6 reasons Communists were the ultimate movie villain

The 1980s were a great time for movies. Hollywood could make any movie about anyone anywhere and it could feature this one built-in, believable villain: Communists.

No matter what the story was about, Commies could be counted on to try and stop American heroes from saving the day. They were the greatest gift to villainy since the handlebar mustache.

Which lets you know who the most evil men are.

Not only did we get an all-purpose, worldwide villain, we got a bad guy every red-blooded American could cheer on to take down. A Communist movie villain was the perfect foil for any hero.

Unless that hero spent most of the series fighting Nazis.

Sure, they weren't all bad. Most Communist citizens probably just wanted to get on with their lives. But when their governments were bad, they were spectacular. There are many reasons for this.

1. Any wacky plan the Reds came up with was believable.

Whether they were doing something practical like creating a super quiet submarine or something stupid like trying to embarrass the United States by making Rocky Balboa fight Ivan Drago, we believed they would. Because they're evil, right? Whatever it takes.

In a way, we legitimately believed they would make that plan, because why not? We're the center of the Universe and they're trying to be number one, so they had to constantly one-up America in every way. The Russians are the people who built an actual doomsday device, after all.

2. There was nothing you could do about them.

Because what are you really going to do about it, start a nuclear war? Shut up.

We can't have an all-out war, that would end civilization as we know it. So America just had to foil all of their insane little plots one by one, or hatch some harebrained scheme of our own, and you knew it would never go too far.

The CIA and KGB would just pretend it never happened.

If you're not familiar with the movie "Firefox," it was about a jet built by the Russians that could fly six times the speed of sound and had weapons that could be controlled WITH YOUR MIND. Spoiler Alert: Clint Eastwood straight up STOLE IT from a Russian air base, shot down the second prototype, killing the pilot and the Russians didn't do sh*t.

Only in the Cold War.

3. It made for interesting alliances.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend right? The U.S. intelligence community didn't realize what they were building or how far Osama bin Laden would go with his new network. The entertainment community had no idea either, so we got to see Britain's most popular spy working with the Afghan Mujahideen.

Also, Rambo: America's greatest movie fighting force dedicated the third act of his saga to the Mujahideen. Ouch. Talk about regretting the morning after...

4. It was cathartic.

After spending more than a decade with the struggle and subsequent stigma of the Vietnam War — coupled with the Détante-era perception that the U.S. was somehow losing the arms race, along with every other problem that plagued America – something had to give.

A win against some commie scum was a welcome respite from the drudgery of real-world geopolitics, especially if you could do it with your high school classmates — which was apparently the mid-80s Gen-X American Dream.

5. The stakes were really high.

The contest is so much more satisfying to win when there's something on the line. We're only talking about world domination here.

6. No one could accuse you of being racist.

Being PC is difficult. Let's face it, we all want to be respectful. There's just a lot to keep straight.

Being part of a worldwide ideology, bent on taking over the Free World, Communists weren't limited to Russia. They could be Chinese, Cuban, Vietnamese, Korean, African, or Latin American.

Anyone could be a Commie, it didn't matter what color their skin was, every Communist was red.

This also worked for Nazis, Fascists, and pretty much anyone James Bond ever faced — who were all thoroughly evil. Hollywood needs a bad guy, and the Communists were the perfect fit. In America's current politically correct culture, you can't use an entire race or religion as the villain, even if Aaron Sorkin says it's their turn.