Military Life

7 reasons the Air Force hates on the Army

It's a well-known fact the Air Force literally came from the Army. From the Aeronautical Division, Signal Corps to the Air Corps, to the complete and separate U.S. Air Force, airmen have long been in the shadow of the Army soldier.


It's a tiny but non-negotiable fact.

1. Sibling rivalry

If you have a big brother or sister, you know how it is. They came first so they always get a certain amount of attention from mommy and daddy that we, the baby brother, will rarely get.

Pictured: U.S. Air Force.

In this case, mommy and daddy are the American public and big brother is the Army. America will always view the Army in the way our parents view the older sibling. And that stings.

2. How's the Army?

Every Airmen who's ever worn their uniform in public and away from a military community has heard this or been referred to as a "soldier." And it sucks. A lot. The worst part is that our uniforms have at least two things printed on them: our last name and U.S. AIR FORCE!

It could always be worse.

Now that we all have different uniforms, you'd think this would be enough to be accurately recognized…and you'd be wrong.

3. The Army gets cool stuff first

I distinctly remember being a young airman in the early aughts and stationed in the the great state of Hawaii. Until this point, I assumed that I had all the latest and greatest the DoD had to offer. This view was shattered when I went to the firing range on Schofield Barracks one beautiful day.

Fun fact: 98 percent of days at Schofield Barracks are beautiful days.

We were greeted at the gate by a handful of Army Military Police who were carrying gorgeous new rifles: the M4. I was in pure awe and full of jealousy. Was I not a part of the military police brethren simply because I wore blue and they wore green? It chafed for some three years until I would finally be assigned my own M4.

4. The Army promotes faster

I recall befriending a young soldier back in those early days in Hawaii. We arrived to the island around the same time and were both in our respective services' law enforcement components. We were decent enough pals, but this is the early 2000s we're talking about. It was much easier to lose contact with someone in those days.

In two years, he'll be your battalion commander.

A couple years passed and we both progressed. I was studying for my first crack at the Staff Sergeant promotion test. I ran into my old pal and he was WEARING Army staff sergeant. Yes, I was about to test for E-5 for the first time and he was already wearing E-6. The conversation was short and I cried a little in the car.

5. The Army gets bigger bonuses

This one really isn't too hard to explain. That same Army pal re-enlisted around the same time I did. He was able to buy a brand new Cadillac Escalade with his bonus. I could afford some clothes and few nights out.

HONK HONK

6. Army Dress Blues > Air Force Dress Blues

This is actually quite a sore spot for most airmen. Our dress blues are little more than a blue suit with the appropriate military identifiers on them. So this one applies to every other service…we hate you guys for this.

Pictured: Coast Guard envy.

7. Army Combat Uniform vs. Airman Battle Uniform

Sticking with the uniform issue could honestly take a while. Our uniforms are all at once great and horrible. The problem here is that the ACU is actually wash and wear. You can take that uniform out of the dryer and put it on. You're out of the door in a few minutes.

"I hope you airmen ironed your wash-and-wear uniforms!"

I wouldn't dare try that with the ABU. It may be an Air Force Security Forces thing but when they introduced it as "wash and wear" I laughed...then I stopped laughing because I knew that would never apply to me.

Humor

These old Navy training videos on how to flirt are hilariously bad

The National Archives hosts countless educational films that have come from the military throughout the ages. If you want to learn about declassified nuclear testing, they've got it. If you want to learn how to properly resist communist propaganda, they've got that, too. If you want to learn the 1960's way of wooing women, you better believe the U.S. Military has wasted money on making those videos, too.

Keep reading... Show less
Articles

How R. Lee Ermey's Hollywood break is an inspiration to us all

While there have been many outstanding actors and celebrities who have raised their right hand, there has never been a veteran who could finger point his way to the top of Hollywood stardom quite like the late great Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey.

Keep reading... Show less
Podcast

Combat poetry reveals what life is like on the Afghan front lines

Justin Eggen had some things stuck in his head for a long time during — but especially after — his two deployments to Afghanistan. These thoughts became poems and short stories that reflected his feelings and personal experience as a Marine in Marjah and in Afghanistan's Sangin Valley. They are Eggen's way of handling the overwhelming series of emotions from and memories of his time there.

Keep reading... Show less
Military Life

7 things grunts think about on watch in fighting holes

If nothing else has made you question your choice to join the infantry before, digging a fighting hole definitely will. It's always miserable, it's extremely time consuming, and there's always a giant rock waiting for you once you're halfway down. But, once you get that hole dug, it's smooth sailing. Now, all you have to do is deal with the sleep deprivation and crummy weather.

Keep reading... Show less
History

That time US troops found 200 tons of stolen Nazi gold

In the closing months of World War II, the defeated Nazi Army scrambled to hide the hundreds of tons of gold they had despicably stripped from various nations during their occupation. As they hurriedly stashed their ill-gotten gains, they were unaware that the Allies were drawing near.

Keep reading... Show less
Lists

10 military spouses you should unfriend on Facebook immediately

Often, there comes a point when people decide to give their Facebook friends list an overhaul.

They completely change their social landscape online by avoiding accepting friend requests from certain types of people, and they give their current friends list a good, hard scrub.

Everyone has their reasons. Maybe they're doing it for security purposes, or because a handful of people's posts drive them crazy or they want to keep a more professional profile. Military spouses in particular might do so because they want to focus on positive, stress-free relationships – that is, the ones that bring wine, wear sweat pants, and check judgment at the door.

Keep reading... Show less
GEAR & TECH

This JASSM variant could replace the Harpoon

For a long time, the AGM-84/RGM-84 Harpoon missile has been the primary anti-ship weapon of the United States military. Over the years, with improvements, it's successfully held the line. But, as is perpetually the case, time and technological advances have forced the U.S. Military to look for a missile with even more reach and punch.

Keep reading... Show less
Entertainment

7 Marvel Cinematic Universe movies to watch before 'Infinity War'

Not planning a two-day Marvel Cinematic Universe marathon right before seeing "Avengers: Infinity War?"

Nobody has time for that.

To accommodate fans who want to freshen up their knowledge, we collected a list of the most essential MCU movies to watch right before you see "Infinity War," which is scheduled for release April 27, 2018.

Keep reading... Show less