – he was from Detroit; and Tex… well, I don’t remember where Tex come from.” – Forrest Gump, “Forrest Gump” (1994)

4. Everyone assumes you have a horse back home.

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Photo: Reddit

Nope. Too expensive.

5. Everyone from Texas goes hunting.

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Photo: @outdoorhunters/instagram

Not really. But we do have a friend that does who’d let us tag along with if we wanted to.

6. The other recruits assume you know your way around a rifle because everyone in Texas has a gun.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had

… because Texas has that open carry law.

7. You eat BBQ for every meal.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: @jdslaugh/instagram

We f–king love BBQ! And, we don’t settle for that nonsense other states call BBQ. Your choice of meat with pepper and salt over misquite is all you need.

8. All Texans are stupid.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: mike_who/instagram

They’re just mistaking our Texan drawl for being slow.

9. You grew up on a ranch.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: @jmd.x/instagram

Where do you think we do all our BBQing, shooting, and hunting? Actually, no. Cities like San Antonio, Dallas/Fort Worth, and Houston are among the largest in the country. There’s no room for a ranch in the asphalt jungle.

10. You must have an oil well in your backyard.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: @asoto217/instagram

Who do you think we are, the Beverly Hillbillies?

11. You probably have a big truck.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: @lonestar_diesel

If we don’t have one, we really want one. Who doesn’t?

12. People from Texas are the definition of “Murica.”

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: evan_el_jefe/instagram

We’re very patriotic, which is why there’s always a handful of recruits from the great state in your unit.

13. Football is your religion.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: @katytexans_tyfa/instagram

Yes. We go to church every Friday (high school football), Saturday (college football), and Sunday (NFL football).

14. You have long horns over your fireplace or on your vehicle.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: @jon_jp/instagram

Nope. Not so much. It would go well with UT Longhorn gear though.

15. You’re from Texas, so therefore you’re a redneck. Nope, I’m a Texan.

24 jobs you didn’t know the US military had
Photo: American Sniper/imdb

“Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins.” — Chris Kyle, “American Sniper” (2014)

Lists

16 celebs who grew up as military brats

April is Month of the Military Child, so here are 16 celebrities who grew up in military families. Which one of these military brats surprises you the most?


1. Amy Adams was born in Italy while her Army father was stationed at Caserma Ederle. He moved the family around for eight years before settling in Colorado.

2. Julianne Moore was also raised in an Army home (and was born on Fort Bragg).

3. LeVar Burton was born into an Army family at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center. He would grow up to be the chief engineer of the USS Enterprise under Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

4. Luke Skywalker (actor Mark Hamill) was from a Navy family and even graduated from high school on Yokosuka Naval Base in Japan. Strangely, Luke fights best on the Dune Sea. There must be a SeaBee in the family somewhere.

5. Robert Duvall was born into a Navy family. His father started at the Naval Academy at 16, made Captain at 39, and retired a rear admiral. His family is descended from the family of Confederate General Robert E. Lee. Duvall served in the Army during the Korean War, but “barely qualified on the M-1 rifle in basic.” Still plays a badass Air Cav Commander, though.

6. Author and Church of Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard was born into a Navy family. Much of Hubbard’s travel throughout the Pacific is due to his father’s Navy career. He later served as a Naval officer himself, although his record has major discrepancies.

7. Author of the novel Push Ramona Lofton (best known by her pen name Sapphire) was raised in an Army household.

8. The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels (born Michael Shawn Hickenbottom) was raised in Arizona, England, and San Antonio, following his father’s Air Force career. He was a linebacker on Randolph Air Force Base’s high school football team.

9. Annie Leibovitz took her first photos when living with her father, an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, while he was stationed in the Philippines. She moved frequently with him.

10. Comedian Patton Oswalt was born to Larry Oswalt, a career Marine Corps officer – and was named for General George S. Patton.

11. Stephen Stills’ military childhood in places like Florida, Louisiana, Costa Rica, Panama, and El Salvador was an influence on his musical style. Crosby, Nash, and Young had equally interesting childhoods, though outside of the military.

12. Bruce Willis’ dad was a soldier who married a German woman while stationed there. Two years later, he moved the Willis family back to New Jersey.

13. James Woods’ father was an Army intelligence officer.

14. Tiger Woods was born to Lieutenant Colonel Earl Woods, an Army officer and Vietnam veteran.

15. Former MLB player Johnny Damon was born at Fort Riley, Kansas to Army Staff Sergeant Jimmy Damon.

16. Legendary Doors frontman Jim Morrison‘s dad was a Navy admiral, the youngest to attain flag rank at the time.

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