The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won't get in a movie but should - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MOVIES

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

Both Marvel and DC have come up with some pretty terrible superheroes in their time – Arm Fall Off Boy comes to mind for DC, Doctor Bong for Marvel – and while an Arm Fall Off Boy appearance would be welcome in the next Wonder Woman movie, a full film about a guy who can remove his limbs at will and beat villains to death with them seems anticlimactic at best. But for every weird character and every beloved superhero, there is a small sliver in that Venn diagram of weird characters that should have their own movie.


I would watch the $%*& out of these movies.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

Access

Ever wanted to see Spider-Man and Batman team up to clean the streets of Gotham of filthy criminals? Well, you can’t for the same reason that Spider-Man took forever to show up in the Marvel Cinematic Universe: the characters are owned by different companies. But in case Disney and DC ever get desperate for that one amazing summer blockbuster, there’s a way – the DC/Marvel joint property of Access.

Access is a superhero who was shown the power to access (get it?) both universes by a bum in an alley somewhere. His duty is to keep them both separate. So if we ever want to find out if Superman can kill the Incredible Hulk or if Wonder Woman can find emotional closure through Steve Rogers’ origin, Access is the key.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

ForgetMeNot

ForgetMeNot is one of the X-Men who might have actually been in every X-Men and MCU movie ever, because we can totally just say he was and that his superpower is why we don’t recall seeing him in those movies. His superpowers include the ability to go completely unnoticed (even when right in front of someone) and to be completely forgotten once he wants to be. Even Professor X, the most powerful psychic in the universe, has to remind himself that ForgetMeNot exists.

There might have been a movie about him already, and if the special effects were worth their salt, you’ve already forgotten it. Let’s say it starred John Cazale, because I miss that guy. It was nominated for an Academy Award.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

Dogwelder

If you think Joker is going to be an epic dark drama, just you wait for the release of Dogwelder. This super – we’ll say hero, because I am assured he’s a hero – constantly fights the compulsion to weld dogs to people’s faces. His career began when his wife and kids left him after he attempted to weld the family dog to his children. But luckily John Constantine appears to show him the greater power he has through the Egyptian god Anubis. He then learns to talk through dogs and weld stars together.

This movie has the potential to not only be a dark horror drama, but also a tale of redemption featuring adorable dogs and Keanu Reeves. And we all know the potential cinematic gold that comes with pairing dogs and Keanu Reeves.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

Danny the Street

Speaking of dark horror, this character has some serious potential. If you’re a fan of The Amityville Horror, The Haunting, or literally any other movie about a living house, haunted house, or vengeful real estate, get ready for an entire goddamned street that is not only a living entity but has superpowers. He can teleport, fitting his street into any city, anywhere, can change the stores on the street as well as their appearances, and communicates through signs and typewriters.

Danny protects the strange, the outcasts of society, pledged to nurture all of those who need him throughout the DC universe. Think about how much better the Justice League movie would have been if the Justice League had to fight Steppenwolf on Danny the Street. You can catch Danny the Street on the Doom Patrol TV series, but c’mon – this guy deserves the silver screen.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

Squirrel Girl.

Some of you are laughing, the rest of you know what I’m talking about. Squirrel Girl’s superpowers include razor-sharp teeth and claws, a prehensile squirrel tail, super strength, the ability to communicate with squirrels, and a fighting ability that saw her knock Wolverine right the $%* out. In the Marvel comics universe, this was good enough to earn her a spot as an Avenger, and only Squirrel Girl could have been the nanny for Luke Cage and Jessica Jones’ baby. The crossover potential is amazing.

If you’re still scoffing at Squirrel Girl, you should know she beat Thanos by herself when it took the rest of the MCU six hours over two movies, as well as Deadpool, Galactus, and Doctor Doom. She even had to rescue Iron Man one time. Anna Kendrick has already expressed interest, and I really need to see Robert Downey Jr.’s Iron Man, Anna Kendrick’s Squirrel Girl, and Ryan Reynolds’ Deadpool in a flashback movie, so let’s do this already.

Humor

These are the 43 best COVID-19 memes for the week of March 27

We published our favorite 63 COVID-19 memes not too long ago and the response was overwhelming. Turns out during these serious, scary and uncertain times, one thing is for sure: We could all use a good laugh. And one more thing that’s for sure: the memes just keep on coming. We bring you this week’s best COVID-19 sayings and memes.


The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

1. This is why we can’t have nice things

It’s bad enough we cancelled March Madness. Can ya’ll just please follow the directions so we can have some summer?

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

2. And you thought finding love in the time of cholera was bad

At least it’s not you, it’s COVID-19.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

3. 6 feet, damn it!

I always thought Pooh was the selfish one, breaking into everyone’s houses and stealing all the honey. Maybe it’s clingy Piglet.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

4. That homeschool life tho

If you can teach fractions pouring wine, you can teach gym with chores.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

5. I volunteer as tribute

You know you’re going to get voluntold anyway.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

6. Spoiler alert: nowhere

I got so excited when I saw Absolutely.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

7. Wasn’t me

It’s always the wife.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

8. Dad joke

Oh, so punny. Sorry, not sorry.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

9. The truth hurts

If only hoarding had an immunity boost with it.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

10. I’d like to pass over 2020

Seems logical.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

11. Puerto Backyard-O

Just be careful of the DUI checkpoint in the hall.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

12. So full of hope

So full of $hit. 1

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

13. This little piggy

That’s the one who stayed home, Karen.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

14. You put the lotion on the skin

But honestly, isn’t there a tinnyyyyy part of you that thinks it would be so nice to be touched by another human again?

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

15. The quarantine cut 

This cut will help you social distance like never before!

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

16. It ends with credits

After Tiger King, is there really anything left to watch?

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

17. Poetry in action 

We might need this on a t-shirt.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

18. Allergies be like 

No, but seriously. You know you can’t sneeze without everyone panicking.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

19. Blend and repeat

We call this breakfast.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

20. No pants either way

Just don’t confuse the two.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

21. Life lessons

Here Timmy, blow your nose. And breathe in.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

22. Bad Boy vs. Death Row

These are important life lessons.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

23. Stay-at-home order 

Except for everyone in the military.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

24. Quarantine body

We might need to issue a lockdown on our snack cabinet…

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

25. Nobody wants bed bugs

Lice, too.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

26. Show me the money!

Plumbing is an essential service. Hoarding is not.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

27. Is today the day? 

And to think you might not even know for 5-14 days…

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

28. Another COVID-cut

You can always just shave it off…

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

29. Prince Charmin

The year of the hunter.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

30. Hashtag no filter

No truer words were ever spoken.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

31. Speaking of Matthew McConaughey…

At least he got thinner?

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

32. Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat

We know we’re mixing Disney movies, but that bidet is a whole new world.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

33. Meanwhile, in Oklahoma

We know Carol Beskin is the real cause behind coronavirus.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

34. United as one

That’s how the heartland does. ‘Merica.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

35. April Fool’s 

Although, this might be footage of Florida over the weekend… #STAYHOME

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

36. Muscle atrophy

Too many leg days?

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

37. How we all feel 

Don’t forget to change out of your daytime pajamas into your nighttime pajamas.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

38. Oh Kermieeee

Is Quarantini a breakfast beverage?

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

39. Pants are always optional 

Video chats should come with a 15 minute courtesy.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

40. The difference a year makes

Just a healthy change in perspective.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

41. Men are from Mars…

He probably does want to talk about it.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

42. Two thumbs up 

“No, really, we don’t mind.”

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

43. We’ll never forget

The Purell. The panic. The year the world stopped.

Keep your sense of humor, wash your hands, stay home and stop the spread. And more than anything, we hope you and your family stay well.

MIGHTY TACTICAL

Why Marines demand new lightweight 50-cal ammunition

The Marine Corps is hoping industry can make lightweight .50 caliber ammunition that provides machine-gunners with a 30 percent weight savings over existing linked belts of .50 caliber ammo.

Marine Corps Systems Command recently released a request for information to see if commercial companies have the capability to produce lightweight .50 caliber ammo that “will provide a weight savings when compared to the current M33 .50 cartridge in the DODIC A555 linked configuration,” according to the document released on FedBizOpps.gov.


“A belt of 100 Lightweight .50 Caliber cartridges with 101 links shall have a threshold overall weight of 24.6 lbs. or 15 percent weight savings compared to the legacy A555 configuration,” the document states. “A belt of 100 lightweight cartridges with 101 links shall have an objective overall weight savings of more than 20.3 lbs. or 30 percent compared to the legacy A555 configuration.”

Lightweight ammunition is not a new concept. Commercial companies continue to work new methods to lighten one of the heaviest necessities of warfare.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Ammunition for the M2 .50 caliber machine gun is prepared as Marines with Headquarters Battery, 3rd Battalion, 12th Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, prepare for their first day of firing crew-served weapons at the East Fuji artillery range Sept. 12.

The Chesapeake Cartridge Corporation showed off its new line of nickel ammunition at SHOT Show 2018 in Las Vegas.

The shell casings, made of aluminum-plated nickel alloy, are lighter and stronger that traditional brass casings, Ed Collins, Chesapeake’s director for business development, told Military.com in January 2018.

The company is working toward creating ammunition that’s 50 percent lighter than conventional brass ammo. Currently, the company makes military calibers such as 9mm, 5.56mm and 7.62mm NATO, but it plans to make it in additional calibers in the future.

Companies such as PCP Ammunition make polymer-cased ammunition, which offers up to a 30 percent weight savings compared to brass-cased ammo.

Textron Systems makes case-telescoped weapons and ammunition. The ammo concept relies on plastic case rather than a brass one to hold the propellant and the projectile, like a conventional shotgun shell.

Over the past decade, the U.S. Army has invested heavily in Textron’s concept, formerly known as Light Weight Small Arms Technology.

Textron doesn’t currently make .50-caliber, case-telescoped ammunition, but its 5.56mm CT ammo weighs about 37 percent less than standard belted 5.56mm.

Companies have until June 1, 2018, to respond to the RFI, the document states.

This article originally appeared on Military.com. Follow @military.com on Twitter.

MIGHTY TRENDING

What you need to know about the soldier receiving the Medal of Honor

A 10th Mountain Division squad leader credited with saving the lives of three of his soldiers by throwing himself atop a suicide bomber in Iraq will be posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor, the White House announced March 12, 2019.

Staff Sgt. Travis W. Atkins went above and beyond the call of duty on June 1, 2007, while his unit — Delta Company, 2nd Battalion, 14th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team — conducted route clearance southwest of Baghdad.

During the mission, Atkins, 31, of Bozeman, Montana, heard a report over the radio of suspected insurgents crossing an intersection in the Iraqi town of Abu Samak.


As the truck commander in his Humvee, Atkins ordered the driver to pull the vehicle up to the intersection so they could interdict the suspected insurgents. Once stopped, Atkins exited the vehicle and approached one of the men to check him for weapons while another soldier covered him.

When Atkins attempted to search him, the man resisted. Atkins then engaged in hand-to-hand combat with the insurgent, who was reaching for an explosive vest under his clothing, according to an award citation.

Staff Sgt. Travis Atkins: Final Mission

www.youtube.com

Atkins then grabbed the suicide bomber from behind with a bear hug and slammed him onto the ground, away from his soldiers. As he pinned the insurgent to the ground, the bomb detonated.

Atkins was mortally wounded by the blast. With complete disregard for his own safety, he had used his own body as a shield to protect his fellow soldiers from injury. They were only feet away.

Soon after, another insurgent was fatally shot by one of Atkins’ soldiers before he could detonate another suicide vest.

For his actions, Atkins was initially given the Army’s second-highest award, the Distinguished Service Cross. Now that award has been upgraded to a Medal of Honor.

President Donald J. Trump will present the medal to Atkins’ family on March 27, 2019.

Before he joined the Army, Atkins worked for concrete and painting contractors and as an engine mechanic in Montana. He enlisted into the infantry in 2000 and less than three years later he deployed to participate in the invasion of Iraq.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

Then-Sgt. Travis Atkins poses with battle buddies in Iraq, 2007.

Atkins left the Army in late 2003, but rejoined two years later and was assigned to the 10th Mountain Division.

He deployed to Iraq again with the division in the summer of 2006 and became a staff sergeant in May 2007, a month before his death.

At Fort Drum, New York, the division honored Atkins by naming a fitness center after him in 2013.

During the dedication ceremony, then-Sgt. Aaron Hall, who was Atkins’ battle buddy, described the staff sergeant as a “quiet professional” who always had the respect of others.

“When my 4-year-old son Travis tells me his favorite superhero is Captain America and asks me who my favorite superhero is, my reply always has and will be Staff Sgt. Travis W. Atkins,” Hall said.

According to his obituary, Atkins was also known to hunt, fish, camp, and ride snowmobiles. His first love, though, was his son, Trevor Oliver, who was 11 years old at the time of his father’s death.

Atkins was buried June 12, 2007, in his hometown of Bozeman in south-central Montana. He is also survived by his parents, Jack and Elaine Atkins.

MIGHTY TRENDING

How the world’s combat-tested nuclear aircraft carriers stack up

Nuclear-powered aircraft carriers are more effective than conventionally-powered carriers for two basic reasons.

One, nuclear power provides more energy for catapults and sensors than fossil fuel; and two, the lack of fossil fuels onboard also frees up a lot of space for more missiles and bombs.

But there are only two countries in the world with nuclear-powered aircraft carriers: the United States and France.

France has one nuclear-powered carrier, the Charles de Gaulle. The US has a fleet of 11 nuclear-powered carriers, including two different classes, the Nimitz and Gerald R. Ford classes.


But the Ford-class only has one commissioned carrier, the USS Gerald R. Ford, and it has yet to see combat, while the USS Nimitz was commissioned in 1975, and has seen plenty.

The Charles de Gaulle, which was commissioned in 2001, has also seen combat for over a decade.

So we’ve compared the tried-and-trusted Nimitz and Charles de Gaulle classes to see how they stack up.

And there’s a clear winner — take a look.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

The USS Eisenhower (left) transits the Mediterranean Sea alongside the Charles de Gaulle (right) in 2016.

(US Navy photo)

The first big difference between the CDG and Nimitz-class carriers are the nuclear reactors.


Nimitz-class carriers have two A4W nuclear reactors, each of which provide 550 Megawatts of energy, whereas the CDG has two K15 reactors, each providing only 150 Megawatts.

Not only are Nimitz-class carriers faster than the CDG (about 34-plus mph versus about 31 mph), but they also need to be refueled about once every 50 years, whereas the CDG needs to be refueled every seven years.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

The USS Eisenhower (top) transits the Mediterranean Sea with the Charles de Gaulle (bottom) while conducting operations in support of US national security interests in Europe.

(US Navy photo)

Another big difference is size.


Nimitz-class carriers are about 1,092 feet long, while the CDG is about 858 feet long, which gives the Nimitz more room to stage and load airplanes for missions. Nimitz-class carriers also have about a 97,000 ton displacement, while the CDG has a 42,000 ton displacement.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

The aircraft carrier USS Nimitz.

(US Navy photo)

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

Charles De Gaulle nuclear-powered aircraft carrier.

(US Navy photo)

Whereas the CDG can carry a maximum of 40 aircraft, such as Dassault Rafales, Dauphins, and more.

However, both the CDG and Nimitz-class carries use Catapult Assisted Take-Off But Arrested Recovery launch systems, which means the jets are catapulted forward during takeoff and recovered by snagging a wire with the tailhooks mounted under their planes when landing. CATOBAR launch systems are the most advanced in the world.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

RIM-7P NATO Sea Sparrow Missile launches from Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln during an exercise.

(US Navy photo)

As for defensive weapons, Nimitz-class carriers generally carry about three eight-cell NATO Sea Sparrow surface-to-air missile launchers. They also carry Rolling Airframe Missiles and about three or four Phalanx close-in weapons systems. These weapons are used to intercept incoming missiles or airplanes.


Source: naval-technology.com

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

Two Sylver long-range missile launchers on the Charles de Gaulle aircraft carrier.

The CDG, on the other hand, has four eight-cell Sylver launchers that fire Aster 15 surface-to-air-missiles, two six-cell Sadral short-range missile launchers that fire Mistral anti-aircraft and anti-missile missiles. It also has eight Giat 20F2 20 mm cannons.


Source: naval-technology.com

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

The USS Eisenhower transits the Mediterranean Sea alongside the Charles de Gaulle in 2016.

(US Navy photo)

Both Nimitz-class carriers and the CDG have seen their fair share of combat, especially the former.

The Nimitz-class has served in every US war since Vietnam, with its planes launching missions in Desert Storm, Iraq and Afghanistan. The USS Nimitz, the lead ship in the class, first saw action during the Iranian hostage crisis in 1979.

The CDG was deployed to the Indian Ocean during Operation Enduring Freedom and the initial liberation of Afghanistan. It also took part in the United Nations’ no-fly zone over Libya in 2011, flying 1,350 sorties during that war.

More recently, de Gaulle was involved in France’s contribution to the air campaign against ISIS in Iraq and Syria, codenamed Opération Chammal in France.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY HISTORY

The first female pilot to break the sound barrier held more records than any other pilot

Immediately after the birth of aviation, there was a race to beat records, improve techniques, and push aerial boundaries. Being the first female to break the sound barrier is just one of the many records that Jacqueline Cochran holds, solidifying her place in history as a pioneer of the Golden Age of flying.


Jacqueline Cochran was born Bessie Lee Pittman on May 11, 1906, in Muscogee, Florida. Growing up in poverty, by just six years old, she started working at her family’s cotton mill in Georgia. Her childhood was rough, but it ingrained in her a will and resolve that catapulted her in achieving personal goals.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

A young Jacqueline Cochran on the precipice of her aviation career.

She went on to marry George Cochran at the young age of 14 and changed her name to Jacqueline Cochran. Her marriage didn’t last, but that didn’t stop her from making a name for herself in the business world. In the early 1930s, she decided to venture into becoming a beautician and, eventually, owned her own cosmetics company that lasted well into the 1970s.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

Jacqueline Cochran simultaneously ran her successful cosmetic line during her aviation career.

However, it seemed that ordinary life was not suited for Cochran. She wanted to make a difference in the war efforts of the time and felt that flying would offer the hand-hold to do so. In 1932, her ambitions reached into the world of aviation and she began to train and study. After just three short weeks of instruction, she received her pilot’s license and set her sights even higher.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Above, Jacqueline Cochran in the cockpit of a Curtiss P-40 Warhawk.

Cochran obtained many prestigious titles, including being the first woman to win the Bendix Trophy during the Bendix Transcontinental Air Race. She set an international altitude and speed record while becoming the first woman to make a blind landing. She earned the Distinguished Service Medal for leading the Women’s Air Force Service Pilots (WAFS) and continued to set speed records for 15-, 100-, and 500-km courses after breaking the sound barrier in an F-86 Sabre in 1953.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Chuck Yeager championed for Jacqueline Cochran and supplied her with guidance before she broke the sound barrier.

In addition to all these impressive records, she had time to lend a hand to the advancement of female aviators when she gained command over the British Air Transport Auxiliary, consisting of a select group of female pilots. In the U.S., Cochran directed the Women Airforce Service Pilots (WASP) in 1942, which provided more than one thousand pilots to the armed forces.

At the time of her death in 1980, her persistence and drive for excellence attributed to her collection of more speed, distance, and altitude records than anyone in the world, male or female.

Maryann Bucknum Brinley, a biographer, said it best,

“Jackie was an irresistible force… Generous, egotistical, compassionate, sensitive, aggressive — indeed an explosive study in contradictions — Jackie was consistent only in the overflowing energy with which she attacked the challenge of being alive.”
popular

These are 6 other weapons legal for open carry in the United States

As we all know by now, the Second Amendment protects the right for citizens of the U.S. to bear arms. In 48 states and territories, it is also legal for Americans to carry their weapons in the open, in public, in plain sight. While these “open carry” laws allow users to wear various firearms, it doesn’t allow for all weapons. Some non-firearms are legal for open carry, some aren’t so much.


 

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

 

Depending on where you are in the United States, you’ll want to check the local ordinances before you strap on your other weapons. Seriously, this site is We Are The Mighty, not We Are The Lawyers — so check those laws.

1. Swords – California

In California, any fixed blade must be sheathed. But not only is it legal to openly carry a sheathed sword, it’s the law. Any kind of concealment for bladed weapons is a misdemeanor. Bladed weapons in most states where they are legal to carry, are usually illegal if they’re longer than five inches. Concealed blades, like cane swords, are always illegal.

 

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Just one of the many things wrong with the movie Blind Fury.

2. Religious Knives – U.S. Military and all States

Because Sikh religious practices sometimes require the use of a kirpan, a small sword used in religious practices. Because the bladed weapon is anywhere from three to nine inches long, it can be illegal in most states, but many state courts and legislatures found this violates the Sikh’s religious rights. The U.S. military allows for Sikhs to wear the bladed weapons in uniform.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Also, turbans (photo via The Sikh Coalition)

3. Flamethrowers – Everywhere except Maryland and California

The perfect tool for melting snow and killing insects is now commercially available and legal for open carry in 48 states. Why? Because it runs on good ol’ 87 octane gasoline. Homemade flamethrowers were previously regulated based on the fuel they used. Now nothing can stop you from getting to work in those deep February snows.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Pesky mosquitos!

4. Tomahawks – Not California, Colorado, or Texas

Unless you’re carrying a tomahawk made of wood and stone (in which case you should also be wearing a Native American headdress and traveling with a construction worker, policeman, and cowboy), then a tomahawk is actually a pretty popular weapon. Battle tomahawks are legal to own in most states that allow a fixed blade, except Colorado. Texas prohibits “any hand instrument designed to cut or stab another by being thrown.” In California, you should be on your way to a re-enactment or camping while holding your tomahawk, otherwise the law can give you a headache over it.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
But not the same headache you can give them.

5. Battle Axes – Washington State

Washington State Football Coach Mike Leach famously announced he uses a Viking battleaxe for home defense, instead of his firearms. It is legal to open carry any type of weapon in Washington State, so long as it is “not carried in a way that may cause others alarm.”

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Time for a kinder, gentler battleaxe.

One trailblazing action group is working on getting restrictions to battle axes lifted in Texas.

6. Ninja Stars – Montana

In Montana, it is legal to openly carry any weapon that is legal to own. So, throwing knives, lightsabers, ninja stars, you name it: anything not expressly forbidden by case law or state legislation is fair game. Go nuts, ninjas in Montana!

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Cowboy ninjas rejoice!

MIGHTY TRENDING

Russian military’s cathedral consecrated without mosaic featuring Putin

Russian Orthodox Patriarch Kirill has consecrated the main cathedral dedicated to the armed forces, built to mark Victory Day in celebration of the 75th anniversary of the end of World War II in Europe.

Religious leaders, Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu, his deputies, guests, and hundreds of uniformed soldiers attended the ceremony on June 14 at the newly constructed Cathedral of the Russian Armed Forces, located some 60 kilometers outside of Moscow.

The church was originally due to be opened on May 9 as part of a grand celebration to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the defeat of Nazi Germany. But the opening was postponed due to the deadly coronavirus pandemic.


The massive cathedral, one of the largest in the world, sparked controversy earlier this year when leaked photos showed a partially completed mosaic featuring Russian President Vladimir Putin, Defense Minister Shoigu, General Valery Gerasimov, and several other Russian officials.

The plan to display the mosaic was later canceled following criticism and after the Kremlin leader reportedly expressed opposition to the idea.

“This is an unprecedented event for the soldiers and for all of the the citizens in the whole country,” Gerasimov, the current chief of the General Staff of the armed forces, said ahead of the event.

The construction of the church cost 6 billion rubles (about million), according to media reports.

The church was supposed to be paid for entirely through donations, but according to Russian reports almost 3 billion rubles (about million) came from the Kremlin budget.

This article originally appeared on Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty. Follow @RFERL on Twitter.

MIGHTY CULTURE

The 3 most confusing days of any military career

Serving your country as part of the armed forces is easily one of the greatest accomplishments you can achieve. Simply raising your right hand, signing on the dotting line, and joining a branch is a selfless act, regardless of your actual job.

Right out of the gate, many have no idea what to expect — this is normal. There are certain days, however, that will always be shrouded in particular mystery and confusion. Just because joining the military is an admirable choice doesn’t mean it’s a path free of doubt or misunderstanding. It’s a blazed trail that many have walked before you, but every service member experiences these days that require serious adjustment.


The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

Day one in service? Yea, it’s a big, fat WTF moment

(Photo by Lance Cpl. David Bessey)

Day 1

The day you begin service is a special one — and we don’t mean “special” like when the moon shines perfectly over a still, beautiful lake, as if positioned just for you. It’s the kind of special that screams directly into your face with a kind of fury you’ve never seen before.

Sure, those who join from military families may have different expectations from those who had never seen a military uniform before meeting a recruiter. But no matter what you think your first day will be like, you’re going to be wrong.

Expect the unexpected.

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What should be a joyous day can get really weird, really quick

The day you become a supervisor

This is a day that truly changes your military career, particularly for the enlisted. On this day, you ascend from the ranks of the Junior Enlisted and make your way to the glorious land of the NCO.

The birds are singing, you’re feeling like a million f*ckin’ bucks, and all is right in the world. Then, you’re forced to exercise your rank and authority either by general necessity or constitutional requirement. Nothing’s wrong with that, really, except that when this happens early on in your life as an NCO, your actions and decisions will be highly scrutinized. You are being watched.

It’s a weird place to find yourself in. You’re expected to make decisions and have some “know better” in your system, but you aren’t initially trusted with the unquestioned support we thought would come with the post.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

This is what it feels like to get that glorious DD 214

Photo via Parade.com

The day you get out

There is a safe, happy post-service life waiting for all of us after we get that DD214, right? Well, maybe. But also, maybe not.

Even if you’ve prepared for the day you leave service for your entire career, when that day finally comes, adjusting isn’t always easy. You’ve been living a highly structured, organized life for the last several years and now it’s time to take the reigns 100%. But don’t fret; while getting your DD214 may be one of the most confusing days, it’s also one of the sweetest.

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of June 15th

Looks like troops will stop doing drills in South Korea and actually be pulled out of there. Great. Now every unit is going to get some Joe who was just stationed there that’ll constantly complain about how “South Korea was so much better” than their new unit — despite constantly talking sh*t while there.

It’s always the same lower-enlisted troop. You know the type. They’ll show up just barely in time for First Sergeant to call “fall in,” they’ll be hungover and smell like cigarettes at every formation, and it’s almost a guarantee that they’ll defend their sh*tty actions with a limp, “well, in my last unit…”

Have fun with that, NCOs. No one will blame you for tree-line counseling those fools.


The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

(Meme via Amuse)

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

Mindless detail where you can joke with your buddies or being stuck in a training meeting, listening to how the good idea fairy will reshape the unit?

Tough call.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

NCOs’ eyes are like the dinosaurs’. They can’t see you unless you move.

I learned it from Jurassic Park, so it has to be true.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

(Meme via ASMDDS)

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

(Meme via Gunner Boy)

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

(Meme via Military Memes)

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

There’s a massive difference between being a “five-jump chump” and having your mustard stain.

Which basically cuts out every staff officer who wanted to impress the commander.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

(Meme via the Salty Soldier)

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Articles

Here is how a Civil War cannon tore infantry apart

When you think of artillery, you’re probably thinking of something like the M777-towed 155mm howitzer or the M109A6 Paladin self-propelled gun. But in the Civil War, artillery was very different.


Back then, a gun wasn’t described by how wide the round was, but how much the round weighed. According to a National Park Service release, one of the most common was the 12-pounder Napoleon, which got that name from firing a 12-pound solid shot. The typical range for the Napoleon was about 2,000 yards. Multiply that by about twenty to have a rough idea how far a M777 can shoot an Excalibur GPS-guided round.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
The M1857 12-pounder Napoleon, probably the most common artillery piece of the Civil War. (Wikimedia Commons)

Another round used was the shell, a hollowed-out solid shot that usually had about eight ounces of black powder inserted. This is pretty much what most artillery rounds are today. The typical Civil War shell had a range of about 1,500 yards — or just under a mile.

However, when enemy troops were approaching, the artillery had two options. The first was to use what was called “case” rounds. These were spherical rounds that held musket balls. In the case of the Napoleon, it held 78 balls. Think of it as a giant hand grenade that could reach out as far as a mile and “touch” enemy troops.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Artillery shot-canister for a 12-pounder cannon. The canister has a wood sabot, iron dividing plate, and thirty-seven cast-iron grape shot. The grapeshot all have mold-seam lines, and some have sprue projections. (Wikimedia Commons)

When the enemy troops got real close, there was one last round: the canister. In essence, this turned the cannon into a giant shotgun. It would have cast-iron shot packed with sawdust. When enemy troops got very close, they’d use two canister rounds, known as “double canister” (in the 1993 movie, “Gettysburg,” you can hear a Union officer order “double canister” during the depiction of Pickett’s Charge).

To see what a canister round did to enemy troops, watch this video:

Articles

Canada and Denmark are using booze and flags to fight over this island

Hans Island is a tiny speck of rock that lies almost exactly halfway between Canada and Greenland in the Nares Straight, a thin body of Arctic seawater between the two countries. Denmark and Canada both claim the island as sovereign soil.


For over 95 years, they’ve been fighting the world’s most gentlemanly military struggle by sending their navies to claim the island using sarcastic signs, national flags, and bottles of Danish brandy and Canadian whisky.

The island was mapped in 1920 and has been a spot of contention between between Canada and Denmark ever since. Since the .5-square-mile island has no resources, inhabitants, wildlife, and hardly any soil, the island has limited value in itself.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
Photo: Copyright Free/Twthmoses

But, its location makes it a prime spot for managing sea traffic going into and out of the Arctic, something that is becoming more important with each bit of sea ice that melts. So, the two countries sat down and settled most of their border disputes in 1973 but were unable to come to terms on Hans Island.

Sometime in the 1980s, the bottles began appearing on the island. Denmark upped the ante sometime in the early 2000s when they placed a large flag on the island and a sign that said, “Welcome to Denmark,” with the liquor. Canada answered back with its own flag, sign, and liquor in July 2005.

The conflict has edged into more serious territory a few times. A visit to the island by the Canadian Defense Minister in 2005 drew angry comments from Denmark as did a 2004 increase in Canadian defense spending increase that cited Hans Island as a factor.

The 5 most bizarre comic book heroes who won’t get in a movie but should
The small rock in the center of this satellite image is Hans Island. Photo: NASA

Still, the island has continued to exist in a polite limbo. Canada even suspended operations on and near the island in 2013 amid worries about creating an international incident with Denmark.

Potential solutions to the issue have been discussed many times, and splitting the island down the middle or sharing it is the solution proposed most often.

MIGHTY TACTICAL

Why the US Army has some of the best divers in the world

Believe it or not, America’s primary land combatant force has some of the best combat divers in the world. It may seem odd that the Army, tasked with “providing prompt, sustained, land dominance, across the full range of military operations and the spectrum of conflict” would have world-class divers. But the Army’s swimmers are kept plenty busy.


Mission of Army Divers

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The Army has two major classifications of divers: engineering and special operations. The engineering dive detachments make up the bulk of Army dive formations. Their primary mission is to conduct underwater engineering and disaster response.

Basically, these soldiers are responsible for making bridges safe, ensuring ports and harbors are stable and clear of dangerous debris, and clearing waterways like rivers. But they can also be sent to disaster response areas where they could conduct all of the above missions as well as search and rescue to save people in distress. They also provide emergency treatment for civilian divers suffering from decompression treatment.

That may not sound all that grueling. After all, welders don’t have to be super buff, why would an underwater welder have to be some elite soldier?

Well, divers are doing construction tasks like welding, cutting, bolting, and more, but they’re doing it while water presses against their bodies, they’re carrying 30 pounds or more of tanks and compressed air, and they may have to constantly paddle to stay in position for their work.

And that’s ignoring the mental fortitude needed to conduct dangerous operations underwater as cloudy water obscures vision, rushing water pushes against you, and the shadows of animals like gators or sharks pass over your body.

It’s because of all that strain that Army divers have a reputation for being jacked (not that the other services’ divers are any less fit, we’re just talking about the soldiers right now).

Army dives are typically made with teams of at least four or five divers, depending on the equipment being used. But dive detachments have 25 personnel, allowing them to support operations at three locations at once if so ordered. Each of the three dive squads in a detachment has six people at full manning, and there are seven more people assigned to the headquarters.

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Pfc. Stephen Olinger checks his oxygen levels prior to an exercise during Army Engineer Diver Phase II training at the Naval Diving and Salvage Training Center in Panama City, Fla., Nov. 28, 2018.

(U.S. Army Joe Lacdan)

A single squad can be deployed within 48 hours of a mission notice, or the entire detachment can move out within seven days if they receive logistics and security support from a larger unit. These short-notice missions can often be assessing damage to key infrastructure after a hurricane or earthquake or search and recovery after a disaster. But the detachment can be tasked with anti-terrorism swims, underwater demolition and construction, or salvage as well.

As we hinted above, though, the Army has Special Forces divers as well. But these divers have a more limited set of missions. They primarily are tasked with conducting reconnaissance on target areas or entering or exiting an area of operations via the water. They can conduct some demolition raids and security missions as well.

Their list of missions includes mobility and counter-mobility, physical security, and more. Each Special Forces battalion has three combat diving teams.

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