Facebook now allows you to use full-motion video as cover imagery for your profile page. We are either one step closer to bringing back ugly MySpace pages or maximizing everyone's creative potential.
I think we're safe.
The Marine Corps updated their official Facebook page to include not just some awesome shots of Marines doing Marine things, but also to teach a little about the Corps' history. It's basically the best primer to fool kids into learning while simultaneously getting their malleable brains ready to be washed in the cult that is the U.S. Marine Corps.
Damn. I'm a 35-year-old Air Force veteran and I'm already primed to go to MCT after watching that. But, for the uninitiated, these are some the historical battles the video covers.
1. The Raid on Nassau
Yes, the Marines invaded the Bahamas. They captured the island of New Providence in the Bahamas in 1776 in an attempt to raid British gunpowder stores there.
I bet Marines wish we still invaded Caribbean countries.
The Continental Marines didn't get much gunpowder but it was the first amphibious landing of what would become the United States Marine Corps.
2. The Battle of Derna
But no, the Middle East it is.
If you're reading this, you've probably heard of the infamous "Shores of Tripoli" from the well-known hymn. Marine Lt. Presley O'Bannon led a ragtag group of Marines and Arab allies against the Barbary pirate states in North Africa and won against all odds.
3. The Battle of Chapultepec
If you know the aforementioned hymn, you're probably familiar with this battle, too. Marines captured the citadel of Chapultepec Castle in Mexico City during the 1847 Mexican-American War.
"It's just a small hill, I think!"
They fought up a 200-foot slope and over a 12-foot wall just to enter the castle. Then, they took it from the Mexican Army, sometimes fighting hand-to-hand to do it.
4. The Battle of Belleau Wood
This bloody World War I slugfest is a fight nobody thought was winnable. Even after the French fell back from the woods, the Marines stood their ground against the oncoming Germans. When the Marine lines held, it astonished all their allies.
"It's just some woods, no big deal!"
It's said that this is where the Marines earned the nickname, "Devil Dogs."
5. The Battle of Iwo Jima
Of all the battles on display in the video, this is the one that likely needs the least explanation. The iconic image of Marines raising the American flag over Mount Suribachi is legendary.
Yeah, this one.
It took 110,000 American troops nearly a month to capture the island. And of the 21,000 Japanese defenders, only 216 survived to be taken prisoner.
6. The Battle of the Chosin Reservoir
This is the most amazing fight that was almost lost to history. The 1st Marine Division took on 10 attacking Chinese divisions in a blinding, freezing snowstorm in North Korean Siberia — and they won.
The individual stories of surviving Chosin veterans — calling themselves "The Chosin Few" — are the stuff of legend.
7. The Battle of Hue
In one of the most pivotal moments of the entire Vietnam War, a forgotten area on the border between North and South Vietnam became a focal point for the Tet Offensive.
Takes the phrase "painting the town red" to a whole new level.
Capturing Hue City was a brilliant strategy for the North Vietnamese. The only problem was that it was defended by U.S. Marines – and they spent a month taking it back, house-by-house.
8. Iraq and Afghanistan
As for Desert Storm, Iraq, and Afghanistan, the history of those entire conflicts is too long to list out here, but find out (or ask Marines) about their time in Desert Storm, or in places like Sangin in Afghanistan or Fallujah in Iraq.