6 'first-world problem' complaints about military life

Quality of life has come a long way since soldiers fought to avoid trench foot in World War I. But that doesn’t mean the 21st Century military isn’t without significant issues. Here are a few of them:

1. ‘Why can’t we get the proper proteins!?’

Military first world complaints DFAC problems more eggs dining facility army chow

Photo: Reddit.com/Ryanbuddy04

This writer sacrifices his breakfast meats for a measly extra egg, but the DFAC is too stingy to give it to him. And he’s not the only one having issues. Other redditors jumped in as well.

Military first world complaints DFAC problems more beef dining facility army chow

Photo: reddit screenshot

Military first world complaints DFAC problems more chicken dining facility army chow

Photo: reddit screenshot

2. ‘Brown underwear and green socks are lame, free immunizations suck.’

Military first world complaints army uniforms

Photo: reddit screenshot

This post is too long to share here, but a reddit user wanted to let the world know what he hated about the Army as he got out and included, among 80 other items, the free underwear and socks the Army issued him. Granted, they’re ugly, but no one wears the brown underwear after basic and the green socks are only worn in garrison. Other targets of Ballsteintheimpailer‘s wrath include cadences, anyone who outranks him, and free medical.

3. ‘Barracks soldiers should be able to drink like married soldiers.’

A male soldier,roman_fyseek, hadn’t been at Fort Drum long when he was caught passed out drunk in a bed with a female soldier. Word of his infractions climbed the chain, and he found himself in front of the battalion commander. The intrepid soldier told the commander that it’s crap that he can’t get blackout drunk with another soldier but married soldiers can pass out with their wives.

Military first world complaints drinking alcohol bachelors married barracks dependents

Photo: reddit screenshot

Shockingly, this supposedly worked. The battalion commander elevated it to the base commander. The base commander talked to the soldier, increased the alcohol limits in the barracks, and allowed troops to decorate their own rooms.

4. ‘Buying magazines and paying into charity are for suckers.’

No, the unit isn’t supposed to force members to order magazines; and yes, troops can refuse to pay into charitable funds. Unit commands usually “highly encourage” charitable contributions, unit t-shirt purchases, and purchase of a reading list. IG_complaint (actual username) was having none of it and took to reddit to request help.

Army complaints military life first world military problems IG complaints unit purchases

Photo: reddit screenshot

Other users recommended he lodge a complaint with the inspector general, though it seems like he probably knew that was an option already.

5. ‘The Oath of Enlistment is offensive and unconstitutional so Congress is a domestic enemy.’

Military first world complaints  crazy people oath of enlistment

Photo: reddit screenshot

Military first world complaints oath of enlistment illegal order

Photo: reddit screenshot

Publius1775 really, really wants religion struck from the face of the earth, starting with the words, “So help me God,” in the Oath of Enlistment. He’s so passionate about it that he declared Congress a domestic enemy of the state.

His complaint comes a little late since the Air Force was the only service that still required the words, “So help me God,” and they dropped the requirement ten days after this man mailed his letter to the president, the service secretaries, and the Department of Defense inspector general. (The two events were probably not connected.)

6. ‘Military bases suck, mostly because of mosquitoes.’

Military first world complaints  fort polk mosquitoes discomfort

Photo: reddit screenshot

When these service members got together to complain about bases, the mosquitoes came up a surprising number of times. Fort Polk got the worst complaints despite the fact that they have a Waffle House. Cannon Air Force Base, New Mexico; Twentynine Palms, California; and Fort Knox, Kentucky were all drug through the mud as well.

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